PERSONAL AND MANAGERIAL COUNSELLING

PERSONAL AND MANAGERIAL COUNSELLING

What is Counseling? Human relationship in which one has the intent of promoting growth, development, maturity, improved functioning and improved ability to cope with the life (demands) of the other. Helping the counslee to develop the ability to utilize the latent inner resources for better functional use. An Encounter - I - THOU Relationship - taking place in the private world of the other. It is therefore, entering the LIFE SPACE of the other.

Processes & Principles of Counselling processes Entering the Life Space - cannot be forced; Recognising the Privileged relationship not advising as though something wrong with the person Exploring the Life Space - helping to focus on the problems, helping to think through the problems principles Establishing Rapport - important to create a climate of trust, competency, non threatening, helpful Respecting the Individuality - Non-judgemental in nature e.g.- visitor critical about the arrangement in the house. Asking Right Questions in the right way - important to remember verbal and nonverbal cues.

Processes & Principles of Counselling processes Enabling (Handling emotions) - feelings such as anger, tears, suspicion sad, mad, frustrations, loneliness etc. principles Creating Permissive Climate - such feelings are highly subjective, the pent-up feelings Identifying solutions to fit the Life Space - life space is unique and the solutions found also must be unique. Enacting (Helping to differentiate reality from fantasy) - make the counsellee to challenge the fantasy. Exiting (Progressive Withdrawal) - helping the counsellee to move from being dependent to independent to interdependent stage. Helping the Counsellee to develop congruency between the life space and solutions - helping to develop ownership and commitment. Helping to confront the reality - the counsellee fails to face the reality by indulging in Irrationality Developing autonomy, freedom and empowerment -

BASIC COUNSELLING SKILLS Rapport Building, Listening, Empathy, Warmth etc.

PROCESSES & SKILLS - SUMMARY RAPPORT BUILDING ATTENDING LISTENING TO FEELINGS, It s More how of communication than what of it The way CONCERNS, PROBLEMS expressed ACCEPTING

Establish Rapport The tone set in the first meeting can determine whether the relationship will be fruitful or fraught with fear and anxiety. Rapport building expedites shield lowering; Four components of Rapport Levelling communications, Gifting gestures, Receptivity for feelings & Reflective responses [1] Bell, Chip R. 2002. pp. 35f.

Rapport Building I. Levelling Communication Involves openness & positive regard. The counsellor transmitting signals of welcome. An open posture ii. Gifting Gestures Actions speak louder than words ; many ways to signal benign intent; Find one that suits you and works for you.

Rapport Building iii. Receptivity TO Feelings DISCRIMINATION OF FEELING When people believe they are heard and understood, they feel secure and comfortable. iv. Reflective/Mirroring Responses The sooner you speak your feelings, the faster the counsellee will match you.

Fourth Session Attitudes : Empathy, Self Disclosure Training in these Attitudes

Sequence Empathy Self disclosure Awareness of spiritual dimension of person Forgiveness How trainees can form these attitudes Understanding their feelings Listening

Empathy Empathy is defined as ability to accurately understand what another person is experiencing and communicate that understanding to her Also defined as the counselor's ability to tune in on the counselee's wave-length

Empathy Vs Sympathy Sympathy means to feel with another,to share another s feelings Sympathy alone cannot initiate action in the counselee Sympathy is agreement with another's feelings, while empathy is an intellectual identification with a person s feelings,thoughts and attitudes

Empathy : Importance Counselor must be able to understand the counselee's feelings label them correctly and understand also the reasons for these feelings or the meaning they have for the counselee

Empathy ingredients Empathy essentially includes two ingredients Correct understanding of the counselee's feelings and meaning Ability to communicate this understanding to the counselee

Self disclosure A Counsellor who is authentic, understanding & respectful, adds much to his approachability by disclosing something about himself Must be used with discretion & with an accurate sense of timing & (if helpful only) appropriateness.

Self disclosure When we confide in a person we like to know more about that person intimately A counselor adds much to his approachability when he discloses something personal about himself Then the counselee feels that the counselor is human like herself and feels inclined to disclose about herself

Awareness of spiritual dimension of the person Sigmund Freud saw religion as a obsessional neurosis Psychiatrist students at Harvard university learn on spirituality - to help patients Roll may in his book says that religion gives a sense of purpose to the person

Listening Listening is receiving what someone wishes to convey and saying it back to the person exactly as it was meant Listening invites the counselor to go deeper into what she wants to say The skill of listening is the counselors ability to hear well and recall accurately all the verbal data presented by the counselee Hearing alone is not listening Hearing does not make communication,listening does

Listening : two levels Listening must take place at two levels The level of word or content What is she saying The level of feeling How is she feeling when saying theses things We must listen not only to counselee voice but also to her heart We are constantly speaking the language of feelings.our lips,eyes,hands,legs,posture manifest our feelings Counselee is speaking the language of relationship,if you do not listen for feeling,you do not fully understand that person

The counselees important themes will be repeated over and over and with utmost intensity. The themes will tell the counselor what the counselor is trying to say about herself in relation to her world The skill steps of listening Resist distractions Recall the counselees tone of voice the specific feeling words she uses,glad,sad et.c the way she expresses herself,whether positive or negative or indifferent

COUNSELLOR S ROLES Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 22

Historically Some individuals on account of the acquired credibility in solving problems were ascribed the status as helpers, guide, Counsellors. No special training Tribal wise men, medicine men, priests developed special skills as helpers in personal relationship Even today we have the tendency to go to people whom we trust would help us deal with our problems. On account of the expectations people have, the counsellors tend to play various roles like the following: Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 23

Roles of Counsellor CAREER GUIDE PROBLEM SOLVER Intra & Interpersonal Problems & Conflicts; EXPERT ADVISOR - s (Lawyer, Income tax) INFORMATION (BPOs); PROVIDER Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 24

Roles of Counsellor MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR, DOCTOR/ DIAGNOSTICIAN, Prescribing means to cope with life s problems. SUPPORT PROVIDER - Providing emotional support EDUCATOR - Facilitating client learning, that is, teaching clients how to resolve similar problems in the future) Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 25

TO PLAY THE ROLE EFFECTIVELY IMPORTANT TO ANALYSE ONESELF a. PERSONALITY CHARACTERISITCS - BIG 5; SPIRO; MBTI; b. ASCERTAIN whether one is: Helpful? - one who can stimulate personal growth in others Unhelpful? - person who discourages others from using their own resources & thus inhibits personal growth b. UNDERSTAND the demands of various roles Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 26

PERSONAL COMPETENCE & SKILLS Personal competence means - a series of skills which an individual either possesses or develops for enhancing counselling processes. Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 27

In summary the skills of the counsellor must be in keeping with the counselling process viz., Attending Skills social skills; attending physically, observing, listening; (Attitudes Respect, Genuineness, Empathy) Responding skills responding to content, feelings, responding with questions; making appropriate summaries of dominant feelings & getting it confirmed (Attitudes Respect, Genuineness, Empathy, Concreteness, & self Disclosure) Personalizing skills personalizing the problem & the goal (Second stage & Attitudes Respect, Genuineness, Empathy, Concreteness, & self Disclosure) Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 28

Initiating Skills state the goal clearly & identify steps to reach the goal & the first step towards it. (Third stage & Attitudes Respect, Genuineness, Empathy, Concreteness, & self Disclosure) Evaluating skills getting to know the programme the counsellee has made with her plans and how it can be sustained. (Final stage & Attitudes Respect, Genuineness, Empathy, Concreteness, & self Disclosure) Prof. I.S.F. Irudayaraj 29