An Introduction to Mindfulness

Transcription

1 An Introduction to Mindfulness

2 The intention behind mindfulness - To bring your awareness back to the present moment without judgment whenever we become aware of projecting our thoughts to the future or rehashing the past. - To experience life as it is, without resistance (including the experience of events, our beliefs, our feelings and releasing resistance to judging your thoughts and feelings). Let s practice awareness...

3 What causes us to suffer? Is it the events? Or is it how we view these events? The two contributing factors to human suffering are... Cravings Craving or pursuing pleasure = suffering if we don t get it. Aversions Avoiding pain = suffering if we do get it. However... Experiencing pleasure and pain (physical) in life is inevitable. The suffering (psychological), as a result of these experiences is optional.

4 The Objective: How to Practice Mindfulness To accept experiences as they are. To forgo craving and aversion. To remain in the present moment. Practiced in two ways: Passive practice Also known as sitting. This is the formal practice of mindfulness meditation. Practicing quiet internal observation of thoughts and bodily sensations, without reacting to them. Active practice Practicing mindfulness in everyday life. Staying aware of your actual experiences, in the present moment, as they are (without craving or aversions) ie without rating it as good or bad. Using the five senses to experience life.

5 Passive Practice of Mindfulness The benefits of passive practice: - Through these meditations and by observing themselves and the world around them, meditators realise that nothing is permanent. Everything rises and passes away, hence where the phrase comes from This too shall pass. - Passive practice of mindfulness gives you an experiential understanding of life s impermanence as you experience the rising and passing of sensations in the body. - Trains the brain to focus on the sensations in the body without craving or aversions, thus training the mind to focus on the present.

6 The steps to passive practice of mindfulness: 1. Spend a few moments relaxing and focussing on the breathe 2. Start focussing your attention on the small triangular area below the nostrils and above the upper lip. 3. Feel the air going in through the nose and out through the nose. Notice any other sensations you may feel in that area, without labelling them, or judging them. 4. Any time you notice your attention wander, just bring your attention back to this area and the sensations you feel without judgement. 5. Continue this exercise daily for a week or so before moving onto step Now that you have trained your brain to start focussing on a small section of the body, now begin what s called a body scan. - Begin at the top of the head and feel any sensations you may feel without judgement or labelling. - Continue to feel the sensations in the right side of the head, then the left side, then together. - Feel the face, the neck, your ears, your head, all at once, noticing any sensations at all that you may feel. - Continue allowing your awareness to travel down your whole body, one part at a time, then come back up the body again to the head, noticing any sensations you may feel without judgement. Any time you notice your attention wander, just bring your attention back to this area and the sensations you feel without judgement.

7 Active Practice of Mindfulness The benefits of active practice: - To become aware of how easily your attention wanders into the past or the future. - To train the brain to bring your attention back to right now. - To realise that all life s events rise and pass away. - To accept the reality of life s events without judgement. - To feel what it feels like to be experiencing, feeling and judging without craving or aversion.

8 The value of using Mindfulness and The reality based thinking model - Mindfulness brings your awareness back into the present moment (reality) without resistance. - We will always judge! But by being aware of our judgements (mindfulness) and where they come from (learnt beliefs), we can observe them without resistance and upgrade them where necessary using The Reality thinking wheel and the reality thinking lenses. - By being aware of the sensations in the body, you see emotions as indicators of your beliefs and thus detach from them meaning anything about your self-worth (I am weak, stupid, broken, have a malfunctioning brain etc) - You can t change what you don t acknowledge, so you need to accept reality before moving onto the upgrades and what you want to do about your reality now that you ve accepted it.

9 Instructions on Active practice of Mindfulness Start practicing on easy events that don t have any charge, like having a shower, doing the dishes, going for a walk etc. 1. Ask yourself, Where am I? The answer will always be here. How do I know that I m here? Because of what I see, hear, feel, smell or taste (the 5 senses). This is reality!! Bring your attention back to the five senses. 2. Every time your attention wanders, simply bring it back to what you are doing without judgement. 3. As you get better at practicing with the easy events, start practicing on the difficult events like the children fighting, whinging, tantrums etc. Practice going into observation mode, being aware (with the 5 senses) of what is occurring, even within your own body, and allowing these experiences to occur without judgement.

10 The Mind TRACK to Happiness process

11 The Mind TRACK to Happiness Process T R A C K houghts eality im hoices now your plan & action it

12 Step One: Thoughts What am I thinking? Recognise your feelings first, then put your attention on your thoughts. Identify how your thoughts are in conflict with reality (the reality of the situation and the reality of where you are at right now because of how life has unfolded in the past) Stressful Thinking - The conflict with reality Right vs Wrong Life There s a right way for life to go and a wrong way Missing Out I have missed out on what my life needs I/They Should have acted differently I am / someone else is to blame Me or my life is of less value (worth-less) Mine or my life s value has been compromised

13 Step Two: Reality The reality of Self-Worth The reality of LIFE The reality of THE BEING A PARENT What is the reality of the situation? What is the reality of being a parent? What is the reality of life? What is the reality of true self-worth? The reality of THE SITUATION Use the Reality Based thinking upgrades to accept the reality of what is happening right now and change your perception of it Use mindfulness to bring your attention back to the reality of the experience without judgement Thinking causing stress, depression & anxiety Reality Based Thinking - The upgrades Life is a story of ups and downs Every experience has value Priority beliefs dictate behaviour (in any given moment) My life is ALWAYS valuable

14 Step Three: Aim What do you want? This is where you start to get solution focussed about your present reality and start setting goals. Important notes on setting goals... The real purpose of goals is to set life in motion Setting goals creates experiences Experiences help us to learn and contribute to the unfolding of life You learn, grow & contribute on the way to the goal and whether you do or don t get the goal. While we always set goals to achieve them, the achievement of goals does not define your value! Setting and checking goals: What do you want right now? Be specific. Is my aim in conflict with reality? Why do you want it (what s the agenda, the self- worth component)?

15 Step Four: Choices What are my choices, options and solutions? This is where you start searching for HOW to get what you want. In the heat of the moment: What can I do to try and achieve what I want? What are the choices available to me right now? What are my priorities for choosing the best option right now? Reflection or conscious planning for the future: How do I get what I want? What resources are available to teach me the information I need? How are other people achieving what I want so I can learn from them? Who are the experts in this field that I can learn from? The choices step is about selfeducation seeking out new information so you are armed with the tools to change!

16 Step Five: Know your plan and action it This is where you start planning the steps you need to take to achieve your goal Using the information you found in step four: choices, formulate a plan to achieve your aim. If relevant, create mini-goals towards your achievement so you can monitor your progress Action your step-by-step plan and start working towards the life you want. Important: This 5-step TRACK process is not used for getting life RIGHT. It is a tool to assist you to change your thinking about life when it doesn t go to plan and when you find yourself sinking into stress, depression and anxiety.

17 Life after the BE the Change Webinar Series:

18 Your life is not fixed now that you ve done this course, because it was never broken. I learnt what worked I learnt what didn t work Getting experiences and learning on the way to the goal and moving away from the goal This is the reality of your life (and everyone s around you) Live, learn, grow, share, evolve This is the purpose of life

19 Saturate your mind with other resources to continue your learning There are many messengers teaching this school of thought: Recommended Movies: - Louise Hay You can heal your life - Wayne Dyer The Shift (or Ambition to Meaning) - The Peaceful Warrior (great mindfulness movie) Recommended Books: - Joe Dispenza: Breaking the Habit of being yourself - Wayne Dyer: What do you really want for your children? - Dan Millman: Way of the peaceful warrior - Jill Bolte Taylor Phd: My Stroke of Insight - Anita Moorjani: Dying to be Me

20 Repetition and consistency of this type of information is what creates new neural pathways in the brain The reality of Self-Worth The reality of LIFE The reality of THE BEING A PARENT The reality of THE SITUATION Thinking causing stress, depression & anxiety Thinking Reaction: A Mood (Hrs / days) Feeling Reaction: Temperament (weeks/ months) Reaction = Personality trait (years)

21 Thinking Thinking Feeling Feeling Continue to create habitual thinking and feeling loops This is who I AM a memorised state of being.

22 On going support through The Parental Stress Centre

23 How we can help you continue your journey of change One-on-one coaching Casual coaching sessions Weekly, fortnightly or monthly check ins More in depth application of the material More exercises on how to apply this material Someone who will work with you and motivate you to be accountable for the changes you wish to make The Stress Free Parenting Webinar series Self-paced learning Four x 1.5 hour weekly webinars Access to recordings forever Learn how to apply this reality based information to your child s behaviour. Set goals around the parent you want to be and discipline in alignment with those goals. Further tools to help you be the scream free, calmer parent you want to be

24 Join our Facebook community Daily quotes and tips Fortnightly speed coaching get your questions answered for free Keep up to date with new resources and books that become available Check out our website For blogs, articles and more recommended resources

25 Final thoughts. We are all perfect and valuable just the way we are and we all play a magical part in each other s development and the bigger picture of how life unfolds. When you know this...truly know this, then you will teach this to your child in the way you speak, the way you behave and the way you hold yourself... As you learn and apply this information to yourself, you will naturally pass this information onto your children and you will be able to break the vicious generational cycle of worth-less-ness. Applying the information you ve just learnt is exactly how you teach self-worth to your child... And at the same time you will BE the Change you wish to see your child (and your world)