Setting Personal Boundaries

Size: px
Start display at page:

Download "Setting Personal Boundaries"

Transcription

1 Setting Personal Boundaries From oprah.com Do you have a hard time standing up for yourself? Do you keep agreeing to do things that you really don t want to do? Do you tolerate rude comments or pushy people because you can t handle conflict? Do you take things personally? Lifestyle Makeover expert Cheryl Richardson says that creating stronger boundaries is the No. 1 way for most people to improve their lives. Here she shows you how to stand up for yourself! Set personal boundaries and free yourself from the disease to please with these three steps! Step One: Self-Awareness The first step in setting boundaries is self-awareness. For example, pay close attention to situations when you lose energy, feel a knot in your stomach, or want to get away. Identifying where you need more space, self-respect, energy, or personal power is the first step. Another way to identify boundaries is to complete these sentences with at least 10 examples. 1. People may not. Go through my personal belongings Criticize me Make comments about my weight Take their anger out on me Humiliate me in front of others Tell off-color jokes in my company Invade my personal space 2. I have a right to ask for. Privacy Peace and quiet in my own space More information before making a purchase What I think is best for me 3. To protect my time and energy. It s OK to. Turn the ringer off on the phone Take my time returning calls or s Change my mind

2 Bow out of a volunteer activity Cancel a commitment when I m not feeling well Reserve a place in my home that is off limits to others Step Two: Setting Your Boundaries Start with simple but firm boundaries with graceful or neutral tone. This will be uncomfortable at first but, as you take care of yourself, the personal power you gain will make it easier. 1. Be sure to have support in place before and after each conversation. 2. Vent any strong emotions with your partner before having your boundary conversation. 3. Use simple, direct language. Here are some examples: To set a boundary with an angry person: You may not yell at me. If you continue, I ll leave the room. To set a boundary with personal phone calls at work: I ve decided to take all personal calls in the evening in order to get my work done. I will need to call you later. To say no to extra commitments: Although this organization is important to me, I need to decline your request for volunteer help in order to honor my family s needs. To set a boundary with someone who is critical: It s not OK with me that you comment on my weight. I d like to ask you to stop. To buy yourself time when making tough decisions: I ll have to sleep on it; I do not want to make decisions right away. I want you to know that I won t be making a decision today. I d like to gather information. To set a boundary with a friend: I really appreciate that you are willing to help me. But I want to do this myself. To back out of a commitment: I know I agreed to head up our fundraising efforts but after reviewing my schedule, I now realize that I won t be able to give it my best attention. I ll need to bow out. I d like to help find a replacement by the end of next week. To set a boundary with an adult child who borrows money:

3 I won t be lending you money anymore. I love you and you need to take responsibility for yourself. 4. When setting boundaries, there is no need to defend, debate or over-explain yourself. Be firm, gracious and direct. When faced with resistance repeat your statement or request. 5. Back up your boundary with action. Stay strong. If you give in, you invite people to ignore your needs. Step Three: Strengthen Your Internal Boundaries One reason people take things personally is because they have weak internal boundaries. An internal boundary is like an invisible shield that prevents you from taking in a comment without checking it out first. For example, when someone accuses you of being arrogant, you stop and consider the statement before taking it in. When you use this internal shield (especially with difficult people like an ex-spouse or critical parent) it gives you time to ask yourself the following three questions: How much to this is true about me? How much of this is about the other person? What do I need to do (if anything to regain my personal power or stand up for myself? This last question is very important. Too often, people neglect to stand up for themselves by avoiding confrontation and weakening their internal shield, making it harder to set any boundaries. So, if someone offends you, it may be necessary to let them know in order to protect and strengthen your internal boundaries. Setting Functional Boundaries By Pla Meltody, healthyplace.com A boundary is a system of setting limits that enhances a person s ability to have a sense of self. Boundaries control the impact of reality on the self and other. The purpose of a boundary is to contain and protect reality. Reality is composed of four components: 1. The body or what we look like 2. Thinking or how we give meaning to incoming data 3. Feelings or our emotions 4. Behavior or what we do or do not do There are three components of boundaries. These are an external system, and a spiritual system. The External System protects the body and controls distance and touch. The Internal System protects thinking, feelings, and behavior. It acts like a block or filter and functions in conjunction with the External System. The Spiritual System occurs when two people are being intimate with one another and both are using their external and internal systems. Creation of Personal Boundaries Boundaries are created by: Visualization of External and Internal Systems Memorization of statements which create the External Physical Boundary and the Internal Boundary. The statement used to create the External Physical Boundary is: I have a right to control distance and touch with you, and you have the same right to do so with me.

4 The statement used to create the Internal Boundary is: I create what I think and feel and am in control of what I do or do not do. The same is true for you. We need only to note the impact of our reality on the other. If a person acts as a major offender, the person doing the offending is accountable for the impact and owes the other person and amends. External Physical Boundary You create the self-protective part of your external boundary when someone is approaching you. You do this by determining how closer you allow the person to stand to you and whether or not you are going to allow him/her to touch you. You create the other protective part of your external physical boundary when you physically approach another person. You do this by being respectful of an eighteen inch social distance between you and the other person and by not touching him/her without his/her permission. Boundary systems are invisible and symbolic fences that have three purposes Armor 1. To keep people from coming into our space and abusing us 2. To keep us from going into the space of others and abusing them 3. To give each of us a way to embody our sense of who we are Boundary systems have two parts: external and internal. Our external boundary allows us to choose our distance from other people and enables us to give or refuse permission to touch us. Our internal boundary protects our thinking, feelings, and behavior and keeps them functional. Personal Boundaries A boundary is a system of setting limits that enhances a person s agility to have a sense of self. Boundaries control the impact of reality on the self and others. The purpose of a boundary is to contain and protect reality. Reality is composed of four components: 1. The body or what we look like 2. Thinking or how we give meaning to incoming data 3. Feelings or our emotions 4. Behavior or what we do or do not do There are three components of boundaries: an external system, an internal system, and a spiritual system. The External System protects the body and controls distance and touch. The Internal System protects thinking, feelings, and behavior. It acts like a block or filter and works in conjunction with the External System. The Spiritual System occurs when two people are being intimate with one another and both are using their external and internal systems. Creation of Personal Boundaries Boundaries are created by: Visualization of External and Internal Systems Memorization of statements which create the External Physical Boundary, External Sexual Boundary, and Internal Boundary. The statement used to create the External Physical Boundary is: I have a right to control distance and non-sexual touch with you, and you have the same right to do so with me. The statement used to create the External Sexual Boundary is: I have a right to determine with whom, when, where, and how I am going to be sexual. You also have the same right to do so with me. The statement used to create the Internal Boundary is: I create what I think and feel and am in control of what I do or do not do. The same is true for you. We need only to communicate the impact of our reality on the other. If a person acts as a major offender, the person doing the offending is accountable for the impact and owes the other person an amends.

5 Three Guidelines to Boundary Procedures External Physical Boundary: You create the self-protective part of your external boundary when someone approaches you. You do this by determining how closer you allow the person to stand to you and whether or not you are going to allow him/her to touch you. You create the other protective part of your external physical boundary when you are physically approaching another person. You do this by being respectful of an 18-inch social distance between you and the other person, not touching him/her without his/her permission. External Sexual Boundary: You create the self-protective part of your external boundary when someone sexually approaches you. You do this by deciding for yourself if you want to be sexual with this person by asking yourself if it is in your best long-term interest to do so. If you agree to be sexual, you negotiate the issues regarding when, where, and how with him/her. You create the other protective part of your External Sexual Boundary when you are asking a person to be sexual with you. You do this by directly asking the person if he/she wants to be sexual with you and if the person agrees to be sexual by negotiating the issues of when, where, and how with him/her. Internal Boundary: You establish the self-protective part of your internal boundary when someone is talking. First, set your personal boundary. Then, say to yourself that the other person is responsible for creating what he/she is saying. You only take into yourself what is the truth for you. Block the rest by following this procedure: 1. If it s true, let the information in, embrace it, and allow your feelings about it. 2. If you determine the information is not true, allow it to bounce off your boundary. 3. If the data is questionable, gather data regarding the information. As you observe and analyze the information, you can determine if the information is true or not true. If it is true, filter the information and have feelings about it. If the information is not true, block it and remove it from your boundary. 1. True: Filter/Filter & Feel 2. Not True: Block/Block 3. Questionable: Filter/Block & Gather Data You establish the other protective part of your Internal Boundary when you verbally share yourself. As you share thoughts and feelings, you say to yourself, I have created what I am saying and feeling. I am the only one responsible for my thoughts and feelings. Physical Boundary Violations Standing too close to a person without his/her permission. Touching a person without his/her permission. Getting into a person s personal belongings and living space such as one s purse, wallet, mail and closet. Listening to a person s personal/telephone conversations without his/her permission. Not allowing a person to have privacy or violating a person s right to privacy. Exposing others to physical illness due to your having a contagious disease. Internal Boundary Violations Yelling and screaming Name calling Ridiculing a person Lying Breaking a commitment Patronizing a person Telling a person who he/she should be or what he/she should so

Changes to your behaviour

Changes to your behaviour Life after stroke Changes to your behaviour Together we can conquer stroke Because there is so much to deal with after a stroke, it s normal for your behaviour to change in some way. In this booklet we

More information

USING ASSERTIVENESS TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT SEX

USING ASSERTIVENESS TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT SEX Chapter 5: Sexual Health Exercise 1 USING ASSERTIVENESS TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT SEX Aggressive Passive Manipulative/manipulation Assertive Balance of power Sex Sexual coercion 1. To build learners communication

More information

ORIENTATION SAN FRANCISCO STOP SMOKING PROGRAM

ORIENTATION SAN FRANCISCO STOP SMOKING PROGRAM ORIENTATION SAN FRANCISCO STOP SMOKING PROGRAM PURPOSE To introduce the program, tell the participants what to expect, and set an overall positive tone for the series. AGENDA Item Time 0.1 Acknowledgement

More information

SIGNS of HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES in RELATIONSHIPS. Trusting no-one - trusting anyone - black & white thinking

SIGNS of HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES in RELATIONSHIPS. Trusting no-one - trusting anyone - black & white thinking Unhealthy Boundaries: SIGNS of HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES in RELATIONSHIPS Trusting no-one - trusting anyone - black & white thinking Telling all Talking at an intimate level on the first meeting Falling

More information

Family & Individual Support Program - Handbook

Family & Individual Support Program - Handbook Family & Individual Support Program - Handbook Welcome and Introduction to the Simon Fraser Society for Community Living Welcome to the Simon Fraser Society for Community Living (SFSCL). We have been serving

More information

AFSP SURVIVOR OUTREACH PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING HANDOUT

AFSP SURVIVOR OUTREACH PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING HANDOUT AFSP SURVIVOR OUTREACH PROGRAM VOLUNTEER TRAINING HANDOUT Goals of the AFSP Survivor Outreach Program Suggested Answers To Frequently Asked Questions on Visits Roadblocks to Communication During Visits

More information

How to empower your child against underage drinking

How to empower your child against underage drinking How to empower your child against underage drinking There is a high chance that your teenage child has or will have an encounter with alcohol either through experimenting or through someone else s drinking.

More information

A FRAMEWORK FOR EMPOWERMENT

A FRAMEWORK FOR EMPOWERMENT A FRAMEWORK FOR EMPOWERMENT What is an Empowered Person? Think about someone you know and admire. It could be a neighbor, a family member, someone you know from TV or the news. It can even be someone you

More information

THE SOCIALABILITY QUESTIONAIRE: AN INDEX OF SKILL

THE SOCIALABILITY QUESTIONAIRE: AN INDEX OF SKILL JONATHAN BERENT, A.C.S.W. & ASSOCIATES 17 Maple Drive Great Neck, New York 11021 800-248-2034 THE SOCIALABILITY QUESTIONAIRE: AN INDEX OF SKILL In working with the Socially Challenged, we found a need

More information

MANAGING RAGE A Summary Review

MANAGING RAGE A Summary Review MANAGING RAGE A Summary Review Based on material presented by Ellis Amdur - Note: Please refer to Powerpoint presentation for complete information. Part 1 Chaotic Rage To reassure, to calm the person down.

More information

Boundaries - What is Appropriate?

Boundaries - What is Appropriate? Boundaries - What is Appropriate? by Rick Reynolds Much is written on the topic of boundaries so I ve never weighed in on the topic. But after a discussion in the 911 Marriage question and answer session

More information

Ethical boundaries for Healthcare Professionals

Ethical boundaries for Healthcare Professionals Ethical boundaries for Healthcare Professionals Quote about boundaries A professional counselor is not the client s Wal-Mart. We may be the grocery side, but we can t offer every product they need. Unknown

More information

Learn how to more effectively communicate with others. This will be a fun and informative workshop! Sponsored by

Learn how to more effectively communicate with others. This will be a fun and informative workshop! Sponsored by Assertiveness Training Learn how to more effectively communicate with others. This will be a fun and informative workshop! Sponsored by Lack of Assertiveness Examples Allowing others to coerce you into

More information

Ingredients of Difficult Conversations

Ingredients of Difficult Conversations Ingredients of Difficult Conversations Differing Perceptions In most difficult conversations, there are different perceptions of the same reality. I think I'm right and the person with whom I disagree

More information

How to stop Someone who is ADDICTED ENABLING

How to stop Someone who is ADDICTED ENABLING stop ENABLING Table of Contents 2 Are You an Enabler? What if the steps you were taking to help a friend or family member through a problem or crisis were actually the very things hurting them most? And,

More information

Mastering Emotions. 1. Physiology

Mastering Emotions. 1. Physiology Mastering Emotions Emotional mastery is the key to living a life that you direct. The ability to have absolute direct power over what you feel in every single moment no matter what happens around you is

More information

My Creativity 1. Do I tend to do things in the accepted way or am I more creative? HDIFAT? 2. HDIF when my creative juices are flowing?

My Creativity 1. Do I tend to do things in the accepted way or am I more creative? HDIFAT? 2. HDIF when my creative juices are flowing? Dialogue Questions Choose the questions that most appropriately fit for your situation or relationship. Some questions can be adapted or modified depending on whether you are journaling as an individual

More information

Operation S.A.V.E Campus Edition

Operation S.A.V.E Campus Edition Operation S.A.V.E Campus Edition 1 Suicide Prevention Introduction Objectives: By participating in this training you will learn: The scope and importance of suicide prevention The negative impact of myths

More information

keep track of other information like warning discuss with your doctor, and numbers of signs for relapse, things you want to

keep track of other information like warning discuss with your doctor, and numbers of signs for relapse, things you want to Helping you set your brain free from psychosis. www.heretohelp.bc.ca This book was written by Sophia Kelly and the BC Schizophrenia Society, for the BC Partners for Mental Health and Addictions Information.

More information

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable.

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Step One We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) (2001, p. 59) Before beginning this exercise, please read Step One in Twelve Steps

More information

Conflict Management & Problem Solving

Conflict Management & Problem Solving Conflict Management & Problem Solving Ground Rules S L O W down the conversation Put your thinking on the table, not your finished thought Stay open to influence be willing to move your stake Listen in

More information

Step 2 Challenging negative thoughts "Weeding"

Step 2 Challenging negative thoughts Weeding Managing Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) Step 1 Identifying negative thoughts "ANTs" Step 2 Challenging negative thoughts "Weeding" Step 3 Planting positive thoughts 'Potting" Step1 Identifying Your

More information

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) (2001, p. 59)

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) (2001, p. 59) Step One 22 istockphoto.com/qingwa We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) (2001, p. 59) Before beginning this exercise, please

More information

Practices for Demonstrating Empathy in the Workplace

Practices for Demonstrating Empathy in the Workplace Practices for Demonstrating Empathy in the Workplace These practices have been developed to help leaders at all levels to develop and demonstrate empathy. These practices, when employed in combination,

More information

Problem Situation Form for Parents

Problem Situation Form for Parents Problem Situation Form for Parents Please complete a form for each situation you notice causes your child social anxiety. 1. WHAT WAS THE SITUATION? Please describe what happened. Provide enough information

More information

What s Happening to the One. I Love? Helping couples cope with breast cancer

What s Happening to the One. I Love? Helping couples cope with breast cancer What s Happening to the One I Love? Helping couples cope with breast cancer When someone you love has breast cancer, she or he may face physical and emotional struggles. It is important that you do all

More information

TAPPING METHODS. We will be using three main tapping methods in this program, Simple Tapping, SOS Tapping and Little Voice Tapping.

TAPPING METHODS. We will be using three main tapping methods in this program, Simple Tapping, SOS Tapping and Little Voice Tapping. TAPPING METHODS PAMELA BRUNER, Business Coach, EFT Expert We will be using three main tapping methods in this program, Simple Tapping, SOS Tapping and Little Voice Tapping. If you are very familiar with

More information

Choosing Life: Empowerment, Action, Results! CLEAR Menu Sessions. Substance Use Risk 2: What Are My External Drug and Alcohol Triggers?

Choosing Life: Empowerment, Action, Results! CLEAR Menu Sessions. Substance Use Risk 2: What Are My External Drug and Alcohol Triggers? Choosing Life: Empowerment, Action, Results! CLEAR Menu Sessions Substance Use Risk 2: What Are My External Drug and Alcohol Triggers? This page intentionally left blank. What Are My External Drug and

More information

The Bad News and the Good News: Sexual Abuse, Sexual Education, and Positive Sexuality

The Bad News and the Good News: Sexual Abuse, Sexual Education, and Positive Sexuality The Bad News and the Good News: Sexual Abuse, Sexual Education, and Positive Sexuality Christine White Legal Advocate for People with Developmental Disabilities April 7, 2011 No part of this slideshow

More information

Family & Individual Support Program - Handbook

Family & Individual Support Program - Handbook Family & Individual Support Program - Handbook Welcome to the Simon Fraser Society for Community Living (SFSCL). The SFSCL is an accredited not-for-profit, charitable organization that has been serving

More information

Step One for Gamblers

Step One for Gamblers Step One for Gamblers We admitted we were powerless over gambling that our lives had become unmanageable. Gamblers Anonymous (GA) (1989b, p. 38) Before beginning this exercise, please read Step One in

More information

Presented by: Jennifer Mitchell, MS, LPCC

Presented by: Jennifer Mitchell, MS, LPCC Presented by: Jennifer Mitchell, MS, LPCC 1. Identify if you are having problems maintaining professional boundaries with co-workers, children and/or their families 2. Identify if you are a compulsive

More information

Managing Anger. More Practice With Bugs and I STOP'D 3 Cs F. Preparation. Vocabulary adrenaline

Managing Anger. More Practice With Bugs and I STOP'D 3 Cs F. Preparation. Vocabulary adrenaline Managing Anger More Practice With Bugs and I STOP'D 3 Cs F I care about myself. F I care about my community. Help students to understand and invite them to state clearly: I have the right to care about

More information

Having suicidal thoughts?

Having suicidal thoughts? Having suicidal thoughts? Information for you, and for family, whänau, friends and support network Prepared by skylight for the New Zealand Guidelines Group CONTENTS Having Suicidal Thoughts? 1 Asking

More information

Angie s Marriage Column July 15, Dealing with a Mentally Abusive Alcoholic

Angie s Marriage Column July 15, Dealing with a Mentally Abusive Alcoholic Angie s Marriage Column July 15, 2009 Dealing with a Mentally Abusive Alcoholic Marriage Questions: I have a question - what if you're in a position where the only place your spouse can safely drink is

More information

Leadership Beyond Reason

Leadership Beyond Reason 1-Values... 2 2-Thoughts... 2 Cognitive Style... 2 Orientation to Reality... 2 Holding Opposing Thoughts... 2 Adapting to New Realities... 2 Intuition... 2 Creativity... 3 Cognitive Distortions... 3 Observe

More information

UIC Solutions Suite Webinar Series Transcript for how-to webinar on Action Planning for Prevention & Recovery Recorded by Jessica A.

UIC Solutions Suite Webinar Series Transcript for how-to webinar on Action Planning for Prevention & Recovery Recorded by Jessica A. Webinar Series Transcript for how-to webinar on Action Planning for Prevention & Recovery Recorded by Jessica A. Jonikas Slide 1 (announcer) Thank you for visiting the University of Illinois at Chicago

More information

Boundaries and Self-Awareness

Boundaries and Self-Awareness Boundaries and Self-Awareness If you were ill or incapacitated: Would you accept help from others? How would the help have to be offered in order for you to accept it? What kinds of help would you accept?

More information

Managing Your Emotions

Managing Your Emotions Managing Your Emotions I love to ask What s your story? (pause) You immediately had an answer to that question, right? HOW you responded in your mind is very telling. What I want to talk about in this

More information

Difficult Conversations

Difficult Conversations Difficult Conversations Corban Sanchez Academic Advisor NACADA Conference 2011 Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project Moving Toward a Learning Conversation Normal

More information

A Guide to Help You Reduce and Stop Using Tobacco

A Guide to Help You Reduce and Stop Using Tobacco Let s Talk Tobacco A Guide to Help You Reduce and Stop Using Tobacco Congratulations for taking this first step towards a healthier you! 1-866-710-QUIT (7848) albertaquits.ca It can be hard to stop using

More information

Self-Esteem Discussion Points

Self-Esteem Discussion Points Self-Esteem Discussion Points 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. What does self-esteem mean? liking yourself being proud of things you ve done knowing how you re special and unique knowing you re a good person knowing you

More information

SLAA MONDAY NIGHT SPEAKER WILLIMANTIC MEETING

SLAA MONDAY NIGHT SPEAKER WILLIMANTIC MEETING NOTE FOR THE CHAIRPERSON: Please ask people to read the following handouts as indicated in the format: The Preamble What is Sex and Love Addiction (optional) The SLAA Blessings from Addiction and Recovery

More information

SAMPLE STUDY. Chapter 3 Boundaries. Study 9. Understanding Boundaries. What are Boundaries? God and Boundaries

SAMPLE STUDY. Chapter 3 Boundaries. Study 9. Understanding Boundaries. What are Boundaries? God and Boundaries Study 9 Understanding Boundaries Having an awareness of boundaries and limits helps me discover who I am. Until I know who I am, it will be difficult for me to have healthy relationships, whether they

More information

Communication Tools. Paul Deslauriers

Communication Tools. Paul Deslauriers Communication Tools Paul Deslauriers Paul@911truth.org Building and networking grassroots groups relies on communication in many forms. Learning a few basic skills can greatly aide your success. For media

More information

TONYA LEWIS LEE IN CONVERSATION WITH FIVE INSPIRING WOMEN LIVING WITH HIV

TONYA LEWIS LEE IN CONVERSATION WITH FIVE INSPIRING WOMEN LIVING WITH HIV TONYA LEWIS LEE IN CONVERSATION WITH FIVE INSPIRING WOMEN LIVING WITH HIV DISCUSSION GUIDE WE We are all on a journey where we are experiencing different things and working through them. Gina, Lynnea,

More information

How to Approach Someone Having a Mental Health Challenge

How to Approach Someone Having a Mental Health Challenge How to Approach Someone Having a Mental Health Challenge Susan Allen-Samuel, M.S. NAMI NH Copyright NAMI NH, 2013. Do not use printed or web version of this document for other than personal use without

More information

Get Help Now. Call us INTERVENTION GUIDE

Get Help Now. Call us INTERVENTION GUIDE INTERVENTION GUIDE BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY TO RECOVERY 1-877-855-3470 1 WhiteSandsTreatment.com The Purpose of an Intervention The principle behind an intervention is that those with an addiction may never

More information

Lidia Smirnov Counselling

Lidia Smirnov Counselling What to expect from couple therapy The information in here will help you prepare for couples therapy, so you know what to expect and how to prepare to get the most out of our work together. I ve also included

More information

Question: I m worried my child is using illegal drugs, what should I do about it?

Question: I m worried my child is using illegal drugs, what should I do about it? Question: I m worried my child is using illegal drugs, what should I do about it? Answer: Many parents worry about whether their son or daughter is using illegal drugs and what they should do about it.

More information

COPING WITH A CANCER DIAGNOSIS. Tips for Dealing with What Comes Next

COPING WITH A CANCER DIAGNOSIS. Tips for Dealing with What Comes Next COPING WITH A CANCER DIAGNOSIS Tips for Dealing with What Comes Next Copyright 2012 Alliance Health Networks www.alliancehealth.com About half of all men and a third of all women in the United States will

More information

suicide Part of the Plainer Language Series

suicide Part of the Plainer Language Series Part of the Plainer Language Series www.heretohelp.bc.ca What is? Suicide means ending your own life. It is sometimes a way for people to escape pain or suffering. When someone ends their own life, we

More information

Stanford Youth Diabetes Coaches Program Instructor Guide Class #1: What is Diabetes? What is a Diabetes Coach? Sample

Stanford Youth Diabetes Coaches Program Instructor Guide Class #1: What is Diabetes? What is a Diabetes Coach? Sample Note to Instructors: YOU SHOULD HAVE ENOUGH COPIES OF THE QUIZ AND THE HOMEWORK TO PASS OUT TO EACH STUDENT. Be sure to use the NOTES view in Powerpoint for what to cover during class. It is important

More information

LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE: HELP GUIDE # 21 Helping students be Effective Learners Program LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE

LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE: HELP GUIDE # 21 Helping students be Effective Learners Program LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE To achieve your best academically you need to make the most of all feedback from any tests or examinations. You should read each point and highlight the key phrases in that point. Discuss

More information

AMIAS Training Option #4: Course Summary of Key Points and Test

AMIAS Training Option #4: Course Summary of Key Points and Test AMIAS Training Option #4: Course Summary of Key Points and Test What do we want Verbalize / recognize that at least one certified AMIAS (group sponsor) must be present in every Alateen meeting. They will

More information

Challenging Medical Communications. Dr Thiru Thirukkumaran Palliative Care Services Northwest Tasmania

Challenging Medical Communications. Dr Thiru Thirukkumaran Palliative Care Services Northwest Tasmania Challenging Medical Communications Dr Thiru Thirukkumaran Palliative Care Services Northwest Tasmania What are the common Challenging situations? Common Challenging situations Handling difficult questions

More information

The Recovery Journey after a PICU admission

The Recovery Journey after a PICU admission The Recovery Journey after a PICU admission A guide for families Introduction This booklet has been written for parents and young people who have experienced a Paediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) admission.

More information

We teach the tools that are indispensable to learning

We teach the tools that are indispensable to learning We teach the tools that are indispensable to learning We teach the tools that are indispensable to learning Some people who put things off have what seems like an internal, almost knee-jerk resistance

More information

NAMI In Our Own Voice Presenter Screening Tool

NAMI In Our Own Voice Presenter Screening Tool NAMI In Our Own Voice Presenter Screening Tool This tool has been developed by individuals who are currently involved in recruiting and evaluating consumers for NAMI programs. It is offered as a relevant

More information

Paul Figueroa. Washington Municipal Clerks Association ANNUAL CONFERENCE. Workplace Bullying: Solutions and Prevention. for

Paul Figueroa. Washington Municipal Clerks Association ANNUAL CONFERENCE. Workplace Bullying: Solutions and Prevention. for Workplace Bullying: Solutions and Prevention for Washington Municipal Clerks Association ANNUAL CONFERENCE Paul@PeaceEnforcement.com 206-650-5364 Peace Enforcement LLC Bullying described: Why people do

More information

Self-Direction: Relationship Management. Boundaries

Self-Direction: Relationship Management. Boundaries Self-Direction: Relationship Management Name: Boundaries Point of the Assignment: 1) To understand the concept of boundaries. 2) To see how the lack of boundaries negatively impacts time management. 3)

More information

WALES Personal and Social Education Curriculum Audit. Key Stage 2: SEAL Mapping to PSE outcomes

WALES Personal and Social Education Curriculum Audit. Key Stage 2: SEAL Mapping to PSE outcomes a WALES Personal and Social Education Curriculum Audit (based on the PSE Framework for 7 to 19 year olds in Wales, 2008) Key Stage 2: SEAL Mapping to PSE outcomes Personal and Social Education Audit; Qualifications

More information

D.A.R.E Presentation

D.A.R.E Presentation D.A.R.E Presentation 5B Introduction - Ahmed D.A.R.E. to me was a great learning experience for all ages young and old. D.A.R.E. is so great because people that teach it have been there and seen it happen.

More information

Common Measurement Framework: Possible Front Runner Measures

Common Measurement Framework: Possible Front Runner Measures Common Measurement Framework: Possible Front Runner Measures WORKING TOWARDS A COMMON OUTCOMES FRAMEWORK 1 WORKING TOWARDS A COMMON OUTCOMES FRAMEWORK 1) Socially significant improvement of the mental

More information

Bounce Back. Stronger! Being Emo-chic INFLUENCE INSPIRE IGNITE

Bounce Back. Stronger! Being Emo-chic INFLUENCE INSPIRE IGNITE INSPIRE IGNITE Bounce Back INFLUENCE Stronger! Being Emo-chic Managing your emotions can sometimes be harder than getting out of bed for school in the mornings. There s always the snooze button if you

More information

Stages of Change. Stages of Change

Stages of Change. Stages of Change 1 Motivation to get sober changes throughout the recovery process; one day choosing sobriety may seem easy and other days sobriety may be the farthest things from your mind. Today we will be discussing

More information

HANDOUTS FOR MODULE 7: TRAUMA TREATMENT. HANDOUT 55: COMMON REACTIONS CHECKLIST FOR KIDS (under 10 years)

HANDOUTS FOR MODULE 7: TRAUMA TREATMENT. HANDOUT 55: COMMON REACTIONS CHECKLIST FOR KIDS (under 10 years) HANDOUTS FOR MODULE 7: TRAUMA TREATMENT PARENT SESSION 1 HANDOUT 52: COMMON REACTIONS TO TRAUMA AND STRESS HANDOUT 53: MY CHILD S TRAUMA HISTORY CHILD SESSION 1 HANDOUT 54: PREVALENCE GRAPHICS HANDOUT

More information

The Wellbeing Course. Resource: Mental Skills. The Wellbeing Course was written by Professor Nick Titov and Dr Blake Dear

The Wellbeing Course. Resource: Mental Skills. The Wellbeing Course was written by Professor Nick Titov and Dr Blake Dear The Wellbeing Course Resource: Mental Skills The Wellbeing Course was written by Professor Nick Titov and Dr Blake Dear About Mental Skills This resource introduces three mental skills which people find

More information

Healing Trauma Evaluation Year 1 Findings

Healing Trauma Evaluation Year 1 Findings 2551 Galena Avenue #1774 Simi Valley, CA 93065 310-801-8996 Envisioning Justice Solutions, Inc. Determining the Programs, Policies, and Services Needed to Rebuild the Lives of Criminal Justice Involved

More information

Functional Analytic Psychotherapy Basic Principles. Clinically Relevant Behavior (CRB)

Functional Analytic Psychotherapy Basic Principles. Clinically Relevant Behavior (CRB) Functional Analytic Psychotherapy Basic Principles Clinically Relevant Behavior (CRB) CRB1: In-session instances of daily-life problems CRB2: In-session instances of daily-life improvements CRB3: Client

More information

PM-SB Study MI Webinar Series Engaging Using Motivational Interviewing (MI): A Practical Approach. Franze de la Calle Antoinette Schoenthaler

PM-SB Study MI Webinar Series Engaging Using Motivational Interviewing (MI): A Practical Approach. Franze de la Calle Antoinette Schoenthaler PM-SB Study MI Webinar Series Engaging Using Motivational Interviewing (MI): A Practical Approach Franze de la Calle Antoinette Schoenthaler Webinar Housekeeping Please keep your phone on mute when not

More information

Controlling Worries and Habits

Controlling Worries and Habits THINK GOOD FEEL GOOD Controlling Worries and Habits We often have obsessional thoughts that go round and round in our heads. Sometimes these thoughts keep happening and are about worrying things like germs,

More information

What family members have told us about having HIV at home

What family members have told us about having HIV at home Family Matters Changing Lives Chapter 6 P1 The great indoors the family living with HIV HIV has brought us closer together. The most important part of the day is around the kitchen table for dinner. We

More information

Healthy Coping. Learning You Have Diabetes. Stress. Type of Stress

Healthy Coping. Learning You Have Diabetes. Stress. Type of Stress Healthy Coping Learning You Have Diabetes Learning you have diabetes changes your life forever. You may feel scared, shocked, angry or overwhelmed. You may not want to believe it. These are normal reactions.

More information

handouts for women 1. Self-test for depression symptoms in pregnancy and postpartum Edinburgh postnatal depression scale (epds) 2

handouts for women 1. Self-test for depression symptoms in pregnancy and postpartum Edinburgh postnatal depression scale (epds) 2 handouts for women 1. Self-test for depression symptoms in pregnancy and postpartum Edinburgh postnatal depression scale (epds) 2 2. The Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy model of depression 4 3. Goal setting

More information

MAKING PEACE & MOVING ON

MAKING PEACE & MOVING ON JULY Week 2. Spiritual Practice MAKING PEACE & MOVING ON Transition Material and Tradition Elements for this Block. Ecclesiastes 3:1: There s a season for everything and a time for every matter under the

More information

FEELINGS? around you.

FEELINGS? around you. Staff Counseling Service ANGRY? INTRODUCTION Most people find it difficult at times to express and manage angry feelingss let s take a look at what causes people to become angry and how to respond to stressful

More information

Evolve Your Relationships Transform Your World

Evolve Your Relationships Transform Your World Evolve Your Relationships Transform Your World With Tom and Pam Altaffer AskandReceive.org LovingYourRelationships.com Simple Ask & Receive Practice Form Initial Statement: There is a part of my being

More information

Lee's Martial Arts. The Five Principles. Principle #1: Preventive Defense. Principle #2: Awareness

Lee's Martial Arts. The Five Principles. Principle #1: Preventive Defense. Principle #2: Awareness The Five Principles Principle #1: Preventive Defense Preventive Defense is to always respect. Do not offend anyone verbally or physically to cause a confrontation. Respect Rule 1: Watch what you think,

More information

Angie s Marriage Column February 11, I Want to Leave My Alcoholic Husband of 21-Years!

Angie s Marriage Column February 11, I Want to Leave My Alcoholic Husband of 21-Years! Angie s Marriage Column February 11, 2009 I Want to Leave My Alcoholic Husband of 21-Years! Marriage Question: Help! My husband of 21 years is an alcoholic. I've lived with it all these years and now my

More information

7. ENHANCING RETENTION AND CONVERSION OF RELUCTANCE

7. ENHANCING RETENTION AND CONVERSION OF RELUCTANCE 7. ENHANCING RETENTION AND CONVERSION OF RELUCTANCE 7.1 DEFINITIONS The following definitions should be used when discussing participation level in ENRICHD participants who are randomized to receive counseling.

More information

Chapter 1. Dysfunctional Behavioral Cycles

Chapter 1. Dysfunctional Behavioral Cycles Chapter 1. Dysfunctional Behavioral Cycles For most people, the things they do their behavior are predictable. We can pretty much guess what someone is going to do in a similar situation in the future

More information

Growing a Solid-Self-II Emotional Fusion Causes

Growing a Solid-Self-II Emotional Fusion Causes Growing a Solid-Self-II Emotional Fusion Causes 1 Thoughts from Last Week While Living Life from Inside Your Hula-Hoop this Past Week, did any Thought, Truth or Principle Stick in your Brain from Last

More information

DAY 2 RESULTS WORKSHOP 7 KEYS TO C HANGING A NYTHING IN Y OUR LIFE TODAY!

DAY 2 RESULTS WORKSHOP 7 KEYS TO C HANGING A NYTHING IN Y OUR LIFE TODAY! H DAY 2 RESULTS WORKSHOP 7 KEYS TO C HANGING A NYTHING IN Y OUR LIFE TODAY! appy, vibrant, successful people think and behave in certain ways, as do miserable and unfulfilled people. In other words, there

More information

Overview. Agenda Topics

Overview. Agenda Topics Overview Our topic today is Effective, Assertive Communication. We will cover the various modes of communication and learn to develop or enhance open interpersonal styles for the betterment of our personal

More information

Family Connections Validation Skills

Family Connections Validation Skills Page 24 Definition of validation What Is Validation? (Fruzzetti) Identifying and communicating your understanding of what the other person is saying or feeling in a CLEAR way Communicate what you understand

More information

L I S T E N. When I ask you to listen to me and you say I shouldn t feel that way,

L I S T E N. When I ask you to listen to me and you say I shouldn t feel that way, L I S T E N When I ask you to listen me and you start to give me advice, You have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you say I shouldn t feel that way, You are trampling on my feelings

More information

Grief After Suicide. Grief After Suicide. Things to Know about Suicide

Grief After Suicide. Grief After Suicide. Things to Know about Suicide Grief After Suicide Grief After Suicide Your grief after a suicide may feel quite different than the grief you have felt after other kinds of losses. Usually the death of someone from suicide has a much

More information

COPING WITH SCLERODERMA

COPING WITH SCLERODERMA COPING WITH SCLERODERMA Any chronic disease is life changing. Symptoms demand your attention. You have to adjust your schedule to accommodate medications, doctors appointments and treatments of various

More information

12 hours. Your body has eliminates all excess carbon monoxide and your blood oxygen levels become normal.

12 hours. Your body has eliminates all excess carbon monoxide and your blood oxygen levels become normal. Balance March 2018 What happens after the last cigarette? You know that smoking is one of the leading causes of preventable deaths but the process of quitting seems too daunting. After all, you ve tried

More information

UW MEDICINE PATIENT EDUCATION. Support for Care Partners. What should my family and friends know?

UW MEDICINE PATIENT EDUCATION. Support for Care Partners. What should my family and friends know? UW MEDICINE PATIENT EDUCATION Support for Care Partners What should my family and friends know? From Jane, former care partner: It s about keeping yourself sane and healthy. I had very little time for

More information

Mindfulness and Intimacy. Mindfulness, Self, and Others. Mindfulness Helps Us Get Along. The Western View of the Self

Mindfulness and Intimacy. Mindfulness, Self, and Others. Mindfulness Helps Us Get Along. The Western View of the Self Mindfulness and Intimacy For Lovers, Parents, & Therapists Ronald Siegel, Psy.D. Mindfulness Helps Us Get Along By seeing the other more clearly By not taking things personally By being present in relationships

More information

OUTPATIENT SERVICES PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES CONTRACT

OUTPATIENT SERVICES PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES CONTRACT OUTPATIENT SERVICES PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES CONTRACT (This is a detailed document. Please feel free to read at your leisure and discuss with Dr. Gard in subsequent sessions. It is a document to review over

More information

Working with Public Officials

Working with Public Officials Working with Public Officials Obtaining an official Resolution, Citation or Proclamation from a government body or official can bring a good bit of recognition to the work you're doing for Children's Grief

More information

MODEL FOR IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

MODEL FOR IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL SKILLS MODEL FOR IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL SKILLS Heather Bayne ATE 550: Interpersonal Skills in the Workplace Dr. Feon Smith January 25, 2015 The model for improving interpersonal skills follows a five-part sequence

More information

UNDERSTANDING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF A COLORECTAL CANCER DIAGNOSIS

UNDERSTANDING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF A COLORECTAL CANCER DIAGNOSIS UNDERSTANDING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF A COLORECTAL CANCER DIAGNOSIS Dr Claire Delduca, Macmillan Clinical Psychologist Velindre Cancer Centre, Cardiff Aims Understanding the impact of a diagnosis of

More information

9 INSTRUCTOR GUIDELINES

9 INSTRUCTOR GUIDELINES STAGE: Ready to Quit You are a clinician in a family practice group and are seeing 16-yearold Nicole Green, one of your existing patients. She has asthma and has come to the office today for her yearly

More information

Defense Mechanisms of the Addictive Personality

Defense Mechanisms of the Addictive Personality Defense Mechanisms of the Addictive Personality Addicts have an accounting system that justifies why they don t have a problem. The alcohol/addict will spend the counseling hour telling you why they don

More information

Activities for Someone in Early in Dementia

Activities for Someone in Early in Dementia Diamonds Still Clear Sharp - Can Cut Hard - Rigid - Inflexible Many Facets Can Really Shine Activities for Someone in Early in Dementia Diamond Characteristics Know Who s in Charge Respect Authority Can

More information

Loving-Kindness Meditation

Loving-Kindness Meditation Loving-Kindness Meditation Compassion Meditation 10-15 min. Client Yes Loving-kindness means tender and benevolent affection. It is the wish that all beings (you and others) may be happy and that good

More information