Emotional Intelligence for Church Workers-1

Transcription

1 Emotional Intelligence for Church Workers-1 Trinity Lutheran Church and School Davenport, Iowa August 3, 2015 Grace Camp-DeWitt, Iowa David A. Muench MDiv, MS, LMFT Concordia Plan Services 1

2 What are you looking for in this retreat? (Spend a minute quietly identifying what you would like to gain.) 2

3 Share it with someone. 3

4 Why? When it comes to team dynamics 4

5 we have a tendency to find what we re looking for and intentionality often improves the outcome! 5

6 Also conversation changes things! 6

7 Emotional Intelligence is: 1. Your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and 7

8 2. your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. 8

9 Why are relationships so important? 9

10 Consider the Divine Design: Every created entity functioning optimally 10

11 in harmony with every other created entity functioning optimally 11

12 glorifying the Creator! 12

13 That is ultimate wellness shalom kalos 13

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15 The Divine Design is all about relationships. The earthly mission of Jesus and those who follow Him is the restoration of the Divine Design. 15

16 Raising the level of Emotional Intelligence improves the ability to manage behavior and relationships. 16

17 Our brains are hard-wired to allow our emotions the first opportunity to determine a response. 17

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19 The management of the emotional and rational parts of our brain is the physical aspect of emotional intelligence. 19

20 Emotional Intelligence includes: 1. Self Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effect on others. 20

21 Questions / Comments? 21

22 Break Individual Work 22

23 Emotional Intelligence for Church Workers-2 Trinity Lutheran Church and School Davenport, Iowa August 3, 2015 Grace Camp-DeWitt, Iowa David A. Muench MDiv, MS, LMFT Concordia Plan Services 1

24 Emotional Intelligence includes: 1. Self Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effect on others. 2

25 Emotional Intelligence includes: 2. Self Regulation: The ability to control and redirect disruptive impulses and moods, a propensity to suspend judgmentto think before acting. 3

26 Emotions derive from five core feelings: Happiness; Sadness; Anger; Fear; Shame. 4

27 Emotional Hijacking: A moment when emotion controls behavior and one reacts without thinking. 5

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29 A Trigger event: Something that generates a prolonged emotional reaction. 7

30 Your reaction to your triggers is shaped by your personal history, which includes experience in similar situations. 8

31 As you sharpen your EQ skills, you ll learn to spot your triggers and practice ways of responding that will become habitual. 9

32 Consider: Smile and laugh more; Take control of your self-talk; Avoid victim thinking. 10

33 Emotional Intelligence includes: 3. Empathy: Ability to understand emotional realities of other people, skill in responding to people based upon their emotional state. 11

34 Empathy includes: coming alongside others, and listening well, more eager to understand than to be understood. 12

35 Empathy flows more from an eagerness to help than from a desire to correct. 13

36 Consider: Greet people by name; Live in the moment; Practice the art of listening; Test for accuracy. 14

37 Emotional Intelligence includes: 4. Social Skill: Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks, an ability to find common ground, build rapport.15

38 Consider: Be open and respectfully curious; Practice invitational talk; Build trust; Bring out the best in others. 16

39 Consider the encouragement of Jesus 17

40 You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other. Mark 9:50 (NLT) 18

41 Questions / Comments? 19

42 Break Individual and Work in Small Groups 20

43 Nurturing Community-1 Trinity Lutheran Church and School Davenport, Iowa August 3, 2015 Grace Camp-DeWitt, Iowa David A. Muench MDiv, MS, LMFT Concordia Plan Services 1

44 Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear Him. Luke 15:1 2

45 Jesus was obviously approachable Radiating receptivity. 3

46 Genuine love was involved. (My willingness to sacrifice something important to me for the good of another.) consider John 15:13 4

47 And a willingness to postpone judgment 5

48 For the sake of restoring community. The Kingdom of God is at hand! Mark 1:15 6

49 The absence of structure made it necessary for community to be based upon relationships. 7

50 Authentic Community involves sincere and spontaneous hospitality, safety, trust, and a preference to care. 8

51 Authentic Community flows from receptivity that is obvious. 9

52 Consider the element of Authentic Community among the staff of Trinity Lutheran Church and School. 10

53 Would an objective observer notice that among staff, there is a preference for cultivating relationship over imparting knowledge and exercising authority? 11

54 Would an objective observer notice that among staff, there is a preference for helping each other succeed in fulfilling their God-given potential? 12

55 Would an objective observer notice that among staff, there is a preference for Invitational Language and listening to understand? 13

56 Would an objective observer notice that among staff, there is a recognition of the destructive nature of shame and efforts to neutralize it? 14

57 a preference for sufficient value and respect conveyed to team members for them to come up with their own solutions? 15

58 a desire for participation from a place of being of vulnerability? 16

59 Questions / Comments? 17

60 Break Work in Small Groups 18

61 Nurturing Community-2 Trinity Lutheran Church and School Davenport, Iowa August 3, 2015 Grace Camp-DeWitt, Iowa David A. Muench MDiv, MS, LMFT Concordia Plan Services 1

62 He said, The one who showed mercy. And Jesus said to him, You go and do likewise. Luke 10:37 2

63 Go and learn what this means, I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners. Matthew 9:13 3

64 Mercy is love that has not been earned. 4

65 Consider: Jesus desire for those who wish to follow Him is to be involved in developing authentic community 5

66 also across boundaries mercy will lead the way. 6

67 After all... The Kingdom of God is at hand! Mark 1:15 7

68 Once again the development of community Will need to be based upon relationships... 8

69 which flow from Radiating Receptivity. 9

70 Authentic Community involves sincere and spontaneous hospitality, safety, trust, and a preference to care. 10

71 Consider aspects of nurturing Authentic Community with persons outside the circle of Trinity Lutheran Church and School. 11

72 Be ready and willing To develop new relationships. 12

73 Be ready and willing To engage others in gracious conversation. 13

74 Be ready and willing To attend thoughtfully to your non-verbal behaviors. 14

75 Be ready and willing To interact with authenticity. 15

76 Be ready and willing To invite others into a connection with you. 16

77 Questions / Comments? 17

78 Break Work in Small Groups 18