Live, Laugh and Find Joy Again

Transcription

1 Live, Laugh and Find Joy Again Understanding Loss Janet Mathis Manager, Information Services Johnson County Community College

2 What s the first word you think of when I say the word grief? Loss? Sadness? Anguish? Pain? Loneliness? and, CHANGE? Change is Inevitable --- Growth is Optional - Walt Disney

3 Let s First Consider Change We face Changes in life perpetually; nothing remains the same Change signals Loss of control; entry into the unknown When Changes in life are perceived as Loss; Grief is the natural response Change signals loss of control and entry into the unknown. -Carolyn Myss, author

4 Definition of Loss Loss is said to have occurred when something or someone can no longer be seen, felt, heard, known or experienced Give me some examples of Loss?

5 Common Changes Experienced in Relationships Routines Responsibilities Employment & Finances Faith & Spirituality Priorities & Goals Activities & Interests

6 Understanding Loss Understanding Loss is a vital aspect of healing and moving forward

7 Definitions Continued GRIEF is the process of psychological, social & somatic reactions to the perception of loss. MOURNING is the cultural response to grief. BEREAVEMENT is the state of having suffered a loss. GRIEF JOURNEY is the process of dealing with grief, requiring the expenditure of physical, emotional and spiritual energy.

8 Grief Happens Grief is not one emotion and no one emotion is appropriate for the grieving. People react to loss in different ways at different times and in different situations. As in physical pain, you feel wounded, and the pain is consuming. Grieving process takes time, and the healing usually happens gradually

9 Grief is an Emotional Mental Social Spiritual Physical response to loss and change

10 Myths About Grief MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it. FACT: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

11 Myths About Grief MYTH: It s important to be be strong in the face of loss. FACT: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn t mean you are weak. You don t need to protect your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

12 Myths About Grief MYTH: If you don t cry, it means you aren t sorry about the loss. FACT: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it s not the only one. Those who don t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

13 Myths About Grief MYTH: Grief should last about a year. FACT: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.

14 Grief Theories Most Familiar & Popularized Theory is the Kubler-Ross Theory known as the 5- Stages Grief Cycle Theory Freud s Model of Bereavement Bowlby s Attachment Theory

15 5-Stages of Grief Cycle Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance NO, this can t be happening to me Why me? God, why did you let this happen? If only I had just gone home, then this wouldn t of happpened. I m too sad to do anything I m at peace with what happened

16 Physical Issues Absenteeism, lack of motivation, change in appetite, sleeping problems, shortness of breath, physical distress Expressions of Workplace Grief Mental Issues Lack of concentrate, errors, confusion, accidents Emotional Issues Mood swings, short fuse, guilt, sadness Social Issues Isolation, withdrawn, lack of initiative, lack of interest, overly sensitive Spiritual Issues Questions, doubt, anger

17 Grief is a Roller Coaster

18 5 Things You Can Do for Grieving Co-Workers Acknowledge their Loss Offer Outside Counseling Allow for the Grieving Process Communicate Next Steps to the Employee s Workgroup Be Sensitive to the Employee (or their Family)

19 Manage YOUR Stress Avoid scheduling conflicts Be aware of your limits Ask for help Prioritize your tasks Break down large tasks /problems into smaller steps Concentrate your efforts on things you can control

20 Getting Help Employer Resources Check if your Employer offers Employee Assistance Provider Coverage (for example, professional counseling services, legal or financial services guidance) Bereavement policy Get advice before returning to work Community Resources Hospice Counselor Many Churches* have their own Therapist/ Counselor on staff Minister, Pastor, Priest Web Resources GriefNet ( BabySteps ( Webhealing (

21 Loss is an inevitable part of everyday life. Understanding how to better cope with the small losses prepares us to effectively grieve for major ones.

22 Finding Support After Loss Turn to family members & friends Draw comfort from your faith Join a support group Get help from a grief counselor / therapist Wherever the support comes from, accept it & do not grieve alone. Connecting with your faith and others will help you heal.

23 Coping with Loss Talk with others Allow yourself to experience the pain of loss Find creative outlets Maintain a routine Give yourself a break from grieving Engage in physical activity Take care of yourself and, Be Patient!

24 Helping Yourself Moving Forward Attending support groups or professional counseling Practice relaxation techniques Journaling Eating well Exercising Getting enough rest Schedule social activities or learn a new hobby

25 Live and Laugh Shift the focus away from sadness Distract yourself Find delight in the beautiful days Savor your memories Give back Practice gratitude

26 Suffering forces us to change. We don't like change and most of the time we fear it and fight it. We like to remain in emotionally familiar places even through sometimes those places are not healthy for us. On occasion, the suffering is so great that we have to give up. We surrender the old and begin anew. Often it is the pain we experience that leads us, not only to a different life, but a richer and more rewarding one. - Dennis Wholey STOP What do you want to leave behind? START What do you need to add? CONTINUE What do you want to take from your old life into your new life?

27 Finding Joy Again Choose to Live a Life of Joy Share Love and Hope with Others Help and Bless Others in Need JOY is a Journey of Opportunity to see within Yourself It is to see from the inside-out and allowing your light to shine, so that you can help others find their joy.