Understanding Childhood Sexual Abuse of Boys and Men PRESENTER: DENNIS TYSON, MPA, FOUNDER AND DIRECTOR OF O BRIEN DENNIS INITIATIVE

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1 Understanding Childhood Sexual Abuse of Boys and Men PRESENTER: DENNIS TYSON, MPA, FOUNDER AND DIRECTOR OF O BRIEN DENNIS INITIATIVE April 05, 2017

2 Overview This webinar will present information about the experience of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) of boys and men. The varying types of sexual abuse will be explored as well as dispelling myths about childhood sexual abuse and perpetrators. Special attention will be given to the ripple effects of CSA, how boys and men respond differently than females to CSA, and how the cycle of victim to abuser can occur. There will be a discussion about the myriad of interventions that promote recovery from the trauma of CSA, and how providers can optimize their ability to assist victims of CSA in their healing.

3 The term abused boys is more commonly used and this is due in part to the widely publicized media coverage of male sexual abuse in the United States. It is estimated that thousands of boys will be sexually abused and they will be scarred and damaged physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Every facet of their lives will be disrupted and marked. As these young men grow into adulthood, they will be inundated with troubled relationships, both personal and intimate, sexual dysfunctions, poor sense of self-worth, and they will find it very difficult to have intimacy with others. Many of these young boys will potentially become drug addicts, alcoholics and criminals to cope with what has happened to them.

4 At least 1 out of every 10 of men in our country have suffered from trauma as a result of sexual assault. Like women, men who experience sexual assault may suffer from depression, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other emotional problems as a result. However, because men and women have different life experiences due to their different gender roles, emotional symptoms following these traumatic experiences can look different in men than they do in women.

5 Abuse in Boys Boys are more likely than girls to be sexually abused by strangers or by authority figures in organizations such as schools, the church, or athletics programs. 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by the age of 18 years. Perpetrators often pinpoint boys who are more vulnerable The assault may occur in isolated areas where help is not readily available. Often times there is something going on within the home. Homes that there are no male figures around are usually more susceptible. 27.8% of men were age 10 or younger at the time of their first rape/victimization.

6 Boys who are sexually abused at an early age oftentimes become teenage fathers.

7 Abused teens are more likely to engage in sexual risk taking, putting them at greater risk for STDs. Children who are sexually abused oftentimes become involved in drug abuse and alcohol addiction

8 Types of Sexual Abuse Sexual touching of any part of the body, clothed or unclothed; Penetrative sex; including penetration of the mouth, vagina, and anus; Encouraging a child to engage in sexual activity; including masturbation; Intentionally engaging in sexual activity in front of a child;

9 Showing children pornography; or using children to create pornography; Sexualized conversations/talk; Making fun of or ridiculing the child s sexual development, preference, or ogans; An adult exposing his or herself to the child for sexual gratification; Voyeurism; Types of Sexual Abuse

10 Types of Sexual Abuse Forcing overly rigid rules on dress or overly revealing dress; Stripping to hit or spank, or getting sexual excitement out of hitting; Having a child be sexual with an animal; Encouraging a child to engage in prostitution; Witnessing others being sexually abused.

11 Myths about Sexual Assault of Men and Boys MYTH 1: Boys and men can t fall victim to sexual abuse. MYTH 2: Males who are sexually abused will go on to become abusers MYTH 3: All perpetrators of sexual abuse are male. MYTH 4: Males sexually abused by males are, or will become bisexual or gay. MYTH 5: If you get an erection and/or ejaculate during the sexual abuse, you must have enjoyed it.

12 The age old notion that only gay men would sexually assault men or boys is so far off track, most male perpetrators identify themselves as heterosexuals and often have consensual sexual relationships with women.

13 Myths about Sexual Assault of Men and Boys MYTH 6: Only men who are gay or bisexual can be sexually assaulted. MYTH 7: Men should be capable of protecting themselves against sexual abuse MYTH 8: If you didn t clearly remember the sexual abuse, it didn t really happen.

14 Believing in these myths keeps those male survivors isolated and alone, making it very difficult for them to reach out and find the support they need without being stereotyped and labelled. Individuals have to accept the harsh reality that male sexual violence and abuse does exist in our society and the victims must be provided with the same support and understanding available to women and children.

15 Sexual Trauma- How Sexual Abuse Leads to Sexual Trauma Sexual abuse teaches victims that their bodies are not really their own. Victims often report feelings such as shame, terror, depression, and guilt, and many blame themselves for the assault. Sexual abuse does not only leave psychological scars. It can also have long-lasting health consequences.

16 The Ripple Effects of Male Sexual Abuse The Impact of Sexual Abuse and Trauma Some of the mental health challenges survivors of sexual abuse face: Anxiety and depression Impaired relationships Low self-esteem Sexual dysfunction and promiscuity Drug addiction Sleep disturbances Suicidal ideation and behavior Anger and fear Masculinity issues Problems with sexuality and intimacy Self blame/guilt Shame/humiliation

17 How Boys and Men Respond Differently Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted may experience the same effects of sexual assault as other survivors, and they may face other challenges that are more unique to their experience. Men who were sexually abused as boys or teens may respond differently than men who were sexually assaulted as an adult. The only thing that differentiates the response between boys and men regarding sexual violence is age.

18 The signs within boys are often times very obvious, and too often neglected. Boys do not have the cognitive skills often times to vocalize or express through words how they are feeling. Boys tend to act out more, yet again because of socialization and how masculinity is defined, many of these behavioral signs will be ignored.

19 Boys Younger Children (0-12) Emotional Distress: Crying Spells, Isolation, Irritability, Nightmares, Depressed Affect, Hyper-vigilance Changes in eating patterns; sleeping patterns Toileting Issues: Bedwetting; Severe Constipation (Rule Out Autism or Developmental Delay) Clinginess to caregivers, even to an abuser Aggressive behaviors with peers or adults or acted out through play Preoccupation with touching genitals of others or their own (This behavior is best used as a marker when it is present with other markers)

20 Older Children/Adolescents Emotional distress: Anxiety, Panic Attacks; Hypervigilance; Obsessive Compulsive Behaviors; Flashbacks; Depressed Moods, Mood Fluctuations (Perhaps Misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder) Eating disorders Sexual Preoccupation Early First Intercourse Difficulty with Trusting Others Somatization: Frequent Physical Illness, Irritable Bowel symptoms, Chronic Fatigue symptoms Low Self-Esteem Substance Abuse

21 How Men Respond While men often times have the cognitive skills to be expressive, societal definition of masculinity and sexuality makes it somewhat challenging to talk about the abuse. Male sexual abuse is still considered a taboo topic in some social respects. In some countries male sexual abuse is criminalized and male victims can be charged as victims and further victimized. Most men find it much easier to self medicate rather than talking about the abuse. Anxiety, depression, fearfulness, or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Drug or alcohol addictions or dependency Withdrawal from relationships or friendships and an increased sense of isolation Victims can become abusers (physical or sexual)

22 How Men Respond Inability to be in a committed fulfilling relationship Sexual promiscuity Avoiding people or places related to the assault or abuse Concerns or questions about sexual orientation Fear of the worst happening and/or having a sense of a shortened future Feel like "less of a man" or that you no longer have control over your own body Feeling on-edge, being unable to relax, and having difficulty sleeping Sense of blame or shame over not being able to stop the assault or abuse, especially if you experienced an erection or ejaculation

23 Breaking the Cycle The big question that is often asked is How to break the cycle?. How can our men and boys heal? There are no right or wrong answers to this question as different approach may work for different individuals. Traditional therapy may work for some survivors while a non traditional approach may work. For those who choose to take the traditional approach by seeking professional help, it is imperative to encourage providers to recognize the need for cultural competency (make an effort to understand the client s place of origin, etc) The most important thing is to give men and boys is a safe place to talk about their experience. Often times self expression through the arts may work such as painting, drawing, music, singing, writing and theater. Other may choose to use different outlets such as religion, spirituality and reading books. Healing comes in different way, and we have to allow the individual survivor to find the best approach that works for him.

24 There is a support group called The Conversation that takes on a non traditional approach and allows men to come together and support each other. The groups are run and controlled by survivors who share stories of their personal struggles.

25 Daring Greatly by Dr. Brene Brown, this books deals with shame and vulnerability and how to have a personal conversation with one self.

26 Dennis Story

27 Questions?

28 Contact Us The McSilver Institute for Poverty Policy and Research 41 East 11 th Street, 7 th Floor, New York, NY Ctac.info@nyu.edu Or, Our Presenter Today: Dennis O. Tyson MPA Founder President & CEO O Brien Dennis Initiative Dtyson@obdi.org

29 Upcoming Events in the Series: May 11, :00pm-2:00pm Community Based Interventions - Presenter: Mimi Kim, MSW, PhD This webinar gives us an introductory historical examination of the intimate partner violence movement and its eventual reliance on carceral practices and policies. It will then discuss contemporary community-based interventions (commonly labeled transformative justice interventions), which build on community relationships and strengths instead of a dependence on incarceration and police interventions. June 8, :00pm-1:00pm Best Practices- Presenter: Josie Torielli, LCSW, Assistant Director of Intervention Program, New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault This webinar will provide an overview of best practices for those providers who work with survivors of sexual violence and/or assault. There will be an overview of trauma and exercises to help providers learn some of the best practices to best help and support clients who have survived these experiences.

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