a. general knowledge you need to be aware of c. NOT rare, what you are experiencing, what you are going

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Dustin Cunningham
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1 I. PHOBIAS a. general knowledge you need to be aware of b. many people have phobias c. NOT rare, what you are experiencing, what you are going through, others have experience. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE d. from your point of view, there is pain, hurt, fear and anxiety e. from counseling point of view, a phobia is not a great thing. One step above sleepwalking f. phobias can be cured II. EXAGGERATED FEAR a. unreasonable fear, APA b. you know, and people tell you that your fears are unreasonable c. but knowing that doesn't help, you still have the fears III. NEED AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT FEAR IS a. some fears are good, healthy b. physical reaction c. prepare body for action, to protect self, choice of fight or flight d. heart--faster, breath shorter, stomach cramps, muscles contract, fists clench, brain releases adrenaline

2 e. seeing a snake f. not in a fearful situation--same reaction, respond same way c:\teach\agoraphob.wp -2- g. ANXIETY ATTACK h. "responding inappropriately to a non-threatening situation" i. encouraging news--phobia is learned behavior, if it has been learned, it can be unlearned IV. COMMON RESPONSE TO FEAR IS DEPRESSION a. range from vague feelings of uneasiness to sitting for hours and staring into space or to just never getting out of bed b. all of you have experienced this c. REMEMBER THIS, THINK ABOUT IT, AND APPLY IT TO YOUR LIFE: DEPRESSION IS ANGER d. is that difficult for you to see? e. is it even more difficult for you to admit? f. MAJOR SOURCE OF DEPRESSION IS ANGER this is a fact g. need to admit to yourself that you are angry h. in our society, in this area, anger is not nice, anger is bad; people who get angry are not nice, people who

3 get angry are bad i. way you were brought up, way you were taught, that word again: the way you were taught: a phobia is a learned behavior, what is learned can be unlearned j. if you repress anger, your body goes through same physical reactions, but since it's repressed, the tension has no way of being released: = ulcers, c:\teach\agoraphob.wp -3- colitis, insomnia, overweight k. need to release anger safely; physical activity, running, exercising, talking to someone l. THERE ARE POSITIVE WAYS OF RELEASING ANGER V. REPRESSED ANGER a. is self-destructive b. can not lash out and be angary with whomever you're angry with, because that's not nice, so you keep it inside and punish yourself c. 1) anger is bad, 2) I'm angry, 3) I'm bad d. to punish yourself, must get depressed, not enjoy yourself, after you've been punished long enough, then you'll permit yourself to enjoy life again

4 VI. SELF CONCEPT a. realistic idea of who you are b. not what you think you should be c. not what you think others want you to be d. just be who you are e. phobics lose track of who they really are, trying to please others, trying to fit in, to be liked, forgotten what it is they like f. to them, the grass is always greener on the other side g. along with admitting anger, must evaluate yourself 3 things that you enjoy doing, when was the last time you did them? c:\teach\agoraphob.wp -4- Who is your favorite actor? Your presidential candidate? Is he really yours or did you choose him so that someone else would have a good opinion of you? h. TAKE COURAGE to stand up for yourself i. TAKE COURAGE to be just who you are VII. WAYS TO CONQUER AGORAPHOBIA a. honest with yourself b. when you get depressed, sit down and examine events of

5 the day c. need discipline, total honesty d. at first, difficult, you've been hiding from it for so long e. WHENEVER YOU ARE DEPRESSED, YOU ARE ANGRY f. might seem to be some dumb thing, but it is OK to be angry g. recognize anger, depression will go away h. be able to identify anger quicker, deal with it without punishing self VIII. PROFILE OF AGORAPHOBIC a. Is sensitive/afraid of hurting others because he knows what it's like b. trying to work out his problems/doing it in ways that are self destructive IX. RESPONSIBILITY a. blame others for our feelings c: -5- b. taught that it's impolite to talk about ourselves c. "taught" again d. change your attitude, change your life

6 e. "I feel" not "he makes me", f. I statement g. your responsibility to deal with your feelings h. practice it i. need to be in touch with your feelings X. COMMUNICATION a. not aware of your own feelings because you've been denying them for so long b. may have developed relationships with people who do not express themselves either c. frustration don't know for sure how you feel about something, and you're not sure how someone else feels about it, = tension d. one of the problems that you face is people trying to manipulate you right now, you are vulnerable, you're an easy target, people canmanioulate you, get confused, don't know where you're coming from e. teach you how to recognize the games that people play f. help you to stand up for yourself g. they will stop playing games with you, go away and leave you alone

7 c:\teach\agoraphob.wp -6- h. or they'll learn that you want to develop meaningful relationships that are based on honesty and responsibility NAME TAGS Choose a meaningful color and tear this into a shape that represents you. Be able to tell us why. What kind of food are you? What piece of furniture? If you had the power to change one thing in your life style, what would it be and why? CAVE IN Tell us why you belong at the front of the line, either because of what you have not yet experienced in life or by what you have to contribute to the world. PATTERNS OF COMMUNICATION 1) blamer Sunday dinner, everyone decides to 2) placater go for a ride and to leave you alone. 3) computer Neighbor asks you to babysit because

8 4) distracter you're always home anyway. 5) levelling Gracefully refusing invitations. lecture 10/26/83 behavior disorder--not mental illness public does not know the distinction between the two first step--tell them they will not go crazy and there is no chance that they will neurotic behavior >psychotic behavior, is not progressive Greek words: agora and phobia, emphasis on phobia, public does not understand this word either, forget about the part that says it is illogical cluster of illogical fears: fear of losing control, fear of losing his security, fear of leaving his circle of security, fear of losing his mind, sense of impending doom, free floating anxiety 73% have panic attacks--fight or flight syndrome onset is ages behavior runs on a continuum of going out accompanied by others, uncomfortable in only a few places, extreme of not being able to

9 leave their bedrooms occurs 1 out of 100 people PANIC ATTACKS heart palpitations, heavy weight on chest, band around the head, dizzy, disorientation, depersonalization, night terrors, awake with a panic attack to them the attacks are real, and they feel handicapped because they cannot explain the feelings or terrors to others typical reaction to a p.a. is to run away, that reinforces the attack activity caused by adrenal gland, don't know it's short term lecture -2- Claire Weekes calls this the second fear desensitization--sounds good on paper we put the meaning to it--cannon depression big factor--educate them that it's anger, keep record of amount of time circle of security--terrap--area in which person feels secure, doesn't know that he determines the area at time, decreases Agoraphobia is misnamed, not a phobia, doesn't generalize, it's more erratic displacement of anger, lost ability to cope PROFILE

10 nice person, sacrificing himself, his image to please others easily manipulated, engaged in dependency relationships, will not speak up for himself when his feelings are hurt, stores anger and resentment, no clear self concept, developmentally, has not answered the question who am I, where am I going and how do I get there? weak ego structure, personality drifts into others preceded by a major life adjustment--first pregnancy, job loss, major move lacks ability to adjust THIS IS LEARNED home in which the parents were dominant, did not permit the children to be independent, or used negative methods of dealing with crises Instead of dealing with the problem, would walk away, or would become silent or pout or withdraw. lecture -3- Agoraphobics withdraw, handle it by denial can be taught how to cope, therapy is often teaching 2 women to one male has it, easier for the woman drug therapy behavior therapy recovery rate is 75-80% self help groups

11 something in common, share feelings, others understand, opportunity for family members, eliminates some of the isolation, provides support, phone numbers change to develop nonmanipulative relationships self fulfilling prophecy--six weeks to control the attacks difficulty in being diagnosed, usually a case of nerves Most of my clients come to me having diagnosed themselves. SIMPLE EFFECTIVE TREATMENT OF AGORAPHOBIA, HOPE AND HELP FOR YOUR NERVES, PEACE FROM NERVOUS SUFFERING pamphlets and tapes DEPENDENCY RELATIONSHIPS one person cannot exist, manage, or cope without the other, sees the other as providing all of his needs, his sense of security security becomes dependent on the moods of the other person, only feels safe, in some way they know that this is not true, become depressed developmentally, adolescent stage conflict between wanting to stand on his own, and being afraid of it, wanting someone to take care of him some people find their importance through having others need them children have learned that to be loved, they must behave in lecture -4- certain ways, they work for approval = sense of loss of control difficulty in expressing emotions

12 reflective listening, extreme sensitivity to hurting others, projection, poor communication skills, leads to loneliness and sense of isolation family members are usually a problem most of them enjoy the pattern and fight the efforts of the client to get better GUILT of feelings start using dirty words, get better poor self image values don't understand the difference between needs and wants can't make decisions, don't know what is right or wrong, see things as black and white, have a stern God Kohlberg's moral development good girl/bad girl stage idealistic, people on pedestals, God is magic, grants favors or punishes they want to know and please God, just don't know who He is 1 Cor 10:13 Good News, any test that comes to you is the kind that normally comes to all people STRESS specific set of chemical conditions within the body that reflects the body's attempt to make adjustments; four types, have the third, situation in which a person experiences an extreme sense

13 of failure, disappointment or defeat, usually involves loss of self esteem, highly reactive people, so have high stress level, lecture -5- meet minor disturbance as if they were a crisis, minor frustrations are major problems reduce stress through an avenue of escape that is consistent with the value structure nice people, no drugs, drinking, acting out, withdrawal train them to see alternative, to stand up for themselves anticipatory stress--what if adjust the environment to eliminate stress relaxation methods, if you can get them to sit still fear hierarchy socialization therapy--picnics, bowling parties cognitive processes--restructure thoughts

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