FEARBUSTER EXERCISES

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2 FEARBUSTER EXERCISES Welcome to Module Five: Wheel of Fear Video One: Wheel of Fear Review Fearbuster Exercise: Fear Drawing Video 5.1

3 Fearbuster Exercise: Integration Questions Video 5.1 Please write down your description of the Wheel of Fear. As you read the description of the Wheel of Fear, what insights did you experience? What disempowering thoughts do you have regarding your ability to identify your Wheel of Fear? What about empowering thoughts? How could identifying your personalized components of your Wheel of Fear impact your life?

4 Welcome to Module Five: Wheel of Fear Video Two: Fear Symptoms Fearbuster Exercise: Integration Questions Video 5.2 Name your top three fear symptoms: What have you said about yourself regarding your fear symptoms? How do your fear symptoms impact your life? What are the costs? How have you used fear symptoms to benefit you? How could your life change if you could see other people s fear symptoms for what they are: that the person is in fear? Name one current situation where a fear symptom is evident.

5 Welcome to Module Five: Wheel of Fear Video Three: Triggers Fearbuster Exercise: Wheel of Fear Compenents-Trigger Exercise Video 5.3 Triggers Top 5 Top 3 #1 Selfish Stupid Weak Incompetent Ordinary a Loser a Fake Lazy Invisible Rejected

6 Fearbuster Exercise: Language of Triggers Video 5.3 Read the statements below and indicate a percentage of how much you identify with each. For example, I m 50% like this. or I m 2% like this. or Oh, wow, this is me 100%. 1. Extremely competitive, high achiever, yet rarely satisfied with your results. Want to be recognized as the best at whatever they do. Must be first in line. Rarely stick with one thing for long, always moving on to the next thing. Impatient with others, especially those who don t move as fast as you do. Don t like to risk failure, so may not jump unless you are going to be successful at it and that is not guaranteed. 2. Sudden changes in plans are hard to handle. Often repress your feelings and then blow up. Opinionated but not always clear what you want, so you may change your mind to fit in with others. May have difficulty being around children who steal the spotlight. May hide in the corner or be the life of the party. Strong need to belong. May not feel seen, heard or loved. 3. Knowledge is really important to you. May say, You don t have to explain it to me. May be a person with multiple degrees. Not a particularly good listener. Values logic. May say, I know this. Before taking action, you need to know what s coming. Don t like being spontaneous. Being an expert is important to you. Judgmental of others, especially those who don t have answers or the information you need or want. 4. Create your own rules for life. May say, I m just trying to be honest with you. Have difficulty making decisions. Want your live to be deep and significant. Not good at small talk. Don t like pretending. Don t want to be seen as materialistic. May use the word real a lot. Always looking for the truth. Frequently say, Trust me. 5. Really good at details. Very important to do things right. Rule followers. Want to be seen as mature, capable and self-reliant. Perfectionists who beat themselves up a lot and have trouble making decisions. Highly accountable, especially to others. Make excellent employees. Analyze everything carefully before making a decision. May say, I can do it myself. 6. Lots of empathy for others. Very cautious. Hold yourself back. Make yourself small. Quiet. Take everything personally. Work hard to avoid annoying others. Constantly evaluating others to see who will accept you and who won t. Attracted to castaways. Want to take up as little space on the planet as possible. Do a lot of apologizing. May say, I m all right. I m fine. Don t worry about me. 7. Always the first to jump in to help others. Have a hard time saying no. Won t accept help. Rarely tell others what you need. Always want to do more for others than others do for you. Mostly quiet and rarely speak up. Easily annoyed by people who set boundaries. May say, Don t worry, I ll take care of this. Oh, I m sure it s my fault. No, no, it s my treat. You pick first. I ll take the last piece. 8. Overloaded, overworked, busy all the time. Tireless. Volunteer for everything. Never can seem to get enough done. Always multi-tasking. Love it when people say, You re amazing. I don t know how you do it. Not realistic in your time management. Hate to waste time. Incapable of doing nothing, even for a few minutes. 9. Like to be different or unique. Not very good at following through on tasks. Frequently talk about what you are going to do tomorrow or next week. Enjoy being visionaries and inspiring others. Always looking for your purpose. May be eccentric and flamboyant. Like to make their own rules. Can be excellent at sales. Ultra high standards. Love attention. 10. Like to be in control. Rarely talk about yourself. Can t cry. Frequently think something bad is going to happen. Don t like drama in relationships. At times may be aggressive. Little empathy for others problems. Hard time being vulnerable. Like to take charge. May spend a lot of time working out.

7 Welcome to Module Five: Wheel of Fear Video Four: Core Negative Feelings, Part 1 Fearbuster Exercise: Core Negative Feeling Video 5.4 Core Negative Feelings a Failure Unlovable a Disappointment Worthless Helpless Foolish Inadequate Insignificant an Outcast Damaged Goods Top 5 Top 3 #1

8 Welcome to Module Five: Wheel of Fear Video Five: Core Negative Feelings, Part 2 Fearbuster Exercise: Core Negative Feeling Video 5.5 Trigger 1 1) If the whole world thought I was (Trigger 1), then I would feel (like). 2) If, whose opinion matters to me, thought I was (Trigger 1), then I would feel (like). Trigger 2 1) If the whole world thought I was (Trigger 2), then I would feel (like). 2) If, whose opinion matters to me, thought I was (Trigger 2), then I would feel (like). Trigger 3 1) If the whole world thought I was (Trigger 3), then I would feel (like). 2) If, whose opinion matters to me, thought I was (Trigger 3), then I would feel (like). Trigger 4 1) If the whole world thought I was (Trigger 4), then I would feel (like). 2) If, whose opinion matters to me, thought I was (Trigger 4), then I would feel (like). Trigger 5 1) If the whole world thought I was (Trigger 5), then I would feel (like). 2) If, whose opinion matters to me, thought I was (Trigger 5), then I would feel (like). a Disappointment Helpless Foolish Inadequate Worthless a Failure Unlovable Insignificant an Outcast Damaged Goods

9 Welcome to Module Five: Wheel of Fear Video Six: CNF Exercise Fearbuster Exercise: Trigger and Core Negative Feeling Exercise Video 5.6 You would be devastated if people thought you were And then you would feel

10 Welcome to Module Five: Wheel of Fear Video Nine: Fear Responses Fearbuster Exercise: Fear Responses Video 5.9 Go down the following list and put a check mark ( ) next to everything you do to avoid experiencing your Trigger that thought that you couldn t bear to have others think about you. The extra spaces are for additional Fear Responses you would like to add. Here is a partial list of Fear Responses: Being a people pleaser Isolating Blaming Compromising Procrastination Workaholism Shopaholism Exercise addict Being promiscuous Apologizing for everything Making jokes about yourself Being manipulative Negative attitude Emotional drama junkie Self-pity Escapism Putting other people down Negative self-talk Comparing yourself to others High blood pressure Verbal abuse to yourself or others Making a preemptive strike on others Being irresponsible Overeating Perfectionism Giving up Sleeping too much Making excuses or complaining Intentional sleep deprivation Endless daydreaming Hating yourself Moving to get away from problems Taking everything personally Staying in an Internet chat room until 3 AM Surfing channels on the TV until all hours Doing drugs Bulimia or anorexia Kicking the cat/dog Shutting down Drinking too much Whining Arguing with anyone about anything Name-calling Gambling Lying and pretending Cheating Shoplifting Smoking Insomnia Suicidal thoughts or attempts Crying uncontrollably Physical abuse to yourself Constipation/diarrhea Headaches/migraines Stomachaches Heartburn

11 Fearbuster Exercise: Self-Destructive Behaviors Video 5.9 Go down the following list and place an X next to anything you do to stop the emotional pain when your Core Negative Feeling kicks in. These are your Self-Destructive Behaviors. The extra spaces are for additional Self-Destructive Behaviors that you would like to add to this list. Here is a partial list of Self-Destructive Behaviors: Overeating Hating yourself Drinking too much Isolating Blaming Cheating Shoplifting Escapism Being promiscuous Suicidal thoughts or attempts Shutting down Emotional drama junkie Self-pity Crying uncontrollably Physical abuse to yourself Gambling Compromising Shopaholism Negative attitude Sleeping too much Procrastination Apologizing for everything Giving up Doing drugs Bulimia or anorexia Kicking the cat/dog Moving to get away from problems Taking everything personally Making excuses or complaining Endless daydreaming Verbal abuse to yourself or others Making a preemptive strike or others Being irresponsible Staying in an Internet chat room until 3 am Surfing channels on the TV until all hours Being manipulative Making jokes about yourself Workaholism Being a people pleaser Whining Exercise addict Arguing with anyone about anything Name calling Lying and pretending Smoking Putting other people down Insomnia Negative self-talk Comparing yourself to others Constipation/diarrhea Headaches/migraines Stomachaches High blood pressure Perfectionism Intentional sleep deprivation Heartburn

12 Fearbuster Exercise: Your Wheel of Fear Video 5.9 Now you re ready to put your Wheel of Fear down on paper. Fill in the blanks: When I want to avoid having people think I m (your Trigger), I react by (Fear Responses,, go here) When that doesn t work and I end up feeling (your Core Negative Feeling), Then I (Self-Destructive Behaviors, X, go here)

13 Fearbuster Exercise: Wheel of Fear Journal Video 5.9 How could understanding your Wheel of Fear be of value to you? How could it impact your life? 1) Write down your Trigger word and Core Negative Feeling word 2) Define what each word means to you. Be as specific and thorough as possible. No dictionaries please. This is YOUR definition. Your Trigger: Please define your Trigger in your own words: Your Core Negative Feeling: Please define your Core Negative Feeling in your own words: You are not your Wheel of Fear. --Rhonda Britten