Bob Whalen Interview, February J: June B: Bob 22:44

Transcription

1 Bob Whalen Interview, February 2016 J: June B: Bob 22:44 J: Hello. B: Hello. J: Hi, is this Bob? B: Yes, this is Bob Whalen. J: Hi, Bob. This is June Hussey in Tucson. How are you today? B: Well, I'm fine. J: Good. B: It's warmer there than here, huh? J: Not so much today. We're having a winter storm actually. B: Really? J: It's cold. B: Well, at least we're not having any snow now so that's good. They had me scheduled earlier and I couldn't get here by 4:30. J: Oh, ok. Well that's no problem. We'll get it done. B: Ok. J: Right quick I just want to remind you that this call is being recorded so that we can produce a transcript of it. B: Ok. J: That's basically so I can keep my hands-free and not have to take notes. B: If you hear any clicking it's my phone sometimes goes out of order. J: That's no problem, that's no problem and I wanted to say if you should happen to say something that you wanted to rephrase or eliminate altogether from the transcript just go ahead and say it right then and there say, "Oops, don't include that part." Ok? B: Oh, ok, alrighty. J: Ok so we like to talk to residents, like you, Bob, across the country to get their personal story of how they went through their own decision making process to figure out where they were going to live. And we find that people who are just beginning that process find that very helpful to them. Those are the kind of questions I m going to ask and feel free to chime in anything that you wish to add, ok? B: Ok, alrighty. J: So my first question is when did you move to The Fountains at Greenbriar? B: Well, we were just discussing that today and I will be here the beginning of my fourth year, the 18th of February. J: Oh my gosh, so going on four years. Good, good and so what was your hometown before you moved there? B: Well, I was born and raised in Kansas City, Missouri. And at the time I came here I was living in a condo in Independence. J: Ok, so same town. You didn't move very far away, did you?

2 B: No and I was at the point that I had been in the hospital so I couldn't really make my own decisions. I mean I had a little bit to do with it but I had to depend on my dearest friends, who are executors of my estate. J: I see. B: They found the place for me to move to and then brought me here to see if I liked it and I could afford it and this, that and the other. And so I've been here ever since. J: I see. Had you ever given it a thought before that as to maybe someday moving into a community? B: I just thought I was going to be well all the time. J: Yeah. B: And what happened, I had fallen and they took me to the hospital and the idiot doctor that took care of me decided that maybe I had colon cancer. So he and another doctor of course went through the stages to see if I did have and one of them gave me morphine and the other one gave me Demerol, the two most deadly drugs that you can take. So by the night that they had given it to me they called the priest for my church because they didn't think I was going to live through the night. J: Wow. B: Of course I fooled them and got better and thank God I did not have cancer of any sort. J: Oh wow. Well, that turned out well then. It could've turned out different. B: It did. It could've turned out all kinds you know and thank goodness I had sold my house so I had my money from my house because it was paid for. So I don't have any problems of living here yet. Because as you know to live in assisted living or close to assisted living it costs a little bit of money. J: Yeah, now you're a veteran I understand, a Vietnam veteran? B: Right, right. J: I know that the veterans have some programs to assist with those things. B: I don't think that I'm eligible because of my income. J: I see, got it. Ok, well now that you've been there for going on four years, tell me how you found it moving in and how you adjusted. B: When you have a home of your own, whether it's a house or an apartment whatever, and when you make a change, it's a big change, especially when you were living by yourself anyhow. So I adjusted very easily and got along fine and I still like it. There's no perfect place but for the most part I d say I'm very satisfied here. J: Good and so give us an idea of what a typical day for you would be. B: Well I'm not one to sit here in this apartment and look at four walls. I'm not that type of a person. I have to have something to do so I'm on four different committees here and I conduct bingo on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. And I'm one that takes new people around to show them the place when they come to think about whether they want to come in here or not. So I'm busy sometimes more than I want to be. I think gosh Bob you don't have any time to just breathe. But I'm better off because that we're busy and I don't have any time to just sit around and mope and feel sorry for yourself. And thank the good Lord I have been in good health. I take one pill a day and that's all. J: Good for you. B: And I will be 88 in July. J: Wow, good for you. That's nice to hear.

3 B: Yeah. J: I'm sorry, go ahead. B: We got a lot of people here that are in walkers and I think oh, how lucky I am that I'm up on my feet every day. I thank the good Lord every day that I'm basically well. J: That's good. So were you as active back when you lived in your condo as you are now? B: Not quite because I had more space to take care of and I was a gardener then and I had 36 rosebushes. J: Wow. B: So that took a lot of time in the spring, summer and fall which I enjoyed doing. And then I cut the grass. And I had a friend that shared the condo with me and we had three bedrooms and two baths. And so I want stuff neat and put away and clean. I don't want a sloppy place so that took some time to keep it up. And the friend who moved in with me for a while, he understood that he couldn't just throw his clothes here, there, the other. You either put them in the dirty clothes or you hung them up when you took them off. So we didn't have any problems. J: Good, very good and so because of your situation, other people helped find The Fountains for you so I suppose you didn't really look at any other place, did you? B: No, I really didn't. They looked when I was in rehab and they looked and they didn't see anything that they thought I would be satisfied with. And I guess maybe over a period of time I had said I don't want to go to any place ever that is kind of junky or dirty. I just couldn't handle that because that's not my makeup. J: Right, you like things clean. B: I like things clean and to be put away or wherever, not just thrown. I mean anybody can come here and knock on the door and I wouldn t be ashamed to let them come in. J: Oh, that's good. So what kind of services do you take advantage of there? Do you take the meals and stuff like that? B: I take breakfast and dinner because breakfast and lunch or breakfast and dinner either way is included in your rent. Well, I'm not a big eater. I like good food. So I don't take lunch and then maybe up here in my refrigerator I may have some cheese or cottage cheese or something I can nibble at lunchtime if I want to. But basically I have breakfast and then I go to dinner. We're assigned times and I go to dinner usually at 4:30 in the evening. J: Good. So you re back from dinner already, right now. B: Well, yeah I didn't finish up my dinner because Kerry said that it was time for me to call you so. J: Oh gosh I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner. B: That's alright, that's no problem. J: Ok. Well, let me ask you this: Now that you've been there for a while and you understand what the lifestyle is like and how it's helpful to you, what advice would you have for other people? I know you're a resident ambassador so you must talk to people all the time about what it's like to live there. B: When people come and want a tour, then sometimes I take them on a tour and show them. And I'll show them my apartment anytime. They always have a guest furnished apartment to show people but sometimes there has been where two sets of people come at the same time. So you know if I'm not doing anything and they want somebody

4 then I can volunteer anytime and show them and answer any of the questions. One question that none of us do answer is when they want to know how much the rent is. J: Right, what other kind of questions do they ask you typically? B: About the food and what time do you eat or do you have a set time, and what kind of activities do you have. But the thing that amazes me here is how many people that don't take part in any type of activities. They go to eat and then they go to their room. If they go to eat at 4:00 why at 5:30 they re done and they may go to their room and you never see them again until the next day. That would drive me nuts if I sat in this apartment 24/7. I'd be in the nuthouse. J: Well, I guess the nice thing about it is people have choices, right? B: Well, that's right and it's good because we're not all made up the same way which is a blessing too. I mean you could like something that I would hate. I was a music major when I was in school. And I have a blue-ribbon from the Missouri Federation of Music in a contest I was in. J: Oh wow, what kind music you do? B: Well, I don't do anything anymore. I mean I listen but I don't play anymore and that s a shame after getting a blue-ribbon but that was in grade school and high school and for some reason when I started college I decided I would quit for a year. J: And what instrument did you play? B: Piano and then I learned to play a little bit on the organ also. J: Well, maybe you'll take it back up someday. B: Well, people say, "Why don't you sit down and play?" I said, "I don't want anybody to hear me playing now because with me being 88 and I took from when I was 16 through about 20 something. I've been away from it for so long it would be a shame to hear anybody listen to me play. J: Yeah but you say you enjoy listening to music, do they bring in nice? B: I do and I go to concerts. And the other night from here we went to the hockey game. And I hadn't been for a number of years so I went to the hockey game and the next night which was a coincidence to have two things going on in the same week there is a dinner playhouse here in town that serves a buffet before you see a play and so I went to it. So I was out two nights last week. I said, "Boy, that's unusual." But I enjoyed both things and since I can afford to do it and I had nobody except two brothers and a sister living now I can enjoy doing things that maybe I'd kind of save money back in case they were still alive when I died that they d have a little bit of money but I feel I should enjoy it and if I have some left for them fine. I'm not going to waste it but if I want to go to two shows during one week and they're not exorbitant then why not go? J: Right. B: I think I earned it in the after working all my life. J: Right. And you were a banker, right? B: Right, yeah. J: Well, if the banker doesn't know how to save some money then I don't know who does, right? So being from Independence, did you know any other residents when you moved in? B: No, I didn't, no. I had heard that there was a couple here from the same church I go to but the Catholic Church that I went to here in Independence has 4,200 families. J: Oh wow, that s big.

5 B: They have five masses every weekend so I didn't know the people that live here that went to St. Mark's. I know them now of course and of course since I was in the hospital that time they decided that my equilibrium was not exactly right so they have restricted me from driving the car. Now, that's the hardest thing that I've done since I retired, I mean a difficult thing. Because I love to go and I like to go to concerts and this, that and the other and now I have to depend on somebody to take me every place and that's not easy. J: No, that isn t easy. A lot of people have a hard time with that. So tell me how you've adjusted and work with the transportation they offer there. How does that work for you? B: Well, now see I have a friend that will take me once a week. So, I usually let him pick out the day that he wants to go and then he'll take me if I want anything from the drugstore or if I need to go to the bank or something. But now here they will take you on Monday mornings or Friday mornings to the two main grocery stores close here. And they ll take you any place on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday between I think it's about 10:30 or so until 3:00 in the afternoon they'll take you like to the doctor. And it's free up till 18 miles, anything over that you have to pay so much a mile. My doctor happens to be about five miles away so that works out fine. J: That's good. So do you feel like you made the move at the right time in your life, Bob? B: Well, I really didn't have any choice. I was going to have to do something since I couldn't drive the car. Now, if I could've still driven the car I don't know whether I would've come here or not but it's worked out fine. I don't have any problems with it. So I'm very content here. The only thing is I just got the notice in the mail today that my anniversary is the 1st of April so I got a 4% increase in rent. But that would happen no matter where you were. J: That's true, that's true. Well, alright since we got started a little bit late I need to hop off here and take another call but I want to thank you very much for your time and sorry I interrupted your dinner. B: And I hope I gave you information that you wanted. J: Absolutely you made some very good points and it will be very useful for people to read I'm sure so thank you once again and you enjoy the rest of your evening, ok? B: Alrighty, thank you. J: Ok Bob, you take care. B: Bye.