Hoag CARES Program A TIME OF LEARNING, GROWING AND ACCEPTING CHANGE.
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1 Hoag CARES Program A TIME OF LEARNING, GROWING AND ACCEPTING CHANGE.
2 It has been several months since your loss and we recognize that this has been a time of learning, growing and accepting change. This can also be a time to record your personal experience and its accompanying memories. HELPING YOURSELF HEAL There are positive steps you can take to help yourself cope and to heal Don t run away from your feelings. Spend time with those that bring you comfort. Tell people what you want. Find ways to deal with stress. Set small goals for yourself. Do something you enjoy. Get professional help if you need it. DO I NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP? You may need professional help if it s been six months since the death and you Are still extremely angry. Don t want to socialize. Wonder if you re ever going to get over this.
3 COMPLICATED GRIEF Complicated Grief is indicated when the bereaved person is unable to continue to work through their grief and begin to experience the healing process. The following is a list of some of the symptoms associated with complicated grief. 1. Grief feels like a lifestyle and grieving behaviors are repeated over and over without relief. 2. Feelings of overly intense or inappropriate anger are frequently present. 3. Disturbance of sleep and appetite, which become chronic. 4. Chronic flatness or lack of emotions (pleasant or painful). 5. Chronic lack of grieving emotions (strong denial) while experiencing excessive positive emotions. 6. Over activity, restlessness, or need to always be occupied. 7. Chronic sexual dysfunction that wasn t a previous problem. 8. Chronic inability to function practically and effectively in areas of self care. 9. Excessive illness or preoccupation with physical complaints. 10. Withdrawing from life. Refusing to recommit, reorient, or reconstruct life. 11. Fear of intimacy. Refusal to commit to anyone or anything. 12. Preoccupation with guilt and self reproach. 13. Self-destruction or self-defeating behaviors (fighting, substance abuse, dangerous acts). Complicated grieving can prolong your time of bereavement and prevent you from working through your loss. If you feel you are experiencing any of the above, we encourage you to contact us and request assistance in appropriate referrals for evaluating your situation. You may benefit from the assistance of our bereavement staff or a community professional.
4 TIPS FOR SURVIVING YOUR GRIEF 1. Heal at your own pace and in your own way. Never compare yourself to another grieving person. Each of us are our own time clock. Don t let others tell you how you should feel. 2. It s ok to feel depressed. Crying is cleansing a wonderful release. Be with your feelings for awhile. 3. Anger is a part of grieving. Nearly everyone gets angry when they lose someone or something very dear to them. Channel your anger wisely, and it will subside as you heal. For example: hit a pillow, kick a bed, yell and scream when you re alone, exercise or play a physical game, hit a punching bag, play the piano. 4. Guard your nutrition. Good eating habits help the healing process. 5. Realize your vulnerability. You re resistance will be low for awhile. Invite help only from those who are trustworthy. 6. Beware of rebound. There s a hole in your life. Be careful about rushing to fill it. 7. Avoid addictive activities. Alcohol, drugs, food, diversions can all momentarily help us escape from pain, but these crutches never help us heal. 8. You will grow. As you work through your sadness, you will learn that you can survive. The pain eventually lessens- healing does occur. 9. Begin gradually to look to the future. Slowly experiment with new lifestyles new ways of filling your day. You may even discover that some of them are fun. 10. Give yourself praise. You are becoming a richer, deeper, wiser person. 11. Be open. Give yourself opportunities to meet new people, places, ideas, experiences, but don t forget to build on the past. Don t throw out what has been worthwhile to you. Small changes are best at first.
5 TIPS FOR SURVIVING YOUR GRIEF - continued 12. Begin to give of yourself. Giving can bring you the greatest joy. It is healing. 13. Expect relapses. There will always be certain things that trigger sadness again. 14. Alone does not mean lonely. Solitude can be creative, restful, even fun. You can learn to enjoy it. 15. Learn to appreciate your freedom. You are now in control. Make the most of your choices, you can even learn to take risks. 16. Celebrate your survival! Becoming your own best friend isn t always easy, but the rewards are worth it. Loving this new you allows you the freedom to be independent and make wise choices for yourself.
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