Deep Healing Sleep Your workbook for change

Transcription

1 Deep Healing Sleep Your workbook for change Change comes from inside you, not from some miracle cure.

2 Before you start just take a moment to think about how you would like things to be different and then take a moment to commit to that change by reading and signing the promise below. I... (Name) promise myself that I will devote my time to completing this workbook with an open mind so that I can allow myself the best sleeping experience possible. Signed... Date... 2 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

3 INTRODUCTION How did you sleep last night? Did you wake up without an alarm clock and feel ready to get right out of bed and start your day? Did you feel rested and ready to go this morning? This is the easiest way to tell if you're getting enough sleep. Not getting enough sleep is one of the ways that you can sabotage your success and well-being. When you sleep well you not only feel better, but calmer and more in control. Wouldn't you choose to have that every day? If you didn t sleep well you are certainly not alone. 1 in 3 people have difficulty sleeping at night. I am always amazed at the amount of comments I hear from clients and people about how they almost take for granted the fact they don t sleep properly. It may be that you feel that you could sleep better than you do, or it could be that you feel as though you never sleep properly and it affects how you function in the daytime. In extreme cases sleeplessness can take over your life and you almost become the sleep problem. The first thing I will ask you to do is to open your mind to the possibility of change. With an open mind you will be able to see where you can make a difference. And that is what you are here for isn t it? Yes of course! You realise that your sleep is not all that you want it to be and so you are here to make changes. So open your mind to new ways of thinking, because the thinking you have at the moment has only got you to here and won t get you further Sleep is designed to replenish our body and minds resources. Ideally we should sleep for an average of around 7 1/2 hours each night. Our very basic needs, the ones we can t live without, are food, water, exercise and sleep. You may realise that you have control over how much water you drink, what food you eat and how much exercise you take, but you may think, or feel you have no control over how much sleep you have. Now we all have nights when we find sleeping difficult, due to; events happening, excitement, a particular worry, or even in my case if I have mistakenly drunk a really strong coffee in the daytime. In general, though people who are sleepers do not have any difficulty with getting a night s sleep. 3 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

4 So if you are someone who feels they don t fit in to the normal sleeper category, then this is the programme you need. Everyone is different, so it is designed so you can find the information and exercises that are right for you. It may be that you only have a mild sleeping problem and therefore by following the Sleep Health suggestions and using some of the relaxation techniques, it may be enough for you to make the changes you need to get that good night s sleep. Even normal sleepers need a little help sometimes. I find that if I have too many thoughts racing around my head, I listen to Journey to Relaxation ; it calms my thoughts so I drift off to sleep. On the other hand, if you feel you are an insomniac or on the way to insomnia, then you could complete the beliefs and thoughts exercises, to show you where you could make changes. You generally have fear attached to sleep in some way, but don t worry because once you become aware of what the fear is you can choose whether to let it go or not. Use this workbook and the recordings, in whichever way works for you. I will direct you through, so you have a step by step plan, which you can tailor to your individual needs. I do really recommend you do the writing exercises. Don t put yourself under any pressure, write only what you feel comfortable with and remember you don t have to keep any of it, you can write it then destroy it if needs be. Your writing is for your eyes only. This is not about keeping a diary, it is about you, finding out your thoughts and beliefs and how they affect your behaviour. You may like to buy yourself a lovely notebook and pens to record your thoughts along the way and to keep a track of your journey. On the other hand if you think you are writing something you may well want to destroy, then use sheets of paper, or print out the worksheets. This is your programme and it is what works for you. There is no right or wrong, only progress and learning. And that brings me to my first point, be honest with yourself. I can probably say, that not being honest with either yourself or others, may be some part of your sleeplessness problem. Only you will know! Make this a journey that you can enjoy along the way. So..let s get started. First of all, you may want to know who I am and what right I have to be talking to you. I am Jill Roberts an intuitive therapist, qualified in Counselling, CBT, Hypnotherapy, NLP and Coaching, so I really like to get into the root causes of behaviours and problems. I have with worked for 10 years with clients just like you who have problems with not getting what they want in life because they feel held back by something, but usually they don t know what. This affects their sleep 4 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

5 their work and relationships. I help them get control back in their lives so they can sleep more soundly and be the way they really want to be, refreshed and happy. You can find out more about me at And please, if you have any feedback or need any further help, me, jill@leamingtontherapy.co.uk DEEP HEALING SLEEP WORKBOOK Included in this workbook are several suggestions and exercises for you to become aware of some of the feelings, habits and behaviour traits in your life regarding sleep. There are 4 recordings to accompany this workbook. Deep Healing Sleep designed to be listened to when you are settling down to go to sleep for the night. It should be the last thing you do at the end of the day. There is also a copy of the words to Deep Healing Sleep which you may want to print out and carry with you,to read at times when you feel you need a break from the thoughts in your day to day life. Journey to Relaxation to be played anytime you want to be quiet and still your mind. Find somewhere on your own to relax and enjoy. There is no count back so it will not wake you at the end. You will do that in your own time. Waking Up to be played first thing in the morning for motivation and positive thoughts for the day ahead. 5 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

6 Winding Down This is where you get rid of the day s baggage to clear your mind ready for sleep. Deep Healing Sleep Workbook. This workbook is your map for your journey to a good night s sleep. Use this book in the way that works best for you and your life style. Some people have more time, energy and motivation in the morning and for others the same is true at night. What you will also find in this book are writing exercises to accompany the audio recordings, Waking Up and Winding Down. Now, about sleep Sleep is not just what happens at night. Your night s sleep is normally in direct relation to what happens in your life. While you sleep, your subconscious mind, through your dreams, processes what happens to you in the day. Maybe you think you don t dream, you do, it s just you don t remember them. This Deep Healing Sleep programme, links what happens in your day to what happens at night, helping you make more sense of it, so you can make any necessary changes. If you are having trouble sleeping there could be an underlying emotional reason or cause, in which case talking it through with a therapist, such as myself, who will listen to you, without telling you what to do, will help. There are 4 stages to sleep. (There used to be 5 but recently stages 3 and 4 have been combined so now there are 4.) Stage 1 The beginning of your sleep cycle and a relatively light stage of sleep. Stage 1 is the transition between you being awake and you sleeping. This period of sleep lasts for about 5-10 minutes and if you wake during this stage you will probably say you weren t asleep. Stage2 Second stage lasting about 20 minutes, there is rapid brain activity, your body temperature begins to decrease and your heart rate begins to slow. Stage 3 This stage was formerly divided into stages 3 and 4. You are less responsive and noises and activity may fail to get a response. It s a transitional stage between light sleep and very deep sleep. Bed wetting and sleep walking are most likely to occur in this stage. 6 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

7 Stage 4 This is the stage where most dreaming occurs. It is known as the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. REM sleep is characterized by eye movement, increased respiration rate and increased brain activity which cause your dreaming. Your voluntary muscles become paralysed to stop you acting out on your dreams. Sleep does not cycle though these stages in sequence. Sleep begins in stage 1, moves into stage 2 and 3, after stage 3, stage 2 is repeated, before REM sleep. Once REM sleep is over you return to stage 2 sleep. Sleep moves through these stages four or five times a night. You enter REM sleep about 90minutes after falling asleep. The first cycle of REM sleep only lasts a short amount of time, but with each cycle becomes longer and can last up to an hour as sleep progresses. Sleep and sleeplessness You can go longer without food or water than you can without sleep. Sleep is the most important gift that you can give yourself. However, it can escape some of us and nothing is more frustrating than not being able to get the sleep that your body needs. So what have you tried in the past, to make sure you get a good night s sleep; pills, earplugs, milky drinks, watching films/ not watching films, alcohol, hot baths? So let me ask you, do any of these things work? I presume not really, or else you wouldn't be reading this. Maybe you try hard to fall asleep. When you do fall asleep quickly it is not because you are trying. If you think back to a time when you fell asleep easily, it was because you weren't doing anything. The harder you try to fall asleep, the harder it will be, because falling asleep is something you don't do! You may suppose that sleeplessness is about what goes on in your bedroom. The truth is, that sleeplessness is about your everyday life and the crux of the matter is about your belief around sleep and whether you believe you can sleep or not, but more about that later. Sleep habits If you are doing anything in bed other than sleep, this weakens your association between bed and sleep. Maybe you are sleeping in the day, which means you are not tired when you go to bed. If you are spending too long in bed, it means you are likely to get less deep sleep. If you spend less time in bed you increase your chance of getting deep sleep. 7 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

8 Asking your doctor for sleeping pills, which, apart from the obvious concern about addiction and the accompanying emotional problems, can mean you are more likely to have a car accident, problems at work and your relationships may suffer. Out of all the clients I have worked with, not one of them has had a positive experience with sleeping pills. I can recall a client thanking me, because, as she said, before working with you I never thought coming off sleeping pills was an option, I have just been to my psychiatrist to ask him if it would be OK for me to cut down my prescription, with a view to stopping my pills, and he has said yes. The fact that she had never thought about coming off them astounded me. Within even a few days she was feeling better, because she didn t have to spend a couple of hours trying to get herself together, after waking up feeling as though she was hungover. A lot of people use alcohol to help them sleep and whilst it has a relaxing effect on the body and can help you to nod off, it is also a stimulant so will not keep you in that relaxed state throughout the night. As anyone who has drunk alcohol knows, you wake early feeling dehydrated and depressed because once the stimulating effect has worn off you are left with the depression and the adrenalin rush as the chemicals leave your body. Alcohol also robs people of deep and REM sleep and keeps them in the lighter stages of sleep. Smokers tend to sleep very lightly and often wake up in the early morning due to nicotine withdrawal. When you take drugs, over the counter remedies, or alcohol, you are strengthening the belief that you will not be able to sleep on your own and you are not trusting in your own ability to be able to sleep. We will look at trust later. If you are looking for a magic cure, forget it. Anti -depressants do not cure depression they numb you out of it. Sleeping pills do not cure sleeplessness they do much the same as anti- depressants and cover up the real problem and make you feel dreadful in the process. So take control, take responsibility. 8 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

9 Let s start with basic sleep health Looking at your sleep health and making a few changes may be enough for you to start getting a good night s sleep, One way to ensure that you get enough sleep is to create a sleep-friendly environment. Where you sleep should be a sign to your body and brain that it's time to rest and sleep Remember that your body needs sleep to repair itself, to stay healthy, and to feel good. Just by making some easy changes to your bedroom you can make a big difference towards getting a better night's sleep. It can be easier than you think, if you just follow some of these suggestions on how to turn your bedroom into your own personal sleep sanctuary. Maintain a comfortable temperature in your bedroom. Extreme temperatures may disrupt your sleep or prevent you from falling asleep. Make sure you have a dark, quiet environment whenever possible and avoid going to sleep with the television or radio on. The darker your bedroom is, the easier it will be to fall, and stay, asleep. Close your curtains and turn off any lights and if you have a digital clock turn it so it doesn t face you. If you don t like waking up in, or don t feel like getting up in the dark, I can recommend a Lumie sunrise alarm lamp which wakes you with a gradual golden glow at the time you set it for. It can also be used in reverse at night to slowly dim into darkness. Keep it your bedroom as quiet as possible. This includes car alarms and even your partner snoring. If you can t control your environment, buy some ear plugs or a white noise machine. Keep your bedroom cool. You will sleep better in a cooler environment, between degrees. If you cannot regulate the temperature in your bedroom, maybe you could get a fan for warmer nights. Make sure that your bed and mattress are supportive and comfortable. This means that it's not just comfortable when you get in it at night, but you feel great when you wake up in the morning. Make sure you have the right bedding on your bed. You need to be at the right temperature so make sure you have the right weight duvet. Also your sheets are important, keep them freshly laundered and crisp. I recommend that you iron them for an extra touch of comfort. A clean, tidy, clutter free bedroom may not seem important, seeing as you are asleep for most of the time that you spend in there, but it can affect your state of mind and stress levels both when you go to bed and when you wake up. One of the most important places to clear if you do have clutter in your bedroom, is your bedside table. If this is laden with books and other things clear them away and tidy out any drawers. If you have a TV in your bedroom take it out. Your bedroom should be just for sleeping A warm bath, reading, or another relaxation can make it easier to fall sleep. You can perhaps associate certain restful activities with sleep and make them part of your bedtime routine. 9 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

10 Leave your mobile phone downstairs or in another room when you go to bed. It will have a big effect on how you sleep. If you use it to wake you then invest in an alarm clock or as I mentioned a sunrise lamp and alarm. And Now the Rules for Deep Sleep Do not make sleep a competition. Everybody has trouble sleeping from time to time, so don't worry if you're having a spate of not sleeping well. Turn off your computer at least one hour before you want to sleep. Don t read, watch TV or use your laptop in bed. If you watch TV before you go to bed make sure it s not a programme that will keep you awake. Spend less time in bed. The less time you spend in bed the better the quality of your sleep. Staying in bed longer in the hope you will catch up on sleep doesn t work. Don t take naps in the day this will just mean that you are less tired when you go to bed. Get up when you can't sleep, don't just lie in bed. Do something else, like reading, watching television, or even cleaning out the fridge, until you feel tired. Return to bed when you begin feeling sleepy, and try not to fall asleep anywhere other than your bedroom. Get up at the same time every day, even at weekends. Generally when you lie in you are not really asleep and altering your sleep pattern at weekends makes it harder to get up on Monday morning. Do nothing in bed only sleep or have sex.whatever else you do weakens your falling asleep response because you associate that activity with bed. Stop the drugs. Pills will not cure your sleeplessness; they will only mask the problem and make you feel dreadful in the process. There is no miracle cure; the change comes from inside you. Stop clock watching. Don t count and record the amount of sleep you have. It is not the amount of sleep, it s the effect it has on you. Once you stop counting it makes the numbers irrelevant. Stop negative talk about your sleep; make only positive statements. The more you tell yourself and others that you can t sleep the more you will believe it. Exercise 20 to 30 minutes a day. Daily exercise will help you sleep and as you will see later it has many more benefits. Do not exercise within two hours of bedtime though. If possible, wake up with the sun, or use very bright lights in the morning. Sunlight helps your body s internal biological clock reset itself each day. People having problems falling asleep are recommended to have exposure to an hour of morning sunlight. Once again this is where the sunrise lamp can help as can light boxes in the winter. Avoid drinks that contain caffeine, which acts as a stimulant and keep you awake. Caffeine is found in coffee, chocolate, soft drinks, non-herbal teas, diet drugs, and some pain relief tablets. Avoid all of 10 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

11 these things for at least 6 to 8 hours before sleeping if you want a good night's sleep. Also, try to avoid eating any kind of large meal within two hours of bedtime. PART TWO Sleeplessness and your Life You now have a list of suggestions as to how to optimise your sleeping environment and routine. So let s get an awareness of sleeplessness and how it may be affecting your life. Are you prepared to make a change? Yes? You ll discover, how you may be holding on to your sleeplessness and what it means to you. Remember the first step, be honest and take responsibility for making a difference to your life, for your own sake, not anyone else's. Try this exercise if you feel you may be a people pleaser, How much of your time and life do you spend thinking about others? How much of your time do you spend thinking about your own needs? Who is the main person you please in your life? Close your eyes and imagine your life, pleasing only yourself 11 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

12 Commit to getting your sleep back to normal. Do not feel you have to do this because it pleases someone else. It has to be for you. You will need energy, and commitment. Are you ready to take control and take responsibility for yourself? Yes? Good, It is important to find out and focus on the price you are paying for your sleeplessness. So now we are going to move on to some questions for you to answer. What problems do have because of your lack of sleep? What is your sleeplessness costing you in; Activities Relationships Health Dreams Family Work Situations you are unable to change And also. 12 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

13 What are your reasons for wanting to sleep more easily? What benefits will you get? Reasons will increase your motivation. Think about, and write down; What activities you will enjoy? How will your social life change? What career move could you make? What will you no longer have to put off? What dreams can you pursue? 13 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

14 What will you no longer have to do? What are your own personal reasons? Now write your 10 compelling reasons for committing to sleeping more easily Think for a moment, if you don t make any changes. What will your life be like 1 year from now? What will you not be able to do? What will it cost you? 14 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

15 What will you be doing that you don t do now? What will you not be able to do? What will your life be like in 1 year from now if you start sleeping better? What will you gain? What will you be doing that you don t do now? What else will you be able to do? What will you not have to worry about? What will you NOT be doing? 15 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

16 CONVERSATION Whatever you tell yourself over and over you will believe. One of the biggest steps to change is changing your conversation. Telling people about your problem in conversation and the words you use are very powerful in creating your identity and state. How do you describe yourself to others? Do you say things like I am a really bad sleeper, maybe you even call yourself an insomniac? If you do this, it very quickly defines you as bad sleeper or an insomniac and then when people see you they may well ask how did you sleep last night? in favour of other topics of conversation, All of this conversation reinforces your identity as someone who doesn't sleep well. By labelling what is in effect a set of behaviours, it has now become an identity, with a life of its own. It needs treatment and special care and conversation. Of course I'm sure that if you discuss the amount of sleep you had with some people they may feel compelled to share their experience of having even less sleep than you. Then what happens? It becomes a bigger and bigger issue, all the time reinforcing identification with sleeplessness and not you, the person. This then may lead to exaggeration of the problem for all concerned with the only winner being sleeplessness. You can be, whoever you choose to be, the more you talk about who you are and identify with it, the more definite it will become. (You can see that it may be a wise move to choose the conversation around who you would like to be instead of who you are now!) The story you tell yourself and others will come true. What is your story and conversation around sleeplessness? What is your conversation around sleep? Take some time to think about this and write it down in your notebook. 16 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

17 One of the most important things you need to know, if you are trying to change your sleep patterns and habits, is just how powerful the words are, that you use in conversation when talking either to yourself, inside your head (never underestimate the power of self-talk) or when you are telling others about how you sleep. You are all the time reinforcing your story with hypnotic power. Start listening to the conversations you have and note down the words and stories you hear yourself use the most. What is it you habitually tell them about how you sleep? Make a note of the things you say about yourself. How do you describe yourself? What identity do you give yourself? Do you call yourself an insomniac for instance? Do you tell others that you NEVER have good night s sleep? 17 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

18 Inside your head does the voice say I ll never get to sleep or maybe I m bound to wake up and not be able to get back to sleep. What does the voice in your head say? List the 10 most important phrases, identities and words you have noticed in your conversations P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

19 Positive self-talk statements Never underestimate the power of self- talk Write out a list of all the negative things you say to yourself. Keep writing until you have exhausted your thought bank, take a moment and then start writing again, repeat this just once more, so by now you have got an almost complete list of negative things you say, or think about yourself and how you sleep. These may be things such as; I never sleep well, I'm such a terrible sleeper, I can't remember the last good night s sleep I had, etc, etc. Now write a new list of the exact opposites of your negative list. For example if your negative is I m such a terrible sleeper, your positive could be I m such a brilliant sleeper. I never sleep well, could be I sleep so well. At this point it matters not whether you believe them just write your list. Make sure all the words you use are positive ones. 19 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

20 Now you have finished the second list, go back to the first one. Read the negative statement, one last time, then, cross it out. I m such a terrible sleeper I never sleep well Now you are left with just your positive list. I m such a brilliant sleeper. I sleep so well. Just check to make doubly sure all these statements are written in the positive, (your unconscious mind will only respond to positive orders). Avoid words like, not, never, haven't, can't, problem or bad. Now read through your positive list and choose the one that seems the most important to you in this moment. It maybe, I love sleeping I want you to do something creative with this statement. Maybe write it in a way that it looks like a poster, I LOVE SLEEPING Or maybe cover the entire next page with it in the form of lines, I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping I love sleeping 20 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

21 You could choose to use some coloured pens and write your words in different colours. Make sure you write them in a way that imprints the words in your mind. You may even find yourself repeating the words to yourself as you write them. This is an affirmation. Repeat it to yourself as often as you can. Each day you choose a different positive statement and write it out in the same way. Remember to repeat it to yourself throughout the day. You may want write your list in your notebook. You are now replacing your negative self- talk with positive affirmations. YOUR LIST OF AFFIRMATIONS To go from a non -sleeper to a sleeper, a really important part of the process is eliminating the negative self-talk. Writing and repeating affirmations in a way that the pattern imprints in your mind will override your negative thoughts. 21 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

22 Putting your Life before Sleeplessness There is one sure way to make sure your sleeplessness grows and that is to take all your time and effort to think and talk about it. Get on forums, check out information online, talk to other people about it all the time and just generally spend most of your time focused on it. This will make sure that you don't have any time to think about anything else and so what you are focusing on grows. Maybe you are already arranging your life and making compromises around sleep. When was the last time you changed a plan or behaviour because of your sleep routine? Have you ever cancelled a special occasion or important event because you have not slept well? Are you are missing out on life and feeding your sleeplessness? How much of your time do you spend focused on your sleeplessness? Do you spend all your time on forums looking for an answer? 22 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

23 When was the last time you cancelled an appointment or night out because of sleep? Are you spending more time in bed than you were before your sleeplessness started? Are you compromising your relationship(s) for the sake of sleep? Are your relationships suffering? What difference would it make if you put your life, instead of sleeplessness, first? 23 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

24 When you start rearranging your life because of sleeplessness, then you know sleeplessness, has become your life. Each time you put your life on hold, or change your plans because of your sleeping patterns, you are making the matter worse. Stop making compromises. Open your mind to the possibility that sleeping could be made easier for you and just go with the process. For the next few days be aware of how many times you find yourself focusing on what is wrong in your life. These things, all too often, are the focus of our attention. Notice how little time you spend thinking about what is right. How much time do you actually spend, thinking about the good things in your life, the sunshine, a coffee with a friend, a child s laughter or a lovely smile? If you have one bad night s sleep followed by three good ones do you focus on the bad night? We all can be obsessed with certain aspects of our lives; how much we hate work, how much weight we have to lose, or how much we dislike our partner, but the thing is, the more time we spend thinking about these matters, the more important they become and the more of our lives they take over. However, have you noticed that when something more important comes along to distract you, your previous problems seem to diminish in comparison? Whatever you focus on, gains energy and grows. So whether you focus on the problem, or the solution, it grows. Fear of sleeping. Anything unfamiliar is likely to disturb your sleep for a short period of time but for sustained disturbed sleep, something else must be contributing to the sleeplessness. Normal sleepers don't even think about whether they can sleep or not, they just trust they can. The unconscious belief that they can sleep, is the very thing that they rely on when they relax into it each night. To fall asleep you need to trust in your ability to sleep. If you have no trust or belief that you can sleep, is it surprising that you cannot just fall asleep? If you believe you have a problem that cannot be solved, then that will be true for you, because that will be your truth. Maybe you believe that you are different and that nothing works for you, in which case it won't, it all comes down to what you believe. You don't believe everything you are told, so why do you believe that you don't sleep well? As I said before, be honest with yourself. You don't know that you can't sleep. 24 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

25 You think or believe you can't. The only way you can change your sleeping habit is by changing your belief and the way you think about it. If you have no trust or belief that you can sleep, is it surprising that you cannot just fall asleep? The more attention you give to sleeplessness the worse it becomes. Let s take a moment to find out your beliefs. For instance, you may believe that you can t sleep without a light on. So where does this belief come from? Maybe something frightened you when you were a teenager and ever since, you have slept with the light on and now believe that you can t sleep in the dark. Does this mean you can t sleep without the light on, or does it mean you believe you can t? Have you tried? What do you believe about sleep? Where does your belief come from? How do you know it to be true? (This doesn t mean because I can t sleep at night.) What evidence have you got for the belief? 25 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

26 Answer these questions for all the beliefs you can think of and then ask yourself this, Are my beliefs really, really, true or do I simply think they are. If I had to stand in a court of law and give evidence to prove them, could I? Could you? Is it time to let some of them go and find more appropriate thoughts and beliefs? What would be more appropriate beliefs for you? Think of at least one different belief you could have. How would life and sleep be different for you if this belief were true? Does your sleeplessness have a purpose? List ALL the reasons and excuses you can think of, Are there things you cover up with sleeplessness? Would there be another way of dealing with these problems? 26 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

27 Why have you got your sleeplessness? Does it protect you from doing anything? Does it keep people away from you? Does it make people love you more or less? Do you use it for control? If you slept better what would you have to do that you don t do now? 27 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

28 When did you decide to be sleepless? What was your reason? What stops you sleeping? You have probably by now, found out some of your beliefs and fears around sleeping. We are all born to have a natural sleeping response, but in times of danger we have the ability to override this. It may be in one of these times that you learned to override your natural sleeping response and that behaviour has now become a habit for you. But rest assured that if you can change it one way then you can change it back again. Hopefully, you are finding out reasons why, you do what you do and by gaining that awareness you have been able to make changes, but what about your fears? What is your greatest fear about sleep? By facing your fear and actually standing with it and not running away, it loses its power over you, much like turning a light on in a dark room, overcomes the darkness. If you manage this, it will change your life and your sleep. Allow and welcome your thoughts and feelings of fear and acknowledge them. Anything you accept and embrace cannot control you, or have power over you. As you feel your fear, sit with the feeling, welcome it, welcome the worry and be that feeling and fear. Don t be scared, the fear cannot hurt you. 28 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

29 Allow the fear to be there and don't fight it. As you allow yourself to be part of the fear, notice, how the fear simply disappears. The same principle works with feelings; by sitting with your feelings, acknowledging they are there, they lose power over you and you can release them easily. Think about it! False Expectations Appearing Real A fear can only be a fear if you are frightened of it. Once you stop being frightened of it, it stops being a fear. You may need the help of a therapist to help you do this. They will help you to pinpoint the place at which you made the change. What have you got to lose by letting your sleeplessness go? Does sleeplessness have a benefit for you? Does sleeplessness prevent you from doing something? 29 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

30 Or does sleeplessness make sure you do something? If you find ways to argue against change, you will stay exactly where you are MOVING FORWARD How are you going to use what you ve discovered? What is different now? What are you doing differently? How do you feel different? Has has your self -talk changed? How? 30 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

31 Your Learning Your Changes Your Actions What have you gained? What will your life be like if you get started NOW? 31 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

32 What will your life be like if you don t? What will your life be ike in a years time having made changes NOW? What will you be doing? How will life be different? What will you be glad about? 32 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

33 A word about Exercise If your muscles are tired when you go to bed you are more likely to rest and sleep well. Working all day at a computer and then going home to the TV will not make you tired physically and therefore by the time you get to bed you will not be tired enough for restful sleep. Making sure you get regular exercise is a sure way to make yourself feel better, not only so you will sleep well but it has an effect on your mood. People who walk regularly know, that it always makes them feel better and generally put it down to being in the fresh air and getting some exercise, but actually, walking has another effect that is not generally known. Because it is a bi-lateral movement, it works to process your thoughts from both the logical side and the emotional side. As you think things over as you walk along, it gives you a chance to release thoughts and emotions which you would not generally have chance to process. Try this exercise to prove how it could work for you. Before you go out for your walk, think about something that has been maybe worrying you recently and make a note of how you feel about it on a scale of As you walk, let the thoughts around this worry come into your head talk them through with yourself and if it is appropriate speak out loud about it. Don't dwell on things but just let the thoughts come and go. Match your stride to your mood and notice how different you feel when you return. Now rate your feeling about the worry, Has it gone down in intensity? How do you feel about that worry now? 33 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

34 Relaxation techniques If you can t sleep because your mind is busy and you can't switch off, it is important to have a way to slow your thoughts down. In a busy world and life, this is sometimes not easy. I know that if I have a lot going on in my life, it is hard to get my thoughts to stop. When this happens to me, I play Journey to relaxation and find that works to stop my mind chatter and give myself a chance to switch off. Relaxation recordings can be useful but you may find you need to be familiar with them before you feel safe enough to just relax into them. Also, it is important, I have found, to have a voice that soothes you instantly, otherwise it puts you in that non trust position which does not aid relaxation. For you, it may be about relaxing your body in small stages or concentrating on your breathing. Progressive muscle relaxation Imagine that a wave of warm molten liquid is traveling through your body, beginning at the top of your head, going down to the tips of your toes. As it passes through each of your muscles, they fill with warmth, release tension and relax. Imagery If you find that your mind is racing when you are trying to relax, just imagine you're travelling fast on a train. See your thoughts as pictures whizzing past outside the windows of the train. Concentrate on being inside the train and letting your thoughts be on the outside As your journey through this workbook draws to a close, I hope you have managed to find along the way, everything you needed to be able to settle down for the night and drift, easily, into deep, restful, healing sleep. I wish you a good night s sleep. Jill Roberts ZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ 34 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

35 WAKING UP Listen to audio Waking Up How are you feeling about today? Why? Review your action list from last night. Start with what is most important for you to do and number the tasks 1-6. As you complete each task, cross it off your list and then re-prioritise the remaining tasks. It s amazing how good it makes to feel to have a definite daily plan and the sense of achievement is great as you go through the day crossing things off your list. Morning Writing The aim of Morning Writing (described as Morning Pages in The Artists Way ) is to write without conscious thought for three pages about literally anything that comes into your mind. It doesn t need to make sense and you don t edit it as you go, you simply write without thinking about it. You will be surprised to find how this clears all the thoughts that you have in the morning so that you have a clear head with which to face the day. You ll need an A4 notebook and a pen,that is all. Start writing as soon after you have got up as you can and preferably before you do anything else, It is not meant to be journaling or diary keeping. It is a brain dump. At first this may seem a little strange and like hard work but start by writing just however much you feel comfortable or have time to do. You will soon find that it comes more easily and clears your head so you can focus more clearly on the day. 35 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

36 Even if you write one sentence it will be worth doing. Write about anything. It does not have to have a purpose, it is not for anyone else to read. Do not re-read or edit it as you go. Simply put pen to paper and find out what you write about. If you get stuck on how to start, either ask yourself a question you would like the answer to, or maybe, begin by writing the words, Today I. 36 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

37 WINDING DOWN At the end of your day but before bedtime listen to the audio winding down Before you can sleep you need to stop worrying about sleep, so you are going to write down what s on your mind, to clear all your worries, so you can sleep easily. You may like to keep a record in your notebook to show your progress and to give you something to look back on. Alternatively you can print out these sheets to write on. Record the positive about today (write down all good things no matter how small) How do I feel about my life? (1 is not so good, 10 is brilliant) Why? 37 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

38 My worry list Dump all your worries here, all of them, everything that s on your mind. Get it out of your system. Remember if you want to continue worrying you can do that tomorrow but for tonight realise that there s nothing you can do until the morning so you may as well rest and recuperate so you have more energy to deal with things then. So start writing. 38 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

39 My wish list This list can be as short or as long as you want but make sure they are positive wishes and as you write them down just imagine yourself as though they have already come true. Really imagine yourself. What are you seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling, or tasting. Make the images and sounds real and know that wishes can come true (as long as you really believe they will and give them time and space in which to develop) 39 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s

40 Things I would like to or have to get done tomorrow (these can be the simplest of things not just major tasks) Just make a list for now. You can prioritise it in the morning Now what s on my mind? This can be done just as you are getting into bed. Briefly write down anything that is on your mind. Know that you can deal with it in the morning but for now you are going to sleep. 40 P a g e D e e p H e a l i n g S l e e p J i l l R o b e r t s