Mind Is Matter Guide to NLP & Using it to Master Your Life
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1 Mind Is Matter Guide to NLP & Using it to Master Your Life Legal Notice The Publisher has strived to be as accurate as possible in the creation of this document, notwithstanding the fact that he does not warrant or represent at any time that the contents within are accurate due to rapidly changing nature of the Internet. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. Any perceived slights of specific persons, peoples, or organisations are unintentional. In practical advice books, like anything else in life, there are no guarantees of income made. Readers are cautioned to rely on their own judgment about their individual circumstances to act accordingly. This document is not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting or financial advice. All readers are advised to seek services of competent professionals in legal, business, accounting and finance fields.
2 Table Of Contents Chapter 1: What is NLP? Chapter 2: How NLP Can Transform Your Life Chapter 3: Become An Excellent Communicator With NLP Chapter 4: Read Other People With NLP Chapter 5: Anchoring Your Way To A Successful State Of Mind Chapter 6: Effective NLP Reframing Techniques Chapter 7: Setting Up Your Mind Set To Success
3 Chapter 1 What is NLP? Neuro Linguistic Programming is both an art form and science that combines years of studying examples of excellence within their field and have made a difference to replicate their results and change patterns, thoughts and behaviours in our day to day lives. It is the codification of human experience, which can be thought of as a way to break down the way you do what you do and understand, change or replicate the different elements to change the outcome of a situation. The contents of this e-book and the NLP Training are all focused on one thing- equipping you with the mind set, tools and best practice that lead to easy achievement of whatever you set your mind to and want to become in life. NLP teaches you principles to help you set and achieve your goals. These principles when applied consistently and properly result in a change. Change is the only constant in life and so by learning NLP you become more confident and in control of the change by controlling and understanding your emotions; you will overcome your fears, control the direction of your thoughts and gain the focus you need to achieve because you will have removed negative thoughts, beliefs that may be anchoring you down. Your communication skills will become much sharper and more efficient, and because your thought pattern and communication skills will become heightened then in turn you will have greater influence persuasion skills with others.
4 Chapter 2 How NLP Can Transform Your Life This course gives you insights into your own inner powers and applying it gives you ultimate control over your life. The quote above is just one of the many testimonials I have received from past students of their experience of NLP and how it has affected their life for the better. I get s like this every day and my heart just bursts with excitement and a massive smile is then planted on my face the rest of the day. Now, NLP is a very controversial subject. There is no denying the usefulness of NLP to business, education, coaching and personal development, yet many people still criticize it as manipulative and useless. Unfortunately, these criticisms are made by people who have had no experience of NLP whatsoever and the reason is that it is still under debate and research, and those especially in the scientific community tend to fear what they can t measure in a lab. NLP teaches the attitude to make changes and see results, amongst what is taught in NLP are: The outlook of curiosity. Keeping an open mind. Flexibility of thought and behaviour. People who are open to their minds, thought and willing to entertain and explore their curiosity are those who will get the best results with NLP and the application of it s techniques and lessons. Students in NLP will learn how to apply the way of thinking that proves productive for them. They learn how their belief governs their results and life. The importance of life in it s entirety from career, spirituality, relationships, health and fitness. It s all about learning how to put YOU in the driver seat so that you can shift out of automatic thinking, habits and behaviours. Basically, NLP is about managing and training your mind, which is a fundamental skill to have in life, especially when it comes to your happiness and success. So, can NLP transform your life? It s up to the person and if they want it to or not.
5 Chapter 3 Become An Excellent Communicator with NLP The L for Linguistic is all about communication and how we communicate on both a verbal and non-verbal level. It s how we communicate both the external world and interpret it within us and then how we respond and communicate what s going on inside of us to the outside world. If you have an interest in communication, persuasion and influence, then NLP is one of the most powerful applied psychology systems that can be applied. Knowing exactly how people communicate will enable you to take your level of understanding to another level whether face to face, over the phone or via /text. Communication Skills within NLP: Rapport: Create states of synchronicity and connection on an unconscious level. When you are in this state, communication becomes natural and effortless as there is an element of trust between the individuals involved. The way you achieve this deep state of synchronicity/trust (Rapport): Matching & Mirroring: Which is exactly what it sounds like. This refers to being aware of words, physiology, tonality and gestures that you then feed back to the person you are communicating with. People trust themselves and the more you present yourself as a reflection of themselves, the more they will trust and believe in you. The key to matching and mirroring is that it MUST be kept out of conscious awareness. They will pick it up on an unconscious level, however if you adopt a copycat approach that is blatant then this will result in the opposite of rapport. VAKOG (Visual/ Auditory/ Kinaesthetic/ Olfactory/ Gustatory) The Five Senses We experience the external world through our five senses and each person is unique and tends to have a preference of certain senses over others. This is how we interpret information from around us. The preferred channel can change and as with everything is context dependant. However, to add impact you can build rapport and have strong influence if you communicate with people in the channel they are most responsive to.
6 Chapter 4 Read Other People With NLP So as mentioned in the previous chapter, communication is two- fold; from external to internal. In this chapter we cover communicating from internal to external. NLP eye accessing cues tell us a person s internal process for drawing information from their unconscious to conscious awareness. This can be easily observed and quantified and may provide how the person thinks and can give you insight to their strategies. The major advantage to using this technique is knowing a person s internal processes and which representational system they access as you communicate. Knowing this will help you communicate knowing how they are processing the information you are giving them. The following is for the majority of the population who are Normally Organised Some people are reverse organised, and this is easy to identify by simple questioning, and so you would just recalibrate on them accordingly. Vc (Visual Construct) Constructed Visual images Vr- (Visual Recall) Remembered Visual images Ac- (Audio Constuct) Constructed Sound Ar- (Audio Recall) Remembered Sound K-(Kinaesthetic) Feeling sensation Ad-(Auditory Digital) Self-Talk
7 Chapter 5 Anchoring Your Mind To a Successful State of Mind Anchoring is the process of stimulus response. Throughout our lives we have become anchored to a number of things both positive and negative. That certain cologne that reminds you of a partner or loved one. That song that brings back memories of a good time. The sound of the phone ringing and the list goes on. Advertising is heavy on anchoring with jingles and theme tunes. You could argue that everything in our life is an anchor in some form, way or shape. An anchor is formed when a stimulus is placed during the heightened experience of a state. The stronger the state and the more it occurs- the stronger the anchor. Anchoring in NLP comes from modelling the work of Russian scientist Ivan Pavlov and his dogs. For those who don t know, Pavlov experimented with ringing a bell to signal when it was time for food and presented food to the dogs who would then salivate. Eventually with time and repetition, he could sound the bell and the dogs would salivate with no food present. This went on to be recreated within medicine and the knee jerk response. Using this concept and techniques in NLP we can both install and create positive anchors to help strengthen confidence and give a boost and shift in state when needed, like just before an important meeting, exam or interview for example. Or we can collapse negative anchors so that they become positive and move from a stuck state such as procrastination and install a state of motivation to replace it. The Process to create an Anchor can be remembered by the Pneumonic- RACE RECALL- Recall a specific intense emotional state. Relive it through your own eyes and feel the feelings. ANCHOR- Set the physical stimulus that will become the trigger/anchor. For ease, I suggest and teach using a knuckle. CHANGE- Once you have setup and captured the anchor, break state. Take the mind off what you were doing, what did you have for breakfast? EVOKE- Now it s time to test and fire the anchor. When done correctly, the fired anchor will show a noticeable shift in the person s physiology and state. The person experiencing the anchor usually describes the sensation as a lifting feeling.
8 Chapter 6 Effective NLP Reframing Frames and Reframes are possibly amongst the most important concepts of NLP. One of the Presuppositions or beliefs of NLP The Map is Not the Territory means that the words we use do not describe our experience and that our perception of reality is not reality itself! Our experience of life is subjective, I mean EVERYTHING. Life happens to us all, the meaning we give to the events that happen are all on us and our perception. People buy into and believe that life is a fixed reality, when in fact everyone sees and experiences life through their own goggles, with their own set of beliefs, values, morals and interpretations. Simply put, frames are what puts meaning and context to occurrences and events in life. To be able to recognise and step out of the frame and see it for what it truly is, is empowering in itself as it loosens the grip on fake reality. Now you may be saying that we can t control the events that happen to us, that may be true to some, however you sure can and do have full, complete, entire, 100 % control over how you interpret that event and what meaning you give to it. To change the meaning is to change reality itself. You can reframe any part of an individual s experience and mental construct whether it be their beliefs, identity or self- concept, personal values, actions, capabilities and so on. There are two main types of reframes: 1) Context: This is giving another meaning to a statement by changing the context. Example: My 6-years old daughter is too head-strong Reframe: Won t you be happy when she grows up that she will be able to fend for herself? (that s taken from a real-life example from Milton Erickson). 2) Content: This is Giving another meaning to a statement by recovering more content, which changes the focus. Example: My boss always comes to me when he wants someone to deal with this most difficult customer who is also the most important. Reframe: He must have a lot of trust in you.
9 Chapter 7: Setting Up Your Mind Set To Success Learning or mastering the tools of (how) can only take you so far, eventually the deciding factor on whether you make it or not is your inner game, and so this has to be polished and on point to avoid failures. Most but not all facts can be reframed to have any meaning that you set to it, and the ability to alter meaning is what empowers and creates positive beliefs. You are your beliefs! There is no other way to put it. Beliefs are engrained and hard wired within our unconscious and they are what run the show. What you choose to believe is what becomes possible, and so working on your beliefs is fundamental to your success. Suggestions for areas to work on for success mind set: Fears: Everyone has them, they are a part of life and we must work on them to eliminate them. Find your fears and remove them, avoid being consumed by them or allowing them to hold you back as they are often nothing more than an illusion. Some popular fears are: Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of taking on responsibility, fear of taking the leap and following your dreams and many more. Sense/ Belief of Worthiness: If you were to ask yourself what do you most want, take a moment to find the answer. Now dig deeper and ask yourself if you deserve it. Some of you may answer, yes others will be in denial. Deep down these people do not really feel that they deserve or are worthy of achieving the goal or desire even though they have all the skills and experience needed to achieve it. Outlook on Life: Many may be optimistic, glass half full sort of people, still there are some who believe that the world is against them and that the universe is conspiring to bring them down. By reframing situations and extracting the learning from everything that happens to you in life you can begin to equip yourself with a level of resilience and knowledge to grow exponentially. You will begin to attract more of what is on the same vibration as you and find synchronicities that help you in achieving your goals. Focus on What you want: What we think about and focus on becomes our reality, so make sure to focus on what you want in your life rather than what you don t want. The more you focus on good health, success, happiness rather than focusing on what you want to move away from will equip you with the drive to attain it.
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