Youth Mentoring: A guide for mentors with practical application of communication

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1 Yuth Mentring 1 Yuth Mentring: A guide fr mentrs with practical applicatin f cmmunicatin principles t facilitate interpersnal relatinships and yuth develpment. A Thesis Prject Schl f Prfessinal Studies Gnzaga University Under the Supervisin f Jhn Caput, Ph.D. Under the Mentrship f Heather Crandall, Ph.D. Department f Cmmunicatin and Leadership Studies In Partial Fulfillment Of the Requirements fr the Degree Master f Arts in Cmmunicatin and Leadership Studies By Erin Camille Wilsn Nvember 21, 2011

2 Yuth Mentring 2 We the undersigned, certify that we read this prject r thesis and apprve it as adequate in scpe and quality fr the degree Master f Arts. rapeeu rfilnreg 'slrvj Gnzaga University MA Prgram in Cmmunicatin and Leadership Studies

3 Yuth Mentring 3 Abstract As individuals, we believe we have the unique ability t chse ur paths and carve ut ur destiny in America. As we sculpt ur path, thrugh a variety f decisins, ur relatinships ften serve as a gverning frce develping ur persn alng ur jurney. Due t their influential nature, this prject explres the pwer f mentr mentee relatinships as it relates t yuth develpment. Grunded in the thery f transcendence, the scial penetratin thery and the uncertainty reductin thery, this prject investigates yuth mentring and its psitive influence n three basic parameters: scial and emtinal effect, cgnitive effect, and identity develpment. Research suggests mentrs ften lack the cnfidence t effectively establish this relatinship, especially if their mentee is cnsidered high-risk r frm a different cultural backgrund. This prject is a manual t guide the develpment f interpersnal cmmunicatin, the vital cmpnent f intimate relatinships. Shuld this manual be implemented in mentr training prgrams, mentrs may be able t mre quickly and effectively establish meaningful relatinships that may ultimately lead t better, mre sustained yuth develpment.

4 Yuth Mentring 4 TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION 5 Gal f Prject Imprtance f Prject and Statement f Prblem Definitins f Terms Used.. 8 Organizatin f Remaining Chapters.9 CHAPTER 2: REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE Philsphical and Ethical Assumptins...11 Theretical Basis The Literature Research Questins CHAPTER 3: SCOPE AND METHODOLOGY Scpe f the Study Methdlgy f the Study CHAPTER 4: THE PROJECT Intrductin Data Analysis Results f the Study Discussin CHAPTER 5: SUMMARIES AND CONCLUSIONS Limitatins f the Prject Recmmendatins fr Further Study Cnclusins REFERENCES APPENDIX Survey Questins Manual Outline

5 Yuth Mentring 5 CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION Mentring as a practice dates back t early refrm initiatives attempting t capitalize n the prpsed benefit f cupling an accmplished, reliable adult with a misguided and trubled teen. The United States began using mentring appraches in cnjunctin with yuth refrm initiatives ver a century ag (Rhdes & DuBis, 2008) in hpes f keeping yuth n the right track and ut f the system. This usage f adult guidance t steer children in the right directin and ut f the curt system gave innercity and at-risk teens a new utlet fr supprt. Mentring prgrams quickly began t target children that were mre likely, perhaps due t family circumstance r ecnmic status, past recrd r negligent envirnment, t end up in the curt systems r in jail (Jekielek, Mre, Hair, & Scarp, 2002). The gal was t keep kids in schl and ut f plice custdy. When these yuth/adult relatinships began t achieve anecdtal success, the fcus was n lnger slely n at-risk juveniles but rather n a brader range f yuth in underfunded r underprivileged areas, that culd benefit frm adult guidance (Jekielek et al., 2002; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). Grassrts rganizatins and scially cnscius nn-prfits sn tk up the batn and began develping prgrams targeting a wider variety f yuth and fcusing n cmmunity invlvement rather than traditinal at-risk children (DuBis, Dlittle, Yates, Silverthrn, & Tebes, 2006). This gave rise t such well-knwn rganizatins tday like Big Brthers Big Sisters f America (BBBSA) whse missin became serving the needs f America s yuth. Nw mre than three millin yuth natinwide participate in mentring prgrams (Checkway & Gutiérrez, 2006). Federal funding fr these prgrams has increased

6 Yuth Mentring 6 dramatically frm apprximately 100 millin dllars annually in cngressinal apprpriatins since 2004 alne (Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). Prgram invlvement ranges frm curt rdered mentring t lcal schl vlunteering. They vary frm natinally affiliated rganizatins with public and private funding t cmmunity start-ups. What began as an attempt t jump start yuth refrm has becme a natinal phenmenn. Gal f Prject Clearly mentring has evlved in a scially cnscius envirnment that sees a place fr yuth develpment. This evlutin cntinues thrugh increased scial mindfulness, media awareness, and schlarly investigatin surrunding its cntributin t yuth develpment. Academia has cntributed t ur cmprehensin nt nly f hw yuth is develped thrugh these relatinships but als what these relatinships mean, what type f cmmunicatin aids in their frmatin, their success and their failure. What we nw knw is this particular type f interactin hinges n the grwth and success f interpersnal relatinship develpment whse primary cnduit is interpersnal cmmunicatin (Barnard-Brak, et al., 2010). We als knw that interpersnal cmmunicatin is ften hindered by the uncertainty surrunding the mentr/mentee relatinship (Berger, 1979; Berger & Calabrese, 1975). The gal f this prject is t prvide mentrs a fundatin t better understand the cncepts f interpersnal cmmunicatin, despite inevitable uncertainties, t guide mre effective and apprpriate relatinship develpment. Thrugh the creatin f a manual, this prject was ultimately designed t ffer mentrs a guide t establishing meaningful bnds with their mentees, especially when engaging in relatinships with high-risk and culturally diverse yuth.

7 Yuth Mentring 7 Imprtance f Prject and Statement f Prblem This supprt is necessary fr tw main reasns. First, the implicatins f mentring and their effect n yuth directly crrelate t psitive yuth develpment. Fr sme yuth this develpment means a sht at cllege and a better life fr themselves and their families. Fr thers, this psitive relatinship may be the catalyst t prmpt a child t avid the life f additin and chsing t live instead. Due t the significant influence f this relatinship and its ptential utcmes, mentrs have an pprtunity t make a difference in the life f a child. Their ability t make this difference is directly crrelated t their level f intimacy within their mentr/mentee relatinship. Nt nly d mentrs fail t recgnize the weight f their impact n their mentee they als lack the knwledge f hw t effectively establish that bnd n a significant level. Nt nly d mentrs lack the understanding f their ptential t impact a yuth r t effectually frm a meaningful bnd, mentrs als lack the cnfidence r supprt t venture utside f their cmfrt zne and mentr yuth frm a different status r cultural backgrund. While all yuth benefit frm a mentr the vast are at-risk and the vast majrity f mentrs are-middle class, Caucasian/Eur-American. This can lead t increased relatinal uncertainty largely due t cultural dissnance and thus an inability fr mentrs t frm a relatinship with their mentee. Depending n the mentrs wn backgrund r life experience, sme mentrs shy away frm mentring due t this uncertainty. If mentrs had a resurce t guide their cmmunicatin and the develpment f their relatinships with their mentees, despite their status r ethnicity, wuld mre mentrs vlunteer their time? The hpe f this prject is t demystify yuth

8 Yuth Mentring 8 f different status r cultural backgrund and encurage mre adults t engage and becme invlved in the life f a child. Definitins f Terms Used At-risk/high-risk yuth: a yuth exhibiting negative behavirs including but nt limited t negative parental structure, deterirating parental structure, vilence, substance abuse, gang activity, sexually prmiscuity, r disruptive behavir in schl is ften categrized as at-risk r high-risk. If the yuth cmes frm a lw sciecnmic backgrund, they may als be cnsidered at-risk. Case study: Case studies are a cmmn tl utilized t retrspectively analyze r explain a situatin. In this case they are a descriptive accunt used t explre an underlying principle. Interpersnal cmmunicatin: This type f cmmunicatin directly impacts the develpment f interpersnal relatinships. It helps us understand human behavir and ffer ratinale fr why and hw peple cmmunicate, behave, and als cnstruct their realities. Often cnsidered its wn area f study, interpersnal cmmunicatin is best described as a prcess used t cnvey ur thughts, feelings, ideas, and beliefs t anther persn. Interpersnal cmmunicatin is accmplished thrugh the sharing f messages, the uncvering and imparting f knwledge, feedback and reflectin. Schlars Caput, Hazel, and McMahn (1994) psit interpersnal cmmunicatin is an ever-changing transactinal sharing that develps between peple wh are finding meaning with each ther and cme t knw ne anther better as their relatinship tends t mve frm impersnal t persnal (p. 8). Mentee: An apprentice r prtégée, a persn receiving mentring.

9 Yuth Mentring 9 Mentr: Smene t trust as a friend r cunselr wh is wiser and mre experienced in life than their mentee. Mentring: Mentring is a prcess f relatinship develpment, thrugh cmmunicatin, with the gal f impacting a mentee. Mentring is a prcess fr the infrmal transmissin f knwledge, scial capital, and the psychscial supprt perceived by the recipient as relevant t wrk, career, r prfessinal develpment; mentring entails infrmal cmmunicatin, usually face-t-face and during a sustained perid f time, between a persn wh is perceived t have greater relevant knwledge, wisdm, r experience (the mentr) and a persn wh is perceived t have less (the prtégé) (Retrieved Nvember, 19, 2011). Organizatin f Remaining Chapters This thesis prject is divided int five chapters. The first chapter intrduces the mentring and the need fr better supprt fr mentrs. Chapter Tw rganized the available literature n yuth develpment and mentring. Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylr s (1973) scial penetratin thery was explred since interpersnal cmmunicatin requires the develpment f intimacy thrugh a gradual prcess f selfdisclsure, vluntary sharing, and ther frms f vulnerability (Altman & Taylr). (Griffin, 2009, p. 113). Charles Berger s (1975) uncertainty reductin thery was als used t evaluate the challenges f develping interpersnal cmmunicatin and then t utline the specific ways in which interpersnal cmmunicatin can be enhanced in this dynamic. The literature review prceeds t explre the cnnectin between mentr and mentee, mentring s perceived benefits and its specific rle in yuth develpment. This

10 Yuth Mentring 10 rle is examined in the cntext f the yuth s ptential status as at-risk, as well as their cultural rientatin. Chapter Three utlines the scpe and methdlgy f the prject while Chapter Fur utlines the creatin f the manual. The manual explains basic cmmunicatin principles and describes hw uncertainty can hinder relatinship develpment and stresses the imprtance f mentring and its ability t create psitive change in a child s life. The manual als includes a cmpilatin f case studies gathered frm mentrs acrss the cuntry. These situatinal experiences and their utcmes serve as case studies t supprt and further infrm and guide mentrs thrugh the experience f thers. Chapter Five cncludes this thesis prject and discusses the results.

11 Yuth Mentring 11 CHAPTER II: REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE Relatinships are ften accused f being the sle purpse fr human existence. A relatinship with Gd r with sme inherently gd universal being, finding a partner in life, a lver, a best friend, many wuld argue these relatinships are the reasn peple exist. We breathe each day t laugh, t lve, and t share this wrld with thers. This sharing creates a life where ur relatinships shape and guide the develpment f ur persn. As we share urselves we uncver just as much abut urselves as we uncver in anther. We each take these pieces f self-discvery and knwledge with us int every new relatinship and experience (Shepherd, Jhn & Striphas, 2006). This prject will examined the intricate nature f relatinships and the influence they exhibit n persnal develpment. Specifically, this prject will investigate the necessary cmpnents f relatinship develpment between a yuth and an adult mentr. The literature will seek t understand what type f bnd is necessary t establish a relatinship between a mentr and mentee and what ptential factrs may inhibit its develpment. The literature will als seek t uncver available resurces fr mentrs and ptential gaps in supprt prvided during their tenure as a mentr. Philsphical Assumptins By their very nature relatinships have the ability t serve as a cnduit fr bth psitive and negative expressins and experiences (Griffin, 2009). T cmprehend relatinships we must realize they are mre than a cnvenient establishment f shared indulgence r cmmnalities (Berger, 1977). Relatinships are the peple and the invlvements that shape ur lives and serve as the measuring stick f ur experiences with which we assess future individuals and circumstances (Griffin, 2009). Gregry

12 Yuth Mentring 12 Shepherd (2006) explained the significance f the bnds relatinships create thrugh transcendence. He further explains relatinships, and the cmmunicatin that takes place within them, as a pathway t shaping urselves thrugh thse interactins (Shepherd, Jhn & Striphas, 2006). Shepherd (2006) believes that as we cmmunicate we share urselves, ur persn and the significance f the experience f ne anther that we share each f us becming mre, nt by ur actins alne, but because f ur interactin (p. 25), affects us bth individually and cllectively. As we indulge in the knwledge f each ther we als heighten ur awareness f urselves and simultaneusly redefine ur perspectives, ur views, and ur very nature (Griffin, 2009; Shepherd, Jhn & Striphas, 2006). Withut intentin ur relatinships shape us, they have pwer. They have the ability t determine r play a rle in the determinatin f what and wh we are as individuals. Given their influential nature, and status as a driving frce f develpment, relatinships are where this prject will fcus. Theretical Basis Academia has cntributed t ur cmprehensin nt nly f hw yuth is develped thrugh mentr/mentee relatinship but als what these relatinships mean, what type f cmmunicatin aids in their frmatin, their success and their failure. What we nw knw is this particular type f interactin hinges n the grwth and success f interpersnal relatinship develpment whse primary cnduit is interpersnal cmmunicatin (Barnard-Brak, et al., 2010). This significant experience f establishing a cmmn bnd while simultaneusly becming mre self-aware and autnmus is perhaps the reasn the relatinship matters

13 Yuth Mentring 13 s much in mentring. Shepherd (2006) psits, [a relatinship s] highest purpse is affecting us and ptentially guiding the frmatin f ur character. This ptential t mld and affect is why schlars identify relatinships as the key t effective mentring and effective interpersnal cmmunicatin, the sharing f self, their cnduit (Griffin, 2009). Scial Penetratin Thery Accrding t Capella (1987) [i]nterpersnal cmmunicatin affects interpersnal relatinships, and relatinship states influence the cmmunicative activity f thse invlved in them (Salwen & Stacks, p. 279). Relatinships, with any multitude f characterizatins, rely n cmmunicatin t bth sustain and grw the partnership. Specifically, they rely n interpersnal cmmunicatin t determine their depth and breadth and nurture their evlutin (Altman & Taylr, 1973). The afrementined benefits f mentring require the mentr and mentee develp a clse and meaningful bnd bth established thrugh their verbal and nnverbal cmmunicatin (Deutsch & Spencer, 2009; Jekielek et al., 2006; Karcher & Nakkula, 2010; Pedersen, 2009; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). While establishing this bnd thrugh interpersnal cmmunicatin is necessary, many mentrs functin in a mentr/mentee relatinship withut the prper knwledge f hw t establish this type f cmmunicatin and thus this type f relatinship (Rhdes, 2005; Rhdes et al., 2006; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). This, leads t a deficit in the ability f a mentr t apprpriately nurture a relatinship with a yuth, develp and prmte psitive influence (Rhdes, 2005; Rhdes & Chan, 2008; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008).

14 Yuth Mentring 14 The scial penetratin thery essentially explains hw cmmunicatin perpetuates either the grwth r the decline f interpersnal relatinships thrugh a series f vulnerabilities either enhancing r negating interpersnal intimacy. Altman and Taylr (1973) quantified these behavirs in an interpersnal ecnmy in which was all take stck f the relatinal value f thers we meet (Griffin, 2009, p. 91). They likened individuals t having an nin-like persnality, scafflding with multiple layers f feelings and beliefs abut the wrld and als themselves (Griffin, 2009). They believed as peple take stck f their relatinships they prgress thrugh the depth f penetratin r degree f intimacy then established. This intimacy is perpetuated as individuals self-disclse, the very nature f which prmpts thers t reciprcate the exchange (Anseel & Lievens, 2007). This cmmunicatin guides the interactin beynd superficial niceties t intimate layers f knwledge and sharing (Altman & Taylr, 1973). This gradual, layered prcess cntinues as lng as each persn remains pen with in their cmmunicatin and perceives a reward beynd the cst f disclsing persnal, ften private infrmatin t ne anther (Griffin, 2009). While this perceived reward/cst analysis, per each individual interactin, is described by Altman (1973) as a smth prcess with an inevitable track Knapp (1972) prpsed instead that relatinships are less abut establishing intimacy thrugh selfdisclsure and mre abut ppsing dialectical frces. In his view, this smth trajectry tward intimacy and the develpment f relatinships was hindered by individual desires that were cnflicting, thwarting self disclsure and discuraging vulnerability necessary t cntinually peel back the layers f knwledge f anther (Knapp, 1972). Fr example, an individual may desire freedm while als wanting t cnnect with anther (Salwen &

15 Yuth Mentring 15 Stacks, 1996). This creates tensin in the relatinship equating t increased variability and relatinship deteriratin rather than cntinuity (Knapp, 1972) Tensins and variability are unavidable and while they may lead t a stilted r less smth trajectry fr relatinship develpment they are als factred int Altman and Taylr s (1973) thery highlighting the need fr cnstant interpersnal cmmunicatin. This pen, purpseful cmmunicatin prmtes the prgressin f first the superficial t intimate levels f exchange as a functin f bth immediate and frecast utcmes (Griffin, p. 114). As the depth and breadth f the relatinship is established, s is the interpersnal cnnectin, which grws with each persn. The theretical mdel Altman and Taylr (1973) established weighs an individual s ability t cmmunicatin and disclse infrmatin with the expectatin f reciprcity, as the mitigating factr in establishing an interpersnal relatinship. This thery explains the emphasis n interpersnal cmmunicatin t establish a relatinship with a child as a requirement t psitively effect yuth develpment. Each persn, mentr r yuth, has layers f themselves they are willing t disclse t a stranger (Anseel & Lievens, 2007). This expectatin f establishing a relatinship cannt be separated hwever frm the awkwardness r uncertainty f initial interactins with strangers and the difficulty f navigating the unknwn t achieve this intimacy (Rhdes et al., 2006; Rhdes and DuBis, 2008). The uncertainty surrunding relatinships and its reductin is a cre mechanism in the develpment f interpersnal cmmunicatin, intimacy, and relatinships (Berger & Calabrese, 1975; Theiss & Slmn, 2008). Uncertainty Reductin Thery

16 Yuth Mentring 16 Empirical evidence suggests high levels f uncertainty limit the knwledge necessary t establish intimacy (Theiss & Slmn, 2008, p. 627) and crrespnds t a diminished liking. Knblch and Slmn (2005) als discvered that uncertainty thwarts an individual s ability t make assumptins r derive inferences thrugh relatinal cues abut their relatinships. Individuals may have uncertainty nt nly abut the persn they are engaged in a relatinship with but als the state f their relatinship (Berger & Gudykunst, 1991). This uncertainty is ften the reasn relatinships fail (Clatterbuck, 1979). There is a fundamental lack f understanding and knwledge abut the ther persn and their perceptin due t uncertainty. In respnse t the discvery f uncertainty and its rle as an inhibiting factr t the establishment f interpersnal relatinships, Charles Berger (1975) develped the uncertainty reductin thery t explain and negate its negative effects. This thery investigates the methds and mtivatins f cmmunicatin in interpersnal relatinships explaining that uncertainty is a negative state that peple are mtivated t reslve r eliminate, especially if they anticipate future interactin with the persn and if a relatinship with that persn is perceived as highly rewarding (Theiss & Slmn, 2008, p. 697). Berger and Calabrese (1975) psit that as relatinships evlve, bth cmmunicatrs, the mentr and mentee, must have a need and the means t cmprehend themselves and the situatin. What is Mentring? The wrd mentr riginates between ann dmini and cmes frm the Greek wrd Méntōr, meaning a wise cunselr r trusted teacher (Retrieved September 2, 2011). Outside f mythlgy the first mdern recrded usage f the wrd came frm a

17 Yuth Mentring 17 French authr by the name f Françis Féneln. He wrte and published a nvel in the eighteenth century abut a lead character that was Mentr (Retrieved September 5, 2011). Frm trusted friend t wise cunselr, in ur sciety tday the wrd mentr is als synnymus with teacher and advcate. It has mrphed int a general definitin f an adult wh takes time t develp a relatinship with a yuth in hpes t prvide a psitive example and meaningful influence (Deutsch & Spencer, 2009). This wrd has transfrmed int a mvement in America knwn as mentring. Mentring s Affect n Yuth Develpment Mentring has evlved in a scially cnscius envirnment that sees a place fr yuth develpment. This recgnitin has led t the academic pursuit f understanding mentring and its effects n yuth. While much f the early data gathered n yuth mentring is derived frm subjective, anecdtal surces (Jekielek, Mre, Hair, & Scarp, 2002), mre quantitative studies are emerging. These less subjective means f investigatin crrespnd with previus anecdtal results, t assess the benefits f yuth mentring, n a cmprehensive scale (Barnard-Brak, Burley, & Crks, 2010; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). Fr example, the literature illustrates that the effect r influence f a mentr relatinship is revealed in such areas f the yuth s life as substance abuse and teen pregnancy (Barnard-Brak, Burley, & Crks, 2010). The literature als shws the invlvement f a mentr has been indicated t decrease first time adlescent drug use by almst half (Quinn, 1999). In a natinally represented, retrspective, lngitudinal examinatin f yung adults, DuBis and Silverthrn (2005) discvered that individuals

18 Yuth Mentring 18 invlved in a mentr/mentee relatinship during their adlescents reprted significantly better utcmes within the dmains f educatin and wrk (high-schl cmpletin, cllege attendance, emplyment), mental health (self-esteem, life satisfactin), prblem behavir (gang membership, fighting, risk taking), and health (exercise, birth cntrl use) (Rhdes & DuBis, 2008, p. 254) Cmplementing this data, a meta-analysis f 55 mentring prgram evaluatins (DuBis, Hllway, Valentine, & Cper, 2002), bth quantitatively and anecdtally, supprts claims that the mentr/mentee relatinship psitively relates t yuth develpment. Specifically this analysis, alng with several ther empirical bdies, discvered verall mentring has a psitive effect n three basic parameters f yuth develpment: (1) scial and emtinal develpment (2) cgnitive develpment (3) identity develpment (Barnard-Bark et al., 2010; DuBis et al., 2002; Jekielek et al., 2002; Rhdes & Chan, 2008; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008; Quinn, 1999). There are multiple bdies f schlarship assessing the quality f mentring and psitively linking its effect t yuth develpment (Barnard-Brak, Burley, & Crks, 2010; Pedersen et al., 2009). The evidence cnfirms these results undeniably link psitive yuth develpment thrugh mentr/mentee relatinships (Deutsch & Spencer, 2009; Jekielek, Mre, Hair, & Scarp, 2002). Scial and Emtinal Effects When we lk specifically at the first parameter psitively linked t mentr relatinship, we find benefit in the realm f the yuth s verall cnfidence and self esteem (Deutsch & Spencer, 2009; Larsn, 2006). Scial and emtinal yuth develpment is an utcme that pertains t the yuth s perceptins f self-wrth, their

19 Yuth Mentring 19 attitudes and their individual perceptins (Barnard-Brak, Burley, & Crks, 2010). Mentrs wh utilize their time with a yuth as an pprtunity t emtinally cach the child find will the yuth will subsequently expand their netwrk f scial interactin, cmpetence, and frge bnds with thers mre adequately (Rhdes et al., 2006). This parameter creates scial and emtinal maturity n the part f the yuth that translates int their increased ability t cpe, handle, prcess, and psitively manage bth scial and emtinal situatins (Jekielek et al., 2002; Rhdes & Chan, 2008; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008; Thmsn & Zand, 2010; Quinn, 1999). Cgnitive Effects The secnd parameter f psitive yuth develpment, cgnitive benefit, is mst adequately described as the yuth s expsure t new pprtunities fr learning, prvisin f intellectual challenge and guidance (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006, p. 694). Fr instance, a vast majrity f mentr prgrams are designed within the schl system and a result f the relatinships influence translates int the imprvement f grades and academic perfrmance (Deutsch & Spencer, 2009; Jekielek et al., 2002). Because these prgrams utilize the educatinal system t supprt a mentr relatinship, it is reasnable t expect that this measurement f success wuld als cincide with the verall benefit f cgnitive develpment. Rhdes (2008) als fund that this expsure t an abnrmal circumstance with cnsequential cgnitive develpment makes yuth mre receptive t adult wisdm, their values and even their pinins (Rhdes et al., 2006). The literature prves this arena f develpment is the mst quantifiable f all three, ffering mre deliverable, tangible utcmes with which t measure the success f the

20 Yuth Mentring 20 mentr/mentee relatinship (Deutsch & Spencer, 2009; Jekielek et al., 2002; Rhdes et al., 2006). This measurable benefit f quantifying academic perfrmance, cmparing high schl graduatin rates and the enrllment f these yuth in a higher educatin establishment may explain the ratinale fr a majrity f prgrams wrking in cllabratin with educatinal entities (Dubis et al., 2006). Identity Identity develpment is the last, mst subjective but perhaps mst significant, variable mentrs have the ability t affect thrugh their relatinships. Cmmunicatin research credits the language f interpersnal interactins t actively affecting relatinships and influencing rles (Caput, Hazel, McMahn, & Dannels, 2002). Thrugh learning interpersnal functins f language, peple bth adpt a rle r set f rles, while accepting (r rejecting) thse that are assigned them; they express their wn judgments, wn attitudes, wn persnalities, and in s ding, exert certain effects n the receivers (Caput, Hazel, McMahn, & Dannels, 2002, p. 141). Mentrs, in effect, serve as an example f the yuths pssible selves (Rhdes & DuBis, 2008, p. 256). As yuth enter an awkward age f adlescents they naturally tend t mask their preferences r emtins abut tpics that may nt be cnsidered cl by friends r peers. A mentr relatinship ften serves t unmask a child s sensitive issues and true emtins abut their life, themselves, their dreams, withut the fear f rejectin (Darling et al., 2002). This may prmpt a child t illicit the adult s perspective and advice, which in turn prvides cnfidence (Dwns, 2003). This is the same cnfidence needed t pursue new experiences, free f embarrassment, perhaps leading t the further develpment f the yuth s persn (Rhdes et al., 2006).

21 Yuth Mentring 21 Subjective prcesses, cupled with physilgical assessments, anecdtal successes, and applicable behaviral mdels establish that mentrs pen the dr t pssibility fr yuth (Pedersen, Wlum, Gagne, & Cleman, 2009), bradening their hrizns and helping them shed the fear f their limited perceptins (Karcher & Nakkula, 2010; Larsn, 2006; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). This parameter is the mst delicate parameter, ttally reliant n the relatinship and the mentr and mentee cnnectin, t demnstrate effect. Why Quality and Time Matter Based n the literature the mentr/mentee relatinship has the ability t nt nly psitively affect yuth develpment but t prduce resunding implicatins in the life f a child. This research, and the verall benefits that result thrugh this particular relatinship, hinge n the develpment f an intimate, clse rapprt between bth the mentr and mentee (Rhdes et al., 2006; Theiss & Slmn, 2008). The success and failure f the mentr/mentee relatinship and thus its develpmental utcmes are directly related t the establishment f intimacy within the relatinship, sustained ver time (Jekielek et al., 2006; Karcher & Nakkula, 2010; Pedersen, 2009). Accrding t Rhdes and DuBis (2008) ne f the majr limitatins in quantitatively measuring the effects f mentring is the duratin f time the mentring relatinship exists. In fact research shws that fr relatinships lasting less than twelve mnths regressin in these three parameters (scial and emtinal develpment, cgnitive develpment, identity develpment) utweighed their sustained imprvement (Deutsch & Spencer, 2009). Sme researchers fund less than a ten percent benefit, even when a year had lapsed, in yuth develpment as it relates t scial and emtinal,

22 Yuth Mentring 22 cgnitive, and identity develpment (Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). These findings have been used by natinal rganizatins like Big Brthers Big Sisters f America (BBBSA) t establish guidelines fr the length f time f their prgrams. Natinal rganizatins nw encurage mentrship t nly be pursued if mentrs can cmmit t a minimum f a year, wrking with a yuth (Checkway & Gutiérrez, 2006). Relatinships as a Primary Factr This time cnstraint has prved t be an imprtant factr in the efficacy f mentring largely because schlars have discvered that the develpment f a relatinship thrugh a superficial stage t a meaningful cnnectin takes time (Jekielek et al., 2002). Time and the quality f the relatinship wrk in synergy t prduce a bnd that is sustainable t illicit the vulnerability necessary t impact a yuth (Barnard-Brak, Burley & Crks, 2010). Sme schlars questin time as an accurate variable determining the benefits f yuth mentring, stressing the relatinship itself as the primary factr prducing psitive yuth develpment (Jekielek et al., 2006; Karcher & Nakkula, 2010; Pedersen, 2009). Still thers find the tw g hand in hand (Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). The natural assumptin is the reasn that the duratin f a mentr/mentee relatinship is s imprtant is because the lack f intimacy established during the relatinship. Shuld intimacy be established earlier, and a strnger bnd created mre effectively, time wuld prve a less meaningful measurement (Rhdes et al., 2006; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). Schlars debate time as a primary variable required t develp yuth thrugh the effects f the relatinship (Jekielek et al., 2006; Karcher & Nakkula, 2010; Pedersen, 2009). While this debate cntinues the quality f the relatinship between the mentr

23 Yuth Mentring 23 and mentee is widely acknwledged as the pivtal element in establishing psitive influence and thus yuth develpment (Jekielek et al., 2006; Karcher & Nakkula, 2010; Larsn, 2006; Pedersen, 2009). Mentring and Cultural Obstacles Functining in a relatinship withut cmprehensin f hw t establishing interpersnal cmmunicatin t ultimately achieve psitive yuth develpment, is difficult enugh within like cultures. When establishing this relatinship crss culturally, this deficiency in mentr/mentee relatinships ften serves as the explanatin fr why mentrs d nt ffer their time r experience t mentees (Karcher & Nakkula, 2010). Mentrs are ften unsure f hw t cmmunicate with a child. When that child is frm a different backgrund the cmfrt f familiarity is absent and creates intimidatin f the unknwn n the part f bth the mentr and mentee (Hgg, 2009; Sanders & Wiseman, 1993). When mentrs engage with a yuth frm a different cultural backgrund, interpersnal cmmunicatin becmes mre f an bstacle and relatinships are rarely established beynd a superficial nature (Gundykunst, Yang & Nishida, 1985; Sanders & Wiseman, 1993). This fundamental lack f knwledge affects the hw and the apprach mentrs take t establish these relatinships. Withut an understanding f hw t apprach a relatinship with a child that is different frm the mentr, insecurity and lack f cnfidence take the place f an intimate cnnectin (Gudykunst, Yang & Nishida, 1985; Sanders & Wiseman, 1993). Research prpses this difficulty mentrs face, when attempting t establish interpersnal cmmunicatin crss culturally, is dependent n the lack f knwledge abut the differences in hw thse cultures cmmunicate (Hgg, 2009). Research als suggests they manner in which cultures

24 Yuth Mentring 24 cmmunicate is largely based n their assciatins t either an individualistic r cllective culture (Gudykunst, Yang & Nishida, 1985). Knwing that individualistic cultures, like the American culture, the individual is the fcus and their gals and needs trump the verall gd f the cllective, gives a mentr the necessary perspective t direct their lines f inquiry r infrmatin seeking and begin t establish cmmn grund (Sanders & Wiseman, 1993). In this type f interactin, a persn frm an individualistic culture cmmunicates in a mre direct fashin and establishes bnds based n the investigatin and sharing f them as individuals (Cushman, Branislav & Kvačić). Establishing a relatinship is persnbased. In cllective cultures the emphasis n cmmunicatin and relatinship building is placed n grup as a whle. In cllectivist cultures the grup gals take precedence ver individual gals, and individuals get t knw thers initially by understanding their grup memberships (Cushman, Branislav & Kvačić, p. 69). Status and grup affiliatin are far mre imprtant than individual gals. Again the imprtance f having this knwledge lies in the mentr s ability t apply it and alter apprach t establishing interpersnal cmmunicatin and thus, prmte the fundatin f a relatinship (Hgg, 2009; Sanders, 1993; Gudykunst, Yang & Nishida, 1985). The difference in hw cllective and individualistic cultures cmmunicate is perhaps best illustrated by thrugh the results f an analysis f ver a thusand cllege students frm three different western universities (Sanders & Wiseman, 1993). These students vlunteered t take part in a series f questinnaires that investigated significant

25 Yuth Mentring 25 predictrs in creating relatinships that included, nnverbal immediacy, interrgatin, ther s disclsure and self-disclsure (Sanders & Wiseman, 1993). This multivariate analysis (Sanders & Wiseman, 1993) discvered the nly variable that had a pan cultural effect was thers disclsure. The nly significant difference fund between the cultures was their level f ther and self-disclsure (Sanders, 1993). Fr example, African-Americans place emphasis n establishing a relatinship nt n hw I act but hw yu act (Sanders & Wiseman, 1993, p. 10). Only thers disclsure had an effect n interpersnal cmmunicatin (Sanders & Wiseman, 1993). In the analysis f Eur-Americans the ppsite is true. All fur variables had significant value in establishing the relatinship (Gudykunst, Yang & Nishida, 1985; Sanders, 1993). True t the individualistic nature f American culture, the direct means f infrmatin gathering established thrugh ther and self-disclsure, nnverbal immediacy as well as interrgatin led t cnfident frmatin f relatinships (Gudykunst, Yang & Nishida, 1985; Sanders, 1993). When establishing a relatinship with cllective cultures like Hispanic Americans and Asian-Americans, Sanders and Wiseman (1993) fund Hispanic-Americans apparently d nt perceive interrgatin as critical and fr [Asian-Americans] nly ther's disclsure and nnverbal immediacy significantly cntributed in attaining attributinal cnfidence (pp. 9-10) affecting the establishment f interpersnal cmmunicatin and thus the relatinship. Mentring and High Risk Children Uncertainty, surrunding the establishment f interpersnal cmmunicatin and its rle as a deterring factr in establishing intimate relatinships, is nt limited t cultural differences. Research suggests, aside frm a mentr and mentee having different

26 Yuth Mentring 26 cultural backgrunds, the mentee s status as high risk can als lead t uncertainty surrunding hw t establish a prductive relatinship (Berger; 1988; Feldstein & Witryl, 1971; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). A child can be cnsidered high-risk based n their actins that tend tward deviant, dangerus r unprductive behavir (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006). Often this status is assigned by external factrs in the child s life that are believed t cntribute t miscnduct (Rhdes, 2002). If a yuth cmes frm a lw sciecnmic class, if they have been taken frm their hmes r have lst parents they may be deemed high risk (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006). If a yuth has experienced incnsistent r unavailable parenting this status may als be assigned (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006). Yuth in this situatin tend tward anger, uncertainty, and mistrust f adults because f their experience with this parental mdel (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006). When a child is cnsidered high risk a natural reactin is t steretype in an effrt t understand and then relate t the child (Burgn, Berger, & Waldrn, 2000). While relating is imprtant, at-risk children have been shwn t establish clse relatinships primarily thrugh the reslutin f cnflict, either internal r external (Burgn, Berger, & Waldrn, 2000). Cnflict is an inevitable feature f relatinships, especially clse nes (Salwen & Stacks, p. 282), and can be diffused thrugh finding cmmn grund similarities in values, experiences, bjectives, and s frth that can becme the basis fr mutually acceptable slutins (Burgn, Berger & Waldrn, 2000, p. 119). If mentrs apprach a high risk child with the intentin f finding cmmn grund and reducing cnflict thrugh a sensitive and cnsistent apprach, yuth may in turn view the

27 Yuth Mentring 27 mentr as a dependable, supprtive utlet and allw them t prvide emtinal supprt in their negative envirnment (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006). In this cntext mentrs can act as an alternative r secndary attachment figure, alleviating sme f the tensins and cnflicts thrughut the yuth s existing relatinships (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006). Schlars fund when mentrs serve as a sunding bard they prvide yuth an example f hw t cmmunicate and hw t regulate their psitive and negative emtins, leading t less cnflict (Rhdes, Spencer, Keller, Liang, & Nam, 2006). This cnflict reslutin in turn allws interpersnal cmmunicatin t take place and prvide a fundatin fr a relatinship that has the ptential t psitively affect the child (Burgn, Berger & Waldrn, 2000; Rhdes et al., 2006). Mentring and Expectatins Dissimilar culture and high-risk status are challenges when attempting t establish the necessary interpersnal cmmunicatin t facilitate a relatinship between a mentr and mentee (Hgg, 2009). These bstacles d nt create an easy pathway t effective mentring. Adding t these challenges is the lack f knwledge regarding verall expectatins fr a mentr and their cnduct within a mentr/mentee relatinship. Mentrs are ften placed in partnerships with yuth withut instructin n hw t cmmunicate with them, hw t cmmunicate shuld they be frm a different culture r if they are cnsidered high risk (Checkway & Gutiérrez, 2006; Dubis et al., 2006). Few mentrs are placed in circumstances with guidelines and prtcls while mst are thrwn int situatins withut supprt r descriptin as t hw t establish the cmmunicatin vital t frm relatinships (Checkway & Gutiérrez, 2006).

28 Yuth Mentring 28 Sme mentrs als lack guidance and caching as t what is apprpriate and expected f the mentr/mentee relatinship (Barnard-Brak, Burley, & Crks, 2010). This creates cnfusin surrunding expectatins fr cmmunicatin, bth verbal and nnverbal, (Jekielek et al., 2006). This als generates cnfusin n hw t maintain strict bundaries while attempting t cnnect t a child (Feldstein & Witryl, 1971). Maintaining bundaries shuld be a pririty fr any adult placed in an intimate situatin with a yuth. Understanding prper cnduct and maintaining physical and emtinal bundaries, befitting the nature f the relatinship, are unmet guidelines fr adults entering int a mentr relatinship (Barnard-Brak, Burley, & Crks, 2010). Because relatinships have been shwn t demnstrate transfrmatinal effect (Shepherd, 2006), the manner in which an adult cmmunicates shuld be geared t avid any damaging exchange, either verbal r nnverbal (Baxter & Braithwaite, 2008). This type f supprt is s lacking Deutsch and Spencer (2009) recmmend nging training fr mentrs alng with supprt fr parent invlvement, t address these needs and cncerns. Simply stated, mentrs lack the structure themselves f understanding what they are attempting t d, what needs t be established in rder fr them t accmplished thse gals, and then hw t apprpriately establish the relatinship as a vehicle with which t realize thse gals. Summary Unawareness regarding hw t establish cmmunicatin, relatinship expectatins, cnduct and the cnstruct f an apprpriate relatinship, make bth establishing the relatinship and achieving an intimate cnnectin difficult. With a multitude f

29 Yuth Mentring 29 bstacles, develping interpersnal cmmunicatin t nurture an intimate bnd is key t effective mentring (Barnard-Brak, Burley, & Crks, 2010). The literature demnstrates the psitive benefits f mentring can nly be expected t the extent that the mentr and yuth frge a strng cnnectin that is characterized by mutuality, trust, and empathy (Rhdes & DuBis, 2008, p. 255). As Cllins and Miller (1994) state, withut a cnnectin, invlving such qualities as trust, empathy, authenticity, mutual respect, sensitivity, and attunement the dynamics thrugh which mentring relatinships can prmte psitive develpmental utcmes seem unlikely t unfld (Rhdes et al., 2006, p. 696). Given the challenges f cmmunicating in a mentr/mentee relatinship, these characteristics are nt develped vernight nr achieved easily at the hands f an ften unwilling yuth. Accrding t Altman and Taylr (1973), develping this level f intimacy in a relatinship requires mutual self-disclsure. Altman and Taylr (1973), in respnse t the examinatin and analysis f interpersnal cmmunicatin as it relates t the develpment f relatinships, develped a thery t explain the range f interpersnal behavirs that ccur in grwing interpersnal relatinships. These behavirs can be quantified in terms f the amunt f self-disclsure in each infrmatin exchanges (Altman & Taylr, 1973). Addressing the Variables/Research Questins The literature cnfirms mentring is a vehicle t psitively influence the yuth f America. The benefits, bth empirically and anecdtally suggest that scial and emtinal, cgnitive, and identity develpment are key parameters f develpment when a yuth is paired with a mentr (Barnard-Bark et al., 2010; DuBis et al., 2002; Jekielek

30 Yuth Mentring 30 et al., 2002; Rhdes & Chan, 2008; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008; Quinn, 1999). These benefits hinge n the establishment f intimacy and a clse bnd, between bth the mentr and mentee, which may suffer if a mentr is nt given prper guidance (Jekielek et al., 2006; Karcher & Nakkula, 2010; Larsn, 2006; Pedersen, 2009; Rhdes et al., 2006; Rhdes & DuBis, 2008). The literature als demnstrates that t ften mentrs are placed in situatins with yuth wh are culturally different r cnsidered high risk and expected t develp a relatinship (Karcher & Nakkula, 2010). These situatins are smthered with uncertainty (Berger, 1988; Berger & Calabrese, 1975) that hinder the establishment f a relatinship and inhibit the gals f the mentr/mentee prgram (Rhdes et al., 2006). Thrugh the literature, three pertinent research questins have emerged: RQ 1) If mentrs understd the cncepts f interpersnal cmmunicatin better wuld uncertainty be reduced and relatinship grwth equate t mre successful mentring? RQ 2) If mentrs had a resurce in which t guide the develpment f interpersnal relatinships, specifically fr culturally different r high-risk yuth, wuld intimacy be better established and mentrs achieve needed supprt t adequately fulfill their rles? RQ 3) If better expectatins were established fr the mentr and uncertainty minimized fr the mentee wuld deeper intimacy lead t the establishment f significant interpersnal relatinships and psitive utcmes fr yuth mentring?

31 Yuth Mentring 31 CHAPTER 3: SCOPE AND METHODOLOGY Many mentrs enter int the endeavr f yuth develpment withut the benefit f expectatins, experience, r supprt t effectively and psitively establish the relatinship at the crux f yuth advancement. Ptential mentrs shy away frm mentring in frmal rganizatins because they are aware f the ptential fr dissnance and lack the cnfidence t mve frward. The purpse f this prject was t develp a manual that ffers mentrs a resurce guide t mre cnfidently and successfully establish an apprpriate bnd with their mentee. Mentrs face a fundamental challenge in their initial interactins with their mentee. This challenge is the reductin f uncertainty in an effrt t develp a relatinship that will prmte psitive yuth develpment. If mentrs understd hw t cmmunicate thrugh the ambiguity, uncertainty, cultural differences, and the general awkwardness f initial interactins, uncertainty wuld be reduced and bnds wuld be established mre effectively, thus prmting psitive develpment. This manual prvides mentrs the cmmunicatin fundatin, as it relates t mentring, t establish apprpriate levels f intimacy thrugh uncertainty reductin. Scpe f the Study This prject began with a fcus n the relatinship between a mentr and mentee. Specifically, this prject was designed and rganized arund the research questin riginally psed: 1) If mentrs understd the cncepts f interpersnal cmmunicatin better wuld uncertainty be reduced and relatinship grwth equate t mre successful mentring? 2) If mentrs had a resurce in which t guide the develpment f interpersnal relatinships, specifically fr culturally different r high-risk yuth, wuld

32 Yuth Mentring 32 intimacy be better established and mentrs achieve needed supprt t adequately fulfill their rles? 3) If better expectatins were established fr the mentr and uncertainty minimized fr the mentee wuld deeper intimacy lead t the establishment f significant interpersnal relatinships and psitive utcmes fr yuth mentring? Thrugh the evaluatin f these questins, the cmbinatin f bth qualitative and quantitative research methds, a manual was created t prvide a cmmunicatin resurce fr current and future mentrs. First qualitative analysis was utilized t create a manual f best practices and cmmunicatin thery thrugh a thrugh review f the literature. The first sectin f the manual highlights the cre cmpnents f interpersnal cmmunicatin, vital t the success f mentring. The next sectin discusses pertinent cmmunicatin thery that aid in the frmatin f relatinship develpment. Sectin three then discusses hw yuth with different cultural assciatins r thse cnsidered high-risk respnd differently t mentr relatinships and ffers suggestin t better establish the mentr/mentee bnd. Quantitative analysis was cnducted thrugh the utilizatin f a survey in the furth sectin f the manual. Experienced mentrs in frmal rganizatins were asked t share their expertise and experiences while mentring. This experience was then included in the manual in the frm f case studies and prvides valuable insight fr fellw r future mentrs that may encunter the same types f cmmunicative dilemmas. Methdlgy f the Study The prject gal was t prvide a cmprehensive supprtive guide fr mentrs t be utilized in their establishment f an apprpriate, intimate relatinship with their yuth thrughut the mentring prcess. This manual is intended t aid the mentr in the

33 Yuth Mentring 33 develpment f the mentr/mentee relatinship that has been prven a vital and necessary vehicle f yuth develpment. Thrugh this manual cmmn cmmunicatin prblems that arise in the mentr dynamic might be minimized and the prcess f psitive yuth develpment prmted. This study first utilized message- r artifact based research methds via archival/dcumentatin research as well as textual analysis (Rubin, Rubin, Haridakis, & Piele, 2010) t establish best practices fr mentrs. This methd was chsen because it fcused n reading media cntent, r text (Rubin et al., 2010, p. 216) and recrd[ing] and categriz[ing] these audience reprts f experiences with selected media cntent, seeking explanatins f hw the meaning f such cntent is scially r culturally cnstructed (Rubin et al., 2010, p. 216). The best practices include hw t initiate a relatinship with a yuth as well as prvide cmmunicatin thery supprting relatinship develpment thrugh the establishment f intimacy and the reductin f uncertainty (see Appendix A). Additinally t prvide real wrld scenaris f the mentr dynamic peple- r behavir-riented research by means f survey research (Rubin et. al, 2010) was als utilized. The data cllectin methd f self-administered surveys, was chsen t describe r t explain attitudes, pinins, and reprted r intended behavirs (Rubin et. al, 2010, p. 228) f mentrs in given situatins with their mentee. Surveys were incrprated with the expectatin f prviding mentrs slutins, supprt, and encuragement frm fellw mentrs (see Appendix B). Surveys Surveys were electrnically prvided t in-schl and traditinal mentring

34 Yuth Mentring 34 prgrams rganized by Big Brthers Big Sisters and the Bys and Girls Club f America, bth natinally recgnized mentring prgrams. The surveys were disseminated thrugh each institutin s internal database f mentrs. The surveys were cmpleted and assessed Nvember 4, The purpse f these surveys was t identify cmmn expectatins and issues that bth hinder and help develp the mentr/mentee relatinship. Experienced mentrs were asked t explain a situatin in which they fund themselves unsure f hw t cmmunicate and/r navigate the given situatin. These situatinal experiences and their utcmes serve as case studies t supprt and further infrm and guide mentrs thrugh the experience f thers. Mentrs were specifically asked t describe the actin that ccurred in the situatin and the tactics behavir f the mentr t alleviate and mend any dissensin r reward psitivity. The mentrs were then asked t describe the end result f the situatin. Sampling Experienced mentrs annymusly participated in an nline, self-administered survey they received via by their lcal branch ffices internal database. These mentrs answered questins based n their sci-ecnmic backgrunds, educatinal envirnment and family assciatins t identify links in mentring effectiveness and cultural embeddedness. Mentrs als answered questins abut their length f experience mentring yuth and prvided samples f experiences they cnsidered a cmmunicatin challenge. This study fcused n mentrs in specific branches f bth BBBSA and the Bys and Girl s Club lcated in Asheville, Nrth Carlina and Atlanta, Gergia. These

35 Yuth Mentring 35 cmmunities were chsen based n their differences t ffer cmparisns when given similar structures and prcedures. Bth cmmunities have different ecnmic and racial rganizatins thugh, regardless f neighbrhd, each rganizatin emplys the same structures, appraches, and fcus in their mentring prgrams. They bth prvide inschl mentring prgrams in their respective gegraphies fllwing identical methds as their neighbring institutins. They als prvide their respective cmmunities traditinal mentring, which pairs a yuth and a mentr that interact utside f the educatinal institutin. Survey participatin was annymusly slicited by mentrs in bth Big Brthers Big Sisters and the Bys and Girl s Club f America. This prject tk int cnsideratin the vital cmpnents necessary fr successful interpersnal cmmunicatin and applied these principles t the delicate develpment f a relatinship between mentrs and mentees. Prir research has determined that mentring affects yuth psitively and has even determined the nature f the relatinship that best facilitates yuth develpment. Mentrs are advcates, they are friends. Hwever withut an understanding f hw t cmmunicate t nurture the relatinship pivtal fr bth the nature f the relatinship and its utcme, yuth develpment is never realized. This manual ffers mentrs supprt in the fundamental cmprehensin f hw t cmmunicate, hw t becme a friend, hw t begin and then sustain a relatinship. The prject is presented in Chapter 4 and was designed t accmplish the primary gal f creating a resurce fr mentrs.

36 Yuth Mentring 36 CHAPTER 4: THE PROJECT Intrductin Relatinships are nt stagnating bnds that can be easily predicted nr are they mathematical equatins with knwn utcmes. Relatinships, especially thse develped with children, are subjective and ever changing. Due t the nature f relatinships and their rle in the develpment f America s yuth, mentring requires a cntinued cmmitment t learning. It requires training and nging supervisin f mentrs t enhance the develpment f mentring relatinships (DuBis et. al, 2002, p. 256). This prject was created t develp resurce materials t nt nly supprt mentrs but als cntinue the develpment f mentrs and their establishment f apprpriate relatinships with their mentees. Data Analysis One f the key cmpnents f the manual spawned frm the results f the survey discussed in Chapter Three. The inclusin f best practices and case-study examples, taken frm ther mentrs wh agreed t share their stry, was cmpiled based n the survey results. Upn analyzing the results f the mentr demgraphics, the fllwing infrmatin was uncvered. The majrity f mentrs reprted they had a BA degree r higher. Specifically 50% f mentrs had sme variety f frmal educatin. This means that nly half f the 100 mentrs surveyed had frmal expsure t the disciple f cmmunicatin and that same half reprted a mderate understanding f basic cmmunicatin principles. The ther 50% f mentrs establishing relatinships and friendships with yuth reprted never having had a frmal cmmunicatin class and als reprted less cmfrt with

37 Yuth Mentring 37 interpersnal cmmunicatin and less cnfidence establishing relatinships with their mentees. The survey als determined the majrity f mentrs wh participated, ver 91%, were Caucasian. Despite the fact the survey was disseminated t a diverse cultural ppulatin the vast majrity f its respndents were white. This allwed a wealth f best practices t arise fr specific cultural rientatins like African-Americans and Hispanic- Americas, thugh few best practices culd be derived fr Caucasians r Eur-Americans. The demgraphic survey data cncluded t find, while mentr experience ranged frm ne t ten plus years f experience, with the majrity (34.6%) falling within the three t fur year range, few mentrs disclsed their participatin in nging mentr training. In fact despite several years f mentring the majrity f the mentrs surveyed expressed interest in finding and participating in cntinued mentr educatin, having nly their experiences t draw frm. Results f the Study This results f the data cllected, in the pursuit f the prject s creatin, readjusted the utline f the manual. The establishment f a significant bnd is the necessary cmpnent t translate mentring frm a friendship t an pprtunity fr develpment. Because nly half f the mentrs surveyed expressed cmfrt with cmmunicatin and its basic practice when establishing relatinships, the prject sught t include an verview f hw cmmunicatin impacts the establishment f relatinships. Based n the lack f cnfidence mentrs divulged the prject nw includes an verview f cmmunicatin principles vital fr establishing interpersnal relatinships. The manual thus begins with an emphasis n cmmunicatin as the integral cmpnent f creating bnds thus determining the success f the relatinship. The manual then cntinues its

38 Yuth Mentring 38 cmmunicatin discussin by evaluating the implicatins f the mentring relatinship, its gravity, and its primary challenges. Bth the scial penetratin thery alng the uncertainty reductin thery are used t supprt this discussin. Discussin Mentring Matters: A Cmmunicatin Guide fr Mentrs prvides mentrs an avenue fr supprt as mentrs endeavr t create a meaningful relatinship with a child, ultimately aimed tward their psitive develpment. This resurce prvides an verview f cmmunicatin and the imprtance f uncertainty reductin s that mentrs first and fremst understand what they are trying t accmplish thrugh the relatinship and cmprehend an apprpriate means t accmplish it. The manual explains the gravity f mentring, its ptential psitive repercussins, and prvides expert feedback n its rle in the develpment f yuth. The case studies are designed t unite these principles, binding them in an applicable and practical setting s that ther mentrs may derive value frm the experience f thers. The manual is available in Appendix B.

39 Yuth Mentring 39 CHAPTER 5: SUMMARIES AND CONCLUSIONS Limitatins f the Study Relatinships by their very nature are subjective. This makes their analysis difficult and the guarantee f success unrealistic. While the manual prvides a brad understanding f cmmunicatin, the implicatins f mentring and addresses hw t cmmunicate effectively with yuth frm different status r cultural backgrund, this infrmatin is pen t interpretatin. The successful implementatin f this knwledge will ultimately vary based n the individual, their experience, the dynamic between mentr and mentee, the mentees experience and their willingness t be pen t the relatinship. Anther factr limiting the data pl and manual cnstructin is the cmpilatin f case studies. Thugh the studies were disseminated t a brad range f individuals, the majrity f the respndents were Caucasian/Eur-American, limiting the scpe f the results. Als, the case studies verall lacked the integral steps implemented t achieve success, despite an bstacle, within the mentr relatinship. Interviews may have been a mre effective means t uncver the specific actin items mentrs emplyed t vercme issues, slve prblems, and initiate psitive grwth within their relatinship. Further Study r Recmmendatins T expand upn the data, a mre in depth evaluatin f mentrs, their struggles and their path t vercming bstacles in their mentring relatinship may lead t mre effective case study examples fr current and future mentrs. Als, in an effrt t better understand the needs f a child in this type f relatinship, gathering data frm mentees in an apprpriate setting may lead t the discvery f mre specific gals and

40 Yuth Mentring 40 expectatins fr mentrs. While invlving children in any frm f research presents challenges it may be an apprpriate place t gather mre infrmed ratinale fr relatinship develpment. Cnclusins The gal f this prject was t understand hw mentring relatinships affect yuth develpment and uncver what may inhibit these psitive utcmes. The gal f this prject was als t take that understanding f mentring, its influence n psitive yuth develpment, and prvide mentrs a fundatin t better understand hw t establish these psitive relatinships despite natural bstacles. This endeavr led t the creatin f a manual r resurce guide, which included a cmpilatin f the abve infrmatin in additin t case studies frm fellw mentrs. This manual s primary gal is t ffer cmmunicative supprt t mentrs when attempting t cnnect with their mentee and establish that vital relatinship. The manual als reinfrces the imprtance f mentring and defines the varius rles in which mentrs ften find themselves. The transcendence thery explains the imprtance f relatinships and their ability t shape us, t create ur persn thrugh shared meaning and knwledge. Gregry Shepherd (2006) psits that ur interactins with thers are the pathway t ur future selves. With this assumptin in mind, it is reasnable t attribute mentring t the psitive present and future develpment f children. This assumptin gave birth t the manual. The manual ffers a mre effective and efficient guide t establishing mentr mentee relatinships t psitively shape yuth. Relatinships affect ur develpment, ur chices, and ur lives. As the scial penetratin thery and uncertainty reductin thery suggest this cnnectin, capable f

41 Yuth Mentring 41 shaping ur future selves, is impssible t accmplish withut establishing intimacy and reducing uncertainty within ur relatinship. The psitive develpment assciated t mentring prves this thery s premise is true. Relatinships can affect ur develpment, ur chices, and ur lives. As the scial penetratin thery and uncertainty reductin thery suggest this cnnectin, capable f shaping ur future selves, is impssible t accmplish withut establishing intimacy and reducing uncertainty within ur relatinship. The creatin f this manual is vital because it may cut dwn n the inevitable uncertainty within a relatinship and allw the mentr t better create a meaningful cnnectin, which may ultimately lead t the psitive develpment f their mentee. By prviding a resurce t ur mentrs the yuth f ur natin may be mre effectively reached and mre psitively impacted.

42 Yuth Mentring 42 REFERENCES Altman, L. & Taylr, D. (1973). Scial penetratin. New Yrk, NY: Hlt, Rinehart & Winstn, Inc. Anseel, F., & Lievens, F. (2007). The relatinship between uncertainty and desire fr feedback: A test f cmpeting hyptheses. Jurnal f Applied Scial Psychlgy, 37(5), di: /j Barnard-Brak, L., Burley, H., & Crks, S. M. (2010). Explaining yuth mentring behavir using a thery f planned behavir perspective. Internatinal Jurnal f Adlescence & Yuth, 15(4), Retrieved frm EBSCOhst Baxter, L. A., & Braithwaite, D. O. (2008). Engaging theries in interpersnal cmmunicatin: Multiple perspectives. Thusand Oaks, CA: Sage Publicatins, Inc. Berger, C. R. (1988). Uncertainty and infrmatin exchange in develping relatinships. In S.W. Duck (Ed.), Handbk f persnal relatinships (pp ). Chichester: Wiley. Berger, C. R. (1979). Beynd initial interactin: Uncertainty, understanding, and the develpment f interpersnal relatinships. In H. Giles & R. St.Clair (Eds.), Language and scial psychlgy (pp ). Oxfrd: Basil Blackwell. Berger, C. R. (1977). Interpersnal cmmunicatin thery and research: An verview. In B.D. Ruben (Ed.), Cmmunicatin yearbk (Vl. 1, pp ). New Brunswich, NJ: Transactin Press. Berger, C.R., & Calabrese, R.J. (1975). Sme explratins in initial interactin and beynd: Tward a develpmental thery f interpersnal cmmunicatin. Human Cmmunicatin Research, 1, Berger, C. R., & Gudykunst, W. B. (1991). Uncertainty and cmmunicatin. In B. Dervin (Ed.), Prgress in cmmunicatin sciences (Vl. 10, pp ). Nrwd, NJ: Ablex.

43 Yuth Mentring 43 Burgn, J. K., Berger, C. R., & Waldrn, V. R. (2000). Mindfulness and Interpersnal Cmmunicatin. Jurnal f Scial Issues, 56(1), 105. Retrieved frm EBSCOhst. Cappella, J. N. (1987). Interpersnal cmmunicatin: Definitins and fundamental questins. In C. R. Berger & S. H. Chaffee (Eds.), Handbk f cmmunicatin science (pp ). Newbury Park, CA: Sage. Caput, J.S., Hazel, H.C, & McMahn, C. (1994) Interpersnal cmmunicatin: Cmpetency thrugh critical thinking. Bstn: Allyn and Bacn Caput, J. S., Hazel, H. C., McMahn, C., & Dannels, D. (2002). Cmmunicating effectively Linking thugh and expressin (3 rd ed.). Dubuque, Iwa: Kendall/Hunt Publishing Cmpany. Checkway, B. N., & Gutiérrez, L. M. (2006). Yuth participatin and cmmunity change, an intrductin. Cmmunity Practice, 14(1/2), 1-9. di: /j1 25v14n01_01 Clatterbuck, G. W. (1979) Attributinal cnfidence and uncertainty in initial interactin. Human Cmmunicatin Research, 5, Cushman, D. P., & Kvačić, B. (1995). Watershed research traditins in human cmmunicatin thery. New Yrk, NY: State University f New Yrk Darling, N., Hamiltn, S.F., Tykawa, T., & Matsuda, S. (2002). Naturally ccurring mentring in Japan and the United States: Scial rles and crrelates. American Jurnal f Cmmunity Psychlgy, 30, Deutsch, N. L., & Spencer, R. (2009). Capturing the magic: Assessing the quality f yuth mentring relatinships. New Directins fr Yuth Develpment, 2009 (121), di: /yd.296 Dwns, K. M. (2003). Family cmmitment rle perceptins, scial supprt, and mutual children in remarriage: A test f uncertainty. Jurnal f Divrce & Remarriage, 40(1/1), Retrieved frm

44 Yuth Mentring 44 DuBis, D. L., Dlittle, F., Yates, B. T., Silverthrn, N., & Tebes, J. (2006). Research methdlgy and yuth mentring. Jurnal f Cmmunity Psychlgy, 34(6), Retrieved frm EBSCOhst. DuBis, D.L., Hllway, B.E., Valentine, J.C., & Cper, H. (2002). Effectiveness f mentring prgrams fr yuth: A meta-analytic review. American Jurnal f Cmmunity Psychlgy, 30, DuBis, D.L., & Silverthrn, N. (2005). Natural mentring relatinships and adlescent health: Evidence frm a natinal study. American Jurnal f Public Health. Retrieved frm EBSCOhst. Feldstein, J. H., & Witryl, S. L. (1971). The incentive value f uncertainty reductin fr Children. Child Devlepment, 42(3), 793. di: / ep Griffin, E. (2009). A first lk at cmmunicatin thery. New Yrk, NY: McGraw-Hill. Gundykunst, W.B., Yang, S.M., & Nishida, T. (1985). A crss-cultural test f uncertainty reductin thery: Cmparisns f acquaintance, friend, and dating relatinships in Japan, Krea, and the United States. Human Cmmunicatin Research, 14, Hgg, M. A. (2009). Managing self-uncertainty thrugh grup identificatin. Psychlgical Inquiry, 20(4), di: / Jekielek, S. M., Mre, K. A., Hair, E. C., & Scarp, H.J. (2002). Mentring: A prmising strategy fr yuth develpment. Child Trends. Retrieved frm Ggle Schlar. Karcher, M. J., & Nakkula, M. J. (2010). Yuth mentring with a balanced fcus, shared purpse, and cllabrative interactins. New Directins fr Yuth Develpment, 2010 (126), di: /yd.347 Knapp, M. L. (1972). Nnverbal cmmunicatin in human interactin. New Yrk: Hlt, Rinehart, & Winstn.

45 Yuth Mentring 45 Knblch, L. K., & Slmn, D. H. (2005). Relatinal uncertainty and relatinal infrmatin prcessing: Questins withut answers? Cmmunicatin Research, 32, Larsn, R. (2006). Psitive yuth develpment, willful adlescents and mentring. Cmmunity Psychlgy, 34(6), di: /jcp Mentr In Webster Online Dictinary. Retrieved September 2, 2011, frm Mentr In Wikipedia Encyclpedia. Retrieved September 5, 2011, frm en.wikipedia.rg/wiki/mentr. Piaget. In Wikipedia Encyclpedia. Retrieved Octber 12, 2011, frm Pedersen, P. J., Wlum, S., Gagne, B., & Cleman, M. (2009). Beynd the nrm: Extrardinary relatinships in yuth mentring. Children & Yuth Services Review, 31(12), di: /j.childyuth Quinn, J. (1999). When need meets pprtunity: Yuth develpment prgrams fr early teens. The Future f Children, 9(2), Retrieved frm JStr. Rhdes, J.E. (2002). Stand by me: The risks and rewards f mentring tday s yuth. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. Rhdes, J.E. (2005). A mdel f yuth mentring. In D.L. DuBis & M.J. Karcher (Eds.), Handbk f yuth mentring (pp ). Thusand Oaks, CA: Sage. Rhdes, J. E., & Chan, C. S. (2008). Yuth mentring and spiritual develpment. New Directins fr Yuth Develpment, 2008(118), di: /yd. 259 Rhdes, J. E., & DuBis, D. L. (2008). Mentring relatinships and prgrams fr yuth. Current Directins in Psychlgical Science (Wiley-Blackwell), 17(4), di: /j x

46 Yuth Mentring 46 Rhdes, J. E., Spencer, R., Keller, T. E., Liang, B., & Nam, G. (2006). A mdel fr the influence f mentring relatinships n yuth develpment. Jurnal f Cmmunity Psychlgy, 34(6), Retrieved frm EBSCOhst. Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Haridakis, P. M., & Piele, L. J. (2010). Cmmunicatin research: Strategies and surces (7th ed.). Bstn, MA: Wadswrth Cengage Learning. Salwen, M.B., & Stacks, D. W. (1996). An integrated apprach t cmmunicatin thery and research. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Assciates, Inc. Sanders, J.A., & Wiseman, R.L. (1993). Uncertainty reductin amng ethnicities in the United States. Intercultural cmmunicatin studies 111(1). Retrieved September 20, 2011, frm Judith%20A.%20Sa nders%20 Richard%20L.%20Wiseman.pdf Shepherd, G. J., St. Jhn, J., & Striphas, T.G. (2006). Cmmunicatin as--: perspectives n thery. Thusand Oaks, CA: Sage Publicatins. Theiss, J. A., & Slmn, D. (2008). Parsing the mechanisms that increase relatinal intimacy: The effects f uncertainty amunt, pen cmmunicatin abut uncertainty, and the reductin f uncertainty. Human Cmmunicatin Research, 34(4), di: /j Thmsn, N., & Zand, D. H. (2010). Mentees' perceptins f their interpersnal relatinships. The rle f the mentr-yuth bnd. Yuth & Sciety, 41(3), Retrieved frm EBSCOhst. United States Census Bureau (2010) United States Census Statistics. Retrieved Octber 12, 2010 frm

47 Yuth Mentring 47 APPENDIX A Survey Questins Educatinal Backgrund: Please indicate the highest level f educatin received. Please identify ethnicity. Hw lng have yu been a mentr? (This may include yur participatin in either Mentr Case Study frmal and/r infrmal mentring prgrams perhaps thrugh a cmmunity, a clse bnd, r an rganizatin like a sprts team r a natinal entity.) Beynd the first six mnths f yur first mentring experience (rientatins excluded), have yu participated in any frm f mentr training r educatin specifically geared twards mentring? Have yu ever mentred a yuth cnsidered high risk? Hw cnfident d yu feel establishing a relatinship with a yuth? Hw cmfrtable are yu cmmunicating with them and creating a bnd? Please explain. Please describe a time r event, in yur tenure as a mentr that yu remember as a significant. This culd be a time yu had a breakthrugh with a yuth, a time when yu experienced particular truble with a yuth, r perhaps a win that was memrable. Please describe the situatin, the actin that ccurred, the steps yu tk, and the end result.

48 Yuth Mentring 48 APPENDIX A Mentring Matters A Cmmunicatin Guide fr Mentrs: Successfully develp a relatinship with yur mentee thrugh uncertainty reductin Erin C. Wilsn Graduate Student at Gnzaga University

49 Yuth Mentring 49 Table f Cntents Intrductin Mentring and Why it Matters What can Mentring Accmplish? The Rle f a Mentr D s and Dn t f Mentring Cmmunicating Effectively..58 What is Cmmunicatin? Cmpnents f Cmmunicatin What is Interpersnal Cmmunicatin? Establishing Relatinships thrugh Uncertainty Reductin...62 Thery f Uncertainty Reductin What creates Uncertainty? Hw can Uncertainty be Reduced? Uncertainty and High-Risk Yuth Uncertainty and Cultural Diversity.. 69 Case Studies...74 Mentee Victries High Risk Yuth Cultural Diversity...88 Recmmended Reading..94

50 Yuth Mentring 50 Intrductin Relatinships are believed t have pwer. They are attributed t the grwth and develpment f individuals, their beliefs, their idelgies, their attitudes and values. When we enter int a new relatinship, the cnnectin we establish serves as a catalyst, mlding ur persn, influencing ur decisins and directing ur life path. When a mentr enters int a relatinship with a mentee, they have the unique pprtunity t shape the grwth and develpment f a child. This manual is meant t highlight the mentr mentee relatinship, explain its significance and als its dependence n the develpment f a relatinship. Unlike ther manuals, this bdy f wrk fcuses n the cmmunicatin respnsible fr the establishment f a clse bnd between mentr and mentee. Withut this clse bnd the effects f mentring are mdest as best. When mentrs understand hw t cmmunicate effectively with their mentee, despite their ptential high-risk status r cultural difference, relatinships are mre easily established and enduring.

51 Yuth Mentring 51 Mentring and Why it Matters D yu remember, years ag, a time when riding yur bike was mre imprtant than making mney? Think back, d yu remember climbing trees r playing with friends? Think back t the time f yur yuth, whm d yu remember? Was there an individual in yur yung life that helped shape yu? Hw did that persn impact yur life? Did their wisdm becme part f yur value system? Did their encuragement inspire a leap f faith that led yu t yur future gals? Take a mment t reflect back t a time when a friend, a teacher, perhaps a parent made a difference in yur life. There is n denying ur relatinships shape us. They pen us up t new ideas, new perspectives, and give us glimpses f the type f peple we want t becme. Yu nw have an pprtunity t be that difference in the life f a yuth. As a mentr, yu have the pprtunity t cntribute t the psitive develpment f a child. What can Mentring Accmplish? Mst vlunteers enter int mentring relatinships with a single gal: t vlunteer their time in an effrt t d smething gd and t help a child. Our sciety agrees that mentring is a gd thing. Mst f us wuld agree that it is a psitive way t help yuth, especially thse underperfrming at schl r thse in an unstable hme envirnment. Hwever few mentrs knw exactly hw mentring helps yuth. Based n the mst recent research what we nw knw is that mentring is mre than a gd idea r a way t help kids stay in schl and ut f truble. Mentring actually

52 Yuth Mentring 52 helps develp a child s persn, their attitudes, their beliefs. In fact research shws that mentring psitively influences yuth develpment n three basic parameters: Identity Develpment Mentring serves as an example f a yuth s pssible self. Mentring ffers yuth an pprtunity t witness a different life, t take part in different cultures, and different experiences. Each mentr has expertise and influence, likes and hbbies, their mentee may therwise never have an pprtunity t experience r take part in. This utlet may inspire the yuth t cntemplate a different life, perhaps ne including these new activities. Mentring can als serve as a safe haven fr yuth t discuss their dreams r anxieties withut the fear f rejectin frm peers r family. Mentrs have an pprtunity t nurture the secret desires and dreams f their mentees, ffering them encuragement and supprt they may therwise nt have r be pen t. Scial and Emtinal Develpment Research shws mentring affects a yuth s perceptins, especially abut their self-wrth. Mentrs have the distinct pprtunity t mdel scial and emtinal health and build a child s self image and validate their self-wrth. Fr this reasn mentring can als bst self-esteem and teach kids psitive cping skills. Many yuth lack healthy cping skills and thus act ut in reactin t the stress in their lives. Often mentrs act as emtinal caches, helping yuth t better understand their feelings and react in healthy, prductive ways. The mentr/mentee relatinship can als teach the yuth psitive values. Mentring can expse yuth t scial situatins and experiences they may nt be familiar with and develp the yuth s scial aptitude, while encuraging the develpment f scial skills. Mentring als helps yuth fster mre effective and healthy relatinships with their peers, family and friends. Cgnitive Develpment

53 Yuth Mentring 53 Last but nt least mentring has been shwn t help yuth develp lgic and critical thinking skills. Mentrs have an pprtunity t teach yuth hw t rganize their thughts and express ideas in a cncise and cmprehensive manner. Mentrs ften act as tutrs and can cach yuth n hw t apprach their studies and rganize their time in prductive, efficient ways. Mentring has been prven t help imprve a yuth s grades and the rate f their future high schl graduatin. Mentring has als prven t be a direct cntributr t the academic success f yuth in the realm f cllege enrllment and higher educatin. Mentring can create stability in the life f a yuth. The cnsistency and dependability f a mentr ften inspires yuth t create an internal sense f wellbeing that prmpts psitive investigatin and explratin f skills, advances knwledge, and eventually results in the develpment f emtinal and scial cmpetence. Because f the dependability mentrs present t their mentees, yur mentee may lk t yu fr supprt befre making imprtant decisins. This gives the mentr an pprtunity t prvide the yuth with valuable adult wisdm and perspective they wuldn t therwise be receptive t. This helps guide the yuth dwn psitive and prductive life paths. The Rle f a Mentr Research prves mentring is a healthy and psitive way t help a child grw. If mentring can ffer such benefit t mentees, why aren t mre vlunteers lining up t help America s yuth? While giving yur time might sund simple, mentring can be intimidating withut the prper supprt. Luckily mst mentr prgrams understand the gravity f what a mentr can accmplish in the life f a yuth and, in an effrt t mre successfully achieve these psitive utcmes, are investing mre time in supprting and educating their mentrs. Organizatins like Big Brthers Big Sisters have meetings with

54 Yuth Mentring 54 their mentrs t explain the value f their psitin, what is and is nt apprpriate, and rient their mentrs with their resurces. In an attempt t encurage mentring BBBS prvides their mentrs with an rganized rientatin prgram t prmte effective mentring and minimize any initial cnfusin abut mentr rles and expectatins. Hwever sme prgrams allw mre flexibility in their descriptins f a mentr s rle and respnsibility with their mentee. Depending n the rganizatin and their effrts t supprt their vlunteers, mentrs ften feel unsure f what their functin is in the life f a child. This ambiguity surrunding a mentr s rles and respnsibilities ften deters mentrs frm vlunteering their time. This naturally presents the questin, what is the jb f a mentr? Research shws mentring is mst successful when the mentr sees themselves as a friend. Yur jb as a mentr is nt a particularly difficult ne, thugh there may be challenges. Yur rle is nt t refrm yur yuth r t save them. In this new age f mentring mentrs are mst prductive and successful when they simply supprt their yuth, when they becme a friend. A Mentr s ROLE Be a FRIEND Have Fun Be Psitive Be Present Be an Advcate Invest yur time Offer yur trust and be trustwrthy Remember expectatins are a MUST and they shuld be realistic

55 Yuth Mentring 55 and they shuld be fair Give yur mentee the ability t chse yur activities and yur discussins CREATE BOUNDARIES. Depending n the presence f sufficient parenting mentees may develp intense emtinal bnds with their mentee that aren t healthy and use the relatinship t fulfill an emtinal vid. Fr this reasn it is imperative that yu create apprpriate bundaries fr the health f yur mentee. YOU are respnsible fr establishing the relatinship and the relatinship is vital t the success and psitive develpment f yur yuth Remember: Yur yuth may resist trusting a stranger because they have been let dwn by the adults in their lives. Yu are tasked with a challenging bjective, t build trust in rder t develp a relatinship. This may take time. But the mre yu remember the rles and respnsibilities f a mentr the easier trust will build and the relatinship will grw. D s and Dnt s f Mentring Yur rle as a mentr may have a degree f variability depending n the expectatins set frth by the mentring rganizatin yu are affiliated. Certain prgrams, typically riginating within the schl system, ask mentrs t serve as tutrs. Other prgrams, either frmal r infrmal, seek mentrs t serve as friends and cnfidants. Each mentr has their wn persnality which gives birth t their wn style f mentring. There is n right r wrng way t mentr a yuth thugh there are general and widely accepted d s and dn ts f mentring. Regardless f the expectatins set frth by yur rganizatin, research has uncvered universal and generally well-knwn d s and dn ts f mentring.

56 Yuth Mentring 56 D Be a FRIEND! Listen Be a rle mdel Be accepting Be patient Be Empathetic Be a sunding bard Be a guide and a cnfidant Encurage yur mentee Be a self-esteem bster Try t be as pen as pssible Avid judgments r prejudice Be supprtive and be yur mentee s biggest fan Share in their interests and shw interest in their lives Be a link t ther cultures, attitudes, and experiences Try t direct yur mentr t prductive and psitive slutins Be aware yur mentee may nt be receptive t yur help. They may nt want r think they need yur help. Dn t be discuraged. Yu are there t be a friend. Remember, yu are nt alne and if/when yu need assistance, help IS available Remember, establishing a relatinship that is meaningful is the primary gal f mentring and this is YOUR respnsibility, nt yur mentee s. D NOT Try t be a parent r a savir If yu are nt licensed r qualified t give scial r psychlgical advice, dn t. If yur mentee is having an issue that requires this type f interventin, seek help and supprt frm yur rganizatin r cmmunity. D nt judge yur mentee r assume yu knw the depth and breadth f their situatin Try nt t lecture yur yuth r tell them what t d. Rather attempt t engage yur mentee and ffer them psitive alternative ptins.

57 Yuth Mentring 57 Try t avid expectatins abut hw mentring is suppsed t g and be flexible bth with the prcess f mentring and yur yuth Try nt t break yur yuth s trust. Rather, maintain yur yuth s cnfidence by respecting their privacy unless it culd be detrimental t their health and/r safety.

58 Yuth Mentring 58 Cmmunicating Effectively Mentring is an effective way t impact a child. The ultimate gal f mentring is t develp a friendship with yur mentee in rder t facilitate their present and future develpment. As a mentr, cmmunicatin is key!!! Cmmunicatin is the pathway t develp a friendship with yur yuth and ultimately unlck the benefits t mentring. Understanding yur rle as a mentr is imperative, as is yur understanding that these psitive benefits hinge n the develpment f a relatinship. This sunds easy in thery. Hwever, hw easy is it t establish a relatinship with an ften-unwilling yuth? A relatinship cannt be develped withut interpersnal cmmunicatin and when mentrs understand hw t cmmunicate with their mentee, ften develping the friendship becmes easier. What is Cmmunicatin? Effective mentring hinges n the establishment f an apprpriate, intimate bnd with yur mentee and that bnd is established thrugh cmmunicatin. In rder t develp a friendship with yur yuth and access their ptential yu must learn hw t cmmunicate with them. The wrds yu use, they manner in which yu interact with yur yuth, this is all a prcess f engaging and sharing. Yu are nt nly sharing wrds, a ball game, perhaps a meal, yu are sharing yurself. Learning what cmmunicatin is and hw t engage mre effectively can ultimately lead t mre effective mentring. S what is cmmunicatin? Definitin: Cmmunicatin is mre than talking and mstly abut sharing.

59 Yuth Mentring 59 Cmmunicatin is bth an art and a relatinal prcess. It is the fabric f ur relatinships, ur cmmunities, businesses, and scieties. Cmmunicatin is an ever changing, ever evlving prcess f sharing neself and seeking t understand thers. Cmmunicatin is ften described as an attempt t share meaning between a sender and a receiver. It is a prcess f infrmatin exchange between individuals thrugh a system f cmmn sights and symbls, behavirs and wrds. Cmmunicatin is a prcess that has mre t d with relatinships than it des with cntent. Cmmunicatin is what we d t relate t ther peple and hw we relate t thers fsters bnds. Remember: Peple have an innate need t be accepted and recgnized fr their uniqueness and their individuality. Everyne, children perhaps mre than thers, want t feel special. Peple desire the feelings f being needed and wanted, feeling like they belng. Cmmunicating in a purpseful manner allws yu t cnvey these messages t yur mentee. Cmpnents f Cmmunicatin Cmmunicatin invlves mre than wrds. Perhaps mst imprtantly it invlves listening. Yur mentee may lack the awareness t cnvey messages that adequately reveal the truth f a situatin and limit yur ability t understand them, their situatin, r even their wrds. Yur mentee might nt respnd t yur particular methd f cmmunicatin which culd result in dissnance that hinders the relatinship. In rder t cmmunicate effectively with yur mentee it is imprtant t understand what cmmunicatin is and the basic cmpnents f cmmunicatin that facilitate relatinship develpment.

60 Yuth Mentring 60 Elements f Cmmunicatin: Active Listening: Listening is a chice. Listening invlves mre than using yur ears t receive a message. Listening invlves reflectin, self-awareness and the ability t perceive the truth f a situatin. Listening is a prcess f intuitively and cmpassinately understanding the real issue, the real meaning behind the wrds shared. Sme schlars even describe listening as a creative endeavr where individuals step utside their cmfrt zne and indulge in their differences. Self-Disclsure: Self-disclsure is an act f revealing infrmatin abut yurself. This act can be either vluntary r invluntary and reveals infrmatin abut persnal histry, ideas, beliefs, values, attitudes, etc. This knwledge acts as the very fundatin f interpersnal relatinships. Interrgatin: Interrgatin is a anther way f saying, direct questining. When we ask peple questins they tend t disclse infrmatin in respnse t thse questins that allw us insight int wh the persn is, what they value, their likes and dislikes. Nnverbal Cmpnents: Nnverbal cmmunicatin ccurs thrugh a variety f nnverbal cmpnents such as gestures, nds, tuch, bdy language, psture, facial expressins, and eye cntact. This type f cmmunicatin ften sets the tne fr yur interactins. Remember: In rder t be a successful cmmunicatr yu must start with awareness. Understanding that cmmunicatin is a prcess and dedicating yur effrts t pen cmmunicatin actually imprves relatinships and prmtes their evlutin. Utilizing the varius cmpnents f cmmunicatin and maintaining penness can actually imprve selfdisclsure, imprve clseness, manage cnflicts and even decrease the uncertainty surrunding the relatinship. What is Interpersnal Cmmunicatin? There are a variety f subsets f cmmunicatin that discuss, in mre detail, the intricate nature f hw, why, and thrugh what means individuals send and receive messages. Fr

61 Yuth Mentring 61 the purpse f mentring we are ging t lk at the specific type f cmmunicatin that facilitates the grwth f relatinships. Interpersnal Cmmunicatin, Definitin: While sme individuals refer t interpersnal cmmunicatin as face-t-face cmmunicatin between tw individuals, thers prefer a mre in depth descriptin f what this type f cmmunicatin entails. When yu have uncvered smene s persnality, their individual traits, beliefs and attitudes, when yu have learned wh they are beynd an initial, superficial level, this is when yu have achieved interpersnal cmmunicatin. Research suggests that mentring is nly beneficial t the extent the mentr and mentee develp a cnnectin, thrugh interpersnal cmmunicatin which can be characterized by friendship, trust, authenticity, respect, empathy, sensitivity and mutuality. Interpersnal cmmunicatin is the type f cmmunicatin that helps fster intimate bnds and creates a path t establishing relatinships.

62 Yuth Mentring 62 Establishing Relatinships thrugh Uncertainty Reductin Research suggests that initial interactins are laden with uncertainty. When yu meet smene, there are s many unknwns that it can deter effective cmmunicatin and detur the develpment f the relatinship. As uncertainty is reduced, as bth mentr and mentee uncver infrmatin abut ne anther, each feels mre cmfrtable within the relatinship. This cmfrt spawns intimacy, which is again, the vital cmpnent f relatinship develpment and the indicatr f whether the mentr mentee relatinship will prmte psitive yuth develpment. Yu cannt prmte yuth develpment withut an apprpriate, intimate relatinship and yu cannt achieve this bnd withut the reductin f uncertainty. Understanding hw t cmmunicate and actively attempting t cmmunicate with yur yuth can reduce the uncertainty surrunding the initial establishment f a relatinship. Cmmunicatin prmtes understanding, a reductin t uncertainty, and this is the basis f relatinship develpment. Thery f Uncertainty Reductin In the early 1970s scial scientists sught t uncver hw relatinships were develped successfully, what made them thrive, and what cntributed t their deteriratin. Thrugh verwhelming data and research emerged a thery that explained the birth, evlutin and death f relatinships. Charles Berger created the uncertainty reductin thery t explain hw relatinships were initially develped and what primary factr prmted either intimacy and evlutin r decline. Essentially the amunt f uncertainty present in a relatinship will determine its success r failure. He fund that peple

63 Yuth Mentring 63 perceive uncertainty as negative and are highly mtivated t eliminate it, especially if they want the relatinship t cntinue. Uncertainty Reductin Uncertainty reductin is highlighted, by cmmunicatin schlars, as a cre mechanism in the develpment f relatinships When we meet smene new we are bth vluntarily and invluntarily mtivated t reduce uncertainty in rder t predict their current and future behavir. Cmmunicatin is the vehicle with which we decrease levels f uncertainty Remember: High levels f uncertainty limit the knwledge base necessary t establish a bnd. When peple cannt make inferences abut the relatinship r when they simply lack the knwledge t interpret relatinal cues, uncertainty is increased and intimacy is diminished. What Creates Uncertainty? Uncertainty revlves arund the unknwn and is highest in initial interactins. When yu meet smene fr the first time, what d yu d? D yu listen carefully t their intrductin? D yu glance at their attire, ntice their jewelry, their mannerisms and even their accent? When peple meet they make natural, ften invluntary bservatins. The questin is why? Accrding t Berger and like-minded schlars, we make initial bservatins like these in an effrt t reduce uncertainty, t find cmmnality, t relate t thers. Initial interactins Generally speaking peple experience anxiety and uncertainty abut their cmmunicatin skills, emtinal states, gals, beliefs, and future plans.

64 Yuth Mentring 64 Engaging in pen cmmunicatin and asking questins may reduce uncertainty surrunding initial meetings. Lack f Expectatins Expectatins are mre than understd actin items r behavirs. Individuals develp expectatins based n their attitudes, beliefs, experiences, interactins, and the characteristics f thers (their hair, their style, their mannerisms, etc.). These expectatins, true r false, create uncertainty and may als manifest int steretypes. Fr example if a mentee cmes frm a lw sci-ecnmic status and has lw self-esteem and they meet a well dressed, well educated mentr, with high self esteem they may naturally steretype their mentr based n their clthes and their perspectives. The yuth may presume, based n their expectatins (experiences and their wn self perceptin), their mentr cannt pssibly understand them and wuldn t want t. When expectatins like this are uncvered, there are less assumptins and thus less uncertainty surrunding the emtins and thughts abut the nature f the relatinship and the individuals. A well-dressed mentr may have been raised in pverty and understands exactly what the yuth is dealing with, but unless the yuth uncvers their cmmn grund, their expectatins will create a rift in the relatinship. Hw can Uncertainty be Reduced? Uncertainty is reduced primarily when bth individuals in a mentr mentee relatinship understand what is ccurring within their relatinship. In fact when reducing uncertainty becmes a relatinship gal, uncvering infrmatin and seeking t understand will invluntarily transpire.

65 Yuth Mentring 65 Open Cmmunicatin Open cmmunicatin creates a culture f penness that supprts the reductin f uncertainty. When yu meet yur mentee fr the first time set the standard f high verbal cmmunicatin and pen cmmunicatin. The mre yu verbally interact the less uncertainty there will be. Self-Disclsure Self-disclsure prmtes the reductin f uncertainty in large part due t its natural reciprcity effect. When yu tell smene smething persnal abut yu they naturally feel they shuld share smething persnal abut themselves. This prmtes shared intimacy. Nnverbal Cmmunicatin Apprpriate nnverbal cmmunicatin reduces uncertainty by increasing cmfrt thrugh affirmatin. As nnverbal expressiveness increases, uncertainty decreases. Interrgatin r Infrmatin Seeking High levels f uncertainty are typically the result f a lack f knwledge r infrmatin abut the ther persn. Either directly r passively inquire abut yur mentee, their life, their culture, their family and friends. As yu btain mre infrmatin abut an individual and they have access t increased infrmatin abut yu, uncertainty is reduced. Find Cmmnalities Yuth in particular respnd t peple they feel they can relate t. As yu seek t understand yur mentee and ask them questins share the areas yu have cmmn interests r similarities. If yur mentee can relate t yu uncertainty is reduced and apprpriate intimacy can be mre easily established. Set Expectatins Nt nly d behaviral expectatins need t be set fr the life f the mentr mentee relatinship but the relatinship shuld als have transparent gals. If the relatinship is built n academic need then specific, fair, measurable gals shuld be set. Emtinal gals shuld als be set. Yur mentee shuld knw yur primary gal is t be their friend. Yu are asking questins abut them because that s hw yu get t knw yur friends.

66 Yuth Mentring 66 Setting basic behaviral and emtinal gals reduces uncertainty and sets the stage fr the develpment f a healthy relatinship. It als establishes bundaries! While relatinships require an intimate cnnectin, this cnnectin cmes with apprpriate bundaries fr the health and safety f the child. Awareness and pen cmmunicatin may nt always reduce uncertainty and thus prduce intimacy within yur relatinships. But regardless f the immediate utcmes, engaging in cmmunicatin abut yur mentees fears, their dreams, their dubts r their cncerns fsters an pen cmmunicatin envirnment and a culture f respect. Peple are naturally drawn t individuals they relate t and share similarities. Research shws the mre yu find in cmmn with an individual the mre yu tend t like them. Remember: Peple have multiple layers. The human persnality is like an nin. We have superficial layers f likes and dislikes, deeper layers f attitudes and beliefs, and cre layers f values. If relatinships are expected t evlve, the layers must be cntinuusly peeled. In rder t establish a relatinship thrugh intimacy and shared meaning yu have t peel back the nin, ne layer at a time, until yu reach its cre. Relatinships invlve nt nly reducing uncertainty in an initial interactin but cnstantly peeling back the layers f a persn t get t the heart f wh they are. Uncertainty and High Risk Yuth High-risk r at-risk yuth are amng sme f the mst challenging yuth t mentr. Fr this reasn many mentrs shy away frm mentring this categry f yuth. Sme mentrs feel their effrts are in vain when attempting t break the cycle f disruptin and chas mst high-risk yuth have in cmmn. Fr this grup f children it is vital that mentrs understand what t expect and hw t cmmunicate in rder t establish a relatinship that will yield significance and psitive utcmes.

67 Yuth Mentring 67 While these yuth may be cnsidered the mst vlatile and challenging, they can als be cnsidered the mst rewarding. When mentrs see, first hand, the influence they ve had n a yuth with unfrtunate circumstances result in less vilence r mre respectful behavir, perhaps better schl attendance r high schl graduatin, these mentrs experience genuine satisfactin and a sense f accmplishment with their mentee. These yuth have great ptential and when mentrs understand their perspectives, when they learn t expect certain behavirs and seek t reduce uncertainty t establish a relatinship f trust, these yuth can truly flurish within multiple levels f develpment. WHO is cnsidered High Risk and WHAT des that mean? When a yuth is cnsidered high-risk uncertainty is increased and frming a clse bnd becmes mre difficult. A yuth with this kind f status may acquire it fr any variety f reasns. The yuth may be determined high-risk based n their behavir r acting ut typically in respnse t either their ecnmic situatin r their hme life. If a yuth is frm a lw ecnmic husehld, frm a brken hme cnsisting f neglect, incnsistent parenting r parenting issues, drug r alchl abuse, emtinal r physical abuse, r extreme situatins like lss, the yuth is highly likely t be high-risk and distrusting f adults. Cnsequently mentees may lack the emtinal health t psitively engage with their mentr. Hw is mentring a High Risk yuth different? When a yuth has experience negative relatinships with adults they are likely t perceive yu as synnymus with thse experiences. They may questin yur mtives, yur availability r cnsistency since their mdels f relatinships are burdened with incnsistency and unavailability. This leads t damaging emtins such as anger, anxiety, uncertainty and mistrust. These experiences make them less likely t cnfide in anther, especially an adult in times f stress

68 Yuth Mentring 68 Mentrs wh are cnsistent and sensitive in their relatinships with high-risk yuth ften inspire feelings f self-wrth and help t mend self-esteem. This is why setting expectatins, setting deliverable and measurable gals is vital. This allws the yuth t assciate their relatinship with yu t accmplishment and psitivity. Mentrs wh are cnsistent and caring with their mentee ften find their mentees becme, ver time, mre pen and emtinally healthy. They begin t develp emtinal supprt systems utside f their relatinship with yu and begin t cpe with stressful events and adversity differently, psitively. The mentr/mentee relatinship hlds particular value with at-risk yuth when the relatinship prvides the mentee an utlet t express themselves withut the fear f rejectin, vice sensitive issues r pursue interests therwise discuraged. In this way mentrs aid in identity develpment f the yuth as well as verall cnfidence by nt nly prviding an pprtunity fr the yuth t hnest abut themselves, but an pprtunity t seek psitive adult advice, seek an understanding f psitive value systems, and mtivating perspectives Because uncertainty is highest in a relatinship with a high-risk yuth, it is imprtant t seek t reduce uncertainty every day. They are mre likely t engage psitively in a relatinship with perceived rewards. When Mentring a High Risk Yuth: Set Expectatins: Make sure, in an attempt t minimize uncertainty and set psitive bundaries, the yuth knws why yu are there and what yu are bth there t accmplish. Engage yur mentee by asking if they have any gals, any academic r athletic endeavrs, interests that might be used t influence the maintenance f a certain grade pint average r behavir. Setting expectatins and setting gals f accmplishment demnstrate a reward system yuth respnd t psitively. Set the expectatin f hw yu want yur mentee t behave and lead by example. Mentrs in this situatin can prvide a crrective experience fr yuth withut the benefit f stable parenting r psitive adult experiences. Set the expectatin f being a sunding bard fr yur yuth. By serving as a

69 Yuth Mentring 69 trusted individual yur mentee knws they can vent their emtins t yu. Yu als ffer them a mdel f effective adult cmmunicatin and have the pprtunity t help the yuth better understand, express, and regulate bth their psitive and their negative emtins. Shuld cnflicts arise: Shuld cnflicts arise, which are likely in this type f relatinship, maintain a calm tne, attempt t remve yur wn emtins frm the situatin, and seek cmmn grund. Find similarities in values and life experiences, likes and dislikes, t help the yuth t see yur perspective. D nt be afraid t ask fr help. Shuld yu face a situatin yu are uncmfrtable, unsure, r simply wuld benefit frm anther perspective ask fr help. Mst mentring prgrams have supprt staff respnsible fr prviding yu and yur mentee resurces specifically fr cnflict reslutin. If yu are mentring a yuth withut these resurces frm yur rganizatin, reach ut t the child s schl cunselr; engage the child s parents if they are available and it wuld be cnstructive t d s. There are a variety f lcal, free scial wrk netwrks that als prvide n cst supprt fr the cmmunity. Bttm line, ask smene. Never be afraid t enlist help r a fresh perspective when it cmes t managing a relatinship with yur mentee. Remember: When mentring a high-risk yuth yu may find that uncertainty is high and yur mentee distrusts yu. They may even act suspicius, disrespectful, angry, unavailable, and create challenges. Cmmn grund can be a redeeming link in managing cnflict with an at-risk yuth Uncertainty and Cultural Diversity Ptential mentrs ften shy away frm mentring yuth because f the uncertainty that surrunds their perceived ability t mentr effectively. This insecurity is expnentially increased when the ptential mentr is faced with the ptential pprtunity t mentr a

70 Yuth Mentring 70 yuth f a different natinality r ethnicity than his r her wn. The ptential f mentring a child with a different cultural rientatin brings with it a gamut f uncertainty that may prevent the mentr frm giving their time r feeling cnfident in the relatinship. When yu understand the manner in which different cultures cmmunicate the pressure f emplying interpersnal cmmunicatin t establish a relatinship with a yuth is greatly decreased. This understanding allws mentrs with ptentially different cultural assciatins t cnnect with a yuth and frge the clse bnd that is essential fr sustainable yuth develpment. When mentring a yuth frm a different cultural backgrund frm yur wn (r ne mre clsely identified with their culture than yurself) there will be differences in bth cmmunicatin style and in the manner in which cmmunicatin with the yuth establishes a bnd and thus a relatinship. The primary difference t nte, the difference that will dminantly affect the establishment f a relatinship, is the yuth s cultural identificatin. Cultures differ in terms f their individualism and their cllectivism. Individualistic Cultures Individualistic cultures, like the United States, emphasize an individual ver a grup. The individual s gals, needs, and wants take precedence. In this situatin, as is typical fr the average American, yuth frm an individualistic culture will cmmunicate in a direct manner and develp relatinships thrugh the gathering f infrmatin abut yu and abut themselves.

71 Yuth Mentring 71 In the United States, an individualistic culture, in rder t reduce uncertainty individuals use direct cmmunicatin. We ask questins specifically abut wh the individual is, what their interests are and we try t understand their persnal gals and values. This is an active gathering f infrmatin abut the individual s attitudes, values and behavirs. This is a highly effective manner f uncertainty reductin fr an individualistic culture. Hwever, this persn-based fcus is primarily valuable t an individual raised with this similar cultural value system. Cllective Cultures The ppsite is true fr individuals frm cllective cultures like Latin Americans. In cllective cultures the grup, the family assciatins, these take precedence ver the individual. In cllective cultures individuals cmmunicate in an indirect manner, ften deflecting persnal questins r questins abut themselves directly. Relatinships are develped thrugh an understanding f grup membership In cllective cultures, t reduce uncertainty, the fcus must be grup based. In this setting it is inapprpriate t place t much emphasis n the individual withut first understanding their grup r family envirnment. Using indirect cmmunicatin and gathering infrmatin abut their family status, family hierarchy, perhaps even their family legacy r cultural assciatins is the mst effective way f establishing a relatinship with an individual frm a cllective culture When mentring yuth with different cultural assciatins than yur wn, yu have an pprtunity t create an pen, psitive intercultural cmmunicative envirnment fr a yuth ptentially exiled r alienated frm the larger culture they are nw assciated. Yu have an pprtunity t fster psitive persnal and scial identity develpment Mentrship f a Caucasian/Eur American: When mentring a Caucasian r Eur American yuth, research shws these yuth assciate themselves with the principles f an individualistic culture. This means when establishing a relatinship, the factrs that are mst beneficial and prven t lead t the establishment f a clse bnd include the disclsure f

72 Yuth Mentring 72 thers (in this case the mentr), their wn self-disclsure, nn-verbal cmmunicatin (such as pats n the back, ndding, smiling etc.) and direct verbal questining. These behavirs lead t a higher uncertainty reductin with this particular cultural grup as well as lead t the mre effective establishment f an apprpriate, intimate bnd between mentr and mentee. Mentrship f an African/African-American: When mentring an African r African-American yuth, research shws these yuth may assciate themselves with ne r bth the principles f an individualistic and cllective culture. Because f their heritage, traditinally cllective, and the influence f the West, traditinally individualistic, African- Americans may identify with ne r bth cultural assciatins. This means when establishing a relatinship it is imprtant t bserve which identity the yuth seems mre cnnected t, the identify f the grup r f themselves. Research als shws that regardless f cultural identificatin, African-Americans respnd primarily t thers disclsure (in this case the mentr). Studies shw that uncertainty reductin is achieved nly thrugh the disclsure f thers in this type f interactin. Fr African-Americans it is nt hw I act but hw yu act that leads t the develpment f a clse bnd. Mentrship f a Hispanic/Hispanic-American: When mentring a Hispanic r Hispanic-American yuth, research shws these yuth assciate themselves with the principles f a cllective culture. This means when establishing a relatinship, the factrs that are mst beneficial, and thrugh research prven t lead t the establishment f a clse bnd, include the fcus n the yuth s identity derived frm the grup with which they belng. Specifically research shws this culture establishes relatinships thrugh uncertainty reductin in the frm f thers disclsure, self-disclsure, and nnverbal cmmunicatin (such as pats n the back, ndding, smiling etc.). Fr Hispanic-Americans, the establishment f apprpriate intimacy within a relatinship spawns frm an understanding f wh yu are (in this case the

73 Yuth Mentring 73 mentr) and a genuine interest in wh the yuth is and the grup they belng t. Mentrship f a Asian/Asian-Americans: When mentring an Asian-American yuth, research shws these yuth assciate themselves with the principles f a cllective culture. This means when establishing a relatinship, the factrs that are prven t lead t the establishment f a clse bnd include thers disclsure and nn-verbal cmmunicatin (such as pats n the back, ndding, smiling etc.). Asian-Americans heritage is rted in cllective cultures s the need t gain knwledge f thers may be less f a fcus. Their gal when establishing a relatinship is nt fcused n self but rather n the grup. Asian-Americans will ptentially be less pen t revealing details abut themselves individually and be less respnsive t the attempt. Remember: Peple cmmunicate largely based n their individual and scial identities when establishing relatinships. This means, fr example, they may belng t a culture ther than the American culture but still persnally identify with American pririties and scial nrms. When yu identify which assciatin has dminance, yu have the pprtunity t mre effectively build intimacy and trust. Keep in mind bth the yuth s persnal and scial identity will impact they way in which they cmmunicate with yu and hw they establish a friendship.