Resilience and Thriving in the Face of Change and Adversity Presenter: Bill Hefferman. all rights reserved PeopleFirm LLC 2016

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1 Resilience and Thriving in the Face of Change and Adversity Presenter: Bill Hefferman all rights reserved PeopleFirm LLC 2016

2 Munich, 2005

3 Hillsboro, 2012

4 Resilience It s a big deal. You already do it you re wired for it. You can do it even better. It takes awareness and practice. It s all practice.

5 Our big questions for today What is resilience? And why does it matter to each of us? How can we tell when we are resilient and when we re not? What do neuroscience and psychology have to tell us about all this? How can we develop resilience in ourselves and others? How can I get started? And how can I learn more? Q&A here... and after

6 Our big questions for today What is resilience? And why does it matter? How can we tell when we are resilient and when we re not? What do neuroscience and psychology have to tell us about all this? How can we develop resilience in ourselves and others? How can I get started? And how can I learn more?

7 Resilience is the ability to remain strong during and/or become strong again after facing adversity or change. The ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc. Merriam-Webster To thrive is to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances. Merriam-Webster

8 EXERCISE 1 Describe a work situation that might be helped if others were more consistently resilient. Describe a work or home situation that might be helped if you were more consistently resilient.

9 EXERCISE 2 Resilience role models (in pairs) Who for you is a role model of change resilience? Work colleague or leader (or someone else if can t think of work example) Someone you know personally... or not Past or present Face change and adversity in a positive, productive, helpful way What makes them a role model for you? Describe their resilient behaviors, attitudes, and/or other characteristics 9

10 Resilience Behaviors Language Attitudes Other characteristics Non-resilience Behaviors Language Attitudes Other characteristics

11 broaden and build tend and befriend be s we s sage thrive compassion understanding acceptance challenge connection growth engagement co-creator orientation fight flight freeze have s me s survive saboteurs judgement blaming complaining threat isolation stagnation avoidance victim orientation

12 Our big questions for today ü What is resilience? And why does it matter? ü How can we tell when we are resilient and when we re not? What do neuroscience and psychology have to tell us about all this? How can we develop resilience in ourselves and others? How can I get started? And how can I learn more?

13 Our big questions for today ü What is resilience? And why does it matter? ü How can we tell when we are resilient and when we re not? What do neuroscience and psychology have to tell us about all this? How can we develop resilience in ourselves and others? How can I get started? And how can I learn more?

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15 Start

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17 Default Mode of Brain Below the Line Overall negativity bias and judgement of self and others. The way that things are wrong and how they should be. Time travel to past or future while skipping over the here and now. Everything in reference to you and your identity (ego). Social comparison. Who and how we are in relation to others.

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20 Catch and Switch Below the Line Above the Line Catch Switch

21 Practice and train your mind and change your brain Neurons that fire together wire together States become traits Attention density Self-directed neuroplasticity

22 broaden and build tend and befriend be s we s sage thrive compassion understanding acceptance challenge connection growth engagement co-creator orientation fight flight freeze have s me s survive saboteurs judgement blaming complaining threat isolation stagnation avoidance victim orientation

23 Our big questions for today ü What is resilience? And why does it matter? ü How can we tell when we are resilient and when we re not? ü What do neuroscience and psychology have to tell us about all this? How can we develop resilience in ourselves and others? How can I get started? And how can I learn more?

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25 Three kinds of resilience practice Urgent Care Resilience Situational Resilience Daily Resilience

26 Situational Resilience Daily Resilience Urgent Care Resilience

27 Three kinds of resilience practice Urgent Care Resilience Situational Resilience Daily Resilience

28 ü Be patient and compassionate with yourself and others. ü Remember how stress can help Urgent Care Resilience

29 It s all in your perception... Stress Does Survive this bad Mode come for from me stress?... AND Resilience And how stress about and can this? Thrive help me. Mode Judgement, blame, shame Fixed mindset stagnation Threat Isolation Avoidance Fight, flight, freeze Negativity bias Victim orientation Compassion, empathy Growth mindset learning, PTG Challenge Connection Engagement Tend-and-Befriend 5:1 positive/negative interactions Co-creator orientation

30 People who believe that stress can be helpful are more likely to... Accept reality. Look for deeper purpose and meaning. Seek information, help, and advice. How to make stress your friend Kelly McGonigal Strategize how to address root cause. Take steps to deal with root cause. See the good in the bad learn, and grow.

31 ü Be patient and compassionate with yourself and others. ü Remember that stress can help us to Engage with challenges Connect with others Learn from experience Urgent Care Resilience ü Turn on your AMP! Acceptance Meaning Planning

32 EXERCISE 3 Turn on your AMP! 1. Acceptance 2. Meaning 3. Planning Urgent Care Resilience

33 ü What are your bigger-than-self goals? ü What would you tell your best friend? ü Fixed mindset vs. growth mindset Situational Resilience

34 Let s play... Change that Mindset! EXERCISE 4 Fixed Mindset I madea mistake. I don t have very good analytical skills. I ll never get a rating any higher than meets expectations. I m never going to get this. There s no way we can do this. Growth Mindset

35 ü Catch-and-switch ü Gratitude Three blessings George Bailey gratitude 1-minute gratitude EXERCISE 5 Daily Resilience ü Set a daily intention

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37 EXERCISE 6 Your daily resilience practice 1. What is one work or home situation that might be helped if you were more consistently resilient? 2. What one resilience practice can you try every day for the next three weeks? (Make it insanely doable.) 3. What is your PLAN? When will you do it? How will you remind yourself? How will you hold yourself accountable? With whom will you talk about it?

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39 And because we all suffer from the illusion that we re too busy... resilience in a nutshell Life is one big long resilience practice. Show up for practice. Or you will sit on the bench. Are you above the line or below the line? If you re below the line, welcome to being human. Accept it. Don t panic. First: Compassion, empathy, and patience. Be your own best friend. Then extend that to others. Second: Chase meaning. Clarify bigger-than-self goals. Then expect and accept the discomfort that rides along.

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41 . Want more? Free webinar Additional resilience exercises

42 Some of my favorite resilience and thriving resources Books The upside of stress by Kelly McGonigal Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine Mindset by Carol Dweck Just one thing by Rick Hanson You are not your brain by Jeffrey Schwartz Real Happiness at Work by Sharon Salzberg The Power of TED by David Emerald Videos How to make stress your friend by Kelly McGonigal (TED) Know your inner saboteurs by Shirzad Chamine The power of believing that you can improve by Carol Dweck Hardwiring happiness by Rick Hanson Grit: the power of passion and perseverance by Angela Lee Duckworth 75-year Harvard Study: Happiness comes from one thing by Robert Waldinger