Feedback. What is feedback? Why is feedback important to humans?

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1 Presentation

2 Feedback

3 Feedback What is feedback? Why is feedback important to humans?

4 Helpful Feedback Helpful feedback is intentional or unintentional responses that come from others Naturally uplifting and self-building Encourages recipient to repeat the behavior or to improve behavior Examples: Roommate/spouse compliments you for cleaning the house Student praises your lesson Friend buys you dinner for helping her move

5 Helpful Feedback

6 Harmful Feedback Harmful feedback is any intentional or unintentional reaction from another that demeans or belittles your actions, your beliefs, etc. Naturally deflating, hurtful, and self-defeating Discourages the particular behavior addressed, but usually others (good and bad) Examples: Someone makes fun of your accent An old friend posts something mean on Facebook Sibling criticizes your opinion

7 Harmful Feedback

8 Past Experiences Past experiences are the accumulation of helpful and harmful feedback Affect our ability to remain positive, be self-motivating, or maintain self-confidence Everyone has some past experiences that drain our buckets Steady flow of helpful feedback necessary for most people

9 Past Experiences

10 Surprising Facts About Feedback 1. The quality of any relationship is directly correlated to the quality and quantity of the feedback given 2. Even simple pleasantries can be important feedback 3. Eye contact is critical feedback 4. Some people require more feedback than others 5. Withholding feedback is psychological punishment

11 Types of Feedback

12 Giving Feedback 1. Try to solve issues using Supportive Feedback Often and specific Clarity helps recipient know exactly which behavior to repeat 2. ONLY if/when necessary, move to Constructive Feedback Follow Center for Creative Leadership s SBI Model DO NOT TRY TO MIX #1 AND #2

13 SBI S Situation (describe the exact location, time, and circumstance of the behavior) B Behavior (explain the specific behavior witnessed in objective, neutral terms; do not add value judgment or personal insight) I Impact (describe the impact the behavior had on you, or what you perceived in other people; avoid you statements)

14 Examples Bob, yesterday, when we were in the quad talking about about racism (situation), you said that you thought people were just too sensitive (behavior), and I felt like I was being attacked for my beliefs. (impact) Sonya, today at lunch when I asked you to pass the salt (situation), I noticed that you rolled your eyes and then said, Whatever. (behavior) I felt embarrassed and hurt because I didn t feel respected. (impact) Two years ago (situation? not clear enough), you started having a real attitude problem (behavior? not a specific behavior), and now you re always acting like I m too blame for everything (impact? doesn't describe how it hurts the speaker).

15 Practice Write an SBI feedback for the following instances: Your teacher keeps ignoring you during her lecture when you raise your hand Your best friend (who is always busy) ditched you for lunch Your hallmate said something that you found offensive

16 SBI Practice

17 SBI Practice Scenario 1: In a group project, two members of the group continually arrive late, causing disruption of team s work. Scenario 2: Often, one soccer player verbally abuses another and the captain doesn t know whether to address the problem or talk to the coach. Scenario 3: Working for Duka Bora is great, except the CEO is very disorganized and some team members feel that if she was more together, they would be more successful as a team and business.

18 Strategies for Handling Feedback

19 Handling Feedback Moving against Fight Moving away Flight Moving toward Roll Over and Play Dead Moving with Collaborate to a Better Place

20 Handling Feedback Moving against The individual threatens those perceived as a threat to avoid getting hurt, or to spite opposition. Aggression against opposition. Giver Receiver

21 Handling Feedback Moving away The individual distances himself/herself from anyone perceived as a threat to avoid getting hurt. The argument is, "If I do not let anyone close to me, I won't get hurt. Giver Receiver

22 Handling Feedback Moving toward Individual moves towards those perceived as a threat to avoid retribution and getting hurt. The argument is, "If I give in, I won't get hurt. Giver

23 Handling Feedback Moving with Strategies in which psychologically healthy people develop relationships. Involves compromise Must involve communication, agreement, disagreement, compromise, and decisions. Giver Receiver

24 Tips for Receiving Feedback

25 How to Receive Feedback Mentality Feedback is a gift. Be open to what you will hear. Don t take it personally. Don t become defensive, make excuses or explain your behavior. If it wasn t important, you wouldn t be getting feedback. If you weren t important, you wouldn t be getting feedback. Feedback even harmful feedback is helpful to your growth. You can choose your response (response-ability)

26 How to Receive Feedback Key Components Make eye contact Maintain an open posture Take notes if possible and try to paraphrase what they re saying Let the person finish what he or she is saying. Ask questions to understand the exact situation, behavior, and impact, as well as frequency and duration of issue Ask the person to give you alternatives to your behavior. Avoid immediate emotional responses Ask for permission to reflect on feedback and respond within a short amount of time (2-3 days ideally) Thank feedback giver for his/her willingness to give feedback

27 How to Receive Feedback Other Tips 1. Seek feedback on a regular basis, especially after you have identified development goals. Exchanging information and perceptions is a process, not a single event. 2. Teach yourself to recognize situations in which a certain behavior needs to be altered. Feedback can help you self-monitor your behavior. 3. Use feedback to clarify goals, track progress toward those goals, and to improve the effectiveness of your behaviors over a period of time. 4. Filter feedback because not everything that people say is accurate or worth incorporating into your life.

28 Different Kinds of Feedback

29 At School

30 Old School New School

31 Future School?

32

33 When it comes to failure, Thomas Edison failed more than almost anyone. His failures in trying to make the first light bulb resulted in the dictaphone, mimeograph, stock ticker, storage battery, carbon transmitter and, FINALLY, his joint invention of the light bulb. In the end, his 10,000+ flops fade into insignificance alongside his 1093 patents.

34

35

36 Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. Henry Ford Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Robert F. Kennedy If you are not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original. Ken Robinson

37 Failure as Feedback Learning from failure requires three things: Putting yourself in situations where you can make interesting mistakes Having the self-confidence to admit to them Being courageous about making changes

38 Marshmallow Challenge

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