Using Brenè Brown to Create Strengths Out of Weaknesses and Opportunities Out of Threats

Transcription

1 Using Brenè Brown to Create Strengths Out of Weaknesses and Opportunities Out of Threats P R E S E N T E D B Y D O R I S H O L L E M A N A N D L I B B Y G R A H A M, K A N S A S C I T Y K A N S A S C O M M U N I T Y C O L L E G E C A M P U S C H I L D C A R E C E N T E R

2 Introduction to Brenè Brown Started reading Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection as a class assignment and introduced books to Mrs. Holleman while traveling. Brenè Brown is a shame and shame resilience researcher with a BSW, LMSW, and Ph.D in Social Work. She has written 3 books I Thought it was Just Me (But It Isn t), The Gifts of Imperfection, and Daring Greatly and has done several TED talks.

3 I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn t) In her first book, Brenè Brown discusses Shame and Shame Resilience She discusses what shame is and where it comes from. She, also, discusses Four Factors of Shame Resilience: Recognizing Shame Practicing Critical Awareness Reaching Out Speaking Shame Lastly, she discusses Courage, Compassion, and Connection

4 The Gifts of Imperfection Brenè Brown discusses the idea of living wholeheartedly and the things that get in the way of living in a more complete manner. She provides 10 Guideposts to wholehearted living: Cultivating Authenticity Cultivating Self-Compassion Cultivating a Resilient Spirit Cultivating Gratitude and Joy Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith Cultivating Creativity Cultivating Play and Rest Cultivating Calm and Stillness Cultivating Meaningful Work Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance She redefines Digging Deeper to mean getting: Deliberate in thought or action or setting intentions Inspired to make different choices Going and doing something.

5 Daring Greatly In this book, Brenè Brown discusses vulnerability and how it impacts our lives. She lists myths about and the defenses we use to combat vulnerability. She talks, briefly, about shame and combatting it. She truly emphasizes the fact that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength. It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly (quoted on page 1)

6 Strengths and Weaknesses Reflection Strengths 1) What are your strengths? 2) What unique capabilities and resources do you possess? 3) What do others perceive as your strengths? 4) What do others value about you and your work? Weaknesses 1) What are your weaknesses? 2) What do your coworkers do better than you? 3) What do others perceive as your weaknesses? 4) What can you improve given your current environment?

7 Some Things to Consider How does the culture of never enough effect our schools, organizations, and families? How do we recognize and combat shame at work, school, and home? What does minding the gap and daring greatly look like in schools, work, and homes?

8 What is Vulnerability and Scarcity Brenè Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Vulnerability Myths: Vulnerability is Weakness I Don t Do Vulnerability Vulnerability is Letting It All Hang Out We Can Go It Alone Scarcity is the Never Enough issue. Men and women experience shame.

9 Shame Resilience Strategies Recognize Shame and Understand Its Triggers- Practicing Critical Awareness- Reaching Out- Speaking Shame- The Velveteen Rabbit Quote: Real isn t how you are made, said the Skin Horse. It s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real. Does it hurt? asked the Rabbit. Sometimes, said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. When you are Real, you don t mind being hurt. Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, he asked, or bit by bit? It doesn t happen all at once, said the Skin Horse. You become. It takes a long time. That s why it doesn t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can t be ugly, except to people who don t understand.

10 What Gets In The Way and How Do We Combat It? Shame- Shame Resilience Blame-Feedback Unwillingness to share ourselves, our struggles, our needs- Find the most appropriate people to reach out to and share our stories with The myths of vulnerability and the vulnerability armory- Daring Greatly

11 Courage, Compassion, Connection Courage, Compassion, and Connection are the true gifts of our imperfections Courage, everyday courage, is a tool against fear Compassion is a tool against blame Empathy and feeling with others is part of compassion Connection is a tool against disconnection When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.

12 Using this tomorrow This session is meant to provide a guide and tool for self-reflection and personal growth. Where can I practice these concepts? Who are the appropriate people to reach out to? Who s in front of me to learn from? Who s behind me and needs help? What can I change about my personal culture of shame, blame, and vulnerability? How can I DIG Deeper?

13 Contact Us Holle-Graham Trainings and Events Doris Holleman and Libby Graham Kansas City Kansas Community College 7250 State Ave. Kansas City, KS Phone: Fax: