Support for couples and separated co-parents

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1 Support for couples and separated co-parents

2 Support for couples and separated co-parents Conflict between parents is a normal part of relationships. However, there is a large body of evidence that shows that parental conflict puts children s mental health and long-term outcomes at risk when it is frequent, intense and poorly resolved. Parental conflict can harm children s outcomes regardless of whether parents are together or separated, or are biologically related to the child, such as in blended or foster families. Conflict between parents, whether they are together or separated, is associated with a range of problems for children and young people as they grow up, including mental health difficulties, poorer academic outcomes, reduced employment prospects and poor future relationship chances. This booklet has been put together to provide you with information on the services and support available to you and your family, and has three sections; Support for couples, support for family relationships, and support for separated co-parents. Please be aware that there may be a charge for some of these services and we advise you to contact the individual services about their fees as these may vary depending on your circumstances and needs.

3 Support for couples Therapist Ltd Psychotherapy and Counselling Telephone: Web: Facebook: Offering counselling services for a wide variety of issues including; Family therapy is primarily concerned with helping individuals within the group express themselves in a non-judgmental and solution-focused setting. Marriage or Couple Counselling isn t about blaming one person for the problems in the relationship counsellors are neutral, and don t offer personal opinions on what s going wrong or what you should do it s about learning the ways both of you can grow and develop in order to strengthen your bond. Relationship Counselling Therapists can help with many different aspects of a relationship. The counsellor will be able to spot the unhealthy aspects of communication or interaction which are affecting the relationship, and he or she will help you move to healthier, more positive methods. More effective communication will be encouraged, and you ll learn new skills to help you better manage issues within the relationship when they arise. Relate Bedfordshire and Luton Telephone: appointments@relatebedsandluton.org.uk Web: Relationship counselling for couples and individuals Help for when you are facing divorce or separation; affairs or major conflict, but they are also there for the worries that might seem trivial or minor. Professionally trained counsellors will support you in a non-judgmental way whether you are older, younger, straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, black, white... Relate counsellors will always give you the respect you deserve. Sessions can be offered as face-to-face sessions in venues across the county. If this is not convenient, you can talk to a Relate counsellor over the telephone or via Skype. Relate also offer counselling for children (aged 10 to 21 years), therapeutic support for children (aged 5 to 9 years), adult sex therapy, counselling for the armed forces, and family counselling. Total Wellbeing Service Telephone: Web: Total Wellbeing supports people living in Luton who want to improve their physical and emotional health. Our day-to-day decisions, the way we feel and our ability to reach our full potential can be affected by the relationship that we have with our mind and body. Total Wellbeing has a range of options that can be tailored to meet your needs. These include support to: stop smoking, manage your weight, be more active, explore feelings of stress, anxiety and low mood or manage other emotional health conditions such as phobias or OCD You can access the free support from the Total Wellbeing Service by telephone, face to face, or post.

4 Support for family relationships Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) Telephone: Web: CAMHS provide outpatient assessments, support and treatment for emotional and behavioural difficulties in children and young people up to the age of 18 experiencing moderate to severe mental health problems. The service works to provide them with a greater knowledge of their condition and improve coping techniques. Children, adolescents and their families are referred to the service with many different kinds of problems. These may include unhappiness, loneliness, fears and anxieties, eating difficulties, traumatic experiences and relationship problems. Parents may have problems managing their children or may feel that their own difficulties are affecting their children. Referral would be through GP, school, education welfare officer or social worker. Flying Start Children s Centre Telephone: flyingstart@luton.gov.uk Web: Your local children s centre sites are there to help and support you and your family, as a whole they offer: Antenatal support; Bump to Babe, Pregnancy Club and Mellow Bumps Postnatal support; Take 5 Café, Child Health Clinics, Baby Massage, Starting Solids, Infant Feeding, Think Baby Parenting support; Nurturing Programme, The Incredible Years, Bite Size Parenting Workshops, Strengthening Families Strengthening Communities, Healthy Families: Right from the start with HENRY, Mellow Parenting Advice and Information, Safe at Home, Healthy Start Vitamins, Parental Couple Relationships Family Meeting Service Telephone: admin@lutonfamilymeeting.org Web: Sometimes, a family can have a few problems, which they need to sort out. A Family Meeting is a meeting where the family and people close to the family can get together to make plans to try to sort out these concerns or worries. To access the service, a referral will need to be made by a professional or social worker who has been working with your family.

5 Health Visitor Team Telephone: or Web: Health visitors are registered nurses with specialist qualifications who work with all parents to assess the support they need and develop appropriate programmes to help give the child the best possible start in life. This can include offering parenting support and advice on family health, new birth visits, physical and developmental checks, and providing families with support on issues such as post-natal depression. LGBT Links Luton Telephone: or Web: LGBT Links Luton provides information, advice, support and counselling for the LGBT community and their families to encourage and assist them in making positive changes and empowering them to promote healthy lifestyles and relationships. Stepping Stones (Luton) Telephone: Web: A charity dedicated to helping support women to transform the stumbling blocks of their lives into stepping stones creating happier, healthier lives for women, their children and families. We provide a safe, welcoming, non-judgemental environment for women living in Luton and, for specific projects, across Bedfordshire, who have suffered abuse, who are vulnerable due to substance misuse, offending, mental health conditions and/or are involved with Local Authority Children s Social Care.

6 Other organisations supporting family relationships Counselling Foundation Telephone: Web: Luton All Women s Centre Telephone: support@lawc.org.uk Web: MIND BLMK Telephone: lwc@mind-blmk.org.uk Web: The Luton Directory: directory.luton.gov.uk is an easy to use, searchable directory including information on childcare, activities and family support services. Useful websites Couple Support Family relationships Counselling providers

7 Support for separated co-parents Couple / Relationship Mediation Services Family Mediation Council Web: Family mediation is where an independent, professionally trained mediator helps you and your ex to work out an agreement about issues such as child contact arrangements, child maintenance payments and your finances (for example, what to do with your house, savings, pension, debts). The Family Mediation Council (FMC) is made up of national family mediation organisations in England and Wales. Approx. six Family Mediators are based within a five mile radius of Luton Town Hall. The first meeting with a mediator is often called a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM). Whether it s called a MIAM or a first meeting, it will cover the same things. The first meeting with a mediator gives you the chance to find out how mediation works. Mediators are trained to work out with you whether mediation is right for you and your family. They will also discuss how many sessions you may need, how much they would cost, and explain whether you might get legal aid to pay for mediation. Other family mediation services can be found on the Luton Directory Bold Moves Family Programmes familyservices@boldmoves.co.uk Web: We support parents by developing post separation parenting plans used to support compromise and family court final hearings. By listening carefully to each parents point of view, we support the identified points of agreement and compromise where mediation has not been successful, or cannot be attended due to partner violence. We develop clear and professional working relationships with parents, supporting them to negotiate the complex family court process. We provide emotional support, professional and experienced advice on separation, safeguarding and risk issues where necessary. Online self-help and e-learning Sorting out separation easy to use web app which features info/links on separation issues: Splitting up? Put Kids First is a free on-line parenting plan and skills development course for separating parents: this is an interactive self-help website that provides resources and practical tools to help improve couple relationships, including the How to argue better online course.

8 Other sources of support Child Contact Centres Child contact centres are there for the child or children to maintain or re-establish contact with parents and carers. Supported contact: Keeps children in touch with parents if trust has broken down or communication is difficult. Supervised contact: The centre ensures the physical safety and emotional well-being of children in a oneto-one observed setting. Handovers: The centre is used for a short period as a drop off / pick up point. Again, parents do not have to meet. Details of local centres can be found on the National Association of Child Contact Centres website Charges should be checked directly with providers some services are free, most are at low costs. The Manor Contact Centre aims to provide a friendly, safe and welcoming environment where quality supervised contacts can take place. For more information please call or manorprivatereferrals@luton.gov.uk. To make a self-referral, you will need to complete the form available by visiting and searching for Manor Contact Centre. Useful websites National mediation Divorce Legal advice advisory-bodies/fjc/