EFT Tapping Basics. Jessica Dorzinsky. Fully Alive EFT & Coaching

Transcription

1 EFT Tapping Basics Jessica Dorzinsky Fully Alive EFT & Coaching

2 Learn to Tap on Your Own Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, is a fantastic tool for releasing negative and intense emotions. It allows us to make shifts in our thinking that we may have been trying to achieve for a long time. What makes EFT unique is that these breakthroughs tend to occur faster than they do with other techniques. We also don t have to rely on using willpower or mental gymnastics to try to change our negative thought habits when we tap. The change seems to occur at the root of the problem. When we learn to tap on our own, we can often make breakthroughs without the help of a coach. When we combine it with EFT coaching, we get better results, and much faster than we do without tapping between appointments. What Can EFT Be Used For? I ve worked with people using EFT to reach many types of breakthroughs. Some of these include: Conquering negative beliefs about our self-worth or self-image Resolving fears that keep us from living to our potential Releasing pessimistic attitudes and becoming naturally open and optimistic Developing the ability to self-express, say no, and ask for what we need Stopping old patterns of conflict within relationships I created this PDF because tapping in between regular sessions is a really helpful tool for getting unstuck as fast as possible. You re the most important part of making these shifts happen! How Long Does It Take to Resolve My Issues? Generally speaking, the longer we ve had an issue, or the more complex it is, the longer it can take to unwind it. Conversely, for smaller, less complex or recent-past issues, we tend to get clearance from them in less time. When using EFT at home, how fast you progress is largely dependent on two things: your ability to be introspective (see what s going on), and your commitment to tap rather than ruminate or distract yourself from the problem. fullyalive.ca 1

3 For some people it takes only one session to feel like they ve resolved their issue. More often, we unravel our issues over a period of days to months sometimes needing external guidance to be able to see stubborn blind spots, and then providing a positive counterpoint to the old beliefs. If we have traumatic memories or especially intense emotional experiences, these can overwhelm us when we try to confront them, especially if we re new to tapping. In these cases, it s best to work with an EFT practitioner (who can also be a counsellor or therapist). fullyalive.ca 2

4 The EFT Tapping Points This is EFT in a nutshell. We re going to look at each of the points and how to tap on them next. fullyalive.ca 3

5 Description of the Tapping Points Each of these points can be tapped on either side of the body, with either hand, although only one side is shown above. Some people like to tap both sides at the same time. After tapping on the hand for the Setup Phrase, the tapping points go from the top of the head down the body. You can repeat the sequence, tapping on each point from the top down, multiple times during each round of tapping. Tap each point 5-7 times. It doesn t have to be an exact count in fact, counting would disrupt the process. Think of tapping at each spot for about the time it takes to speak a simple sentence. Two fingers usually does it, except for when we tap the Karate Chop point. The Karate Chop Point This is the meaty part of the side of your hand, below your pinky finger and above your wrist. Think the part of your hand that would deliver a karate chop! Tap here with 3-4 fingers during the Setup Phrase (which we ll cover shortly). This is the only point you ll likely find yourself tapping more than 5-7 times, because it will take longer to speak your Setup Phrase. Top of the Head Imagine drawing a line from the top of one ear, across the top of your head, to the top of the other ear. This would be a midline between the front and back of your head. Now imagine drawing a second line from the middle of your forehead back along your head to the middle of your neck. This would divide the left and right sides of your head. Now picture where these two lines would intersect on the top of your head. This is your next tapping point. Inside of the Eyebrow This is a point at the beginning of your eyebrow. You ll be tapping on and slightly above your eyebrow. If you drew a line straight down from here, you would be between the inside edge of your eye and the side of your nose. Outside of the Eye This point is just outside your eye, where we get crow s feet. It s not actually on the temple, but rather on the bone surrounding your eye. Under the Eye This point is under the centre of your eye, where your pupil would be if you look straight ahead, on the bone. If you re tapping on your cheek, you re too low. fullyalive.ca 4

6 Under the Nose Tap under your nose, above your lip. It s OK if your fingers tap on a wider space, you just want to be in the centre. Chin This point is on the indent midway between your chin and your bottom lip. Under the Collarbone With your fingers, feel underneath your collarbone. You ll notice that you can press in underneath the bone a bit, particularly closer to your shoulder. Find any space along your collarbone that you can feel this indentation. Now press and move your fingers inward along your collarbone, toward the centre of your body. At some point, this indentation will disappear and you ll be pressing on or close to your sternum. Press and feel for a tender spot in this area. You should be under your collarbone, above your first rib, and around where these bones meet your sternum. Ask me in session if you have trouble locating this spot. Under the Arm This spot is located on the side of your body, between one or two hand widths below your armpit. You should be tapping on your ribs here, not the muscles of your back. Women will find this spot is located in the centre of their bra strap. Now we re ready to learn how to use this sequence with words. You re going to choose an issue to tap on, rate its intensity, create a setup phrase and a reminder phrase, and then pause for a deep breath. This will be one round of tapping. We ll be looking at positive reframes and more detailed techniques in later sections. fullyalive.ca 5

7 The Tapping Sequence One round of tapping will look like this: 1. Choose an issue to tap on and give it a descriptive title. 2. Rate the intensity of your issue on a scale of one to ten. 3. Start tapping on your karate chop point while repeating your setup phrase 1-3 times. 4. Next, begin tapping the sequence of 8 points, starting at the top of your head, while repeating your reminder phrase at each point. 5. Keep tapping on this sequence of 8 points, using your reminder phrase, until you start to feel the emotions clear. 6. Now stop tapping, pause, and take a deep breath. 7. Re-rate the intensity of your issue on a scale of one to ten. We ll look at how to do this in detail now. Choose an Issue and Give it a Title Now s the time to choose something that you d like to tap on. Look for anything that has been causing you stress or around which you re feeling stuck. Here are some examples of common issues: I messed up during the last meeting at work This knee pain is keeping me from things I love doing I m too shy to join the swing dance class Mom made me feel guilty last weekend at dinner I wish I didn t carry this extra weight You re going to start by giving your a title. Think of the title to a movie it doesn t give away the plot, but it describes the essence of the film. Your title will do the same. It summarizes your issue in one simple sentence. The title of my issue: fullyalive.ca 6

8 Rate the Intensity How intense is your issue right now on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 means it s not intense, and a 10 means it s extremely intense. Resist the urge to intellectualize your issue. For example, say you want to lose weight. When you ask yourself how intense this issue is, you might start immediately start telling yourself well, I weighed more after having the baby, so it s not as bad. We often have a tendency to invalidate our own emotional experiences. We think, I don t really have a right to be upset. Or sometimes, I know logically that this isn t really a big problem, it s just my fears speaking. For this part, you need to give your gremlins the microphone. Let yourself feel the emotions, without the explaining them away. Now try giving the issue a rating on a scale of 1 to 10. Go ahead and rate your issue: / 10 The Setup Phrase We start each new round of tapping with the Setup Phrase. It provides the exposure to our issue, which triggers the emotions. We pair it with a positive phrase about ourselves. The purpose of the Setup Phrase is to trigger the issue in our minds for the round of tapping. When we focus on a negative issue while tapping, we send signals to our brain to relax. We say: Even though [I have this issue], I still deeply and completely accept myself. For example: Even though my shyness is keeping me from doing the things I love, I still deeply and completely accept myself. Even though Mom made me feel guilty at dinner last weekend, I still deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I m feeling so depressed this winter, I still deeply and completely accept myself. We repeat a Setup Phrase 1-3 times at the start of every new round of tapping. The more specific we are with our setup phrase, the better so long as it doesn t turn into a run-on setup phrase! Pick words that evoke the emotions or memories for you. fullyalive.ca 7

9 Here are some questions to help you be more specific with your Setup Phrase: Did a specific event occur? Even though I was insulted in front of my colleagues this week, I still deeply and completely accept myself. Be introspective - did something in particular upset you about an event? What s sticky? Even though I feel ashamed for having stayed in that abusive relationship for 2 years when I knew it was wrong, I still deeply and completely accept myself. It s not the abuse that s being tapped on here, even though that s also an issue. What s most upsetting for this person is the idea that they stayed when they knew they should leave. That s what needs tapping on for the issue to collapse. Is there a physical feeling in my body? If so, what are the exact sensations, location, intensity? Even though I have this sharp, hot pain in my lower back and its really intense right now, I still deeply and completely accept myself. Does the feeling or physical sensation have a colour or shape/image associated with it? Even though this heavy, black cloud of depression is hanging around me, I still deeply and completely accept myself. Note if you have trouble saying, I still deeply and completely accept myself, you can say I m still moving toward loving and accepting myself or it s still OK to love and accept myself instead. Even though I m so nervous for this job interview and have butterflies in my stomach, I m still moving towards loving and accepting myself. My Setup Phrase fullyalive.ca 8

10 The Reminder Phrase The Reminder Phrase is what you say out loud while you tap on the points starting at the top of your head down your body. You ll repeat the same phrase at each tapping point. The purpose of the Reminder Phrase is to keep you focused on your issue while you tap. Yes, we want to focus on the negative here. Really focus on your issue and the emotions around it while you tap. Avoid the temptation to self-soothe. You also don t need to incorporate a positive reframe in order for tapping to be effective. Your Reminder Phrase should be short and simple. It should trigger the memory or emotion you re trying to tap on. You can use the title of your issue as your Reminder Phrase. This sharp, hot pain in my back. This fear of flying. This guilt from last week. This heavy cloud of depression. Another way to phrase it could be: Feeling so powerless right now. Feeling overwhelmed with anxiety right now. Feeling unsafe in my body. Or you can state your emotions like this: Worried I ruined everything. Scared to get on the plane. Afraid I won t measure up. Pick one phrase that works for you, and stick with it for the full round of tapping. My reminder phrase: Repeat the tapping sequence from head to body with your Reminder Phrase (you don t have to repeat your Setup Phrase again) until your intensity begins to drop significantly. You should feel the intensity come down or the emotions shift while you tap. That s when you know you can stop. fullyalive.ca 9

11 Take a deep breath and then re-rate your issue Pause a moment and breathe, checking in with yourself. Now re-rate your issue now on a scale of one to ten. Compare it to the old rating. Old rating: / 10 New Rating: / 10 And that is one round of tapping! The Basic Tapping Sequence Summarized One round of tapping should look like this: 1. Choose a title for your issue. 2. Rate your issue on a scale of one to ten. 3. State your setup phrase 1-3 times while tapping on your karate chop point. 4. Begin the tapping sequence of 8 points, starting at the top of your head, while repeating your reminder phrase at each point. 5. Repeat this sequence of 8 points, using your reminder phrase, until the intensity comes down. 6. Take a deep breath. 7. Re-rate your issue on a scale of one to ten. What if My Issue is Still Intense? If you re-rate your issue and it s still intense (4 or above), repeat the round of tapping. This time, you re going to change what you say slightly. Your new Setup Phrase is going to be: Even though I still [have this issue], I deeply and completely accept myself. fullyalive.ca 10

12 Even though I m still feeling anxious, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I tapped on this back pain and it s still bothering me, I m moving toward loving and accepting myself. Then you re going to repeat the round of tapping with a new Reminder Phrase that also uses the word still. This could be your movie title with the word still in front of it. Still feeling stressed about work. Still upset about what she said. Still feeling depressed. Do your new round of tapping, starting with your new Setup Phrase, and using your new Reminder Phrase. Really emphasize the word still when you speak. This is part of what s upsetting about your issue that it s not a quick fix. Take a deep breath. And now re-rate your issue. This technique often brings the intensity down to 1-2. fullyalive.ca 11

13 Clearing Issues Most issues take multiple rounds of tapping to clear. So if you still feel intense, or you feel a new emotion come up, you will tap on that for your next round. Here s what you ll do after each round of tapping: 1. Feel for what is coming up in your thoughts, physical sensations, memories or emotions. What s feeling intense now? 2. Begin a new round of tapping on the next intense thing that arises (it may be the same issue if your intensity didn t entirely come down). Stay focused on that one thought, memory, physical sensation, or emotion while you tap a new round, starting with the setup phrase. 3. After that round, check to see if there s still any intensity with what you just tapped on. And then check again on your original issue. Did the intensity come down there too? Has the intensity moved anywhere else? Chase that intensity to where it is now. Start a new round of tapping on it. Continue until the intensity has come down on your whole issue. 4. If you get stuck and can t collapse an issue tap with someone else! Let them guide you and help you uncover what to tap on. If you have trauma, definitely tap with someone else who has experience clearing traumatic memories. Triggering your traumatic memories will leave you feeling emotionally flooded let someone else be the guide here. For example, Julia has back pain that she wants to tap on. She starts by tapping on this back pain, which I rate at 9/10. She does a round of tapping, then she checks in. The pain has come down a bit, to 6/10, but she still doesn t feel great. So she asks herself, what am I feeling intense about still? The pain and.. hmmm.. frustrated that I have to deal with this pain! So Julia rates the intensity of her frustration at 8/10. She starts a new round of tapping on the frustration. Even though I m so frustrated that I always have this back pain, I still deeply and completely accept myself She finishes the round of tapping on the frustration. She re-rates it. Now the frustration is down to 2/10. The back pain has also come down to 4/10. But it s still there. Julia asks, What am I feeling intense about now? Hrmm Feeling hopeless that I ll ever be pain free! She rates the hopelessness at 8/10. fullyalive.ca 12

14 So she taps on the hopelessness. Even though I feel hopeless that I ll ever be pain free, I still deeply and completely accept myself. Now she re-rates the hopelessness. She s come down to 3/10. She also re-rates her back pain. She s come down to 2/10. Julia feels for whether anything is left to tap on. She doesn t have any specific thoughts, but she does have some lingering tension in her back. So Julia taps once more Even though I still have this lingering tension in my back, I still deeply and completely accept myself And now she rates her back pain and she s at 0/10. She s come down from a 9/10 to a 0/10 by chasing the pain and tapping on it. Pain can be physical and emotional. Julia makes sure she taps on all the specific sources of pain to collapse her issue. Continue tapping in subsequent rounds on whatever still feels intense about your issue. Tapping usually takes multiple rounds and each round covers a few different piece of the puzzle. If you re still getting stuck while trying to clear your issue, you can download my guide to Peeling the Onion here: Yes, it s free like this one! fullyalive.ca 13

15 Recommended Tapping Practice I recommend that my clients tap as often as possible between sessions. This really does make the work progress so much faster. You will learn an enormous amount about what s been bothering you, which you can work on in session, while also being able to do something about it right away. Ideally, you would do a short minute practice in the morning, to help set an uplifting tone for the day. You can even try saying positive statements while you tap to help energize you during this practice. Today could be an amazing day and I m open to joyfully anticipating the good things coming my way. I choose to express my needs and desires today, knowing that I deserve to have good things come my way. I acknowledge that I m caring for myself, doing my inner work, and I know that it s going to pay off. I m willing to consider I don t have to know how everything s going to turn out. I can let go and know that I ll make the right choices when I need to. I choose to open my heart and be a little bit more real, more myself, and more vulnerable today. You should also tap if you have a strong negative experience your father calls you and you feel terrible after the conversation, a co-worker makes a critical comment and your mind is racing, anything like that. Pause and tap as soon as possible. Don t be afraid to close your office door, or even find a spot in the bathroom, or out in your car. Five minutes can bring you back to calmness and allow you to manage the situation in a resourceful and empowered way than if you let yourself stay emotionally flooded. J Questions? Give me a call or send me an jessica@fullyalive.ca. fullyalive.ca 14