Moving From Victim to Victorious. Jessica Moehr Program Manager, Consultant, Trainer

Transcription

1 Moving From Victim to Victorious Jessica Moehr Program Manager, Consultant, Trainer

2 Today s Goal Change the way we think to naturally gravitate to positive thoughts, which drive our behaviors and attitude, and influence other around us. 2

3 The Victim Mentality I ve done everything I possibly can. Why does this always happen to me? My boss doesn t respect me. That s not fair. If they would just do that, things would be better. I don t have time to deal with their foolishness. It wasn t my idea so you can t blame me. What about me? They just won t listen to what I have to say. You messed me up. It s too late now, damage is done. I ll change when they change. I couldn t help it. They need to be taught a lesson. Anyone in my situation would be angry, too.

4 The Cortisol Cycle Trigger occurs Suppress control of Cortisol Brain releases Cortisol Lose perspective More sensitive to stressors 4

5 The Power of Choice Stimulus Reaction Choice RESPONSE

6 System 1 and System 2 Thinking System 1 System 2 Fast Unconscious Effortless Automatic Without self-awareness What you see is all there is Slow Deliberate and Conscious Effortful Controlled With self-awareness Logical and skeptical Adapted from Thinking, Fast and Slow by psychologist Daniel Kahneman 6

7 The Victim Mentality I ve done everything I possibly can. Why does this always happen to me? My boss doesn t respect me. That s not fair. If they would just do that, things would be better. I don t have time to deal with their foolishness. It wasn t my idea so you can t blame me. What about me? They just won t listen to what I have to say. You messed me up. It s too late now, damage is done. I ll change when they change. I couldn t help it. They need to be taught a lesson. Anyone in my situation would be angry, too.

8 Changing Your Mindset The Victim Mentality If things are going wrong or badly, or not to my liking, then someone is to blame. It is necessary to identify the person(s), circumstance(s), or source(s) of why things are not as I think they should be. Blame must be determined and accepted by the wrongdoer, and things must be made right. I am justified by being emotionally upset. Personal Accountability I completely and wholly accept that everything that has ever happened to me, that is presently happening to me, and that will happen to me in the future provides me with opportunities for learning and growth. No one else can be rightly blamed for any negativity. I seek no exceptions to this belief, even when the apparent cause is not of my making.

9 Self Directed Neuroplasticity consciously control how we want our brains to work 1. Awareness 2. Attention 3. Volition (Willpower) 4. Consistency 5. Brain Changes 9

10 Defining Attitude An inward feeling expressed by outward behavior. Energy that fuels your thoughts, feelings and actions based on the difference between your expectations and perceptions (your definition of reality) of a situation.

11 What Attitude Can and Cannot Do Can Make a difference in your approach to life Make a difference in your relationships with people Make a difference in how you face challenges Be a difference maker Cannot Substitute for competence Substitute for experience Change the facts Substitute for personal growth Stay positive automatically

12 Breaking the Cortisol Cycle Build personal resilience Live the Basic Principles Focus on what can be controlled Actively seek out the positive in your day 12

13 Resilience 1.: the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress. 2.: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change 13

14 Think beyond the moment Focus on the situation, issue, or behavior, not on the person Basic Principles Maintain the selfconfidence and selfesteem of others Lead by example Take initiative to make things better Maintain constructive relationships

15 Stephen Covey (with a twist) Concern Influence Control

16 THANK YOU For Your Time Any Final Questions? Jessica Moehr Program Manager, Fully Prepared to Lead Office of Human Resources Office of Talent Management Learning and Talent Development 16