Suicide. What is it? The Facts about Suicide. If you are feeling suicidal, please T.A.L.K

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1 If you are feeling suicidal, please T.A.L.K Tell someone what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Ask for their help, or seek help. Listen to their advice or advice from others. Know who to call in a crisis and keep the number with you at all times. Breathing Space is available from Monday to Thursday from 6pm-2am and Friday 6pm to Monday 6am on for support, advice and local points of contact. The Samaritans listening service is available 24 hours on , or jo@samaritans.org. Suicide What is it? Suicide is the formal term for taking one s own life. It is often described as being something that happens when a person s painful circumstances exceed their resources for coping with that pain. 1 They often do not want to die, they just want to end the pain they are suffering. The Facts about Suicide In the UK, for people aged 15-24, suicide is the second biggest cause of death after road accidents.2 Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy whatever the person s age. One suicide represents lost life, lost talent, lost creativity, a lost mother or father, brother, sister, son or daughter, and a wound that does not easily heal in those who are left behind. In 2010 there were 781 deaths by suicide in Scotland. That is more than two lives lost to suicide every day.3 Suicide and self harm are often confused. Some people harm themselves as a coping mechanism, not because they want to kill themselves. People attempt suicide for a wide range of reasons. Some things, like a major life change, a loss or bereavement can trigger suicidal feelings. Long term factors such as abuse or illness can also lead to suicidal feelings. Many, though not all suicides can be prevented Samaritans SEE23285 Suicide.indd 1 10/02/ :07

2 Warning Signs of Suicide The only way to know for sure is to ask. The following list or warning signs is not definitive for a more detailed list, visit some of the sites listed at the end of the factsheet. Some people may show none of these signs yet feel suicidal, while others may show several yet be coping OK. Talking about death: A person may talk about dying, disappearing or going away. They might talk about funerals, suicide methods or other types of self-harm. Often, the more detailed a person s plan for suicide is, the more at risk they may be. Hopelessness: A person might believe that things will never get better; that nothing will ever change, or might talk about things in the future being irrelevant. Recent loss or trigger: A person may be particularly vulnerable due to a significant time or event. Anniversaries, a life change, a trauma, or a loss could all be a trigger. Change in personality: A person might not seem themselves distracted, sad, distant or lacking in concentration. They may suddenly become less down, and more happy or peaceful. This is because once they have made the decision to end their life, they feel that a solution has been found. Putting things in order: If somebody starts putting their affairs in order (like arranging wills, pet or childcare), or giving away their prized possessions, they may be at risk. Recovering after Suicide Attempt Many people who attempt suicide have previously tried to take their lives. Reducing the stigma of suicide will increase people s likelihood of seeking assistance. In emergencies, this covers the immediate medical need following a suicidal act, where a person, particularly a young person might be afraid to call an ambulance or attend an A&E department. At other times, reducing stigma enables people to reach out to families, friends, and professionals who can help people see alternatives to suicide for healing their pain. After a suicide attempt, the unconditional support of family and friends can help a person to re-establish themselves, and develop a network of support that would help prevent similar crises developing in the future. Bereaved by Suicide Different people respond in different ways to losing someone as a result of suicide. Circumstances surrounding a death may vary greatly and some people may appear to cope better than others. The Scottish Association for Mental Health has produced a booklet After a Suicide, which provides advice, support and sources of referral for people who have recently been bereaved. This is available from and from the see me or Choose Life websites. 2 SEE23285 Suicide.indd 2 10/02/ :07

3 Suicide and Stigma Stigma comes from poor understanding, from awkwardness, or unfamiliarity with something that is different or outwith a person s experience. Suicide is classic example of this. It is such an inconceivable act to most people that they often can t identify with it, or empathise with those affected. It isn t surprising therefore, that suicide is one of the few remaining taboos in society. Stigma is experienced by people who have tried to take their lives. This may come when they try to access help. A person might fear others reactions and even delay or not reach out, sometimes with tragic consequences. Often, people stigmatise themselves, withdrawing or seeing themselves as inferior or weak for having reached that point of desperation, or even having survived. Because most people are uneasy about discussing suicide, the families, friends and colleagues of those who attempt suicide often feel awkward knowing what to say or how to act around the person. This can come across as stigmatising, and is easy to overcome by getting good information, or asking the person. For similar reasons, this type of awkwardness or even hostility is common towards people bereaved by suicide, where condolences are sometimes avoided through not knowing what to say. The grieving process after a suicide is longer and more complex than in other forms of bereavement, and with careful understanding and support, stigma can be reduced. One of the most complicated issues around a suicide is the reason, or the perceived failure of friends or family to spot the signs. There is often a massive need to find a reason, or apportion blame, when the reason may never be known. Whilst many suicides can be prevented, there aren t always warning signs. For those left after a suicide, there is self stigma and recrimination. For those who have survived a suicide attempt, the blame can sometimes fall on them when they are most vulnerable. Powerful emotions around blame and guilt can lead to confusion or uneasiness that can break up relationships and allow stigma to appear. Myths about Suicide Myth 1: Fact 1: Talking about suicide or asking someone if they feel suicidal will encourage suicide attempts. Serious talk about suicide does not create or increase risk, it reduces it. The best way to identify the possibility of suicide is to ask directly. Openly discussing someone s thoughts of suicide can be a source of relief for them and can be key to preventing the immediate danger of suicide. Myth 2: Young people who talk about suicide never attempt or complete suicide. Fact 2: People who feel suicidal often talk about their feelings and plans to friends or others. Listening to, validating, and acting to support a person in this circumstance can save lives. Myth 3: Suicide is illegal. Fact 3: Suicide is not illegal. Even so, there are still legal questions in the UK, where suicidal individuals have been charged with Breach of the Peace, and even been made the subject of Anti-Social Behaviour Orders. A woman who has attempted suicide four times has been banned from jumping into rivers, canals or onto railway lines. (BBC, February 2005) Myth 4: The only effective ways to help suicidal people come from professional therapists with extensive experience in this area. Fact 4: You can help by identifying the potentially suicidal person and talking to them about it. Preventing suicide is everyone s business. 3 SEE23285 Suicide.indd 3 10/02/ :07

4 Myth 5: If somebody wants to take their life, they will, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Fact 5: Most people contemplating suicide do not want to die; they just want to stop the pain and difficulties they are experiencing. Although there are some occasions when nobody could have predicted a suicide, or intervened, in most cases there will have been a point in the process where a timely intervention might have averted the tragic outcome. Myth 6: People who try to kill themselves must be mentally ill. Fact 6: Most people have clear reasons for their suicidal feelings. Most people have thought of suicide from time to time. Though suicide is the tragic consequence of many mental health problems, around 3 out of 4 people who take their own lives have not been in contact with mental health services in the year before their death. Myth 7: Some people are always suicidal. Fact 7: Some groups, sub-cultures or ages are particularly associated with suicide. Whilst some groups seem to be at risk, such as young men, suicide can affect anybody. Many people think about suicide in passing at some time or another. There isn t a type for suicide, and whilst there are warning signs, they aren t always there. Whilst there is a risk of further suicide attempts, people who have had suicidal feelings or have made an attempt on their life move on. Myth 8 : Suicide is painless. Fact 8 : Most methods of suicide are extremely unpleasant. Some methods are violent, and catastrophic. Others are physically painful, and drawn out. Myth 9: A suicide in the elderly is less of a tragedy than the suicide of a teenager. Fact 9: Any suicide is a tragedy for the individual, and the people around them. Saying at least they had had a good life marginalises the grief of those left behind after a suicide in later life. Myth 10 : When a suicidal person begins to feel better, the danger is over. Fact 10: Often the risk of suicide can be greatest as depression lifts, or as after a person appears to calm after a period of turmoil. This can be because once a decision to attempt suicide is made people may feel they have a solution; however desperate it might be. Myth 11: People who attempt suicide are merely looking for attention. Fact 11: Often people who attempt suicide do not want to die. When a person decides to make an attempt on their life, it is often because all other options, including the means to communicate with other people more conventionally are obscured by the pain they feel. Myth 12: Those around someone who has had a bereavement by suicide shouldn t talk about it. Fact 12: Ignoring loss is denying loss. It should not be given the silent treatment. 4 SEE23285 Suicide.indd 4 10/02/ :07

5 Suicide in the Media Negative or insensitive reporting of mental ill-health hurts, and causes offence. The same is true for reporting of suicide. Inappropriate reporting of suicide has also been associated with increasing the risk of suicidal behaviour. As a result, clear guidelines have been produced which give the media advice on responsible coverage of suicide. The Scottish Government s National Programme for Improving Mental Health and Wellbeing, see me and the NUJ collaborated on guidelines for reporting of mental ill-health and suicide. They are available at The Samaritans also produce a guide, available from Some of the main points included in the various published guidelines, and issues to consider when reporting a suicide include: Checking that the language used does not glamorise or sensationalise suicide, or present suicide as a solution to problems. Avoid being explicit about the method used and the location, particularly avoiding pictures of the site. Avoid mentioning names or giving addresses of suicide sites or chat rooms which detail methods and means for people to take their own lives. Care should be taken when considering interviewing the bereaved. Evidence shows that those close to the person are themselves at increased risk of suicide. Place any news item, story or feature in context, take great care in implying connections to other recent events, or making assumptions about the causes in individual cases or making links to other recent suicides. If children and young people are involved it is best to wait for statements from the school or local authority. Avoid approaching pupils or friends on their way to or from school, and avoid interrupting the day to day life of the school. Always include helpline contacts. Seek expert advice. There are a range of helpful agencies and organisations and acknowledged experts who can help you. These include the NUJ in Scotland for advice on the reporting of suicide and the Choose Life National Implementation Support Team for expertise on suicide prevention work in Scotland. Information Choose Life PAPYRUS SAMH The Samaritans Support ChildLine ChildLine is a counselling service for children and young people. You can contact ChildLine in these ways; You can phone ChildLine on , send an , have a chat, send a message to Ask Sam and you can post messages to the ChildLine message boards. Phone: Breathing Space Breathing Space is a free confidential phone line that anyone in Scotland can call when they are feeling low or depressed. Open; Monday to Thursday from 6pm-2am and Friday 6pm to Monday 6am. Phone: Samaritans Samaritans is a confidential emotional support service for anyone in the UK and Ireland. The service is available 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide. Phone: SEE23285 Suicide.indd 5 10/02/ :07