Developing Resilience. Hugh Russell.

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Rosalyn Caldwell
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1 Developing Resilience Hugh Russell

2 Objectives By the end of the workshop you will be able to - define resilience and explain it's link with emotional intelligence - identify and explain the 7 factors of resilience - explain the relationship between cognition and emotions - define and apply several NLP techniques/strategies to build resilience Apply techniques to - change negative thinking - create a mentally tough mindset - be outcome oriented - demonstrate resilience to others - help others through challenging times

3 What is RESILIENCE? What is resilience? What does it mean in your workplace? What does it mean in your life? If you were to develop strong and effective resilience strategies what outcome(s) ) would that get for you?

4 Resilience Our ability to remain healthy, energetic, at full capacity & in problem solving mode for as long as possible, and as long as necessary.

5 Keys to staying Resilient What is Resilience? Our ability to remain healthy, energetic, at full capacity & in problem solving mode for as long as possible and as long as necessary. Managing you thinking, your emotions and taking action are the keys.

6 The Key to Resilience The empirical research also demonstrates that More than genetics.. More than intelligence. More than any other factor.. It is our THINKING That determines who is resilient and who is not

7 How does your mind work?

8 Thinking and Resilience Our thinking creates reflexive beliefs about ourselves, our worlds, and our future. Our thinking provide us with ready-made and often inaccurate beliefs about the causes and implications of our problems. Thinking Styles interfere with accurate problem solving and therefore, resilience. Thinking Style becomes fixed around age 10, learned from primary carer.

9 Emotional State You experience pictures sounds feelings You talk to yourself PHYSIOLOGY You filter out lots of information PERFORMANCE I N F O R M A T I O N

10 Deletion, Distortion & Generalisation Deletions: Important information is left out and this limits thought and action. Distortions: Information is twisted in a way that limits choice and creates unnecessary problems Generalisations: One example is taken to represent a class in a way that narrows possibilities

11 Bias & attitude A bias is our internal, subjective perception of reality. An attitude is the way we habitually think under any given situation.

12 Thinking Biases Jumping to conclusions Tunnel vision Mind reading Personalising Externalising Over generalising

13 Conscious Mind Unconscious Mind How to talk to the unconscious mind so that it listens

14 Words for the unconscious mind Try But And Don t If When Yet

15 Try Statement A I I will try to be less aggressive Statement B I I will listen more and respond rather than react

16 Banish the word try from your vocabulary unless you actually want not to succeed

17 But, and Statement A You focussed well today but your concentration faded a little near the end Statement B You focussed well today and you need to maintain your concentration to the end Statement C Yes we did not have a clear focus today, but given the preparation

18 Use words like but, however only when you want to negate or minimise what has been said. Use and when you want to add to or agree with what has been said

19 Don t Statement A Don t t think negatively. Don t t be thinking that Statement B Tell me what you want specifically Statement c Don t t listen to what your critics are saying Statement D Ignore your critics. Remember how you presented last week

20 If, When, Yet If we can convince them When we go there we can convince them Use if when you want to imply doubt and use when when you want to imply certainty. I I can t t present very well.yet.yet Use yet to alter the time frame for someone.

21 Misconception that Practice makes Perfect Practice makes Permanent. Only Perfect Practice makes Perfect, and that can always happen in the mind & in the way we talk to ourselves.

22 The 7 Factors of Resilience Emotional Regulation Impulse Control Causal Analysis Self-Efficacy Realistic Optimism Empathy Reaching Out

23 7 Factors of Resilience Factor 1-1 Emotion Regulation Ability to control our emotional response to external events-to to stay calm under pressure. Factor 2-2 Impulse Control Ability to control expression behaviour to achieve goals (Delay gratification, Decisions, Dan Goleman 1970 marshmallow study)

24 How do you set your Emotional thermostat? Understanding your emotional map

25 Emotions are contagious The brain has an open loop system We are wired to pick up subtle clues from one another

26 The Heart The source of the heartbeat is within the heart. It generates 40 to 60 times more electrical amplitude than the brain. Its electrical signal can be measured anywhere on the body.

27 Cortical Facilitation/Inhibition Communication between heart & brain takes place constantly. Positive or negative emotions felt, impact the cortical process.

28 Develop emotional energy management

29 Quick coherence technique Shift attention to your heart & breathe from your heart. Recall a positive emotional experience. Associate into it. Re-experience experience it for 5 to 10 minutes. See, hear & feel it. Achieve coherence before making decisions

30 Factors of Resilience Factor 3-3 Causal Analysis Ability to identify the true causes of an adversity, essential because the cause we identify determine the solutions we attempt We develop a thinking style around explanations

31 ABC Model Adversity Any problem situation (big or small) Beliefs About what caused it About the implications Consequences Emotions and behaviour that result from Beliefs about adversity

32 B-C C Connections Real-world loss or loss of sense of self worth Future Threat Violation of Rights Violation of another's Rights Loss of Standing Sadness (Depression) Anxiety Anger Guilt Embarrassment

33 Resilience Skill: ABC A-Adversity, Adversity, B-Beliefs, B Beliefs, C-ConsequencesC Consequences-(feelings and behaviours) Track the effects of your beliefs on your emotions Understand the B-C B C connections. Become aware of your own! Help identify the ABC in other people!

34 Surface Beliefs On the surface of our awareness. Have a direct impact on how we feel & act. Cannot always account for the consequences.

35 Iceberg Beliefs At a deeper level. Often they are rules about how the world should operate. Can fuel surface beliefs. If consequences are out of proportion to the adversity.

36 Detecting iceberg beliefs Four questions Ask in any order Stop when the belief explains the consequence. What is the most upsetting part of that for me? What does that mean to me? What is the worst part of that for me? Assuming that it is true why is that so upsetting for me?

37 Evidence: What evidence do I have for thinking this? Alternatives: What Disputation alternative explanations could there be for this? Implications: What are the implications for me of holding onto this belief? Usefulness: How useful is it for me to hold onto this belief?

Pattern Interrupt: use the conscious mind to interrupt negative, looping thought patterns 1. Identify a pattern interrupt word or phrase as a stop signal. 2.

38 Pattern Interrupt: use the conscious mind to interrupt negative, looping thought patterns 1. Identify a pattern interrupt word or phrase as a stop signal. 2. You could ask yourself How useful is this thinking? then consciously put your attention on an outcome and action to move you forward. 3. Remember the conscious mind is the creator the unconscious mind is the follower

39 Check for thinking biases, use a pattern interrupt Check for thinking biases Distraction Disputation Surface and iceberg beliefs Belief Consequence Adversity

40 Factors of Resilience Factor 4-4 Self-Efficacy Our sense that we are effective in the world- a sense of mastery. An outcome orientation. Factor 5-5 Realistic Optimism Importance of the cognitive triad, negative view of one s s self, one s s world and one s s future.

41 Mindsets Be clear on what you want (outcome focused) do not be problem focused Have a cause mindset. Blaming external influences is counter productive

42 Building Mental pictures of Dissociated pictures: Looking at yourself as if in a movie Associated pictures: seeing out your eyes success

43 Practice Realistic Optimism Explanatory style. Is unique to you. Habitual & automatic. May not be accurate. There are 3 dimensions to it.

44 Explanatory style: optimism Personal Permanent Pervasive

45 Explanatory Thinking Style ME ALWAYS NOT ME NOT ALWAYS EVERYTHING NOT EVERYTHING

46 Factors of Resilience Factor 6-6 Empathy Ability to read others psychological and emotional states, key to developing empathy is understanding why others respond/react as they do. (B-C C connections) Factor 7-7 Reaching Out Helping, listening and rapport building. Seeking help from others.

48 Rapport Rapport is the process of building and sustaining a relationship of mutual trust, harmony and understanding. This happens through matching the accessing cues from words, eye movements and body language.

49 Establish Rapport by Matching & mirroring the other person Physical mirroring/body posture Voice Breathing Blinking Language

50 Reaching out: Questioning For this activity, you will need two problems which can be stated in a short sentence. For example: I always procrastinate I can t t get anything done. I feel unfit and ought to get more exercise

51 Reaching out: Questioning Person A states one of their problems. Person B responds by giving their very best advice, beginning with: If I were you I d I What you should do is Person A notices what happens to their thinking

52 Reaching out: Questioning Person A states one of their problems. Person B responds by asking: What would you like to have happen? What needs to happen for that to happen? And can that happen? How can you make that happen? Person A notices what happens to their thinking

53 5 Key Strategies 1. Always think in positive outcomes see, hear and feel what you want. Use both associated and disassociated pictures. 2. Take positive action and challenge yourself to stay at the cause side of events. 3. Check for thinking biases and dispute or distract yourself. Practice realistic optimism. 4. Develop heart coherence, practice mindfulness and soak yourself in experiencing positive emotions. 5. Nourish others by becoming a nourishing individual remembering you are emotionally contagious.

54 Thank you for coming

The following is a brief summary of the main points of the book.

The following is a brief summary of the main points of the book. In their book The Resilience Factor (Broadway Books 2002), Reivich and Shatte describe the characteristics, assumptions and thinking patterns of resilient people and show how you can develop these characteristics