Conflict Management. Conflict. Conflict. The Phases of Conflict

Transcription

1 Management Assertive & Constructive Communications Objectives and Expectations Understand skills and mindsets needed to be an assertive communicator Staff to have strategies to keep difficult conversations constructive and outcome focussed Staff to have practised delivery and use of self management techniques What is conflict? How does conflict make you feel? What are the seen and unseen results of conflict?? Is this why conflict is so uncomfortable? The Phases of Prelude to conflict Trigger Event Separating and Dividing may have 3 outcomes. Only 1 of these outcomes is constructive, treats all parties with respect & builds relationships. Tensions Crisis Win Lose / Lose Win Lose Lose Win Win 1

2 5 popular styles of conflict resolution 5 popular styles of conflict resolution ASSERTIVENESS Unassertive Assertive Avoidance Compromise Collaboration Accommodation ASSERTIVENESS Unassertive Assertive Win/Lose Aggressive Avoidance Lose/Lose Passive Compromise Lose/Lose Mid ground Collaboration Win/Win Assertive Accommodation Lose/Win Passive Uncooperative COOPERATIVENESS Uncooperative COOPERATIVENESS Adapted from the Resolution Network Adapted from the Resolution Network Win / Win Each party needs to approach the situation with assertiveness & cooperation Own needs Aggressive Collaborative What is assertive communication? Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognises our rights whilst still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. And it allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists. It is about choice What is assertive communication? Responding not reacting: Self Awareness Self Management of the situation Language using I Statements Set of Behaviours that show confidence Not passive or aggressive! 2

3 S +... = R Between the Stimulus and Response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our Response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. I began to discover in that space my own ability to make a consciously chosen response. Self awareness Responsive v s Reactive Stimulus Thinking Response S + T = R Hit the PAUSE button S. Covey First Things First Choosing to Respond that the other person s behaviour is their choice. Their behaviour is their responsibility. that in every situation there is at least two different opinions. You don t take other people s reactions personally. that this is not about the person but about tasks or behaviours. Self Management If you feel confident and safe to speak with the other person. Speaking up for yourself and your values. Nipping the situation in the bud. Being part of the solution. Being proactive. Changing the culture. I Statement I feel sad, angry, lonely, annoyed Structure (Taking responsibility for your own feelings) When I m..shouted at, not being listened to.. (Stating the behaviour/action that is the problem) Because I feel unwelcome, less valued (What are the consequences that you object to?) And I would like/prefer it if (Offering a preferred alternative behaviour/action) Can you agree? Is that something you can do? (Gaining agreement/buy in) -Do not attribute blame -Focus on behaviour -Do not use judging/adjective type words When to use I statements As an immediate response to a conflict situation. When you need to approach others about their behaviour/actions towards you When you feel sad, angry, defensive When you feel you are not being treated properly, fairly, respectfully When others are angry with us When you don t understand 3

4 Using I statements Quit saying my ideas are crap. You are really making me mad! If you stopped talking with everyone in the office, I wouldn t have to keep reminding you to get your work done. You really are infuriating. Working here is impossible. No one helps when they can clearly see that I am stressed and under pressure. Stop singing. I can t think. You are so inconsiderate. Assertive Behaviours *Eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity & assertiveness *Body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message *Emotions: neutralise emotions in your voice, facial expression and body language *Voice: an even, well modulated tone is more convincing & acceptable, and is not intimidating *Listening: Allowing the other person to speak while you actively listen *Open up the conversation/communication Are you really listening? Active Listening - listen carefully - allow time for the person to have their say - show concern and encouragement (e.g.. "I'm concerned that you feel that way...") - express empathy (e.g.. "I understand how that might make you feel...") - ask open-ended questions ("Tell me about that"... "What was that like?") - acknowledge & validate. You don t have to agree just validate that this is how they feel/what they think - receive the whole message before responding - summarise and paraphrase, helping the person to express their needs (e.g.. "What I hear you saying is... is that correct?") Expand the conversation Learning and Inquiry I have noticed that it seems... Is this how you see it? What do you think is happening there? How do you think this can be changed? OPEN QUESTIONS GOOD LISTENING 4

5 No need to talk like you are walking on egg shells Resolution It s worth the effort! enquiries@wpcr.com.au Mediation Grievance Investigation Training Policy Review 5