!!!! !!!! !!! The Pain/Terror Release Therapy! Workbook! Robert Miller, PhD. Copyright 2014

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1 The Pain/Terror Release Therapy Workbook By Robert Miller, PhD Copyright 2014

2 The Pain/Terror Release Workbook How to use this workbook This workbook is divided into two sections. You absolutely should read the entire first section and learn the basics of the P/TT. This will provide you with a foundation for transforming the feeling and behavior that you want to work on. The second section gives instructions for specific targets such as feeling overwhelmed, procrastination, obsessions, and depression. After working through section one, you can turn to the area of the workbook that will be most useful to you. The instructions for each area are complete.

3 The Pain/Terror Release Workbook Section 1 Pain/Terror (P/T) is the foundation of all negative and destructive behavior. Releasing the pain changes the behavior. The Pain/Terror Release Technique (P/TT) is an quick and easy method of getting rid of the P/T. However, some people s behaviors are more complex and require a therapist trained in the P/TRT. We all have blind spots in our awareness where we don t see what is obvious to others. A therapist trained in the P/TRT can help you through this process. The workbook can then be used to help accelerate this process. Some types of pain are easy to notice. If a person s spouse has recently died or if a person s girlfriend left him for another man, the emotional pain is clear. Other behaviors, however, may make it harder to even identify the pain. For example, procrastination, anxiety, depression, or overeating may be the result of emotional pain but the person may be unlikely to be aware of the P/T underlying the dynamic. However, whether the P/T is obvious or hidden, the P/T causes dysfunctional behavior. Clearing the P/T will change that behavior. The purpose of this workbook is: 1) to teach you a simple technique for releasing pain and terror and 2) to help you identify exactly the pain and terror that underlies your behavior so that you can release it. 3). to help you release the P/T and change your behavior. For most people, identifying the P/T is actually the more challenging task. Many negative feelings about ourselves and problematic behaviors are actually the consequence of the P/T. Releasing the P/T changes the negative self-feelings and resulting behavior. This book is set up so that you can find behaviors that are bothering you and release the P/T that is motivating that behavior. Results: There are two results of clearing pain and terror: 1). The first result is that the suffering you are experiencing when thinking about the event is no longer present. This usually occurs immediately after doing the P/TT. You may notice that the event is not as charged as it had been.

4 2) The second result is less immediately obvious. Some painful events are more foundational. For example, if a person was raped during their teenage years, many feelings/thoughts and behaviors may have been driven by the pain of that event. When the pain is released, the driving force behind those feelings/thoughts and behaviors is no longer present. The first result of the P/TT, as described above, is that after releasing the pain, the charge of the event goes away. The second consequence is that you may feel unmotivated for several days. There just isn t any reason for feeling and doing those old pain-driven behaviors anymore. After a few days, this kind of empty listless feeling goes away and you may experience new motivations, interests, desires that reflect the new pain-free spirit that had been covered up by the pain. When beginning to learning to clear the pain using the P/TT, I suggest beginning with some painful event that it is easy to remember and that the pain is easy to feel. Events such as the breakup of a relationship or some other loss or the pain of a failure are usually events whose pain is most evident. After you have learned how to use the P/TT and have experimented with what exact approach works best for you, then move on to behaviors in which the pain is less obvious. The P/TT works the same in all events but it is not always easy to find the pain underlying a behavior.

5 Read This Page Before Doing Any Release Yes, this means you Warning Do NOT deeply or intensely connect with the P/T. Intensely connecting with the pain or terror is not necessary. In fact, it s a bad idea. Nobody wants to feel pain or terror. Letting yourself experience the P/T may actually make it harder for you to stay with the release process. Identifying the P/T of the event, then the color and location is all that is necessary to release the P/T. Second Warning Do NOT release the P/Ts from more than 1 formative event in one session. Psychological and behavioral patterns are created as a result of P/T. Removing that P/T, removes the driving force or motivation for those patterns or behaviors existence. Because people s sense of who they are is significantly the result of these patterns and behaviors, removing the P/T underlying those dynamics removes that sense of who they are. Once the P/T is removed, people naturally begin creating new patterns and behaviors that are not based on the P/T. However, a transition time is necessary for this to emerge. Releasing the P/Ts from more than one event, can therefore make this process seem threatening to the self rather than a liberation of the self. Many events can have more than one P/T linked with the event. You can, however, release all the P/Ts from one formative event. P/Ts from an event can include P/Ts resulting from emotional pain, guilt, shame, or anger for example. All the P/Ts linked with that event can be released in one session. But only the P/Ts from one event.

6 In order to gain a fuller understanding of the P/TRT, how it works, and the large variety of feelings and behaviors that can be transformed, please read the previous discussion. The basics points of the P/TRT are summarized as follows: 1. Negative events create pain and terror (P/T). 2. The memories, feelings, and beliefs created by those events are energized by the P/T. 3. The Pain/Terror Technique (P/TT) releases the P/T underlying the negative memories, feelings, and beliefs 4. When the P/T is released, the negative feelings and dysfunctional behavior will automatically begin to disappear. 5. Functional behaviors and positive feelings about the self and the world will begin to emerge. To emphasize these points because the concept is so different from the accepted understanding of processing feelings and changing behavior: Pain/Terror is the foundation of all negative feelings and destructive behavior. Releasing the Pain/Terror changes the feelings and behaviors resulting from those feelings without any further processing.

7 How to Do the Pain/Terror Technique The P/TT utilizes a breathing/visualization technique. During this process, think of the color as an actual physical substance that you are removing from your body. When breathing the color out, visualize the color as composed of tiny, tiny, tinniest particles that flow out of your body. Alternately, if P/T is a sound for you, hear the P/T as a sound that disappears as you breathe through it. Whether you use a visual or auditory mode of identifying the P/T, it is very important to think of the color or sounds as an actual substance that you are releasing from your body. The more intensely you can visualize this process, the more complete the release of the P/T will be. The more complete the release, the more completely the transformation of the memories, feelings, and behaviors. ALSO VERY IMPORTANT The process of the P/TT moves from identifying the event, identifying the feeling about the event, to identifying the color (sound) of the P/T. Once the color of the P/T has been identified, it is no longer necessary to keep in mind the event, the feeling, or the P/T. Only focus on the color (or sound)of the P/T you have identified. WARNING AGAIN: Once you learn and see how effective the P/TT is, you may be tempted to use the P/TT on many different memories immediately. This is a very bad idea. Please limit yourself to two different memories a day. Because of the profound change that can occur, too much change can result in intense anxiety. That anxiety is the result of too much change, too quickly. Now to begin the P/TT start with some event that you can clearly identify as emotionally painful. Then identify the painful feeling you are experiencing i.e. shame, guilt, humiliation, embarrassment, loss. Now you re ready to begin the releasing process.

8 Identifying the Pain/Terror to be released Identifying your P/T is sometimes obvious such as when you feel rejected or someone says something hurtful to you or you experience a significant loss. The pain that underlies other reactions may not be so obvious. Feelings of being overwhelmed or anxiety about doing things indicate that the P/T is present. An overly intense angry reaction to a situation can also indicate that you feel hurt (P/T) using anger to overcome the P/T. Obsessively thinking about how you could have changed the outcome of a situation also indicates an underlying P/T. In this case, you are trying to avoid pain by altering the situation. To summarize: There is an underlying P/T when: 1. Remembering an event causes emotional pain. 2. You feel overwhelmed or anxious. 3. You have an overly intense angry reaction. 4. You are constantly thinking about what you could have done differently to change the outcome of the situation. 5. You are procrastinate. 6. You felt guilt or shame. 7. There are persistent negative thoughts or feelings about yourself. 8. There is any dysfunctional or destructive behavior. Stages of Change The amount of change that occurs after doing the PRT depends on how much the pain has become a focus of your behavior. If you have suffered a recent loss of a job or relationship, the likely change will be small other than how the current pain has changed your behavior since the loss occurred. On the other hand, if the pain-causing event occurred many years earlier or if the event caused a significant change in behavior, then releasing the pain may result in significant change in behavior. A useful image of the connection between emotional pain and the feelings/ behavior is to think in terms of sphere with the pain in the middle. Surrounding the pain, emanating from the pain, are the psychological patterns and behaviors motivated by the pain. When the pain is released, the patterns and behaviors resulting from the pain no

9 longer have a motivation or driving force. The result is that you are no longer motivated to do that behavior or to see in the world through that lens. De-motivation is the usual consequence of releasing a pain that has caused significant change in the person s life. The next few days after the pain release you may feel tired and not have any real desire to do anything. The next stage is often a reevaluation of what you have done since the event occurred. There is often sadness and/or grief or regret about the choices made and the lost years. This occurs because without the pain and the psychological patterns driven by the pain, you may see your behavior through a different lens. While the above changes are occurring, something else is also happening: the experience of something wonderful expanding and growing inside. The experience has been described by others as a release from a bondage they didn t know they had and new, deeper sense of their own self and what they feel and want. Awareness of this experience is most acute in the first few weeks. After a few weeks, the most obvious changes have taken place and you may no longer be aware of the changes because you are now seeing/feeling yourself in a new way. Resistance to Releasing Pain There are at least four reasons for having resistance to releasing pain. 1. The pain is a reaction to the loss of a loved one: You may feel that the pain keeps you connected to the person who died. The fear is that if you release the pain, you ll be releasing your connection to your loved one. However, instead of being connected to the pain or loss, you will have a stronger connection with your loved one by being connected through the good memories, the fun and loving times of being with him or her. Pain actually blocks memories. Releasing the pain will actually enhanced your memories of that loved person. With this in mind, do the P/TT again. 2. Resistance to releasing the pain exist when the Pain has been caused by the person who hurt you. This attachment to the abuser occurs when the person was also someone you wanted to love you, like a parent. Releasing the pain may feel like you re losing your connection to him. You wanted a connection through love not pain. To the extent there was love in the relationship, releasing the pain will allow you to remember those positive memories. 3. You may feel guilty or shamed about your behavior and not want to release the pain out of guilt and shame. If this is the situation, use the P/TT on the guilt or shame first. Then do the P/TT on that painful memory.

10 4. Releasing the pain means that the person has to admit that he lost. This dynamic occurs when there is intense anger and rage about the event. The person resists releasing the pain because that would release the rage. As long as the rage exists, there is a feeling that he can do something about what happened. Releasing the rage means that there is no way to change the outcome of the event. The solution to this resistance is to confront the client with the truthful fact that he did lose and no amount of rage will change that. Loss is normalized by noting to the client that sometimes people win and sometimes people lose. That s a painful truth. Acknowledge and releasing that pain allows people to move on instead of being stuck in one past event.

11 The Pain/Terror Release Technique The Pain/Terror Technique (P/TT) releases the pain/terror (P/T) associated with disturbing memories or negative feelings and thoughts. This technique is easy to do and you can do it on your own for a variety of problems. If you are using sound as a way to identify the P/T, substitute the word sound for the word color. The parts of the body chosen in this protocol for the release have been generally found to be effective. As you become more adept at this process, you may find that the colors are mostly focused in certain parts of your body and not others. Therefore, you may want to emphasize those areas. However, you can never really know ahead of time when a release from one area of the body will be useful. Therefore, the entire protocol should be performed every time Another important part of the protocol is to see the color as composed of very tiny, tiny, tiny particles. Visualizing the color in this way appears to make the release easier. If you are using sound instead of color, find an image in which the general image is composed of very small units such as small units of sound. The image does not have to be reasonable. The image just has to make sense to you. Listening to a recording of the protocol can be very useful for keeping your mind focused on releasing the color. Most people s mind s tend to lose focus and drift off. A recording can keep you focused and help you complete the entire release. The only purpose of the specific protocols of the P/TT is to release the P/T and transform the behavior and feelings. If you find focusing on different areas of the body or visualization the color in different ways is more effective for you, go with it. Sometimes you just might have to get creative in order to get the P/T to release. How will you know if what you re doing is right? If your attitude and feelings toward the original memory or feeling undergo a permanent transformation, then you re doing it right. Summary of Important points: 1. Do the entire protocol every time. 2. Visualize the color/sound as being composed of small units. 3. Listening to a recording of the protocol can help you complete the release. 4. If you get stuck in the release, be created in finding a method of release.

12 Learning the P/TT It is easiest to learn the P/TT using an event that you remember as painful. So for your first processing with the P/TT, pick an event that is obviously emotionally painful. This approach makes it easy to identify the pain and allows you to focus on learning the basics of the technique. Releasing the Pain from a Painful Event 1. Describe the painful memory. 2. Feel the emotional pain of that memory. On a 0 to 10 scale, how intense is the pain? 3. What color is the pain? 4. Where is the pain located in your body? 5. Take a deep slow breath and imagine that the breath is going into the color. 6. Breathe out very slowly. Imagine that the color is slowly moving out of your body through the pores of your skin. Think of the color as composed of tiny, tiny, tiny little particles of color emerging out of your body. Do this at least 3 times. 7. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color out the middle of your forehead. Do this at least 3 times. 8. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles out your eyes. Do this at least 3 times. 9. Breathe into your chest and breathe the tiny particles of color out down your arms and out the palms of your hands. Do this at least 3 times.

13 10. See your spine as being composed of guitar strings. As you breathe out, release the tension on the guitar strings and see the particles of color radiate out in all directions. 11. Breathe into your abdomen and breathe the tiny particles of color down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet. 12. Breathe into your heart and breathe the tiny particles of color out your heart. 13. Breathe into the right side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the right side of your brain. 14. Breathe into the left side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the left side of your brain. 15. Breathe into the front of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the front of your brain. 16. Breathe into the back of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the back of your brain. 17. Breathe into the center of your brain. Visualize the particles of color as being very tiny, tinniest, particles of color. See them radiate in all directions from the center of your brain. 18. Scan your body to see if there is any color left in your body. If there is, breathe into that part of your body and then breathe the tiny particles of color out the pores of your skin in that area. 19. Re-evaluate the pain of the memory: Does it still feel charged when you think of the event again? On a 0 to 10 scale, how painful is the memory? 20. What is your emotional reaction to be event now? 21. If your emotional reaction is painful, do the P/TT again on that feeling. 22. Now do the instructions given in Changing Patterns.

14 Changing Patterns Having released the P/T, you are now a different person. Your mind will now have a different attitude toward previous memories, feelings and behavior. However, the old psychological patterns created by the P/T still need to be transformed. This transformation is accomplished by focusing for a short time on your memories and daily behaviors. When the new you focuses on the old pattern, your mind will automatically begin to transform the old thoughts and patterns. Even without doing this technique your mind would begin this process but the Changing Patterns technique will accelerate the transformation and make the inner shift smoother. The following list of areas of your life to focus on are just suggestions that might prove useful. The areas usually to focus on are the areas of your life that the P/T has most effected. For example, if the P/T underlying anger was processed, focusing on your interactions with certain people is likely a good area to focus on. After the P/TT has been completed: Instructions: For 15 to 20 seconds, focus on the following: 1. Focus on your life 1 hour from now for 30 seconds; 3 hours from now for 15 seconds. 2. The next meal. 3. Your evening time. 4. Going to bed. 5. Waking up. 6. Going to work days from now week from now. 9. Various memories from the past. 10.Your current relationship

15 Section 2 Releasing the Pain Underlying the Feeling of Being Overwhelmed or the Anxiety about Doing Something When people feel overwhelmed and/or anxiety about things they have to do, they often do some form of hiding behavior such as watching TV, drinking, eating, or working. However, the feeling of being overwhelmed or anxiety about doing things is never the result of what is happening, what we have to do, or any activities we have to do. No matter how many tasks or how big the project, we feel overwhelmed or anxious because of what we say to ourselves. Thoughts such as I can t do all this or It s too much trigger other negative thoughts and feelings such as I m going to fail which, in turn, creates emotional pain or terror. If there is no underlying P/T, there will be no self-consciousness about the task. Just a thoughtfulness about how to accomplish the objective. For example, Peter felt overwhelmed at work because he felt he had too many things to do. Peter s negative belief that was being triggered was I can t. Underlying that belief was the belief, I m going to fail. Releasing the pain of I m going to fail cleared the feeling of being overwhelmed. After that release, he was able to look at what he needed to do with a clear mind. Overview for steps for processing the pain underlying the feeling of being overwhelmed or anxious about having to do things: 1. When you feel overwhelmed or anxiety, ask yourself, what am I saying to myself? Common thoughts are It s too much, I can t handle it, nothing I do matters anyway. 2. What is the consequence of the thought. For example, if it s too much then I m going to fail. Or If I can t handle it, no one will love me. 3. Is that thought painful or fearful? 3. Feel the P/T of the thought. 4. Do the P/TT

16 Instructions for Releasing Feelings of Being Overwhelmed or Anxiety 1. Ask yourself, what am I saying to myself? Common thoughts are It s too much, I can t handle it, nothing I do matters anyway. 2. What is the consequence of the thought. For example, if it s too much then I m going to fail. Or If I can t handle it, no one will love me. 3. Feel the emotional pain of that thought. On a 0 to 10 scale, how intense is the pain? 4. What color is the pain? 5. Where is the color located in your body? 6. Take a slow breath and visualize the breath is going into the color. 7. Breathe out very slowly. Imagine that the color moving slowly out of your body through the pores of your skin. Think of the color as made of of tiny, tiny, tiny small particles that emerging flowing out of your body. Do this at least 3 times. 8. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color out the middle of your forehead. Do this at least 3 times. 9. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color your eyes. Do this at least 3 times. 10. Breathe into your chest and breathe the tiny particles of color out down your arms and out the palms of your hands. Do this at least 3 times.

17 11. See your spine as being composed of guitar strings. As you breathe out, release the tension on the guitar strings and see the particles of color radiate out in all directions. 12. Breathe into your abdomen and breathe the tiny particles of color down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet. 13. Breathe into your heart and breathe the tiny particles of color out your heart. 14. Breathe into the right side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the right side of your brain. 15. Breathe into the left side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the left side of your brain. 16. Breathe into the front of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the front of your brain. 17. Breathe into the back of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the back of your brain. 18. Breathe into the center of your brain. Visualize the particles of color as being very tiny, tinniest, particles of color. See them radiate in all directions from the center of your brain. 19. Scan your body to see if there is any color left in your body. If there is, breathe into that part of your body and then breathe the tiny particles of color out the pores of your skin in that area. 20. Re-evaluate the P/T of the memory: Does it still feel charged when you think of the event again? On a 0 to 10 scale, how intense is the memory? 21. What is your emotional reaction now? 22. If your emotional reaction is painful or fearful, do the P/TT again on that feeling. 23. Now do the instructions given in Changing Patterns.

18 Releasing the underlying pain of obsessive thoughts Obsessive thinking comes in two varieties. The first type is when you like what you are thinking about. For example, a compulsive gambler may compulsively think about gambling even when he is not gambling. Or someone may constantly fantasize about sex. These thoughts patterns are not the direct result of emotional pain. This obsessive type of thinking is driven by a positive underlying feeling that has become linked with the behavior obsessively thought about. These types of thoughts require a different approach called the Feeling-State Addiction Protocol. The other type of obsessive thought is when you are trying to change the outcome of the situation. In this situation, you are trying to avoid the P/T of the actual outcome by thinking of behaviors you could have done to make the outcome less painful or fearful. Here are some examples: Charles Behavior: Charles had lost a lucrative contract that would have made him the top salesman in his company. He continues to think about what he could have said or done to change the outcome. Charles thinks about this event everyday sometimes for hours trying to find what he did wrong and what else he could have done. Psychological dynamic: What Charles is trying to do is avoid the emotional pain of failure by rethinking the event. Whether there was anything he could have done to change the outcome is not the point. The obsessive thinking is caused by the need to change the outcome so that he will not have to feel the pain of what actually happened. Solution: The solution is to get Charles to release the pain so that he doesn t have to fight off the feeling of pain by trying to create a different outcome. Joseph Behavior: Joseph has a pattern of charitable giving beyond what he can afford. Psychological dynamic: During Joseph s childhood, his sister was abused by their father. Though he isn t aware of it, he feels guilty because he was unable to intervene. This unacknowledged guilt becomes generalized to other people so that he feels that he has to do something to help others. The problem is that helping others, he ignores his family and sometimes puts them in danger by inviting inappropriate people to his house.

19 Solution: Joseph needs to identify, connect with, and release the pain he feels when his sister was abused by their father. Jackson Behavior. He will sometimes make snarky remarks toward him and spends too much time thinking Psychological dynamic: Jackson feels envy toward his brother for his brother s success in business. He s always thought of him as the favorite of his father and wanted the attention his father gave him brother. Jackson s envy is the result of the pain of wanting something that his brother has that he wants his brother s successful and parental attention. Solution: Jackson needs to release the pain associated with not having gotten what he wanted that his brother did get his father s attention and his brother s success.

20 Instructions for Freeing yourself from obsessive thoughts 1. Write down what you are thinking about. 2. In your thinking, are you trying to change the outcome of what actually happened? 3. If you are trying to change the outcome of what actually happened, focus on what actually happened. What are you saying about yourself in regards to that outcome? Examples are I m not good enough, I never get what I want, I m a loser, I m a failure. 4. Feel the pain of that thought. On a 0 to 10 scale, how intense is the pain? 5. What color is the pain? 6. Take a deep slow breath and imagine that the breath is going into the color. 7. Breathe out very slowly. Imagine that the color is slowly moving out of your body through the pores of your skin. Think of it as a composed of tiny, tiny, tiny particles of color emerging out of your body. Do this at least 3 times. 8. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color the middle of your forehead. Do this at least 3 times. 9. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color your eyes. Do this at least 3 times. 10. Breathe into your chest and breathe the tiny particles of color down your arms and out the palms of your hands. Do this at least 3 times. 11. See your spine as being composed of guitar strings. As you breathe out, release the tension on the guitar strings and see the particles of color radiate out in all directions.

21 12. Breathe into your abdomen and breathe the tiny particles of color down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet. 13. Breathe into your heart and breathe the tiny particles of color out your heart. 14. Breathe into the right side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the right side of your brain. 15. Breathe into the left side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the left side of your brain. 16. Breathe into the front of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the front of your brain. 17. Breathe into the back of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the back of your brain. 18. Breathe into the center of your brain. Visualize the particles of color as being very tiny, tinniest, particles of color. See them radiate in all directions from the center of your brain. 19. Scan your body to see if there is any color left in your body. If there is, breathe into that part of your body and then breathe the tiny particles of color out the pores of your skin in that area. 20. Re-evaluate the pain of the memory: Does it still feel charged when you think of the actual event again and your thought about yourself from step 3? On a 0 to 10 scale, how painful is the memory? 21. When you let yourself think about the situation, are you still thinking about what you could have done to change the outcome? If your are still trying to change the outcome, has the color of the pain changed or are you saying something else about yourself that is painful? If the color has changed and your are still wanting to change the outcome, even if less intensely, repeat the P/TT with the new color. 22. If your emotional reaction is sadness or regret and it is very painful, do the P/TT again on that feeling. 23. Now do the instructions given in Changing Patterns.

22 Releasing the P/T Underlying Anger People feel angry when they feel hurt or scared. Anger covers up the feeling so that the person feels strong and powerful instead. Underlying the anger is a thought that is either painful or fearful. The P/T of thoughts like I m weak, I m stupid, I m unlovable can be covered over by feeling angry. When you are angry, ask yourself, what am I saying about myself that makes me feel weak, powerless, or scared. Then identify the P/T and release it with the P/TT. Example: Jim feels intensely angry at his teacher because he refused to change his grade that he feels that he deserves. Underlying that anger is the memory of boys in elementary school calling him stupid because he couldn t work a math problem at the black board in front of the class. All Jim may be able to identify, however, is the thought of being stupid. The thought of being stupid triggers that memory and the P/T linked with the memory. However, instead of feeling the P/T, Jim reacts with intense anger. When Jim feels the P/T of being stupid, he can release the P/T and the overly intense anger will disappear. Jim still felt some anger at his teacher because he felt unfairly treated, but now his anger was appropriate to the situation. Releasing the P/T underlying anger Instructions: 1. Describe the event that you are angry about. 2. What is the negative belied underlying the anger. Examples: I m stupid, I can t do anything right. 3. Become aware of the P/T of that negative belief. On a 0 10 scale, how intense is it.

23 4. What color is the PT? 5. Take a slow breath and visualize the breath is going into the color. 6. Breathe out very slowly. Imagine that the color is slowly moving out of your body through the pores of your skin. Think of it as composed of tiny, tiny, tiny particles of color emerging out of your body. Do this at least 3 times. 7. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color the middle of your forehead. Do this at least 3 times. 8. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color your eyes. Do this at least 3 times. 9. Breathe into your chest and breathe the tiny particles of color down your arms and out the palms of your hands. Do this at least 3 times. 10. See your spine as being composed of guitar strings. As you breathe out, release the tension on the guitar strings and see the particles of color radiate out in all directions. 11. Breathe into your abdomen and breathe the tiny particles of color down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet. 12. Breathe into your heart and breathe the tiny particles of color out your heart. 13. Breathe into the right side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the right side of your brain. 14. Breathe into the left side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the left side of your brain. 15. Breathe into the front of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the front of your brain. 16. Breathe into the back of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the back of your brain. 17. Breathe into the center of your brain. Visualize the particles of color as being very tiny, tinniest, particles of color. See them radiate in all directions from the center of your brain. 18. Scan your body to see if there is any color left in your body. If there is, breathe into that part of your body and then breathe the tiny particles of color out the pores of your skin in that area.

24 19. Re-evaluate the P/T of the memory: Does it still feel charged when you think of the actual event again and your thought about yourself from step 3? On a 0 to 10 scale, how intense is the memory? 20 When you let yourself think about the situation, are you still thinking about what you could have done to change the outcome? If your are still trying to change the outcome, has the color of the pain changed or are you saying something else about yourself that is painful? If the color has changed and your are still wanting to change the outcome, even if less intensely, repeat this exercise on the new color. 21. If your emotional reaction of sadness or regret and it is painful, do the P/TT again on that feeling. 22. Now do the instructions given in Changing Patterns.

25 Releasing the pain of Guilt People feel guilty when they believe they have done something wrong that has hurt someone else. The feelings of guilt can be rational (you really did something wrong) or irrational (you know that you didn t really do anything wrong but feel guilty all the same.) Whichever is the case, the guilt is caused by the pain underlying the feeling. Release the pain and the guilt will be released as well. Examples: Sean Sean s wife committed suicide because of intense intrusive memories of children dying after an earthquake. As a nurse, she tried to save many of them, but three children died in spite of her best efforts. She felt responsible for their deaths even though logically he knew that he had done everything that he could. Sean was seeking therapy to help him work through his feelings that he should have/could have done more to help his wife. Sean was depressed and obsessively thinking about what he could have done to change the outcome. The Emotional Dynamic: Sean experienced feels of guilt because he felt he should have done something to prevent his wife s suicide. He kept thinking and rethinking the event trying to find someplace, some event, where he could have done something differently. He would ruminate obsessively over memories of being with his wife where he should have been able to be notice what was going to happen. He knows that she had refused help and had given no indication that she was suicidal. But Sean could still not forgive himself no matter how logically he and others could explain that her death was not his fault. At the child level of mind, Sean was equating pain with guilt and shame (Pain = I m bad). Because he felt guilty, he kept thinking back to the events leading up to his wife s death trying to find something he could have done differently. The solution: The solution for Sean was to release the pain that was causing the feelings of guilt. First, Sean acknowledged and identified the feelings of guilt resulting from his fiancées death. Then he identified the color of the pain and the pain s location in his body. After doing the PRT, Sean no longer felt guilt or responsible for his wife s death. He was able to distance himself from her suicide and had a more realistic understanding of what happened. Even though Sean no longer felt guilty, he still had some intense memories about his wife s suicide. Those were processed using the standard EMDR protocol.

26 David David is a 40 year old male presenting with a pattern of relationships in which he feels that he has to rescue women. When he was a child, he witnessed his older sister being physically abuse by his mother. David states that he feels guilty about his sister s abuse because he should have done something about it. Even though intellectually he knows that there was nothing he could have done, he still feels guilt and that guilt affects his current relationships. He then tries to rescue women because he will then feel less guilt and therefore less emotional pain. David s real problem is the emotional pain he suffered witnessing his sister s abuse. Witnessing the abuse not only made him feel powerless and helpless and emotional pain as well. Because he felt emotional pain, he therefore felt he was bad which resulted in feeling of guilt and shame. As long as he feels the emotional pain in regards to that event, he will continue to feel that he is bad (guilt and/or shame). He currently acts out of this bad self-feeling by rescuing women. The solution is for David to release the emotional pain of witnessing the abuse of his sister. Then the bad feelings about himself will clear. So the focus on treatment is not to confront the feelings of guilt or shame, but to release the emotional pain. Releasing the pain underlying guilt 1. Identify the memory that you feel guilty or shameful about. Describe it. 2. On a 1-10 scale, how intense is the guilt or shame. 3. Does the guilt or shame feel painful or fearful? 4. What color is the P/T? 5. Take a slow breath and visualize the breath going into the color. 6. Breathe the color out very slowly. Visualize the color slowly moving out of your body through the pores of your skin. Think of it as tiny, tiny, tiny particles of color emerging and flowing out of your body. Do this at least 3 times.

27 7. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color out the middle of your forehead. Do this at least 3 times. 8. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color out your eyes. Do this at least 3 times. 9. Breathe into your chest and breathe the tiny particles of color down your arms and out the palms of your hands. Do this at least 3 times. 10. See your spine as being composed of guitar strings. As you breathe out, release the tension on the guitar strings and see the particles of color radiate out in all directions. 11. Breathe into your abdomen and breathe the tiny particles of color down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet. 12. Breathe into your heart and breathe the tiny particles of color out your heart. 13. Breathe into the right side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the right side of your brain. 14. Breathe into the left side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the left side of your brain. 15. Breathe into the front of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the front of your brain. 16. Breathe into the back of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the back of your brain. 17. Breathe into the center of your brain. Visualize the particles of color as being very tiny, tinniest, particles of color. See them radiate in all directions from the center of your brain. 18. Scan your body to see if there is any color left in your body. If there is, breathe into that part of your body and then breathe the tiny particles of color out the pores of your skin in that area. 19. Re-evaluate the pain of the memory: Does it still feel charged when you think of the actual event again and your thought about yourself from step 3? On a 0 to 10 scale, how painful is the memory? 20. When you think of the event, how charged, on a 0 10 scale, is the feeling of guilt or shame.

28 21. If your emotional reaction of sadness or regret and it is too painful, do the P/TT again on that feeling. 22. Now do the instructions given in Changing Patterns.

29 Releasing the P/T underlying shame Important: Shame can result from either pain or terror depending on the situation. Feelings of shame occur when a person s behavior or some other attribute of the person lies outside the norms of the group. This person hasn t just done something bad, but is something bad. Because the person is bad, the person doesn't belong in the group. If the feeling of shame occurs within the context of rejection by the family, the person experiences feelings of abandonment. Abandonment for a child means death. In this context, therefore, underlying the feeing of shame is the feeling of terror. If the rejection occurs within the context of a group such as a other children, rejection does not feel like a death sentence. In this situation, the feeling of pain underlies the shame. So clearing shame requires identifying whether the shame is painful or fearful. 1. Identify the memory that you feel shameful about. Describe it. 2. On a 1-10 scale, how intense is the guilt or shame. 3. Does the guilt or shame feel painful or fearful? 4. What color is the P/T? 5. Take a slow breath and visualize the breath going into the color. 6. Breathe the color out very slowly. Visualize the color slowly moving out of your body through the pores of your skin. Think of it as tiny, tiny, tiny particles of color emerging and flowing out of your body. Do this at least 3 times. 7. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color out the middle of your forehead. Do this at least 3 times.

30 8. Breathe into the middle of your brain and breathe the tiny particles of color out your eyes. Do this at least 3 times. 9. Breathe into your chest and breathe the tiny particles of color down your arms and out the palms of your hands. Do this at least 3 times. 10. See your spine as being composed of guitar strings. As you breathe out, release the tension on the guitar strings and see the particles of color radiate out in all directions. 11. Breathe into your abdomen and breathe the tiny particles of color down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet. 12. Breathe into your heart and breathe the tiny particles of color out your heart. 13. Breathe into the right side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the right side of your brain. 14. Breathe into the left side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the left side of your brain. 15. Breathe into the front of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the front of your brain. 16. Breathe into the back of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the back of your brain. 17. Breathe into the center of your brain. Visualize the particles of color as being very tiny, tinniest, particles of color. See them radiate in all directions from the center of your brain. 18. Scan your body to see if there is any color left in your body. If there is, breathe into that part of your body and then breathe the tiny particles of color out the pores of your skin in that area. 19. Re-evaluate the pain of the memory: Does it still feel charged when you think of the actual event again and your thought about yourself from step 3? On a 0 to 10 scale, how painful is the memory? 20. When you think of the event, how charged, on a 0 10 scale, is the feeling of guilt or shame. 21. If your emotional reaction of sadness or regret and it is too painful, do the P/TT again on that feeling.

31 22. Now do the instructions given in Changing Patterns. The Pain/Terror Technique (General Instructions) The Pain/Terror Technique (P/TT) releases the emotional pain associated with painful memories. This technique is easy to do and the patient can do it on their own for a variety of painful memories. When doing the breathing into the color, it is not necessary or useful to take a deep breathe. Just breathe normally. Close your eyes and sit comfortably, legs uncrossed. 1. Identify the P/T memory. 2. What color (sound) is the P/T? 3. Where is the color (sound) located in the body? 4. Visualize breathing into where that color (sound) is in the body. 5. Visualize the color as being composed of very tiny, tiny particles of color. 6. Visualize the particles of color coming out of your body start with where the color is located, coming directly through the skin like a thick fog or stream. The outbreath should be very slow. 7. Breathe the tiny, tiny, tiny particles of (color or sound) out of different areas of the body. Start with breathing into the middle of the brain and breathing out the center of the forehead. Do this 3 times. 8. Breathe into the middle of the brain and then breathe/flow the tiny color-particles out your eyes. 3 times. 9. Breathe into your chest and breathe/flow the tiny color-particles down the arms out the palms. 3 times. 10. See your spine as being composed of guitar strings. As you breathe out, release the tension on the guitar strings and see the particles of color radiate out in all directions. 11. Breathe into your abdomen and breathe the tiny particles of color down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet.

32 12. Breathe into your heart and breathe the tiny particles of color out your heart. 13. Breathe into the right side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the right side of your brain. 14. Breathe into the left side of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the left side of your brain. 15. Breathe into the front of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the front of your brain. 16. Breathe into the back of your brain. Breathe the tiny, tiny particles of color out the back of your brain. 17. Breathe into the center of your brain. Visualize the particles of color as being very tiny, tinniest, particles of color. See them radiate in all directions from the center of your brain. 18. Scan your body to see if there is any color left in your body. If there is, breathe into that part of your body and then breathe the tiny particles of color out the pores of your skin in that area. 19. When the report is that there is nothing left, re-evaluate the event. Remember the event. Does the event still feel charged? If there is any guilt, shame or anxiety related to that event, then there is more feeling to be processed. A reaction of sadness, grief, or regret means that the P/T has been released. 20. If the sadness, grief, or regret is causing more pain, repeat the P/TT on that feeling. 21. Now do the instructions given in Changing Patterns.

33 Changing your self-image (or what you think about yourself) Your self-image is a collection of your thoughts and feelings you believe about yourself. You acquired these thoughts and feelings through the many experiences you have had in your life some negative and some positive. The way in which people have treated you, the events you have witnessed, the way you have treated others, all contribute to your self-image. In some areas of life you may see yourself as smart and other areas, stupid. You may think of yourself as a good person in some ways and a bad person in other ways. For example, you might think of yourself as a generous person when it comes to helping people but a bad person when it comes to sex. As describe earlier, your negative self thoughts and feelings persist because of the pain or terror that underlies them. Without the P/T linked with those thoughts and feelings, you would have automatically changed those thoughts and feelings because of all the other experiences you have had that contradicted those negative thoughts. In other words, the P/T blocks your ability to change the negative thoughts and feelings. No one, after all, wants to think or feel something that triggers feelings of pain or fear. Without the pain or fear, the mind is free to re-evaluate those negative thoughts and feelings. As you release the P/T of your negative self-image, you do not need to attempt to create a positive self-image. You do not need to make affirmations or install a positive belief. Positive thoughts and feelings will automatically begin to emerge because there is no obstacle to their emergence. People often feel that they want to feel important or special or competent. However, people only want to have these feelings because they feel unimportant, worthless, or incompetent. What emerges after doing the P/TRT is less self-consciousness. Without the P/T obstacle, you can live in the zone of action that is talked about in sports and creativity. Instructions for changing your self-image 1. Write down a negative thought or feeling you have about yourself. 2. On a 1-10 scale, how intense is the negative thought.