NOTE FOR THE CHAIRPERSON: Please ask people to read the following handouts as indicated in the format: The Preamble What is Sex and Love Addiction (optional) The SLAA Blessings from Addiction and Recovery Brochure (optional) Prayer for a Sex and Love Addict OPENING: [Normally the Chair will be expected to turn on the lights, pull out the box, and make sure that chips, basket and other materials are ready. Usually the Chair will start hot water.] [The Chair should start as close to 7:30 PM as possible.] My name is, and I am a Sex and Love Addict. I'd like to welcome you to the Monday night meeting of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. This is a CLOSED NON SMOKING meeting and only those who identify themselves as Sex and Love Addicts or those who think that they may have this problem are welcome After a moment of silence, will all those who care to, join me in the Serenity Prayer: THE SERENITY PRAYER GOD, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. THE PREAMBLE Read, or ask someone to read the PREAMBLE. There is a copy of the preamble in this notebook or refer to the SLAA Big Book page 125. [This is a service position without a sobriety or attendance requirement.] WHAT IS SEX AND LOVE ADDICTION Read or ask someone to read WHAT IS SEX AND LOVE ADDICTION. There is a copy in this notebook. [This is a service position without a sobriety or attendance requirement.]
WELCOME NEWCOMERS If there are any newcomers here tonight, Welcome. We recommend that you attend at last six SLAA meetings before deciding whether the program of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous if for you, or not. You will note that we introduce ourselves each time we speak, by our first names only, reaffirming our status as Sex and Love Addicts. Optional Guidelines for Newcomers [insert] [Optional if Chairperson has reason: If you are a member of the press, a family member or a professional therapist who is attending this meeting, we ask that you leave now unless you are here for your own benefit as a participating member of this meeting of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.] LITERATURE There is free literature available including pamphlets. If you borrow copies of The Journal, please return them to that others may read them. We get a copy of the Journal here but it is available to you to buy (we encourage) a subscription. INTRODUCTIONS: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our fellowship, so let's go around the room introducing ourselves by our first names only. My name is, and I am a Sex and Love Addict. (Go around the room.) DISCUSSION In sharing during SLAA meetings we do not cross talk nor give feedback. This means that we do not interrupt one another nor engage in discussion and we do not judge or comment on what people say nor tell them what to do. Tonight's meeting is a SPEAKER MEETING. A speaker meeting has a single person (or many) rise to tell his or her story of addiction and recovery with special emphasis on those things which encouraged recovery. At speaker meetings there is NO DISCUSSION, no crosstalk and no feedback. At about 8:15 we will take a 5 10 minute break. When we get back we will spend time GETTING CURRENT, that is, discussing what is either threatening our sobriety or supporting our recovery today. The SPEAKER tonight is : [The speaker is warned to keep within the time period and can ask for timing marks 15 minutes or whatever makes him/her comfortable.] BREAK Lets take a break for a few minutes and then come back to get current. There is hot water for tea
or hot chocolate on the counter. [Depending on what is available and has been set up] ANNOUNCEMENTS Are there any SLAA related announcements? Is there a report from the Intergroup Representative (GR) or Alternate Representative (AR)? [These are service positions which should be given to someone with at least 3 months of attendance, some sobriety from bottom line, and with some experience in service within our group. The Chair may optionally explain about these service positions.] [ANNOUNCE: (Every other month) Tonight after the regular meeting there will be a business meeting to select a new chair, to disburse our funds and to make decisions about our group. We recommend that everyone stay. It is YOUR group.] ANNIVERSARIES [Chair should have chips out and prepared. The chair may appoint someone to hand out he chips. As each person comes forward to pick up his or her chip, he/she should be applauded and congratulated. It is not the custom of this group to ask for the return of chips. This is a service position and should be given to someone with at least 6 weeks of attendance and some sobriety from bottom line.] [Read by the chairperson] BOTTOM LINE BEHAVIOR is any sexual or emotion act which one engaged in, leads to loss of control over rate, frequency or duration of its recurrence, resulting in worsening selfdestructive consequences. Each person defines his/her own bottom line behavior. Staying away from these behaviors defines your sobriety. [Read by the chip giver:] My name is. I am a sex and love addict. This is the time when we acknowledge any anniversaries. Does anyone have 24 hours 1 week 1 month 2 months 3 months 6 months 9 months 1 or more years Is anyone celebrating ANY SLAA anniversary? Keep coming back it works if you work it.
GETTING CURRENT SLAA MONDAY NIGHT SPEAKER This is the portion of our meeting reserved for getting current; or, you may choose to continue talking about the topic. GETTTING CURRENT means that each person has the opportunity to share what is currently happening in his or her life. Particular emphasis is placed on sharing the stimulating or intriguing sexual and emotional situations which appear to pose major threats, here and now, to maintaining sobriety in SLAA. [IF THE GROUP IS LARGE... As the group is large this evening please be mindful as you share that everyone else needs to share also. Share what you need to share but if possible, keep your comments to 3 4 minutes. Is there someone who will volunteer to be a TIME KEEPER. [This is a service position and should be given to someone with at least 6 weeks of attendance and some sobriety from bottom line.] The TIME KEEPER will raise his/her finger when time is up. It is up to the speaker to recognize that she or he need to stop. [Getting current should last until just before 9PM. Although there is no hard and fast rule, generally meetings should start and end on appointed times. It is a boundary and a signal to those who attend.] BUSINESS MEETING NIGHTS [On nights when there is to be a business meeting insert the following:] After GETTING CURRENT there will be a BUSINESS MEETING. Business meetings are held to pick a new chair, distribute the 7 th tradition funds and to make decisions about what we as a group want and how we want to do things. We ask if possible that you stay for the meetings to learn about service and to contribute to YOUR group process.
7 th TRADITION CLOSING [The Chair may chose to read one of the handouts in this notebook or have someone read.] Take out the basket and place it on the floor. SLAA is free to all who need it. We have no dues nor fees but we do have the 7 th tradition: Every SLAA group ought to be fully self supporting declining outside contributions. The monies are used for literature, refreshments and to support the CT Intergroup and Fellowship Wide Services in reaching out to those still suffering from Sex and Love Addiction. Please, be mindful that as you contribute that as you supported your addiction you may wish to support your sobriety and recovery. In closing, we would like to remind you that the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. Also, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our program; If we are to recover we must feel free to say what is in our minds and on our hearts. Therefore, who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here. (Here, here). Fellowship is available after the meeting. Please be mindful that not only are meetings important, but he supportive gatherings of others for the purpose of sober public behavior helps us return to sanity and sobriety. [Form a circle. Move 7 th Tradition basket out of the circle.] Will all those who care to, join me in the Serenity Prayer. Due to the nature of our addictions, hand holding is optional, but ever reminds us that we are not alone. Lets take a moment of silence to remember those still suffering here and outside these rooms: God. Grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage, to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. [Chair locks monies in the safe under the sink. ]