The Problem Of Prayer & Meditation. Premise. Premise 10/9/2014. Mic Hunter, Psy.D.

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1 The Problem Of Prayer & Meditation Mic Hunter, Psy.D. Premise It is common for people seeking treatment for alcohol & other drug problems (and other compulsive behaviors) to be referred to 12 Step-based fellowships Premise Those of us who refer clients to these programs have an ethical responsibility to do what we can to assist clients in making use of the resources available in these fellowships 1

2 Premise One of the common barriers to utilizing these fellowships are the spiritual aspects inherent in the 12 Step program Examples We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Alcoholics Anonymous p. 85 If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit drinking entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. p. 44 Motivational Enhancement Therapy Designed to help clients discover & act on their personal reasons for making change 2

3 Motivational Enhancement Therapy The focus of change can be WHETHER to stay sober, as well as HOW to obtain abstinence In other words A client may be highly motivated to stay sober, but highly resistance to any use of spirituality as a method for obtaining that goal. Six Stages Of Motivational Enhancement Therapy First Stage Pre-contemplation Not considering a behavior change A.K.A. denial 3

4 Six Stages Of Motivational Enhancement Therapy Stage Two Contemplation Considering a change A.K.A. bargaining Beginnings of Steps 1-3 First Step Contemplation Within Contemplation Stage Do I really have a problem? If so, it is my drug use? Maybe it is not my LIFE that is unmanageable, but my WIFE that is the problem Contemplation Give it to me straight doc, how long have I got; how long can I ignore your advice before I actually have to do something? 4

5 Contemplation Within Contemplation Stage Second Step Even if I accept that I have a problem, is there any help for it? And if there is, does it have to have a spiritual aspect to it? Contemplation Within Contemplation Stage Step Three What does it mean to turn one s will & life over to the care of God? What s the least amount I have to change? Six Stages Of Motivational Enhancement Therapy Stage Three Preparation I m thinking about I plan to I want I m gonna 5

6 Preparation Stage Focus on the Step(s) prior to the one that the client is resisting. Costs What I have to do that I want to avoid & what I can t do that I want to do. Payoffs What I get to do that I want to do, & what I get to avoid. Preparation Stage Costs & Payoffs for staying the same Costs & Payoffs for changing Six Stages Of Motivational Enhancement Therapy Stage Four Action Having made our personal inventory This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery Alcoholics Anonymous, 1976, p. 72 6

7 Six Stages Of Motivational Enhancement Therapy Stage Four Action Attending meetings Getting a sponsor Reading Prayer & meditation Six Stages Of Motivational Enhancement Therapy Stage Five Maintaining the change Pink cloud Treatment high Stage Six Six Stages Of Motivational Enhancement Therapy Coping with relapse Loss of faith 7

8 Have you heard this? Emotional/Psychological development stops, or is at least stunted, at the age at which a person begins her/his addiction. Have you heard this? Spiritual development stops, or is at least stunted, at the age at which a person begins her/his addiction. Spiritual Development The client s stage of faith will affect how he/she views prayer The treatment provider s stage of faith will affect how he/she views prayer 8

9 Therefore it is in the best interest of the treatment provider & the client For the treatment provider to be able to identity the client s stage, and to grasp his/her own stage of faith Goldman's Four Stages Magical 0-9 years of age Egocentric Magic/Supernatural thinking (God could, if God wanted to) Reciprocal fairness (if I, then you) Rule focused Not getting the desire outcome is viewed as punishment Later changes to asking for others to be helped 9

10 Goldman's Four Stages Semi-magical 9-12 years Increase in altruistic prayer, introspection and self-improvement Unanswered prayers are due to them being selfish Woody Allen, American comedian If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. Goldman's Four Stages Conceptual 12 years Focus on God changing people rather than making things happen Unanswered prayers are likely due to them being inappropriate 10

11 Country Singer Garth Brooks Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs that just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter God answers all our prayers. Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the answer is, You ve got to be kidding. Goldman's Four Stages 4) Continued Conceptual Later adolescence & adulthood Knowing God through presence Abstract image (Like a father) Don't try to figure out God or prayer Accept mystery/unknowing If you understand your God, then your God is too small 11

12 Prayer PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. Ambrose Bierce, The Devil s Dictionary Defining Prayer "To pray is to think about the meaning of life." Ludwig Wittgenstein "prayer, humble entreaty addressed to God; any set formula for praying to God; any spiritual communion with God." Webster's Dictionary Now, what of prayer? Prayer is the raising of the heart and mind to God Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions page

13 Practice It has been well said that almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough. Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions, p. 97 Step 7 Humbly asked Him [God] to remove our shortcomings. One form of prayer is asking for guidance. Horizontal Spirituality Group Of Drunks Prayer would consist of speaking and listening to your sponsor and other members of the fellowship. When alone imagining how they would speak to you, and desire for you. 13

14 Tradition Two For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority-a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions page 132 conscience 1. the internal sense of what is right and wrong that governs somebody s thoughts and actions, urging him or her to do right rather than wrong 2. behavior in compliance with what your internal sense of right and wrong tells you is right 3. a shared concern for moral issues Encarta World English Dictionary A.K.A. Acting As If The prayer of the agnostic: O God, if there is a God, save my soul, if I have a soul. Ernest Renan ( ) 14

15 Whose Will? Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God Step 12 praying only for knowledge of God s will Care of God I have a sense that God is unfair and preferentially punishes his weak, his dumb, his fat, his lazy. I believe he takes more pleasure in his perfect creatures, and cheers them on like a brainless dad as they run roughshod over the rest of us. He gives us a need for love, and no way to get any. He gives us a desire to be liked, and personal attributes that make us utterly unlikable. Having placed his flawed and needy children in a world of exacting specifications, he deducts the difference between what we have and what we need from out hearts and our self-esteem and our mental health. Common Barriers To Spirituality Belief that spirituality requires adherence to a specific religion 15

16 Common Barriers To Spirituality Negative experiences with religion/clergy Books On Spirituality By Mic Hunter Conscious Contact: The 12 Steps As Prayer Back To The Source: The Spiritual Principles Of Jesus Available at Amazon.com Available as print books & as e-books 16