Becoming an Emotionally Healthy Christian

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1 Becoming an Emotionally Healthy Christian Teaching #1 - Made in God s Image: Emotions Included Gary J. Oliver, Ph.D. We are Image Bearers So What? What does it mean to be made in the image of God? A part of what that means is that, just like God, we have a, we have a, and we have. Psalm 139:14 the psalmist states that I am fearfully and wonderfully made few places where the delicate complexity of what it means to be made in the image of God is more evident than in the emotional side of who He has made us to be. How Did Sin Affect God s Image in Us? Sin damaged and distorted but sin didn t God s image in us. Sin erected barriers between God & us... between each other, and within ourselves. What Happens When We Are Saved? Justification Sanctification Glorification We have been saved We are being saved We will be saved Past Present Future Redemption Redemption Redemption Romans 8:24 II Cor 2:15 Romans 5:9-10 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are BEING SAVED and those who are perishing. (2 Corinthians 2:15)

2 And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord s glory, are BEING TRANSFORMED into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18) Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are BEING RENEWED day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old things passed away; new things have come. (2 Cor. 5:17, NASB) The Bible tells us that we experience a radical transformation when we are saved; at the same time the consequences which sin has had on our mind, will & emotions don t magically disappear. What is God s Desire for Us? Romans 8:28-29a Become conformed Hebrews 5:11-14 Grow Up Hebrews 6:1 Let s press on to maturity How do some people measure spiritual maturity? Who is the most godly, Christ-like, mature & personally influential Christian you ve ever known? The most Biblical measure of maturity is the degree to which we are looking, loving & sounding just like our Lord Jesus Christ! Mark 12:30 John 13:34-35 John 17:23 I Corinthians 13 Ephesians 5:1-2 1 Timothy 1:5 The fact is that we cannot be spiritually mature and emotionally immature because... as go our emotions so go our relationships!

3 What are Emotions and Why are They Important? Emotions are the motivating forces of our lives, driving us to go ahead, pushing us backward, stopping us completely, determining what we do, how we feel, what we want, and whether we get what we want. Our hates, loves, fears, and what to do about them are determined by our emotional structure. There is nothing in our lives that does not have the emotional factor as its mainspring. It gives us power, or makes us weak, operates for our benefit or to our detriment, for our happiness or confusion. Emotional experiences involve the sensory, skeletal, motor, autonomic, and cognitive aspects of who God has made us to be. The Surprising Road to Success: From IQ to EQ The Limitations of IQ IQ (cognitive intelligence) gets you in the door but not necessarily promoted. IQ shows no causal correlation with success. IQ doesn t increase over time. The Contributions of EQ EQ (emotional intelligence) gets you promoted. EQ is a much more accurate predictor of success. Your EQ can increase over time. 2 Clusters of Competencies that ARE Predictors of Success: Personal Competencies: -personal intelligence (EQ) - personal intelligence (RQ) EQ + RQ = ERQ ERQ involves the intelligent use of emotions for ourselves (EQ) and in our relationships (RQ). What is Emotional Intelligence? The ability to be aware of, recognize and understand our own feelings and those of others and to constructively manage those emotions in ourselves and in our relationships. (Gary J. Oliver, Ph.D.)

4 Recognition (Knowledge/Awareness) Regulation (Management/Action) Other (RQ) (INTERpersonal) Self (EQ) (INTRApersonal) Throughout Scripture, God makes it clear that RELATIONSHIPS are an absolutely essential component in the process of becoming conformed to the image of our Lord Jesus Christ! The Neurology of Healthy Relationships The Emotional Brain helps us make decisions. What Does the Amygdala Do? Stores partial memories of threatening and painful events. Its job is to keep us alive... The amygdala is our Department of Homeland Security, our Emotional sounds the alarm, activates the Fight, Flight or Freeze response, it reacts rather than responds, and releases chemicals throughout our entire body. The amygdala reacts it does NOT distinguish between real or imagined threats. It does not distinguish between physical, emotional or social threats. Real or imagined, a threat is a threat...

5 Sound the alarm... All hands on deck... Get ready to react... As our feelings change, this mixture of neurotransmitters travels throughout your body and your brain... and they're literally changing the chemistry in EVERY cell of your body. (Dr. Candace Pert) What is an Amygdala Hijack? 1. There is a. 2. There is an reaction. 3. There is emotion. 4. There is a subsequent feeling of. The Rational Brain helps us make decisions. The brain process information in milliseconds. The brain processes information in milliseconds 250 times longer. WHY are Emotions so Important? Research tells us that as go our emotional self-awareness, emotional self-control and empathy skills so goes the of our leadership, our relationships and the overall quality of our life! WHAT Are Emotions? Emotions are a mental state that can arise spontaneously or through conscious effort. Emotions involve a cognitive impact behavioral impact physiological impact (respiratory, cardiovascular & hormonal)

6 There are over words to describe emotions. There are muscles in our face that we use to express them. Emotions are a great source of. What Are Some Key Characteristics Of Emotions? 1. You can have emotions and not be aware of them. 2. Emotions are hardest to observe while them. 3. Emotions have a stimulus/response effect In other words, almost always what we leads to what we. 4. Emotions have a effect. It makes my blood boil Pain in the neck It made my hair stand on end It left a bad taste in my mouth Have a heartache / broken heart 5. Feelings don t always equal. Just because I something doesn t necessarily mean it is true. 6. If we don t stay aware of and our emotions, they will control us. In The Cry of the Soul, Dan Allender and Tremper Longman describe why it is so important to listen to and deal with our emotions: Ignoring our emotions is turning our back on reality; listening to our emotions ushers us into reality. And reality is where we meet God... Emotions are the language of the soul. They are the cry that gives the heart a voice... In neglecting our intense emotions, we are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God. We forget that change comes through brutal honesty and vulnerability before God. HOW Do Our Emotions Affect Us? 1. Emotions tell us we have a. 2. Emotions affect our. 3. Emotions give to our thoughts. 4. Emotions us to respond.

7 5. Emotions inspire from others. 6. Emotions communicate what can t. 7. What we influences. What we pay attention to What we hear How we think What we remember How we make decisions and the quality of those decisions What Factors Impact How We DO Our Emotions? Gender Age Family of Origin Religion/Spirituality Ethnicity Personality Type Education Life Experience Can We Control Our Emotions?, not totally... but while we can t always control what we feel, we can to a significant degree control how long we feel it. With God s help we change our emotional pattern! Empathy: sensing other s feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns. Empathy IS: People don t care how much you, until they know how much you! Choosing to. Level 1 Understanding: The I thought I heard you say. Level 2 Understanding What you didn t say with your lips, what you might not have been able to put into words, but what you said with your eyes & face & heart.

8 I will be able to resolve or deal with what I don t CHOOSE to understand. Being. emotions in others. that someone is in pain. Knowing what to say. Seeing things through eyes. Using our & brain. Remembering that the best way to care someone is to care them. WHY is it so dang hard to change and grow? WHY are good intentions not even close to good enough? The Neurobiology of Change & Growth... Neuroplasticity So Now What? 1. Thank God that He made you in His image with a mind, a will and emotions. 2. Thank God for the good gift of your emotions. 3. Ask God to give you an open mind & open heart for what He wants to teach you in this series about your love relationship with Him and with others and your God-given ability to change and grow.

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