Self-Concept: Are Higher Scores Better?

Transcription

1 Self-Concept: Are Higher Scores Better? Ethan Schutz That, in turn, gives a roadmap for any changes that people, groups, or organizations wish to make. In the early 1980s my father, Will Schutz, developed The Human Element program. He saw the program, with the incorporation of Encounter principles and experiential learning, as a logical extension of his FIRO (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation) theory. FIRO, which he introduced in 1958, posits three dimensions to describe interpersonal relations. These are applied to three levels, interpersonal behavior, interpersonal feelings, and self-concept. FIRO Theory Behavior Inclusion Control Openness Feelings Significance Competence Likability Self-concept Aliveness Self-significance Self-determination Self-competence Self-awareness Self-like In The Human Element program, the theory is used for promoting self-understanding and for improving relations among individuals, teams, and organizations. In the process of creating The Human Element program, he decided to update FIRO theory and the related instruments to reflect what he had learned since he first created the theory over 20 years before. The changes he made at that time include: switching interpersonal needs to wants, changing the dimension of Affection to Openness, introducing Difference scores, and expanding the theory to cover the self-concept. These changes make the theory more usable in training and provide the means for participants to have a deeper understanding of themselves. Despite many interpretations that have been written about FIRO theory over the years, some of which proclaimed that higher scores on each dimension were better than lower scores, Schutz was very clear that there are no good or bad, right or wrong scores. The switch from needs to wants cemented this, as wants more accurately describes a preference (see article, Wants, Not Needs). Measuring preferences and having no right or wrong scores on each dimension makes immediate sense for the dimensions on behavior Inclusion, Control, and Openness, and those of feelings Significance, Competence, and Likability. It is generally understandable, for example, that someone would prefer a high level of inclusion, while others would prefer a low level of inclusion; it is also understandable, for example, that some people would feel other people are very significant, while others would feel that people are not so significant. Ethan Schutz is President and CEO of The Schutz Company, a training, publishing, and licensing company and provider of The Human Element approach and LIFO. 1 T935US-mar16

2 However, at the level of self-concept, there has been confusion. Often, participants immediately assume that it is better to be high on the self-concept behavior dimensions Aliveness, Self-determination, and Selfawareness, and especially on the self-concept feelings dimensions Self-significance, Self-confidence, and Self-like. Who wouldn t want to be fully alive, selfdetermined, and self-aware? Who wouldn t want to feel significant, competent and like themselves? Schutz himself initially believed this too. In many of his writings, including Human Element workbooks and manuals, this belief is reflected either directly or indirectly. However, after much contemplation he wrote this in 1999: The definition of self-concept was derived by taking the three FlRO feelings dimensions significance, competence, and likability, and the three FIRO behavior dimensions inclusion, control, and openness, and applying them to the self. I first thought that ideally these six should all be maximized, but many people objected saying they didn t want to feel extremely significant, for example. That led to the obvious conclusion, consistent with the spirit of the theory, that the objective for the optimum self-concept is to have any value on each of the six dimensions that is desired. Favoring high scores in the self-concept dimensions misses some of what is actually true for some people. For example, some people may feel very comfortable with a high score on, I like myself ; but others may feel uncomfortable with such a score, because their selfjudgment is that they are egotistical or self-absorbed. These people may very well prefer lower scores on, I like myself because to them that means they are modest or unpretentious, qualities that may have positive value for them leading to higher self-esteem. The bottom line is that the self-concept dimensions work exactly like the other dimensions of FIRO theory. There are no right or wrong, or good or bad scores on any scale; the scales measure preferences. And, each person has his or her own judgments about his or her own scores, which can be positive or negative. Like the behavior and feelings levels of the theory, no good or bad scores allows for greater depth of exploration and richness of understanding for each person. Below is a chart intended to illustrate the possible self-evaluations for low and high scores on the selfconcept dimensions. Possible Self-judgments of Self-Concept Dimensions Interpretation Low High Low High Low High Aliveness Self-determination Self-awareness Positive Calm, peaceful Joyful, fully alive Accepting of situation Masterful Content, satisfied Enlightened Negative Dead, numb Overwhelmed Powerless, helpless Positive Blind, deluded Self-significance Self-competence Self-like Humble, Significant Competent inconspicuous Negative Worthless Conspicuous, ostentatious Accepting of strengths and weaknesses Helpless Overburdened Overresponsible, Arrogant Modest, unpretentious Unlovable Bewildered, self-obsessed Like myself Egotistical 2

3 Descriptions by dimension Low High Aliveness I am peaceful and calm, content to be relaxed and have energy in reserve. I feel joyful using all parts of me in whatever I am doing, including my thoughts, feelings, sensations and movements. I feel dead and numb, depressed and wishing I felt better. I feel overwhelmed by emotions and the amount of sensory input and energy I feel. Selfdetermination I enjoy allowing my life to be guided by forces outside of me luck, coincidence, fate, synchronicity, the government, my parents, society, the organization, etc. I am very happy when I choose my whole life my behavior, thoughts, feelings, illnesses, body, reactions, and spontaneity. I feel powerless and helpless to control my life or get what I want. I feel overburdened and wish that someone else would take responsibility for me and tell me what to do. Self-awareness I feel content and satisfied knowing that there is much about myself waiting for me to discover. I have many insights in my future and I welcome the journey of continual self-discovery. I feel good when I allow myself to know everything that is going on inside me. I do not censor my experience because it does not fit with my picture of myself. I am conscious of everything I am experiencing. I know myself. I feel badly that I do not understand myself. I may be deluding myself. I believe I am a certain way, but in many circumstances I seem to act quite differently. I feel bewildered. Internally, the mix of pain that I am aware of and the contradictory feelings I have are too much for me. I am obsessed with myself and have a hard time seeing others clearly. 3

4 Selfsignificance Low I feel humble and pleased that I am one in the crowd and inconspicuous. I am not too showy or prideful. I feel unimportant, meaningless, and of no value. High I feel significant, important, worthwhile, and meaningful. I feel that I get too much attention, more than I want. I stand out and am too noticeable. I feel competent, intelligent, and strong. I am able to take care of myself, handle problems, and cope with the world. I feel that I am too competent and have become over-responsible. I act arrogantly sometimes and am shunned by others for it. I enjoy my own company and feel good about who I am. Selfcompetence I know my own strengths and weaknesses and am comfortable with them. I am pleased that I always have new things to learn. I feel weak, incompetent, and unable to cope. I don t feel that I can do anything well and want help from others in order to take care of myself. I feel modest about myself. There are always parts of myself that I would like to change in order to like myself more and I enjoy the journey of continuous personal improvement. I do not feel good in my own company and am ashamed of who I am. Self-like I feel that I like myself too much. It is egotistical to have such a high opinion of myself. As a Licensed Human Element Practitioner, a simple way to use this information when using Element S: Self-Concept TM with a participant is to consider the scores on each dimension and explore what personal judgments the participant has about his or her scores. For example, consider someone who scores low on Aliveness. Using the chart, we explore whether or not this person feels negatively about their low Aliveness, meaning that they feel either dead or numb to some degree. Or, we explore if they simply feel calm and peaceful, with the understanding that they could feel more alive even if they choose not to. They may simply enjoy being peaceful. Checking their scores on Self-Significance may help to determine if this feeling is genuine. If there is a difference between I feel significant, and I want to feel significant, they may be deceiving themselves. For another example, consider someone who scores high on Self-significance. Again using the chart, we explore if this person simply feels s/he is a significant, worthwhile person who matters in the world, or if they feel that they are too conspicuous or ostentatious because they have more importance than they feel 4

5 that they should. Their scores on Aliveness may help us to reveal any self-deception. In either case, we should avoid giving interpretations as facilitators, but rather guide the process so that participants discover their own feelings for themselves. Generally, these charts should not be shown to participants, but rather should be digested by the practitioner and used to help guide people to greater understanding. Everything should be done to avoid inadvertently indicating that participants who embody the practitioner s preferences are correct. Remembering that, the objective for the optimum self-concept is to have any value on each of the six dimensions that is desired, high self-esteem is not simply higher scores on the self-concept dimensions. Selfesteem is the feeling I have about my self-concept. In other words, self-esteem is indicated by my reaction to all of my scores on Element S. A positive reaction is high self-esteem I like the person I am, including my strengths and my weaknesses, and a negative reaction is low self-esteem. The closer I am to my ideal self, the higher my self-esteem. A measure of this is to ask participants to look at all their scores on Element S and choose a number from 0 to 9 indicating how they feel about their scores. The numbers mean: Low self-esteem High self-esteem I feel awful about myself I feel good about myself For facilitators, the important distinction to look for is the difference between someone having low selfesteem rigidly choosing positions on the dimensions that help them to feel safe and not threatened, and someone who truly prefers the scores they have on the dimensions. Schutz goes on to explain: This formulation must assume that I am sufficiently unblocked [so] that my choices on the dimensions are conscious. This process of becoming unblocked and selecting the kind of self-concept I wish is a process of hopefully, continuous improvement. The three behavior dimensions of the self-concept may be looked at as the action part of me. My aliveness is the part of me that gets the car going, turns the ignition on, turns everything on, revs the engine so the lubricants start to flow and all parts of the engine harmonize. When appropriate, it turns the lights on and starts the wipers. Awareness is charged with knowing everything that is going on, how the car is related to other cars, where all the streets are, the one-way streets. In short, awareness is sensitive to everything going on and its implication for our relation to the universe. It goes beyond the state of driving the car efficiently, it is a state often described by athletes or artists where the state of consciousness encompasses the entire scene and everything is simple and manageable. When self-awareness becomes developed it becomes enlightenment. Self-determination then takes the wheel and takes all the systems turned on by [Aliveness and] drawing on all the information gathered steers the car swiftly, safely, efficiently, delightfully. As it becomes fully developed Self-determination becomes mastery. From a training perspective, he writes: The ultimate aim of THE training for all participants: Step 1. Blocked. You choose a place on the scale of aliveness (or mastery or enlightenment) that is safe and non-threatening. Step 2. Eliminate blocks. All systems are go, If you are blocked you aren t allowing yourself to choose. When you are unblocked you realize If it is to be it is up to me. Step 3. Choose what you want of aliveness, mastery, and enlightenment. This is our aim, not [to be high on all six dimensions]. Some people may not 5

6 want it fully. As facilitators it is not our role to force it on them. As facilitators, it is our role to help people determine if they are truly where they want to be or if they are deceiving themselves. Aliveness, mastery, and enlightenment are the extreme positives of inclusion, control, and openness; some people may want them and some may not. Some questions that can help: What do you like about your scores? What do you not like? How do your scores help you to get what you want? How does your body feel when you look at or think about your scores? What would other people say about your scores? Would they say that you are being the way you want to be? What is positive about your scores? What is negative? For high scores on Self-concept, you might also ask: In what ways are you telling yourself that things are better than they are? What do you pretend about yourself to yourself? What personal issues are you avoiding? For low scores on Self-concept, you might also ask: In what ways are you holding yourself back from being the way you want to be? What would your life be like if you did not hold yourself back? What story do you tell yourself about your scores? While it is true that some people may honestly want lower scores on the self-concept dimensions, much of the time low scores result from people being defensive. In all instances, it is important to avoid giving people language that will help them justify their own defensiveness. As facilitators, it is our job to help people determine if they are blocked, defending, and actually have low self-esteem or if they are choosing their levels consciously and honestly. The difference may make a huge difference to them, the people around them, their organization, and to the bottom line. References Schutz, E. (2011, July). Wants, Not Needs. Schutz, W. (2011). Evolution of FIRO-B to Element B. Schutz, W. (2009). FIRO: A Three-Dimensional Theory of Interpersonal Behavior. Tarrytown, NY: The Schutz Company, Inc. Schutz, W. (1999). Notes. Muir Beach, CA, USA: unpublished. Schutz, W. (1999). Permanent Change. Muir Beach, CA, USA: unpublished. Schutz, W. (2014). The Human Element Leaders Manual. Tarrytown, NY: The Schutz Company, Inc. Schutz, W. (2009). The Human Element: Productivity, Self- Esteem and the Bottom Line. Tarrytown, NY: The Schutz Company, Inc. Note All books are available from The Schutz Company: info@theschutzcompany.com. For information on unpublished references, please contact the author: ethan@theschutzcompany.com. 6