Being a Coach of Impact Skye Eddy Bruce SoccerParenting.com
My story
a social mission to improve youth soccer culture.
What is your why?
Dear Coach: PLEASE don t forget the impact you have on my child s life.
YOUTH SOCCER TODAY Players are afraid to make mistakes Coaching is lonely Core mission & values are often forgotten by coaches and parents Participation is decreasing Parents are fearful and stressed Too much focus on winning Coaching culture in United States is disconnected There is an unbalance of power in the coach-parent relationship
CRAZY SOCCER PARENTS Irrational Live vicariously through their child Unrealistic expectations for their child Don t listen to or hear what you are saying THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THEM
What will happen when we stop using Crazy Soccer Parents as an excuse for not engaging parents?
Focus on the level headed and sometimes stressed parents to establish trust and create a culture that inspires our players.
What are parents stressed about? Playing time Their child s performance Injuries Perceived issues with the game Winning College placement The future of their child Unqualified or misguided coaches
ESTABLISH TRUST LISTEN FIRST EXTEND TRUST KEEP COMMITMENTS GET BETTER CLARIFY EXPECTATIONS CONFRONT REALITY DELIVER RESULTS SHOW LOYALTY TALK STRAIGHT DEMONSTRATE RESPECT RIGHT WRONGS
KNOW YOUR STUFF EFFICACY: The extent to which you believe in yourself. COACHING EFFICACY: The extent to which you believe you have the capacity to influence the learning and performance of your athletes. Coaching Efficacy consists of four dimensions:
DEFINE YOUR COACHING VALUES Think through and describe the following in detail: 1. What have been your three greatest accomplishments as a coach? 2. What are two or three ways you remember feeling competent and satisfied in your coaching actions? 3. Are there any common rules or themes you can identify?
DEFINE YOUR COACHING VALUES Think through and describe the following in detail: 1. What have been your three greatest failures as a coach? 2. What are two or three ways you remember feeling incompetent and dissatisfied in your coaching actions? 3. Are there any common rules or themes you can identify?
DEFINE YOUR COACHING VALUES Look at the common themes and give yourself a sentence of advice based on each one of them. Try to simplify that sentence into one word or small phrase.
LEAD WITH INTEGRITY Integrity is when you choose your thoughts and actions based on your values.
LEAD WITH INTEGRITY Continually remind yourself about your values Go on this journey with another coach Talk the talk with your players and parents Keep a positivity journal Change your screensaver Add a quote to your email signature
STUDY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.
Soccer IQ versus EQ There are NO KNOW CONNECTIONS between IQ and EQ 58%
WHY IS EQ IMPORTANT? Time management Stress tolerance Anger management Trust Empathy Presentation skills Decision making Tolerance for change Communication
Building Blocks to Emotional Intelligence SoccerParenting.com Team Management Self Awareness Self Management Social Awareness
SELF AWARENESS Your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations.
SELF AWARENESS CHECKLIST Quit treating feelings as good or bad Observe the ripple effect from your emotions See yourself as you really are Know who and what pushes your buttons Monitor yourself Coach to your CORE VALUES
SELF MANAGEMENT Your ability to use your awareness of your emotions and tendencies to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively.
SELF MANAGEMENT CHECKLIST Breathe Find an accountability partner/coach Sleep on it Set aside time for problem solving Focus on what you have control over Learn from everyone and everything Put a mental recharge into your schedule
SOCIAL AWARENESS Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them.
SOCIAL AWARENESS CHECKLIST Greet people by name Be aware of the culture that exists in youth soccer Watch body language Make timing everything Back pocket question Plan ahead for connections Be in conversations to listen and learn Observe player interactions
TEAM MANAGEMENT Your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of your players and parents to manage your team successfully.
TEAM MANAGEMENT CHECKLIST Enhance your natural communication style Be open & curious Avoid mixed signals Catch Them Being Good Only get mad on purpose Don t avoid the inevitable Build Trust Direct and constructive feedback Align your intention with your impact
BEING A COACH OF IMPACT 1. Engage Parents 2. Establish Trust 3. Know Your Stuff 4. Define Your Coaching Values 5. Lead with Integrity 6. Study Emotional Intelligence
At the end of the day
Skye Eddy Bruce Skye@SoccerParenting.com SoccerParenting.com MySoccerParenting.com (804) 467-7041 Slides: SoccerParenting.com/UTAH