COACHING MODULE 8 WHAT IF S WHAT WE WILL COVER IN THIS SECTION How to handle your client not making progress How to instill hope How to increase motivation How to get clients to buy in How to use conscious expansion to get to the root cause How to coach different types of clients How to handle your own issues How to respond to client complaints Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 1
YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS May happen if clients don t see a readily available solution Also when clients aren t feeling motivated or inspired to change Can be a symptom of lack of commitment But more often is simply a behavioral manifestation of feeling discouraged and helpless The target changes might be more in line with your expectations than what the client desires YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS Solution Focused Coaching Focuses only on solutions, not their causes Looks at the future, not the past Focuses on what s going well rather than what s not Miracle question: Suppose a miracle happens and your problem is solved, what would you do? Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 2
YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS Solutions focused coaching can help a client who isn t progressing Being confronted with failure is discouraging Look for the client s resources Search for solutions rather than focusing on what s wrong YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS Example: A client who is having issues staying healthy Approaches: Ask about times in the past when they were successful at this goal Explore ways they ve already been able to achieve this in the past This is reactivating a previous successful strategy already in their comfort zone YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS Choose goals that are realistic for the client Have an open mind about what can make a client successful Both client and coach will be frustrated if the client can t modify their behaviors to reach the goals Focus on making realistic and sustainable lifestyle changes Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 3
YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS Make incremental changes Reduces resistance and overwhelm Example: Client always feels overcommitted and wants to spend more time with her family You suggest saying no to all new commitments This may be too much change for the client too quickly Need to start with baby steps like including her family in her commitments or scheduling family time YOUR CLIENT ISN T MAKING PROGRESS Accept that your clients won t always achieve their goals It s not your job to make results happen for your clients You cannot make someone change It s not your responsibility to solve all your client s problems It is your responsibility to give them the tools to change these things on their own HOW TO INSTILL HOPE Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 4
HOW TO INSTILL HOPE Holding space for the client s goals and dreams Expectancy and hope are powerful catalysts for change Be proactive Establish credibility and hope at the start of a coaching session Help them see a vision of their life after they ve made these changes Give them examples of other client successes in making similar changes so they can see it s possible HOW TO INSTILL HOPE Crisis and calamity can be difficult Also provide an opportunity to grow and learn Viewing each challenge with positive expectation and hope Encourages us to see through the difficulty, to the opportunity on the other side HOW TO INSTILL HOPE People need to know you care before they care what you know. Active listening Take the time to understand and empathize before you respond Do not respond quickly or go directly to advice giving Do not react with criticism and disapproval Hope comes from listening and care Expressing compassion, love, and acceptance builds trust Each loving and compassionate action, word, and attitude becomes a seed of hope for the client Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 5
HOW TO INCREASE MOTIVATION HOW TO INCREASE MOTIVATION Habit is more powerful than motivation Motivation cannot be given or forced Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation Values are motivating HABIT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN MOTIVATION Motivation is difficult due to life s stressors Habit is more powerful Create constructive habits To develop new habits, repetition is necessary Takes 3 months to cement new habits Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 6
HOW TO INCREASE MOTIVATION Reconsider your goals Is the goal big/small enough? What s the real goal? Example: Wants to lose weight Real goal is to be prettier Beauty comes from a healthful appearance Nothing is more attractive than someone who is healthy and happy The weight might not even matter MOTIVATION CANNOT BE GIVEN OR FORCED Must be internally mobilized Personal responsibility Without personal responsibility clients won t feel responsible for reaching their goals We cannot change people, they must do the work to change You can lead a horse to water but you can t make them drink A true mentor, guide, or guru only opens the door it s the client s choice whether they walk through it INTRINSIC VS EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION Intrinsic motivation Motivation that comes from within Doing an activity for the pleasure and satisfaction that comes with doing the behavior Extrinsic motivation Motivation that is external, comes from the environment, rewards, or other people Research in coloring in kindergarten Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 7
INTRINSIC VS EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION Coaches can affect intrinsic motivation Lead by example They ll trust you more if you re intrinsically motivated And also if your directions to them are in line with your own behaviors Place an expectation on the client for self-initiation, independent problem solving, and decision making You re continually investing in the client s faith in their own abilities INTRINSIC VS EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION Positive perception of the experience of coaching When coaching seems like a drag, completing any of the needed behavioral changes seems like a bigger drag Repeated success creates feelings of self-worth and accomplishment Creates a positive feedback loop INTRINSIC VS EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION Provide more praise, feedback, and information during client wins The client will learn from each win and then use that knowledge to win the next time This increases feelings of competence, which increases feelings of motivation Help the client see the helpful things they re already doing in their life and point out wins with significance Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 8
A FEW LAST TIPS ON MOTIVATION Reach for accomplishments, instead of reaching for end goals Notice small wins Use micro goals Celebrate enthusiastically HOW TO GET CLIENTS TO BUY IN HOW TO GET CLIENTS TO BUY IN Can t force people to change Difference between buying in and motivation Help clients see their pain points Hold a vision for their future Discuss other alternatives if they don t make this change Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 9
6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UP ON THEIR GOALS 1. Ownership 2. Time 3. Difficulty 4. Distractions 5. Rewards 6. Maintenance 6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UP ON THEIR GOALS 1. Ownership Not buying in Not owning their goals in coaching 6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UP ON THEIR GOALS 2. Time Underestimate how long it will take to reach their goals Natural tendency to not plan for obstacles and setbacks Optimism-bias of goal setting Everything seems to be taking longer than it should. Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 10
6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UP ON THEIR GOALS 3. Difficulty Reaching their goal was harder than they anticipated Not invested in change 6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UP ON THEIR GOALS 4. Distractions Things are too crazy right now. People underestimate distractions 6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UP ON THEIR GOALS 5. Rewards Not seeing any rewards for their work Why do my relationships feel harder after doing all of this coaching? Not realizing that self-growth often causes people to outgrow relationships Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 11
6 COMMON REASONS PEOPLE GIVE UP ON THEIR GOALS 6. Maintenance What am I supposed to do, keep working on this forever? Letting go of their coach after they ve experienced some gains Not continuing to see the need for support and good habits in place HOW TO USE CONSCIOUS EXPANSION TO GET TO THE ROOT CAUSE HOW TO USE CONSCIOUS EXPANSION Getting to the root cause of the client s problems Ask probing questions Delve beneath the surface Understand that the problem is rarely the problem Socratic Questioning Do not provide answers, ask questions Lead them to their own answers Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 12
EXPLORE DEEPER Go deeper than just surface questions Go back and connect different pieces of the clients past Discuss feelings and emotions Connect the emotional thread between the experiences, questions, and answers CONSCIOUS EXPANSION TIPS Always use your intuition on when to go deeper You will get better with experience Listen, listen, listen It s also ok to stop the client for clarification Avoid questions that imply an answer Example: So, it sounds like you were pretty angry? The clients world is unique and deserves to be honored QUESTIONS TO USE Can you tell me more about that? What do you make of that? Tell me another time in your life when you felt the same way. That sounds really difficult. How did you get through that? What was the defining moment of that event for you? What meaning do you take from that? What do you think was the most important piece of your experience? Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 13
QUESTIONS TO USE Tell me what you see. Tell me more about that. How do you feel about that? What do you see as a challenge with this? For example? How else could you handle this? What is just one more possibility? QUESTIONS TO USE What support do you need to make this happen? What will you take away from this? If the same thing happened again, what would you do? In the bigger scheme of things, how important is this? What are some possible solutions? What will you do and by when? What does that mean to you? What is stopping you? HOW TO COACH DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLIENTS Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 14
DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLIENTS 3 Types Of Clients 1. Struggles to follow your directions 2. Follows your directions and doesn t get the results they want 3. Follows your directions and does get the results they want DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLIENTS 1. Struggles to follow your directions Low compliance Struggles to take action Has difficulty implementing your directions 60% of clients Goal: Increase their compliance Strategy: Make is SUPER simple DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLIENTS 2. Follows your directions and doesn t get the results they want High compliance, low results Doesn t get expected results despite they re following your direction Help them comply to your directions just a bit more and really individualize their program and ensure they understand everything 20% of clients Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 15
DIFFERENT TYPES OF CLIENTS 3. Follows your directions and does get the results they want High compliance, high results 20% of clients Prevent burnout and build habits for maintenance HOW TO HANDLE YOUR OWN ISSUES INNER CRITIC WORK Self-doubt and self-critique Keeps you stuck and static in your coaching business Most important factor is caring about your clients Imposter Syndrome We all have to start from somewhere Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 16
HOW TO REDUCE THE INTERNAL NOISE Become still Meditate Mindfulness Visualization Clear the energy CONFRONT YOUR ISSUES Need to become self aware Don t let personal feelings affect the quality of your coaching Your issues will affect your coaching unless they are addressed and brought to the surface TRUST Trust in yourself Trust that you have the knowledge Trust that you can help people Trust that you can handle whatever arises Trust in the universe Trust that things will turn out as they re meant to Trust that you are exactly where you re meant to be Trust that the universe or god has your back Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 17
HOW TO RESPOND TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: The coaching isn t worth the money Discuss value and what this means to them Coaching isn t about what happens in the session, it s about the changes that happen outside the session Personal responsibility We cannot change anyone, we can only provide tools for them to use to change themselves Clients are ultimately responsible for their own transformation RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: What you re saying isn t resonating with the them This is a GREAT complaint to have Congratulate them for sticking up for themselves Ask them if they have a better idea of what resonates Check in with your own intuition Is the client in denial about an issue they re having and being resistant? Or is your guidance perhaps just not on point? Change it up depending on what your gut says Rephrase Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 18
RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: You always agree with them It s time to check in with yourself and whether this is indeed a habit You re not helping anyone by blindly agreeing with everything they say Often a symptom of people pleasing People do not seek out coaching in order to be placated There is a difference between people pleasing and congratulating Make sure your client understands the necessity to celebrate the awesome work they re doing and reaffirming their choices Perfectionism of the client RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: You always contradict them Explain the nature of coaching Coaching is not a friendship or a place to get placated Growth happens just outside their comfort zone Explore any defensiveness Check in with yourself, is there a better way you can phrase things? Example: You know that your ex is abusive, why would you talk to him? verses So you talked to your ex, how did that go? How did you feel? Do you think that was a decision that served your highest good? RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: You aren t always available to them Be sure that you have your availability outlined in the contract Explain that you have multiple clients that need help and support Discuss that you are invested in their growth Also, that they need to be independent and able, for example Learn how to cook rather than just watching cooking shows or calling a friend who cooks all the time Take the ball and run with it Learn to fish rather than being handed a fish Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 19
RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: They re progress isn t as fast as X, Y, Z Discuss comparison and whether this is an issue in their life Discuss expectations and how destructive they can be Discuss the difference between expectation and holding one s highest vision for oneself in the mind s eye Discuss shoulds and how they must cultivate self-compassion and acceptance to grow from a place of compassion and care RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: They want a refund Be sure you have a very clear refund policy and stick to it Before you go straight to discussing a refund, discuss Why they feel that way What s been going on for them If there s a way you can find a compromise like waiting to finish their coaching package until they have more time, or working on smaller goals if they feel frustrated RESPONDING TO CLIENT COMPLAINTS Complaint: They can t make the changes you re asking of them Discuss the vision that they have for their life Discuss what changes feel doable to them Discuss small incremental changes rather than one big change Give them more cheerleading over what they are doing right rather than just nagging at what they re doing wrong Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 20
SKILLS LAB ASSIGNMENT SKILLS LAB ASSIGNMENT Freddy complains How would you address Freddy s complaint? Hints Goal is too big and broad Personal responsibility Coaching is a tool which he has to use Intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation Values END OF COACHING MODULE 8 Transforma$onal Nutri$on, Inc. 21