Myra McPherson, LMHC, Ph.D. 5824 Bee Ridge Rd., #230 Sarasota, FL 34233 Office: 941-343-9745 www.parentexpress.org MyraSMcPherson@gmail.com
Love, Bliss, Joy, Empowerment, Freedom, Appreciation Passion, enthusiasm, happiness, knowing Positive expectation, ease, belief Hopefulness Boredom, anxious Frustration, irritation, impatience Being overwhelmed, confused Doubt, worry, blame, pessimism Anger, revenge, hate Jealousy, insecurity, guilt, unworthiness Fear, grief, depression, powerlessness, shame
1. We don t really believe we can have what we want in life (FAITH) 2. We don t believe in ourselves: Sense of worthiness or deserving.
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 1. Love is our core identity. *
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 1. Love is our core identity. * *How do you know you are loved? 70% of communication is through body language: T-E-T Touch + Eye contact + Time
Releases a growth hormone that helps body restore itself Stimulates immune function Helps normalize heart rate & blood pressure Relieves pain Stabilizes mood happy & peaceful
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 1. Love is our core identity. Humans love: Praise, appreciation, value NOT: punishment, inconsistency, criticism: which cause resistance (stress) in our bodies known as FEAR: 3 Primary FEARS
Abandonment vs trust Antidote: T-E-T= touch, eye contact, time
Rejection vs worthy Negatives names called Labels/roles
Punishment vs praise Criticize: (privately) begin with I.I feel, need, want, Praise: (in public) begin with YOU (3-1:no buts ) How a child is seen is how he tends to view himself
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 1. Love is our core identity. Dr. Phil: We live what we learned. We give what we got. We teach people how to treat us (family, coworkers).especially how we treat ourselves! We look outside ourselves to feel valued: (4 A s): acceptance, approval, appreciation, attention
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 2. Freedom is what we seek: Is getting stressed out a choice you re making? Your Internal GPS alerts you!
Researchers estimate that stress contributes to as many as 88% of all major illnesses including: cardiovascular disease cancer endocrine and metabolic disease skin disorders infectious ailments
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 2. Freedom is what we seek: You know you re stressed by the way you FEEL! Your Internal GPS alerts you! how far are you from feeling good? You always have free choice of how you feel about any situation! Who/What are you using as your excuse for not feeling happy NOW?* Your Brain
Fight, Flight, or Freeze response is activated by the Adrenal Gland Cortisol is released into the body Digestion slows or stops Fats and sugars are released Cholesterol levels rise Blood composition changes making it more prone to clotting Almost all body functions and organs react to stress Your Brain Activity
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 3. You Can t Change Anyone Except Yourself! But you can influence and inspire others how? from the clarity of your own example!
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 3. You Can t Change Anyone Except Yourself! How you view a problem, determines the solution: believe in their wholeness/goodness! Look for what you want to see, not what needs fixing: positive aspects in: parent, child, environment! FAMILY COUNSELING: What you give attention to in your relationships you will receive more of the same. Praise 3 1 (criticism)..especially last 30 min. of the day! Say the healing words: I m sorry. It wasn t your fault. I took it out on you, forgive me.
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 4. Show not tell someone what to do (especially if you want them to listen to you)! 25 words, 3 times
Hear a Lecture..5 % Read a Text 10% See a Demonstration.30% Actively Discuss 50% Practice Doing...75% Actively Teach Others 90%
THE WOBBLE Jump (step) forward & wobble=4 beats Jump back & wobble=4 beats Turn to the right, circle arms=4 beats Turn to the left, circle arms=4 beats Right foot forward cha-cha=4 beats Left foot forward cha-cha=4 beats Baby steps to the left (1/4 turn)=8 beats Repeat
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 5. Appreciation: fertilizer for any relationship & a stress reliever.
Sending appreciation to yourself, as well as others, is regenerative and good for your entire system--mentally, emotionally and physically. Heartmath, LLC
Love, Joy, knowing, empowerment, freedom,, appreciation Passion, enthusiasm, happiness Positive expectation, optimism, belief Hopefulness, relief Boredom Pessimism Frustration, irritation, impatience Being overwhelmed, confused Doubt, worry, blame Anger, revenge, hate Jealousy, insecurity, guilt, unworthiness Fear, grief, depression, powerlessness, shame
5 Common Needs, Desires &Human Traits: how we are more alike than different! 5. Appreciation: fertilizer for any relationship & a stress reliever 3 specific things you appreciate about: someone important in your life Your job Someone/something bad that s happened in the past YOURSELF You have been given 86,400 seconds of time today..how many seconds have you spent being thankful????
1) A.M. - Before rising, count 10 blessings in your life. 2) Emotionally prepare before each segment of your day. 3) Use purposeful breathing throughout the day. 4) Look for ways to have fun. 5) P.M. - Reflect! What was the best part of your day? 1) Truly feel gratitude for each of your 10 blessings. 2) State how you intend to feel BEFORE each part of the day. 3) Breathe deeply in to the count of 3 and slowly out to the count of 5 to conserve energy and refocus. 4) At least once a day, do something silly or fun. Laugh! 5) Just before sleeping, reflect on the best part of the day. Then fall asleep counting your blessings.
1. A.M. - Before rising, count 10 blessings in your life. Truly feel gratitude for each of your 10 blessings. 2. Emotionally prepare before each segment of your day. State how you intend to feel BEFORE each part of the day. What are the general segments of your day? 3. Use purposeful breathing throughout the day. Breathe deeply in to the count of 3 and slowly out to the count of 5 to conserve energy and refocus. What are some apps you could use? Mother Nature, too! 4. Look for ways to have fun. At least once a day, do something silly or fun. Laugh! Cam Wow app, comedy on Pandora, or? 5. P.M. - Reflect! What was the best part of your day? Just before sleeping, reflect on the best part of the day. Then fall asleep counting your blessings--- especially for the LOVE in your life. video