Supercharge Your Sex Life Your Relationship To Yourself - Techniques

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2 Supercharge Your Sex Life Your Relationship To Yourself - Techniques So that was your sexual relationship to yourself, mindset. Now, your sexual relationship to yourself: techniques. The first step is something that I believe every human should do, every six months for their entire life and it s commonly something that people have never done and sounds shocking, backwards or just unheard of. Writing up a list of what your ideal sex life looks like. If you could wave a magic wand over how your sex life looks, what would that come out as? One client, put it really interestingly. He said even when he heard of the exercise, his mind just went through so many blocks of resistance. He said, I felt like my entire life, I ve been a child living in poverty and when someone said, Oh, what do you want for Christmas, little poor boy?" He was like, I m so used to just asking for, like the bare minimum, Oh, if there s a good toy truck in there, that would be amazing. I m not going to insist but something with wheels on it would be amazing. That s all I m going to ask for. He said that when I first introduced this exercise to our sessions, he was like, I sat in front of a piece of paper for the first five minutes just fighting that demon that I felt like I d been that poor kid for my entire life and now my parents just came into a bunch of money and they re like, right, we re multi-millionaires, what do you want? There s no limit. But my entire life has been limits and so when you say be selfish, it was really hard at first but then as I started to make the sex life wish list, I turned into a spoiled little rich kid so quickly. Okay, well I want three bicycles in different colors and I want this thing. I want Slurpee s 10 times a week and this Once I got into it, the wheels started to roll but getting into it, he found quite difficult. So, take your time getting into it but do try and set aside 20 minutes for that exercise and see what comes for you. Don t worry about political correctness or what if someone sees this. Write it for you, really let your uncensored thoughts flow and just see what happens to come out. Number two, something that I have advocated multiple times and I m a huge fan of is to stop watching porn. The research on this has started to really build some momentum and there s great Ted Talks and books on this now. There s erectile dysfunction on mass for men under 30 years old which that in itself should be a fairly large red flag that these are not physiological conditions, this is psychological. When a human being today has the ability to see as many and as high quality sexual partners as the richest king would in his entire lifetime in seven minutes, it s completely over stimulating. Thousands of years ago when

3 we lived in hunter gatherer tribes of people, you might see three to five beautiful, sexually available women throughout your entire lifetime and now, you can click through that in minutes. Our brain, like the software in our minds has nowhere near caught up to that being a reality, which people have said the same thing about junk food. The amount of sugar that you would have found in an entire tree of oranges that you found thousands of years ago, you can now get something out of a vending machine and experience that same sugar rush on command. It s almost like cocaine is to nutrition as porn is to intimacy. There s just a huge rush of dopamine and the reward centers of your brain light up because it s just so over stimulating and so different that when you re used to being in that heightened state of arousal and you could click through a hundred women in an hour doing whatever amazing things your dirty little mind can dream of and then you have your one static partner in front of you and you re baffled by the inconsistency or the lack of strength of your erection, that s why. Your brain is so routinely over stimulated that when you just have a normal amount of stimulation in your one partner, your brain and your erection can t perform on the same level because there isn t that same level of stimulation. By refraining from porn, you ll be more attracted to your partner, normal women will look more attractive because you re not looking at these airbrushed false people. I ve actually known multiple people who ve worked in porn on and off camera and the level of falseness or production that goes into it is just as involved as many blockbuster Hollywood films. There s a stand in for everything. The person you think is one person is actually eight people. There aren t these stallion men that, Wow, I just watched an hour long porn and he never lost his erection. He just fucked her for an entire hour without taking any breaks. That, in itself, is damaging because you think, Man, how come my penis goes down to 70% erection intermittently during an hour of love making but they don t? I guess I m not performing up to standard, and even that scene was shot over a week in a studio. So, just the standards it sets is damaging on so many levels. Number three is, occasionally exercise hard for testosterone boosting. Testosterone is a hormone, people often think that it s what makes males, males, which isn t necessarily true. Men and women both have testosterone. It s not the male hormone, it s the sex and aggression hormone. Women with greater amounts of testosterone in their bodies have higher sex drives. Males with lower T levels have lower sex drives. It s all relative. Testosterone only produces while you re sleeping and the fastest way to massively encourage your testosterone levels is to have workouts that include a lot of compound

4 exercises where you re lifting heavy weights in lower repetitions. So, not that getting jacked is the point here at all but you re not going to build muscle by doing a hundred curls with a 10 pound weight. It s better if you did six repetitions of a 30, 40 pound weight, etc. whatever your higher limit is. So, exercising hard, doing high intensity interval training, less for the muscle growth and more just for the overall testosterone production, cellular reproduction, it gets your glands and lymph nodes. That s the only time, if you re running or doing things that make you jump then it actually compresses the lymph nodes and the glands and squeezes toxins out of them than if you re just stationary and sitting, they don t get squeezed out and removed, especially jumping on I know one person who jumps on a little rebounder, you know, like one of those baby trampolines for half an hour every day just for the compression, expansion and to release those toxins that you get from the G forces that happen when you re on the trampoline, which you just do by being on a treadmill, running anywhere, etc. Number four, masturbate for extended sessions for greater stamina and resensitization. So, there s a few points in here. Most men have honed fairly unproductive masturbatory habits through their younger teenage years because a lot of people, especially in Western culture, they grow up, they live with their families, they ve discovered masturbation, they masturbate and basically race towards the finish of ejaculation. They want to reach orgasm as quickly as possible so they don t get caught, so their parents don t walk in and whether they use porn or not, they really speed to the end. Whatever we re doing in any moment, sex aside, you re getting better at. So, if you re training your muscle, and I ll get more into this later but your penis actually is largely a muscle, even though it s widely believed that it isn t, more on that in a bit. You re training your muscle to respond so that when you get aroused, you only need to last for one or two minutes and then come really quickly, which isn t necessarily a bad thing but a lot of my clients come to me looking for greater stamina; how do I last longer, how do I hold my erection for longer so that my partner can reach orgasm once or several times? So, it s really great to masturbate for extended sessions for greater stamina and re-sensitization because once you get this re-sensitization, you get back in touch with what s happening on an internal level and you become more aware of your arousal arch whereas if you masturbate for two minutes while looking at porn, that s a very externalized

5 process. Your attention is purely on the thing that you re looking at on your computer screen, TV screen and your actual moment to moment awareness of what s happening to your body is very low compared to, if you re not using porn and you re taking more time, you really get to feel, okay, where am I on that zero to ten scale right now? Am I completely far off from really feeling aroused? Am I a two, an eight, am I at the point of no return? It s very hard to have that awareness when you re clearly focused on something else and so, in these extended sessions, you can do what I call the nine to five technique, which I like because it sounds like you re punching the clock and doing work but it s the exact opposite of that, it s super fun. The nine to five technique is masturbating to arousal and basically, on a scale of zero to ten, rising and falling your sexual arousal between a four, five out of ten up to nine and then back down again. So, medium arousal, it s like, Yeah, I m still pretty much completely hard but I m not that wild right now. I m not really feeling it. That s about a four or a five and the nine is like, I m hovering closer toward the point of no return, so rising and falling that trains, first of all, like oxygen aids the blood, it makes your penis healthier. I ll get into more of that in a bit but it s basically training your body and your sexual arousal response to re-learn that you don t just need to get hard and come within a minute or two. You re un-training that back to what the foundation steps of stamina feels like. When you re doing that in the bedroom or wherever you have sex with your partner, it will feel much more natural to have that secular rising and falling of your sexual energy. Audience: How long should you masturbate for? I recommend really setting aside some intentional time, like minimum minutes. So, people think that penises aren t muscles and it s true. They re entirely muscle but depending on your genetic makeup, every penis has somewhere between 30-50% of what s known as smooth muscle, which is the kind of muscular fiber that exists in all of your organs and so you can actually train your penis to a) get stronger, have better stamina but also grow and you can do it in completely natural ways. I m sure there are lots of gimmicky pills and things out there that do something but I m not going to touch on those because I believe in sharpening your own sword, not taking a quick gimmick that promises whatever result. Number five is something that you may have heard of before, beginning with a twist, doing kegel exercises for the first month. So, if you think of the way to build any muscle in its strength or stamina is to put strain on it, give it a higher

6 horsepower than it s used to and then by giving it time to rest and break between workouts, it becomes that bigger muscle, bigger engine. My favorite examples is someone once said that if you put a 12 horsepower load on a 10 horsepower engine, it just blows the engine. It destroys it whereas if you put a 12 horsepower load on a 10 horsepower muscle, it becomes a 12 horsepower muscle. So, this is the same with kegel exercises with your penis that is 30-50% smooth muscle tissue is that if you go to the gym, if you do kegel exercises daily for the first couple of weeks then you re going to over-train and actually damage the muscle tissue and sometimes you ll even notice retraction, like it ll get smaller because you re damaging the muscle. Literally, damaging it. So, it s in the in between days of doing kegel exercises that the muscle actually builds. If you re single it s a lot easier because there isn t an external person to be aware of their sexual needs but if you re single, you can have very intentional set aside sessions where people that haven t heard of kegel exercises, basically the PC muscle or the pubococcygeus muscle is a hammocklike muscle that supports your entire groin, so it connects from your tailbone up to your pubic bone and just cradles all of your sexual awesomeness. It s a muscle that, when you flex it, it s the thing that makes you stop the flow of urine as you re peeing so the start and stop method is something else that s been thrown around. So, for the first month because this is probably a new thing that you re just starting to get an awareness of, you ll want to do, say five to maybe ten minute sessions where you sit down because you want to take as much muscular strain off of the muscles around the PC muscles. You don t want to be putting muscular energy into standing up or into swaying or your legs, stomach, etc. You want to just target it as much as possible and doing sessions of little pulses where you can clench eight times in a row. Even if you set some repetitions of that then after, you can do a couple of two second holds. The first couple of times you do that, even holding for two seconds straight will be a bit challenging. I m seeing the people in the room as their face is like, Yeah, two seconds. Oh, that is kind of hard. So, doing a couple, like four or five two second holds just to see how doable that is. So, just doing these things for a couple of minutes while you re sitting so you can just target the PC muscles and then after the five to ten minutes is up, just stopping. If you can, taking a day or two off from masturbation, giving those muscles a rest and then that s where the strength actually builds. That s where the muscle actually grows is in the several days after working it out. It s the same as building any muscle. So, when you re doing kegel exercises for the first three to four weeks to build up a baseline level of musculature, a six pack in your pants is what we re going for.

7 Step number six is doing the power kegels for the times after that and power kegels are basically kegel exercises on steroids. They re definitely too much to start with. Don t go with the classic masculine, Oh, if that one works the best, I m going to go straight for that. You re going to over-train, you ll do damage, just be patient with it. So, power kegels, just like you don t get really strong and jacked by doing bicep curls with nothing in your hands, you want to add an energetic resistance to what you re picking up so after you have the baseline musculature in your PC muscle region, you want to start adding resistance. Whether that s masturbating to arousal and flexing your cock to your static hand, just have something to be pushing against or something that I find a lot easier because there s a better range of motion is masturbating to arousal and then draping small hand towels over your cock and basically doing bicep curls with those hand towels. If one or two small dry hand towels feels like not much resistance, don t overtrain, don t go too far too fast but in maybe subsequent sessions, your second and third time doing it, you can drench them in water So I have clients that keep hand towels in their shower and just, as they re shower, they ll masturbate to arousal, soak it in the readily available water as you re already naked, drape it over the cock and do some penile bicep curls like that. When you acclimate to that, that becomes a bit easier and after, hopefully two to three weeks of doing it at that level, that you can start using dry beach towels, like dry smaller beach towels and dry larger beach towels, etc.