Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction How To Meet Women Anytime, Anywhere (10-Part Seduction Mastery Series) Part 2: Avoid the Confidence Trap www.seduction.com This transcript may not be duplicated without written permission from the author.
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Hi, guys. It s Ross Jeffries. Welcome to the Beyond Dating Tips/Advice for Men Mastery Series about how to meet women any time and anywhere. This is Video 2 out of 10. In this video, we re going to discuss Avoiding the Confidence Trap: How to Get the Right Kind of Confidence for Meeting Women. Here s a gold-key rule for success with women. Aim at the right kind of confidence. Here s the trap. Most guys are stuck trying to get what I call performance confidence before they do any performing. What do I mean by performance confidence? Performance confidence simply says that you ve done something right and gotten the results you ve wanted 1,000 times, so for 1,001, it s likely that you re going to do really well. When Tiger Woods steps up to the green to take that shot, he has a lot of successful experiences, so he can rightly assume, guess and count on the fact that he s going to do well. That just makes sense. Here s the trap. If you insist to yourself and the world that you have a guarantee that you re going to perform really well before you ve done a lot of practice, you re insisting on something that s impossible. What happens is you wind up never doing any practice or having any certainty. That s the trap of aiming at the wrong kind of confidence. There are two other forms of confidence that are a lot more useful. There s rehearsal confidence and acceptance confidence. Let s talk about each one of those in a little more detail. Here s the idea behind rehearsal confidence. If you want a good result, rehearse it. The brain does what it s used to and what s familiar. Why not give your brain vivid representations with a lot of repetition of the way you d like to sound, look, think, respond and act? 1
The key here is to vividly rehearse this. It s perfectly fine to visualize in your mind. I want you to visualize success. When it comes time to actually rehearsing the behaviors, I want you to rehearse them by actually making the physical movements. If you re going to rehearse walking up and talking to women, actually get up and walk around. Rehearse out loud how you re going to sound. Rehearse the pace at which you re going to speak. Rehearse it vividly with enough repetition and your brain will say, Here I am in this situation. This is what he wants me to do. I m going to do it. Key 1 to powerfully effective rehearsal confidence is to do it in an altered state. I don t mean smoke up or get drunk. I mean go into a light state of trance. Just relax and close your eyes. You can count backward from 10. Take a few deep breaths. Why do I recommend creating a mild altered state to do this? In your normal state of consciousness, all your habitual ways of thinking, feeling and acting are there. They re going to get in the way of the new programming, so you have to rehearse in an altered state. Key 2 is that you have to do it vividly. That means not just seeing it in your mind, which is fine, but you also want to get up and move. Add the movements, sounds, pacing and facial expressions, just like an actor would. An actor is not just going to rehearse lines in his head. Key 3 is a key no one knows about but me. Rehearse from different perspectives. Everyone tells you to visualize success. I agree with that. Visualize yourself being successful with women. If you want to really spice it up, visualize your success from the woman s perspective. You re saying, Ross, what the heck do you mean by that? That sounds crazy. Here s what I mean. Imagine that you re going up to talk to a woman. Now imagine that you re inside the woman. There s an old movie called Eyes of Laura Mars. I suggest you rent it. It will give you an idea of what I mean by this. 2
Imagine you re inside the woman looking out through her eyes at you. Then hear what she would say to herself in her head. Maybe she says, That guy looks really interesting. I hope he talks to me, or I don t know what it is, but there s something really fascinating about that guy. I have to talk to him. Rehearse success from the perspective of women you want to attract. This is a very subtle point. Rehearse it from different perspectives. If you re already too much in your head, rehearsal confidence may be a trap. I ve been doing this for about 20 years, and I ve worked with thousands of men. About 20% of them are so much in their head and afraid of making a mistake that rehearsal confidence will be a trap for them. All it will do is increase their need for certainty and play into their need to be absolutely certain before taking a step. They ll feel really confident until they get out into the field. Then they ll still find themselves hesitating. I don t know if that s the case with you because I can t talk to you through this one-way phone. Thirty percent of the time, rehearsal confidence is not the thing for guys to do. What should guys aim at? They should aim at acceptance confidence. What is acceptance confidence? First of all, it s about a learning frame. Second, it s about experiencing the raw sensations and feelings of nervousness, anxiety and fear without trying to stop them. When you resist and push back against feelings, they just grow stronger. On the other hand, you don t buy in to any of the message. You don t buy in to any of your story about why you re feeling those nervous feelings. Stick to the facts. No story. Here are the facts. You want to meet the women. You don t know it will happen. You don t like that you don t know what will happen. Those are the facts. There s no story there. You re not making imagery in your mind of being rejected. You re not saying that all women are bitches. Then you make a decision. Let s go see what happens. 3
This is a subtle point, but if you get this point, so much will clear up for you. Feeling nervousness and anxiety tells you nothing about how that woman is going to respond or whether she likes you or doesn t like you. All it tells you is that there s something going on inside of you that s creating nervousness. There s no information, content or value about the outside world in your feelings of anxiety. This is an information issue. There s usually no information in those feelings of anxiety about the outside world. All it is telling you is that there s some kind of conflict going on inside you. That s it. Here s what I mean by story. A story is saying, She ll probably reject me. Women are bitches. All beautiful women are stupid. She probably has a boyfriend. It s those images you make in your mind and all the things you tell yourself to stop yourself from moving forward. With acceptance confidence, we just junk all the stories. Story is bullshit. Here are two beliefs to help you with acceptance confidence. The first belief is I can and will decide what I learn from each and every situation, interaction, decision and behavior with women. Here again you re taking on a learning orientation and an internal locus of control. You are the one in control. The second belief is I ll get what I want, or I ll enjoy learning what I need to get what I want. Think a minute. If you took on these beliefs and they were really your attitude, you couldn t be afraid because you can t lose. You ll either win by getting the woman, or you ll learn what you need to get that woman or even better. 4