How policies, especially those governing A Way of Life (AWOL) groups, break the Twelve Traditions and perpetuate dictatorship in the fellowship of

Transcription

1 How policies, especially those governing A Way of Life (AWOL) groups, break the Twelve Traditions and perpetuate dictatorship in the fellowship of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) George C., Saginaw, Michigan, July 14, 2018

2 Who am I to criticize FA? What are FA, Traditions, and AWOLs? What s wrong with AWOLs? AWOL policies violate FA Traditions

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4 I am an active FA member. I have an FA sponsor. I have 3 FA sponsees. I have one year of abstinence. I lost 64 pounds in 6 months, and now I am on maintenance. I came to FA in April 2017 at 228 pounds, and I weighed 164 pounds, normal weight BMI (24.9), by October I ve attended FA meetings in four US states. I cofounded an informal zero day roundtable FA meeting. I ve attended two AWOLs. I did not complete the first, a Red Book AWOL, and I am currently attending the second, a Big Book AWOL. I lead meetings from time to time and I perform other service activities I hesitate to accept permanent service positions because I do not want to be seen as supporting the FA power structure. I care about FA.

5 I have experience in AA. AA is the fellowship upon which FA is based. I am an active AA member. I have an AA sponsor. I have 3 AA sponsees. I have 9 years sobriety in AA. I do open talks. I cofounded multiple AA meetings. I organized road trips for Founders Day. I recorded the first 164 pages of the Big Book onto CDs so a newcomer, who could not read, could listen to the Big Book. Now he can read. I learned sign language to sponsor a deaf newcomer. I published the story in the AA Grapevine. Now I have sponsored several other deaf newcomers. I have explained the Big Book in sign language many times. I know the Big Book. I have served as GSR for my home group, and I have served on Area level committees. I served as Treasurer of an Alano club. These positions all required the ability to apply the Traditions in practice. I know the Twelve Traditions.

6 I AM WILLING TO SPEAK UP Without dissent, FA cannot improve, but FA can perpetuate dictatorship. Silenced dissent perpetuates dictatorship. FA leaders have set up a system where only one opinion can prevail, the party line. Dissenters are silenced or punished. To ensure conformity, FA sponsors famously fire sponsees for failing to conform to FA s litany of rules. AWOL experience is required to be eligible for FA leadership. Nonabstinent members have no voice and no vote in FA meetings, and cannot participate in AWOL meetings. Irony: AWOLs teach the Twelve Steps required for permanent abstinence, yet eject those who cannot maintain abstinence. Recovery fails, but conformity endures. Not-so-spiritual message from FA leadership to newcomers: shut up, conform, or get out we are in charge (the very opposite of the AA message, and counterproductive for recovery).

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8 Source: foodaddicts.org

9 Source: foodaddicts.org

10 Source: Wikipedia THE

11 FA just copied-and-pasted, perhaps without a complete understanding Source: foodaddicts.org FA S 1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on FA unity. 2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. 3. The only requirement for FA membership is a desire to stop eating addictively. 4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or FA as a whole. 5. Each group has but one primary purpose to carry its message to the food addict who still suffers. 6. An FA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the FA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. 7. Every FA group ought to be fully selfsupporting, declining outside contributions. 8. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers. 9. FA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. 10. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the FA name ought never be drawn into public controversy. 11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. 12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

12 AWOL or a way of life is a kind of meeting devoted to the study of the 12 Steps. AWOL meetings use a specific format to study the 12 Steps of AA for a prescribed period of time, usually six to 12 months. AWOL step study meetings are led by individuals in recovery who have completed a previous AWOL. Participation in AWOL meetings requires 90 days of sustained abstinence. For those who live a long distance from in-person AWOL step study meetings, AWOL phone meetings are available in some locations. Not true in my experience, but abstinence throughout the duration of the AWOL is usually required. Source: addiction.com

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14 Source: foodaddicts.org FA

15 FA Recovery Process Become abstinent Break Do 12 Steps (in AWOLs) Stay abstinent AA Recovery Process Typically if you break you leave the AWOL Do 12 Steps (with sponsor) Stay abstinent

16 Source: Big Book, Chapter 2, excerpts from pages 21,22, and 24

17 AWOL 12 Steps FA leaders conflate AWOLs and the Twelve Steps. AWOLs are just one way of presenting the Twelve Steps, and not necessarily always the best way. The FA dogma regarding AWOL groups is akin to the Catholic church s dogma of the Earth being the center of the Universe, fundamentally wrong. (I hope FA leadership eventually does what the Roman Catholic Pope did: admit the mistake!) AWOLs are no more necessary to FA than belief in an Earth-centered solar system is necessary to true belief in God. Requiring abstinence to attend AWOL meetings is akin to requiring sobriety to attend AA meetings. If a person had self control, why would she need recovery meetings at all?

18 AWOL policies violate FA Traditions. That s why AWOL policies impair FA s credibility among newcomers, especially those with prior recovery experience. Given these obvious flaws in AWOLs, why would FA preserve such policies? AWOLs perpetuate the power structure. In order to become member of FA s central authority, you must submit to AWOLs. Less-addicted FA can control more-addicted ones. That is, Hard eaters can control real addicts. Source: FA bylaws

19 Tradition One Tradition Two Tradition Three Tradition Four Tradition Five Tradition Six Tradition Seven Tradition Eight Tradition Nine Tradition Ten Tradition Eleven Tradition Twelve AWOL policies violate FA Traditions

20 Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on FA unity.

21 Source: foodaddicts.org

22 SEPARATE FA + NON-FA AWOLS UNITY FA claims its number one tradition is unity. But FA demands non-fa AWOL groups must be recognized and supported. If FA requires multiple organizations, i.e. separate FA and AWOL groups, how can this be considered unity? Multiple groups protect white knuckle recovery of FA leaders, whose recoveries might not withstand newcomer dissent. Some FA recoveries are human-powered (Tools based), not God-powered (Step based). Multiple groups perpetuate the power structure. Silence newcomers in FA meetings, and kick newcomers out of AWOL meetings. The message, again: shut up, conform, or get out.

23 For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

24 It is an expression of God, as in, a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. It is a vote. It allows everyone a voice. It is widely agreed, based on substantial unanimity including consideration of perhaps dissenting individual points of view. Source: AA website

25 Source: Bylaws of foodaddicts.org If nonabstinent members have no vote, how can God fully express himself?

26 The only requirement for FA membership is a desire to stop eating addictively.

27 Source: Bylaws of foodaddicts.org What does it mean to be a member with no voice and no vote?

28 Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or FA as a whole.

29 Source: AA website Group level autonomy

30 Source: Bylaws of foodaddicts.org Centrally dictated conformity

31 Each group has but one primary purpose to carry its message to the food addict who still suffers

32 Step Twelve Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. The message is the Steps! If non-fa AWOLs present the steps, then what is an FA group s message? Go to AWOLs? If AWOLs hold the message, why not have newcomers just go to AWOLs, and not FA?

33 An FA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the FA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

34 Source: FA website

35 Every FA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

36 Source: foodaddicts.org In practice, FA and AWOL monies are mixed together, considered equivalent

37 Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

38 No problem here. FA does not charge fees for Twelfth Step work. There are no FA endorsed treatment centers, for example. But FA does not perform much Twelfth Step work beyond the confines of meetings. (FA members don t go out and Twelfth Step people like AA members do.)

39 FA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

40 A central authority prescribes policies for most every aspect of FA members and FA groups. These are referred to in writing as guidelines but there is fear among FA members that failing to follow the guidelines will result in undesirable consequences. (My evidence is anecdotal.) Image source: FA Website. I have never met a person who believes FA is not organized.

41 Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the FA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

42 No problem here. FA does not make statements to the public other than those related to recovery from food addiction.

43 Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.

44 No problem here.

45 Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

46 No problem, as far as member anonymity is concerned. Big problem, as far as protecting feelings of particular people are concerned. FA needs improvement w.r.t. principles before personalities Source: foodaddicts.org

47 Source: foodaddicts.org The Oxford Group led to the founding of AA. Must the Oxford Group be recognized in AA s bylaws? OA led to the founding of FA. Must the OA be recognized in FA s bylaws?

48 I care about FA. Some people are afraid to speak up because of the dictatorial power structure in FA. FA AWOL policies harm both newcomers and longtime members by weakening the fellowship. Lies about Traditions weaken FA credibility. Dictatorial, micro-managerial organizational style weakens sense of friendship and increases culture of fear. Perhaps if FA were more welcoming, like AA, FA would not lose so many newcomers. If FA would comply with its Traditions as written, many of these problems would vanish. If FA will not comply with its Traditions as written, then it should at least modify its Traditions to be honest. Example: Tradition One unity, except AWOLs. Example: Traditions Six and Seven don t lend FA name or accept non-fa monies, except AWOLs. AWOL policies violate FA Traditions

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