HAPPY TO BE ME: IMPROVING BODY IMAGE AND INCREASING SELF ESTEEM

Transcription

1 HAPPY TO BE ME: IMPROVING BODY IMAGE AND INCREASING SELF ESTEEM Joelle Arlt MS Happytobeme.tv

2 Joelle Arlt, MS Mental Health Counseling

3 Self esteem answers the question How do I feel about who I am?

4 To have high self esteem is to feel confidently appropriate to life, that is, a feeling of competence and a feeling of worthiness Nathaniel Brandon

5 EXTERNAL VS CORE

6 Global self esteem vs situational Global self esteem is constant but not set in stone. Raising it is possible, but not easy Situational self esteem varies based on what is happening in the person s life Situational self esteem fluctuates based on events, roles and circumstances Situational high one moment (ie work) then low in another situation (ie at home)

7 Low self esteem is a negative evaluation and low opinion of yourself

8 Self esteem affects all areas of life

9 Self esteem is learned

10 Self Esteem is a Muscle

11 Self discovery

12 The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice Peggy O mara

13 What beliefs about yourself did you learn in childhood?

14 Story

15 Core beliefs about beauty What do you believe is beautiful? How did you come to believe that? Who decides what is beautiful?

16 Layers of beliefs

17 Set A Good Example

18 Identify triggers to low self esteem and feeling bad about yourself

19 ABC Method A = Activating Event B = Beliefs and the meaning you give it C = Consequences or results

20 A Invitation Invitation B I am fat I am ok just as I am C Feel lousy/ crabby/ don t want to go/ shame Go to party, have fun

21 Cognitive Distortions

22 A utomatic N egative T houghts

23 Old patterns and beliefs are changed with consistent, regular practice

24 Visualization/ relaxation

25 Self talk

26 Mindfulness Stop and Notice Awareness Notice reaction Slow down the reaction Choose a new response

27 Watch out for self talk that is negative, self-defeating or unrealistic.

28 Monitor your self talk What would you say if a friend said that? Is there a more positive way to look at the situation? Is there evidence? Is it true? Can you do something about it? Are you keeping things in perspective?

29 How you talk to yourself matters! Use you in self talk (You can do it!) Instead of I (I can do it)

30 Turn down the volume on your negative thoughts Look for ways to put a better spin on the situation Ask better questions

31 I am good enough!

32 Society and the media create an unrealistic demand of beauty and body image, the thin ideal that is nearly impossible to achieve or sustain

33 The thin ideal VS The healthy ideal

34 Research indicates that 3-5 minutes of FAT TALK can SIGNIFICANTLY increase body dissatisfaction

35 Go FAT TALK free!

36 Stop criticizing yourself. and other people

37 Stopping unfair criticism of yourself will help you accept your imperfections and mistakes

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39 The healthy ideal is the best and healthiest YOU that YOU can be!

40 LOVE the SKIN you re IN!

41 PERFECTIONISM = SELF SABOTAGE

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43 Perfectionism Hurts our body image When our standards are too high it leads to disappointment with our bodies Plays a role in eating disorders Leads to comparing ourselves to the thin ideal (tv, movies, mags, media)

44 Affirmations

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46 Perfectionism Set realistic goals Stop comparing yourself to other people Accept that it is ok to make mistakes Don t move the goal posts Appreciate your efforts Be kinder to yourself Keep things in perspective Stay flexible Know that your best is good enough

47 Nevertheless exercise Even though nevertheless

48 Your flaws and imperfections are what make you unique!

49 I will only feel good about myself when.

50 Self-acceptance

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52 SELF ACCEPTANCE

53 Self acceptance has two parts: 1.Giving an accurate self assessment of strengths, successes and body 2. Getting comfortable with what is and not beating yourself up or criticizing yourself for imperfections, mistakes, weaknesses and failures

54 Self judgment

55 STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE

56 I accept and love all my flaws and imperfections!

57 High levels of self acceptance and self understanding helps women be ok with imperfections in their body

58 Self love

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60 If you really loved yourself, how would you take care of yourself today?

61 People don t take care of things they don t like. Do you treat your body like a Ferrari or a junker?

62 Notice how food affects mood

63 Stop beating yourself up about food

64 What are your reasons for exercise?

65 Self respect and valuing yourself is an important part of self esteem and healthy body image.

66 Adolescent girls that like their body gain less weight over time than adolescent girls that hate their body

67 Drop your conditions for considering yourself sexy and beautiful

68 Learn to Accept Compliments

69 Self Love is a verb

70 Summary Notice and challenge your self talk NO FAT TALK Accept yourself Your value is not based on your body/looks Take good care of yourself Love yourself and treat yourself like you would treat your best friend

71 I celebrate, appreciate, adore, acknowledge, accept and LOVE my body right now!

72 Love the skin you re in

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74 Resources Video blog and self-esteem, self confidence, body image, self worth and self love content and inspirational quote pictures <happytobeme.tv> Facebook /Twitter/Pinterest/Instagram/Youtube Happy to be me tv

75 QUESTIONS? JOELLE ARLT, MS

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