The High Powered Fuel of Performance in Work and Life

The High Powered Fuel of Performance in Work and Life

Car Care Council Women s Board Notes 1

Notes "The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." --William James 2

Emotions are Contagious Extensive research into the human brain has revealed that we are literally wired to pick up subtle clues from one another and therefore, in a sense we are dependent on one another for our emotions. We gauge our emotional response on the feelings we notice in the people around us. We attend to each other constantly, attempting to predict one another s behavior so we can tailor our responses accordingly. Warm-Up Activity Find two people in the room who you would like to transmit positive emotions to and take 2-3 minutes each to do any of the following activities for each person: Tell them a quick, funny (clean!) story or joke. Share something that you are excited about and looking forward to personally or professionally. Praise them -- Tell them something that you admire them for or that you have seen them do really well lately. Share a positive, optimistic message about the direction of your business or career. Tell them something inspiring that someone has said to you recently. 3

The right emotion at the right time with the right person. Unlike IQ, which is largely genetic and changes little from childhood - the skills of emotional intelligence can be learned at any age. It is not easy --growing your emotional intelligence takes practice and commitment. Small Group Activity: In your own words, how do you define Emotional Intelligence? How is it different from IQ? Share an example of a person who you think displays great EI. 4

Notes 50% of time wasted in business is due to lack of trust. How employees feel about their leader and company can account for 20-30% of business performance. 7% of leadership success is attributable to intellect; 93% comes from trust, integrity, honesty, creativity, authenticity, presence and resilience. When people interact, the person with the widest range of flexibility in behavior will always have the greatest influence. In a study of 500 companies, across industries, EI was more important to job performance than any other skill and had more influence on job performance than IQ and experienced combined. You can't be a smart cookie if you have a crummy attitude. ~ John Maxwell 5

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Notes Waters Learning & Development, 2016 7

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Can be compared to an always-on-the-job security guard - continuously scans our environment for anything that might say risk. It doesn t think, it doesn t analyze - it just reacts, switching off our frontal lobes (forebrain), the highest intellectual function for thinking, planning and problem-solving and sends us into an amygdala hijacking! 9

An Amygdala Hijacking has these components: A trigger A strong emotion An instant reaction A subsequent feeling of regret Anyone can become angry that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way that is not easy. Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics 384-322 BC 10

Amygdala Hijacking Exercise Think of a situation when you had an amygdala attack. Share your experiences with your small group and choose one to share with the large group. Describe the situation: What was the trigger? How did you respond? How did others respond? What was the outcome? 11

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ECI research has found that if people lack Self-Awareness, their chances of having Self-Management and Social Awareness is greatly reduced. 13

Notes "It is not the brains that matter most, but that which guides them--the character, the heart, generous qualities, progressive ideas." ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky 14

Behavioral Examples of Self-Awareness: Honest with self and others; candid Self-deprecating sense of humor Self-confidence Understanding your values, goals and dreams; know where you re headed and why Attuned to what feels right to you A propensity for self-reflection and thoughtfulness Realization of one s own strengths and weaknesses 15

Behavioral Examples of Self-Management: Embodies an upbeat, optimistic, positive enthusiasm Stays in control of feelings and impulses so that an environment of trust, comfort and fairness is created Enables transparency, a sense of genuineness and integrity 16

Behavioral Examples of Social Awareness: Actively listens well to others Is able to read nonverbal cues to better understand the emotions of others Shows sensitivity and understands others needs and feelings Open to people different from oneself and cultivates opportunities as a result Drives resonance and expresses feelings with conviction and authenticity 17

Notes Avoid Hippopotamus Disease! Waters Learning & Development, 2016 18

Notes Waters Learning & Development, 2016 19

Behavioral Examples of Relationship Management: Acknowledges and rewards people s strengths Offers useful feedback and identifies needs for growth Inspires others and ensures others buy into their goals Skillfully handles people s emotions and wins them over Anticipates impact of actions/words and plans actions/words to help move people in the right direction Personally leads and builds momentum for change Orchestrates win-win solutions with a knack for finding a common ground and building rapport Encourages and empowers others helping them to feel strong and important 20

Important Points to Remember: The EI Appraisal is designed to help you pinpoint your current level of Emotional Intelligence. It is for development purposes only, and is not an indicator of your performance. Unlike IQ, Emotional Intelligence can be developed through practice and application activities. Emotional Intelligence is a flexible skill that can be readily learned. Assessments like this help increase your self-awareness, which is the foundational component of Emotional Intelligence. Waters Learning & Development, 2016 21

Notes Waters Learning & Development, 2016 22

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Plot your scores on the chart above. Turn to a partner and share your insights about what you have learned using the questions below to guide you: 1. Which scores confirmed what you already knew regarding your EI skills? 2. Which scores were a surprise for you? 3. What insights did you take away? Waters Learning & Development, 2016 24

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Self-Awareness Definition: Recognizing how our emotions affect our performance Observing yourself and recognizing a feeling as it happens Capacity for understanding one s emotions, strengths and weaknesses Definition in Your Own Words: Self-Awareness Behaviors/Competencies: Understands implications of own emotions and how own emotions affect situations Aware of triggers and identifies situations that arouse strong feelings Has a sense of humor about oneself; gracefully acknowledges own shortcomings Open to feedback; views feedback as constructive and is not defensive upon receiving it Has presence and is readily able to get the attention of others Real-Life Examples and Development Ideas: Describe when self-awareness is critical in your role, and share an example of when you or another person has successfully demonstrated these behaviors/competencies. When have you seen self-awareness demonstrated by leaders/peers/employees, and when have you seen the lack of self-awareness interfere with their performance? What were the outcomes? What are 2-3 strategies for developing self-awareness? 26

Self-Management Definition: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check Capacity for effectively managing one s motives and regulating one s behavior Keeping disruptive emotions from throwing us off track Definition in Your Own Words: Self-Management Behaviors/Competencies: Stays composed and positive; maintains composure and self-confidence in a tough or challenging situation Has patience and remains patient despite frustrations or provocations Openly admits to own mistakes Adapts and changes overall plans or goals to address changes in circumstances Identifies and prepares for obstacles which need addressing to achieve a goal Is resilient and able to bounce back from setbacks Real-Life Examples and Development Ideas: Describe where self-management is critical in your role, and share an example of when you or another has successfully demonstrated these behaviors/competencies. When have you seen self-management demonstrated effectively by peers/employees/leaders, and when have you seen the lack of selfmanagement interfere with his/her performance? What were the outcomes? What are 2-3 strategies for developing self-management? 27

Definition: Social Awareness Sensing other s feelings and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns Definition in Your Own Words: Social Awareness Behaviors/Competencies: Sees others perspectives and understands the underlying reasons for a person s behavior or responses Open to diversity; displays sensitivity to people different from oneself Is able to read body language and other nonverbal cues to better understand the emotion of others Actively listens to others Understands organizational politics; recognizes power and political relationships within the organization with a clear sense of organizational impact Real-Life Examples and Development Ideas: Describe where social awareness is critical in your role, and share an example of when you or another has successfully demonstrated these behaviors/competencies. When have you seen social awareness demonstrated effectively by peers/leaders/employees, and when have you seen the lack of social awareness interfere with his/her performance? What were the outcomes? What are 2-3 strategies for developing social awareness? 28

Definition: Relationship Management Capacity for acting in such a way that one is able to get desired results from others and reach potential goals Developing others Definition in Your Own Words: Relationship Management Behaviors/Competencies: Gives specific positive or constructive feedback for developmental purposes Recognizes strengths; identifies strengths of others Inspires others and takes action to ensure that others buy into their mission, goals or agenda Personally leads change; creates a momentum for change and sustains it Orchestrates win-win solutions; finds solutions that all parties in a conflict can endorse Encourages and empowers others, making them feel strong and important Real-Life Examples and Development Ideas: Describe where relationship management is critical in your role, and share an example of when you or another has successfully demonstrated these behaviors/competencies. When have you seen relationship management demonstrated effectively by peers/leaders/employees, and when have you seen the lack of relationship management interfere with his/her performance? What were the outcomes? What are 2-3 strategies for developing relationship management? 29

Notes "There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving... and that's your own self." Aldous Huxley 30

EI Action Planning Worksheet Actions Timeline Measure(s) of Success Potential Barriers Resources Needed What will you specifically do? 1. When will you start, check-in and monitor progress, and end? What will success look like? What could possibly get in your way? How will you handle that challenge? Who or what do you need to be successful? 2. 3. 31

Notes How Do I Change? If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labor. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel inferior I will wear new garments. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent I will think of past success. If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. Today I will be the master of my emotions. -Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World 32