Conflict It s What You Do With It!

Transcription

1 Conflict It s What You Do With It! Luc Bégin, Ombudsman Department of Canadian Heritage Presented to: Financial Management Institute of Canada November 27 th, 2013

2 True or False Sometimes the best way to deal with conflict 85% is to of avoid employees it leave a boss or a colleague, not a position or an Conflict can organisation lead to innovation and new Only ineffective ideas at work individuals have conflicts Someone always You should not mix loses in a conflict emotions and situation conflicts 2

3 What is conflict? Conflict consists of unresolved differences between two or more parties, or within one person. Differences are inevitable: arguing and intensifying the conflict is a choice. CONFLICT = + Why is conflict inevitable? People are different from one another and sometimes either misunderstand or refuse to accept the differences, or both. An unwillingness to take some responsibility for situations that fail to meet your expectations may also contribute to the intensity of the conflict. 3

4 Key messages about conflict Conflict is neither good nor bad. Conflict is inevitable. Conflict does not have to result in winners or losers. In conflict, both parties tend to believe that their opinion is fact. Too often both parties see themselves as innocent victims who represent the side of truth and fairness. Each party s perception is often limited to seeing the conflict through their our own lens. 4

5 Top reasons for conflict at work Personality Clashes / Egos Leadership Issues Lack of Honesty Clash of Values Stress Organizational Pressures Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional - Max Lucado Adapted from 2009 Psychometrics Canada 5

6 Recipe for conflict 1. Personalize the problem 2. Break all communication 3. Seek retaliation or justice Never cut what you can untie - Joseph Joubert Source: Pascal Audit, Conflict Management Practitioner, Health Canada 6

7 Cost of conflict Personal Mental health Physical health Stress Loss of creativity Apathy Low morale & motivation Organizational Loss of productivity Unresolved conflict cost 2.5 times more than the salaries of people involved The cost of resolving a grievance can be as high as $40,000 Average employee spends over 2 hrs/week dealing with conflict 7

8 How emotions can affect conflicts Conscious Rational Creativity and problemsolving A pause is a powerful tool for selfmanagement Unconscious Emotional Self-protection Muddy water, let stand becomes clear Lao Tzu 8

9 Dealing with conflicts Assertiveness Conflict reaction styles Cooperativeness Adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument 9

10 Conflict Reactions Styles What does avoiding look like? Avoiding An unassertive and uncooperative style; Does not pursue either his/her own concerns or those of the other person, and does not resolve the conflict; Denying, avoiding or rejecting confrontation. Situations where this may be useful When the problem has no consequence or is of minor significance to you; Does not concern you; Lack of information. - Remember: it may be important for the other person to discuss and resolve the conflict. «Problems do not go away, they need to be worked through.» - Scott Peck - Dealing with a situation quickly may prevent frustration later on. «Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.» - Walter Lippmann 10

11 Conflict Reactions Styles Confront / Compete What does confronting/ competing look like? Assertive and uncooperative style, with focus on winning; Stand up for your rights, defending a position you believe is correct, or simply trying to win. Situations where this may be useful Crisis or emergency situations; Critical situation such as a last-minute project; When the team will not collaborate. - Identify any aspects of the conflict that you cannot negotiate. - Take the time to listen to the other party and reflect on what you will say. - Clearly explain their importance to you. - Then determine what is not essential for you and let it go

12 Conflict Reactions Styles Accommodating What does accommodating look like? A cooperative and unassertive style an element of self-sacrifice; Seldom expressing disagreement, a position or an opinion; Neglects his/her own concerns to satisfy the other person s concerns. Situations where this may be useful When the matter is much more important to the other person than you; To preserve the relationship. - Learn to separate the problem from the individual. - Do not base your decisions on simple perceptions. Verify! - Express your concerns. They are valid. - Do not fall into the trap of wanting to please the other

13 Conflict Reactions Styles What does compromise look like? Compromising In between assertiveness and cooperativeness; To find an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties; Ensuring that everyone receives his/her share. Situations where this may be useful No time to get to the bottom of things; We feel we can be sufficiently satisfied with splitting the difference; We want to maintain the relationship, where many people are affected or when a situation appears to be worsening. - Learn to recognize the nonnegotiable elements for the other party and respect them. - Limit yourself to a few options. - Listen attentively, listen to understand

14 Conflict Reactions Styles Collaborating What does collaborating look like? Both an assertive and cooperative style; Concern is to satisfy our needs and the other person s needs; Fostering open dialogue, and encouraging participation by all parties concerned. Situations where this may be useful When there is a desire to get to the real issue and to learn from the process; When a commitment is needed to ensure an effective implementation; When there is a continuing working relationship. - Focus your efforts on finding a lasting and sustainable solution. - Stick to the facts: create an agenda and an outline to avoid discussing trivial details. - Remember: your colleague may not be emotionnally ready to discuss a situation. - Learn to distinguish simple situations from complex ones; they do not require the same degree of intervention

15 What YOU can do Build strong working relationships; Seek to understand before being understood; Get involved to get it resolved; Be soft on the people, hard on the issue. We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak - Epictetus 15

16 Conflict Management Options Discussion Coaching Negotiation Facilitation Mediation Workplace Assessment Group Intervention Grievance Investigation Adjudication Control over the process and the outcome Informal Resolution Formal Decision Interest-based $ Position-based $$$ 16

17 Top 3 Dos and Don ts Dos Prepare Don ts Let emotions get the best of you Listen Wait to address it Communicate effectively Make it personal 17

18 Add S.A.L.T. to your conflict S. STOP Take charge of your emotions; Stop arguing, accusing, blaming. A. L. T. ACKNOWLEDGE Show respect for the other person s opinions and viewpoint LISTEN Ask open-ended questions Let the other person do most of the talking TALK Emphasize issues on which you agree Work on issues upon which you disagree Brainstorm solutions together Summarize frequently 18

19 True or False Sometimes the best way to deal with conflict is to avoid it T 85% of employees leave a boss or a T colleague, not a position or an organisation Conflict can lead to innovation and new ideas at work Someone always loses in a conflict F T You should not mix emotions and conflicts T F Only ineffective F individuals have conflicts 19

20 It s what you do with it! If anticipated and handled correctly, conflict can have positive results e.g. a more productive workplace. Conflict is an opportunity to create new ideas and have a more innovative workplace. Remember conflicts are inevitable yet manageable. 20

21 HOW EVERYONE CAN WIN - Be willing to fix the problem - Say what the problem is for you - Listen to what the problem is for them - Attack the problem, not the person - Look for answers together so everyone gets what they need What happens if we are both right? FOULS X - Name Calling X - Put Downs X Sneering / Blaming X - Threats X - Bringing up the past X - Making Excuses X - Not Listening X - Getting Even 21