Next Level Practitioner

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1 Next Level Practitioner - Emotional Triggers Week 131, Day 6 - Focus on Application - Transcript - pg. 1 Next Level Practitioner Week 131: Working with Trauma-Based Emotional Triggers Day 6: Focus on Application with Joan Borysenko, PhD; Rick Hanson, PhD; and Ruth Buczynski, PhD

2 Next Level Practitioner - Emotional Triggers Week 131, Day 6 - Focus on Application - Transcript - pg. 2 Week 131, Day 6: Joan Borysenko, PhD and Rick Hanson, PhD Focus on Application Table of Contents (click to go to a page) Exploring the Fundamentals of Working with Emotional Triggers... 3 Body-Based Tools for When Clients Are Triggered... 4 How Clients Can Use Their Sense of Smell to Help Calm Themselves... 5 How to Lay the Foundation for Working with Couples Who Are Triggered By One Another... 6 Two Simple Techniques to Help Clients Who Struggle to Connect with Their Feelings... 7

3 Next Level Practitioner - Emotional Triggers Week 131, Day 6 - Focus on Application - Transcript - pg. 3 Week 131, Day 6: Joan Borysenko, PhD and Rick Hanson, PhD Focus on Application Dr. Buczynski: Hello everyone. We re back. This is the part of the week where we re going to focus on your clients and how to apply the ideas this week to your clients in your work. I m joined, as I always am, by my two good buddies, Drs. Rick Hanson and Joan Borysenko. Let s jump right in and start with what stood out to you this week? We ll start with you, Rick, and then we ll go to you, Joan. Exploring the Fundamentals of Working with Emotional Triggers The world lands on our state of being at the time. Dr. Hanson: Steve Porges said it really explicitly, and it was also implicit in everyone else: it s this idea that the world lands on our state of being at the time, our resting state, our baseline. Obviously it becomes really important, over time, to tune that resting state, that home base, so that it spans a greater window of tolerance, as it were, and also is more able to sustain what I call an unshakable core of resilient happiness, no matter how much the world is jiggling us. Our resting state is like a platform, and it s tilted, so when the world lands on us it s going to slide one way or another. So it s really important to get that baseline more and more robust and stable, with feelings of wellbeing in it. It seems like such an obvious point, and yet a lot of us could be really served by spending at least ten minutes a day nourishing the visceral core of the body as well as working on positive emotions and other major aspects that support our How many minutes a day do own fundamental grounded being. I m startled often by asking people, How many minutes a day do you spend nurturing your own fundamental state of being? and they ll just stop right there and realize they don t even give it a minute a day. Yet if we were to give it ten minutes a day, it would really, really make a huge difference for people. That s probably the main thing that stood out for me this week. Dr. Buczynski: Thank you. How about you, Joanie what stood out to you? you spend nurturing your own fundamental state of being? Dr. Borysenko: I was also struck by Steve Porges. I don t know how many of your listeners really know his work on polyvagal theory. I thought he just gave a brilliant synopsis of it; it was wonderful his clarity is amazing.

4 Next Level Practitioner - Emotional Triggers Week 131, Day 6 - Focus on Application - Transcript - pg. 4 A lot of stuff is happening in the body it never comes to consciousness as an actual thought, but it s in there. Also, it s very helpful for people to realize you can t go after everything cognitively in terms of what Steve talked about as perception, because a lot of stuff is happening in the body his word is neuroception; it never comes to consciousness as an actual thought but it s in there; it s encoded in the nervous system. That s of course why there s so much interest in the somatic bodycentered approach to trauma, and of course triggering is often that you re triggering a traumatic experience. That was really a wonderful, fundamental understanding that it was good to have. Then, just following up on that was Peter Levine. Of course, you can better understand what Peter does in terms of somatic therapy when you keep in mind the polyvagal theory and the fact that the body really knows; as Bessel van der Kolk always says, The body always keeps the score. Sometimes the mind s the last to know. So, wonderful fundamentals there, Ruth, for every therapist. Body-Based Tools for When Clients Are Triggered Dr. Buczynski: Let s stay with Peter Levine for a moment longer. He said that we need to give clients tools to work with their bodies when they re triggered. Supposing that a person can identify when they ve been triggered, what types of body-based tools would you suggest that they use in those moments? Dr. Hanson: I ve seen the incredible value of very, very primal forms of self-soothing, and there s a lot of research that supports these. For example, drinking when you re thirsty, or warming your body if you re a little chilled, or taking your sweater off if you re like getting a little hot. Those two forms of self-regulation, with regard to thirst and thermoregulation, are managed by the hypothalamus, this really ancient part of the brain. We know it s ancient because there s only one hypothalamus; there are two amygdala but there s only one hypothalamus, and it sits right on top of the brainstem. It s very involved in very primary forms of self-cloning, self-soothing, and self-regulation. When it s agitated, we move into, panicky drive states. The hypothalamus is very involved in very primary forms of self-cloning, self-soothing, and self-regulation. For example, as I said, drinking water; taking care of your temperature; touch is extremely regulating. I talk with clients about, What would you do with an agitated horse, or a dog that s freaked out? Or how would you calm and soothe something very simple. I grew up in Los Angeles around lizards, and I think about stroking the belly of these lizards, who would just get super-chilled-out if you would stroke them. These are really accessible for people. Oftentimes people come in, and they re kind of frozen with it Steve talked about over-activation of the parasympathetic branch of the nervous system, the most ancient branch

5 Next Level Practitioner - Emotional Triggers Week 131, Day 6 - Focus on Application - Transcript - pg. 5 of the autonomic nervous system. They say, Oh, there s nothing I can do. In fact there really is something you can do. Touch your lips that s very soothing. Take a big breath that s really soothing. Pleasure calms pain. Also, last, action: seeing yourself as someone who can reach out and pick up a glass of water; somebody who can turn and move to a different place in the room. Just acting binds anxiety and helps people feel less triggered. I just love the fact that all of these are very, very fundamental. The last one, really: pleasure. Pleasure is a natural endorphin which is analgesic; it calms pain, turning social pain and physical pain, to healthy pleasure. So it s really okay to eat that cookie when you re upset. Just don t eat the whole bag. How Clients Can Use Their Sense of Smell to Help Calm Themselves Dr. Buczynski: Steve Porges talked about triggers coming from a physiological place, below the level of interpretation. With that as an understanding, how do we help someone soothe strong emotions in their body when they can t interpret or understand anything on an intellectual level? Dr. Borysenko: First of all, I would say, Ruth, that was a great answer, and that s very important for people. Yes, just like, Oh, soothing yourself like that. That s really important. Steve talked about some very interesting things, like what goes on with the middle ear. That was interesting; what you hear or do not hear that all of this branch of the vagus, the newest branch that innervates the face; there s a lot of other stuff that goes on too. One thing that s very important that you almost never hear about is our sense of smell, because the easiest way to get to the brain is through smell; the olfactory nerves are right there. The easiest way to get to the brain is through smell. Years ago I learned a technique from someone that I still use. It was absolutely brilliant. I wish I could remember her name; her first name was Olivia. If you re listening, Olivia, thank you; I wish I could remember your last name. She said what she did with people who really get triggered is she gave them a little bell and a little vial of lavender essential oil. Essential oils can be energizing, they can be calming, but they go straight to the brain and they innervate that olfactory valve, and then they can actually change vagal tone. So what she does is to say, Okay, you re triggered. You re going to just change your state. Ring the bell which is an auditory stimulation, again stimulating that newer branch of the vagus and then you smell the essential oil, that calms you down. I ve actually found that to be a really remarkable, simple little technique.

6 Next Level Practitioner - Emotional Triggers Week 131, Day 6 - Focus on Application - Transcript - pg. 6 How to Lay the Foundation for Working with Couples Who Are Triggered By One Another Dr. Buczynski: Stan Tatkin was talking about working with a couple where one person was triggered by the other person, who was meditating during an argument. It turned out that the flatness in his eyes while he was meditating reminded her of her alcoholic father. Could you talk a bit about how you work with couples when they trigger each other? How do you help them move from triggering each other to supporting each other? Dr. Hanson: I usually start by saying to someone, Do not go into a meditative trance when your partner s mad at you. Don t. That s it. There s this tension all the time between what is meaningful and what is meaningless. Let s see. One is to really help people realize that there s this tension all the time between what is meaningful and what is meaningless. So we miss the meaning of some things that are actually meaningful maybe in our partner s behavior: that it s really meaningful to them that the place setting on the table is not stained when you sit down to dinner. Okay. Fine. That s meaningful to them, and you may not get that. Flip the other way; often, we read too much meaning into our partner and we are too tightly coupled, like and I use this metaphor with clients a steel rod between two members of a couple, so that if A goes up, B has to go up too; if A goes down, B has to go down too. There are two types of couple, in a funny kind of way, and that actually disrupts intimacy. They need to differentiate more kind of a classic teaching here and individuate more, to be able to sustain intimacy with each other in which there s more room to breathe. They give each other more room to breathe, so they don t get caught up in these really tight vicious cycles, kind of runaway cascades of reacting to each other, like a nuclear reactor that s running away. One of the things I do with people is to really, number one, establish good intentions toward each other. That s such a fundamental step in couples counseling I ve done a lot of couples counseling. People come in and they re ambivalent in their intentions toward each other; they don t necessarily really have primary good intentions toward each other. Establish good intentions toward each other that s a fundamental step in couples counseling. So that s one of the things to first evolve: Actually, do you have good intentions toward each other? You may not stay together for the rest of your lives, okay, but meanwhile, do you have good intentions toward each other, including acting from your own integrity, no matter what the other person does? Once that actually is established, to deepen your felt sense of the good intentions of your partner. Then, second, to really, once that actually is established, to deepen your felt sense of the good intentions of your partner: that you actually have, inside yourself, really registered an authentic sense that they genuinely have good intentions toward you. When those two things are present, then it s a lot easier to manage these kinds of upsets.

7 Next Level Practitioner - Emotional Triggers Week 131, Day 6 - Focus on Application - Transcript - pg. 7 Two Simple Techniques to Help Clients Who Struggle to Connect with Their Feelings Dr. Buczynski: Deany Laliotis said that the first thing she does when working with a client s trigger is invite them to ask, Why am I reacting so strongly? because asking them that can prompt them to connect with their current feelings to the experience or situation in the past that might be connected. What do you do, though, if someone struggles with that kind of a question? Dr. Borysenko: When you ask somebody a question like that, Ruth, you re asking them to search inside themselves, and they are changing their perception from outerdirected to inner-directed. You re guiding them to do this; basically, you re putting them in a light trance state. You can use some very basic hypnotic suggestion to help people. Two of these I probably learned them from Milton Erickson s work are simply to say, Oh, I m not connecting with whatever you ve asked them to connect with, then you would simply say something like, That s fine, that you can t connect right now. But sooner or later there s the hypnotic suggestion Sooner or later, maybe even later today, maybe in a dream tonight, but sooner or later, you will notice something. That s one thing. The other technique that I ve found useful for people and there are many situations when you re asking somebody to go inside and retrieve something is, after your sooner or later, you can follow up by saying something to the effect of, If you do have an answer to that, what might that answer be? That kind of frees people up at another level. Those two kind of hypnotic suggestions are very useful, and also they re useful in helping people to say, Oh, my goodness I m not wrong. Because oftentimes, they ll say, Oh, the therapist asked this question and I didn t come up with anything, and now I m feeling wrong, and the whole self-critical things comes up and, you can avoid that entirely: It s quite normal that you might not connect with anything. Sooner or later Dr. Buczynski: That s it for us for this week and actually that s it for this question; that completes our focus on Working with clients emotional triggers. Next week you ll have off, and so next week you might use it to catch up, if you got a little bit behind; if you signed up for continuing-education credits, you might use it to take the quiz and complete the part that you need to do in order to get your credits. Or you might just take a rest and take the week off. We ll be back the following week, when we will start with a new question: How do you work with clients who have a big fear of abandonment? It ll be a great question with lots of good ideas to chew on. Meanwhile, though, we d still like to hear from you. Please take a moment to comment before you leave and get started with whatever else you re doing. Tell us your reaction to anything we said today, or to how you might have handled something that we talked about. We d like to hear from you. if you could, so please go and leave a comment below. We ll see you soon. Take good care, everyone. You can use some very basic hypnotic suggestion to help people.