WHY YOU ALWAYS...? LEARNING EACH OTHERS PERSONALITY DYNAMICS FOR BETTER COMMUNICATION IN YOUR MARRIAGE UNDERSTANDING YOU WIRED THAT WAY!

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1 WHY YOU ALWAYS...? LEARNING EACH OTHERS PERSONALITY DYNAMICS FOR BETTER COMMUNICATION IN YOUR MARRIAGE UNDERSTANDING YOU WIRED THAT WAY! POPULAR SANGUINE LET S DO IT THE FUN WAY. POWERFUL CHOLERIC LET S DO IT MY WAY. PERFECT MELANCHOLY LET S DO IT THE RIGHT WAY. PEACEFUL PHLEGMATIC LET S DO IT THE EASY WAY.

2 YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE! Psalm 139:14King James Version (KJV) 14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. The Lord has designed each of us very specifically and individually. We re blessed that He has given us insight into one another by giving us perfectly assigned personality traits. No one trait is better than or less than the other, but all are vitally important in how we function in every area of our lives, including our marriages. You re fearfully and wonderfully made, now let s see how you re wired

3 POPULAR SANGUINE Place in the Team: Creative person Emotional Needs: Attention, acceptance as is, affection, approval Best at: Making initial contact with people Creating enthusiasm and excitement Encouraging and uplifting others Ensuring the group has fun Is Apt to Be: Too easily distracted and forgetful Presentation Style: Humorous and with a light touch Warning: Can come on off happy or cute Not considered serious or believable Don t let them handle money Realize they need fun and adventure!

4 POWERFUL CHOLERIC Place in the Team: Leadership person Emotional Needs: Loyalty, sense of control, appreciation, accomplishment Best at: Motivating people to action Controlling the plans and productivity Giving quick and clear instructions Making sure the group sees the immediate gain Is Apt to be: Too impulsive and intimidating Presentation Style: Authoritative and convincing Warning: May come on too overpowering Seems to look down on others Often intimidates less confident people Realize they need action and excitement!

5 PEACEFUL PHLEGMATIC Place in the Team: Support Person Emotional Needs: Peace and quiet, feeling of worth, lack of stress, respect Best At: Making sure the group is relaxed and comfortable Always finding a middle ground Staying calm and functional amidst chaos Not overreacting to a negative situation Is Apt to be: Too undisciplined and indecisive Presentation Style: Believable Warning: May come across as too low-key, dull or lazy Appears too unenthusiastic and unconvinced Don t count on them for motivation Realize they need rest and some quiet time!

6 PERFECT MELANCHOLY Place in the Team: Detail person Emotional Needs: Sensitivity, support when down, space, silence Best at: Planning ad explaining the details Keeping the financial records straight Being sensitive to the needs of others Making sure the group sees the long-range goal Is Apt to Be: Too easily distracted and critical Presentation Style: Accurate and sincere Warning: Might come across too intellectual and remote May make others feel less intelligent Can get lost in the details Realize they need order and understanding!

7 ANALYZE Introverted, Pessimistic, Soft spoken PERSONALITY TEMPERAMENTS Basic Desire: Have Attention Affection Approval Acceptance Controls By: Charm Popular Sanguine PLAY Witty, Easygoing, Goal Oriented LEAD Extroverted, Optimistic, Outspoken Basic Desire: Have Control Emotional Needs: Loyalty Sense of Control Appreciation Credit for Work Controls By: Threat of Anger Powerful Choleric WORK Decisive, Organized, Goal Oriented Basic Desire: Have Peace Emotional Needs: Peace and Quiet Feeling of Worth Lack of Stress Respect Controls By: Procrastination Peaceful Phlegmatic Basic Desires: Have Perfection Emotional Needs: Sensitivity Support Space Silence Controls By: Threat of Moods Perfect Melancholy

8 ARE YOU LIVING IN YOUR STRENGTHS OR WEAKNESSES? Each personality type has strengths and weaknesses of that personality. Review the back page of your evaluation and let s examine the strengths and weaknesses and them discuss with one another whether you identify with any of those traits for YOURSELF!

9 NATURAL PERSONALITY BLENDS PB&J THESE BLENDS NATURALLY HAVE A TENDENCY TO GO TOGETHER (THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE PERFECT) MAY COMPETE FOR LEADERSHIP. POPULAR SANGUINE/POWERFUL CHOLERIC PERFECT MELANCHOLY/PEACEFUL PHLEGMATIC POWERFUL CHOLERIC/PERFECT MELANCHOLY PEACEFUL PHLEGMATIC/POPULAR SANGUINE

10 OPPOSING PERSONALITY BLENDS OPPOSITES ATTRACT ENSURE YOU BOTH ARE SENSITIVE TO ONE ANOTHERS DIFFERENCES AND HOW YOU FUNCTION. DON T ATTEMPT TO OVERPOWER WITH YOUR PERSONALITY. POWERFUL CHOLERIC/PERFECT MELANCHOLY POPULAR SANGUINE/PERFECT MELANCHOLY POWERFUL CHOLERIC/PEACEFUL PHLEGMATIC

11 HOW EACH PERSONALITY TEMPERAMENT FUNCTIONS IN THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP A strong marriage honestly examines its assets and liabilities and then makes a plan of action to either become better together or function in the same ole same ole. Let s examine how each temperament has a tendency to see marriage. Do any of these resonate with you?

12 FINANCIAL MATTERS LACK BUDGETING, ACCOUNTING AND RETIREMENT PLANNING POPULAR SANGUINE THE FUN MARRIAGE ASSETS SPONTANEOUS EXCITING ENTHUSIASTIC KEEP MARRIAGE FRESH FLEXIBLE COMPROMISING FORGIVING PLAY WITH CHILDREN CREATIVE SEX LIABILITIES LACK OF PLANS AND GOALS UNSTABLE FLIRTATIOUS MESSY NO ONE LISTENS RELATIONSHIP REMAINS SUPERFICIAL FALL TO PUT DOWN ROOTS BLURRED GENERATIONAL BOUNDARIES

13 POWERFUL CHOLERIC THE ACTIVE MARRIAGE ASSETS GOAL ORIENTED CLEAR BOUNDARIES HIGH ACCOMPLISHMENTS RESPECT EACH OTHER HIGH ENERGY CHAMPIONING CAUSES FIRM PARENTS QUICK SEX LIABILITIES STRUGGLE FOR CONTROL OVERCOMMITTED AND LATE NOT TIME FOR RELATIONSHIP TWO CAREERS PULLING ON MARRIAGE MARRIAGE A LOW PRIORITY BLURRING OF PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES SHOUTING CONTESTS FEAR OF SHARING

14 PEACEFUL PHLEGMATIC THE RELAXED MARRIAGE ASSETS STABLE AGREEABLE CONTENT LOW PRESSURE SATISFIED MODEST LACK OF DIRECTION PATIENT WITH CHILDREN SPECIAL-EVENT SEX LIABILITIES LOW ACCOMPLISHMENTS LACK OF PLANNING KIDS CAN TAKE OVER DULL CONTROL IS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE LACK OF COMMUNICATION LOSS OF INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY BLURRED GENERATIONAL BOUNDARIES FEAR OF CONFLICT

15 PERFECT MELANCHOLY THE ORGANIZED MARRIAGE ASSETS LIABILITIES NEAT HOME LONG-RANGE PLANS FINANCIAL ORDER PUNCTUAL VALUE EDUCATION REMEMBER IMPORTANT DATES COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER LOVING AND PROTECTIVE WITH CHILDREN ROMANTIC SEX CRITICAL DANGER OF MID-LIFE CRISIS DEPRESSED AND BROODING KEEP RECORD OF WRONGS REINFORCE EACH OTHER S NEGATIVITY STUCK IN ROUTINES MAY BE UNFAITHFUL REPEAT MALADAPTIVE BEHAVIORS HIGH EXPECTATIONS PLACE HEAVY BURDEN ON RELATIONSHIPS

16 YOU RE JUST WIRED THAT WAY!!! IF YOU KNOW HOW YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE ARE WIRED THEN YOU BOTH CAN BEGIN TO COMMUNICATE WITH ONE ANOTHER IN WAYS THAT ARE MORE EFFECTIVE AND IN A MANNER IN WHICH YOU LL BE HEARD. THIS DOESN T JUST APPLY TO MARRIAGE. YOU LL NOW BE ABLE TO DETERMINE THE PERSONALITY TEMPERAMENT OF YOUR CHILDREN AND MANY FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS. DON T YOU LOVE THAT THE LORD LOVES US SO MUCH AND DESIRES FOR US TO BE RELATIONAL, THAT HE GIVES US BEAUTIFUL INSIGHT INTO EXACTLY HOW TO TOUCH THE HEART OF ONE ANOTHER AND COMMUNICATE IN A WAY THAT SPECIFICALLY SPEAKS TO OUR SPOUSES DISTINCT PERSONALITY. YOU RE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE BY DESIGN...YOU RE WIRED THAT WAY!

17 WIRED THAT WAY A comprehensive guide to understanding and maximizing your personality type Authors: Marita Littauer with insights from Florence Littauer Based on the teachings of: Marita Littauer & Florence Littauer

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