Giving Students a Reality Check. Help Students use Reality Therapy in their everyday lives.

Transcription

1 Giving Students a Reality Check Help Students use Reality Therapy in their everyday lives.

2 Giving Students a Reality Check Counselors, Coaches and Teachers can use Reality Therapy to help students to meet issues head on. It may feel easier to give students a dose of reality, but teaching students to have rational thoughts and feelings will result in better ways of dealing with the real world. The American School Counselor s Association claims, Reality Therapy helps clients learn better ways of fulfilling their needs. The difference between TRY and TRIUMPH is a little umph. - Annonymous

3 Reality Therapy Choice Theory Dr. William Glasser developed Reality Therapy on the basis of dealing with the here and now rather than focus on the past. This therapeutic approach focuses on problem solving and making better choices in order to achieve specific goals. Dr. Glasser developed Choice Theory to state that all behavior is either consciously or unconsciously chosen. The drive to make a choice is the need to move from unfulfilled needs to the pleasure of fulfilled needs. Glasser states that all individuals are made up of five basic needs: survival, power, fun, freedom and love and belonging. The motivation to satisfy one or more of these needs is internally motivated and God given.

4 How does a student discover their full potential? The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.... Confucius Personal excellence is derived from the person within, and not the person judging them. In many cases, a student will act out with poor behavior or fall into a depression because parents and professionals use the deadly habits of caring for encouragement People who reach their potential spend more time asking, What am I doing well? rather than, What am I doing wrong? John Maxwell

5 An Important Tool in Reality Therapy Counselors want to encourage students to take direct control over their actions and thoughts. The less an outside influence effects a student, the more they can reach their personal excellence. Dr. Glasser s lists Caring and Deadly Habits: 7 Caring Habits (Open Road) 7 Deadly Habits (Dead-end) 1.Supporting 1. Criticizing 2.Encouraging 2. Blaming 3.Listening 3. Complaining 4.Accepting 4. Nagging 5.Trusting 5. Threatening 6.Respecting 6. Punishing 7. Negotiating differences 7. Bribing, rewarding to control Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one s courage. Anais Nin

6 Major Premise - People are responsible for their own choices, decisions, goals, and general degree of happiness in their lives.

7 Choice Theory - Perception and Reality We all live in a real world, but Choice Theory contends that what matters to us is our perception of reality. Whether it be right or wrong, we behave on what we perceive to be real. How we work with our filters 1 - The Sensory Filter - Eyes, Ears, Nose, Mouth, and Skin 2 - The Knowledge Filter - One of 3 things may happen when passing through this filter; - -we decide the information is not useful and it stops right here -we believe it may be meaningful and gain more information -we believe the information is meaningful and pass it through to the next filter

8 Choice Theory - Perception and Reality 3- The Value Filter - We place one of 3 values on information passing through this filter; we decide we have learned from it and it is needs satisfying, receives a positive value. -we learn it hinders our ability to satisfy our needs, we will place a negative value on it. -we learn it neither helps or hinders in meeting our needs, we place no value on it. (neutral)

9 Choice Theory - The Basic Needs Power and Achievement- A Sense of Winning, Achieving, or a sense of self-worth, selfdetermination, What helps us be successful. Power over people, power with other people (team), power from within (things we are good at). Takes a lead without thinking. Recognition, Skills, Importance Love and Belonging - includes groups as well as families or loved ones. To feel connected with another person. A person who likes to be social and connected with others. Values relationships that stimulate head, heart and soul. Friendship, Sharing, Cooperation

10 Choice Theory - The Basic Needs Freedom and Choice - To be independent, maintain your own personal space, autonomy. Likes to do what they want, when they want. Empowered by an open agenda. Values time alone. Energized by options. Choices, Independence, Freedom from/to Fun - To achieve satisfaction, enjoyment and a sense of pleasure. A person with a good sense of humor and enjoys joking. Fun can also be a walk in the woods or a hike. Motivated by conversation and laughter. Is drawn to music. Inspired by the opportunity to experience new venues and adventures. *Laughter, Learing, Change

11 Choice Theory - The Basic Needs Survival - Basic needs of shelter, survival or food, and sexual fulfillment. A high survival person would have a generator, store food and water, ready for anything. Feels better to save money, then to spend it. Feels most confident and comfortable when there is a plan in Place. Seeks Peace. Relaxation, Health, Food, Shelter, Sex

12 Choice Theory - Quality World The Quality World we create is made up of our needs and experiences. As we live our lives, we develop a unique quality world that includes people, activities, values and beliefs that are most important to us as individuals. This is the ideal of what we want our life to be. People, Things, ideas and Ideals Quality World = Ideal World (Picture Album) **Relationship - existing or desired **Material Goods - favorite car, house, musical instrument, etc. **System of Belief - political, religious, personal The soul never thinks without a picture Aristotle

13 Choice Theory - Total Behavior All Behavior is Total - Total Behavior is made up of 4 components - Acting, Thinking, Feeling and Physiology. When we change one component of Behavior, the other behaviors change as well. They work in concert. The first 2 components - Acting and Thinking - are the only components over which we have any control. We have little control over Feeling and Physiology. We must remember that the four components work together. By choosing to act and/or think differently will automatically change our Feelings and Physiology. Acting - Active Behaviors, i.e., walking, talking, eating. Thinking - Our Cognitions and what we are thinking. Feelings - Our emotions, feeling, anger, and sadness. Physiology - Physical body functions and sensations, fight or flight response.

14 Choice Theory and The WDEP Method Understanding Choice Theory is essential when a student wants to change a present behavior. To assist students change a behavior; the WDEP method is consistent with Choice Theory and based on: - Personal Responsibility - Self-evaluation - Planning for Change The student can make a plan and choose from other behaviors to get them closer to what they want. No Matter what the situation, remind yourself, I have a choice.

15 WDEP Method The WDEP method requires a good rapport with Counselor and Student; staying focused and NEVER giving up. (7 Caring Habits) W- WHAT do you want? Identify D - in what DIRECTION are those actions/choices taking you? E - self EVALUATE (Are my actions getting me there?) P - Discuss a PLAN, revise it and refine it. Good or Bad, Everything we do is our best choice at the moment Dr.Glasser

16 JR WDEP Interpretation All Counselors deal with time restrictions. To try and save some time, one can use my interpretation of the WDEP method. To assist a student in a search for a new behavior, you can ask, What do you want? and Let s come up with a plan. Here are my BIG 3: 1. What is your plan? WHAT do you want? Identify behavior. 2. How do you plan on getting there? In what DIRECTION are your actions/choices taking you? What are you doing to achieve what you want? 3. Is your plan getting you to where you want to be? EVALUATE (Are my actions getting me there?) Discuss your PLAN, revise it, and refine it if necessary. If you want to change attitudes, start with a change in behavior. Dr Glasser

17 In Closing -Students should not feel like victims. Avoid complaints, blaming and criticizing....we need not be victims of our past or present unless we choose to be., William Glasser. - People change when they evaluate their own behavior and develop and implement specific plans.(adapted from Wubbolding, 2000) Creator of WDEP - Reality Check -Focus on the Present! Help students stay on course. Patrick Wanis, Human Behavior Expert believes, Clients will repeat behavior that counselors strongly encourage. - Choice Theory helps a student find their own intervention to getting what they want. The counselor s role is to referee the way they use the theory. The day we stop playing will be the day we stop learning Dr Glasser

18 In Closing - The art of counseling is to weave these components together in ways that lead students to evaluate their lives and to decide to move in more effective directions (Glasser, 1996B) **Aristotle uses a term called, Rational Soul. The term was what he called the human soul. Aristotle claimed, a rational soul has the capacity for rational thought. (Conscious and intellect) Presented by: John Rossillo, School Counselor, Lindenhurst High School - jrossillo@lindenhurstschools.org The rational soul is self-reflective (power to make itself whatever it wants) Marcus Surelius