Running Head: Balance and Wellness 1 How to Find Balance, Counter Perfectionism, and Cultivate Wellness Katarina Scheffer Western Washington University February 13, 2014
Balance and Wellness 2 How to Find Balance, Counter Perfectionism, and Cultivate Wellness Creating and maintaining balance in life while avoiding the traps and pitfalls of stress and perfectionism can be tricky; however, it can be one of the most important things that we do as human beings. Keeping a healthy and reasonable perspective and expectations can help to ensure that we are growing, learning, and living optimally healthy and productive lives while having the stamina and ability to help others do the same. According to Insight Journal (Holy, 2007), there are Seven Aspects of Wellness that we must all attend to in our lives. These areas of wellness are interconnected and function together to create well-being and greater life satisfaction. For example, working too hard can leave us in poor physical health due to lack of rest or care of the body; likewise, not allowing time for recreation and social endeavors can leave the emotional or spiritual areas of our lives empty or even lead to mental illness. Conversely, activities such as exercising outdoors with a friend fosters physical, social, and environmental wellness. The key to achieving life balance is to attend to the seven areas of wellness on a regular basis because neglecting even one aspect of wellness will negatively impact at least one or more of the others, and the contrary is true as well. The Seven Aspects of Wellness are: 1. Environmental Wellness: Keeping our surroundings, such as our personal belongings and home, place of work, etc. properly cared for and tidy; connecting with nature. 2. Occupational Wellness: Finding and cultivating a career that suits our skills and goals and provides a sense of purpose. 3. Spiritual Wellness: Searching for meaning by using meditation, prayer, affirmations or other methods to connect with something greater than ourselves.
Balance and Wellness 3 4. Physical Wellness: Participating in activities that support a healthy body, such as exercise, sports, eating well, getting enough rest, and personal hygiene. 5. Intellectual Wellness: Cultivating and expanding our minds and awareness through reading, taking classes, and participating in hobbies or creative endeavors to promote learning and acquire new skills. 6. Emotional Wellness: Becoming more in tune with our inner selves by figuring out who we are and what we really want in life, learning how to handle stress, interpreting our feelings, and creating healthy boundaries. 7. Social Wellness: Building and fostering healthy relationships and a support system, as well as feeling connected to society as a whole. Furthermore, Holy explains that these Seven Aspects of Wellness can be attained by participating in many different activities regularly that each take as little as a few minutes a day to accomplish. Some examples of these quick and simple activities are: Drinking 8 glasses of water daily Practicing yoga or doing some stretching Eating a salad (or more vegetables in general) Keeping a journal Calling a friend for a chat Meditating Reading something inspirational Telling people that you love them Sending a card to someone for a special occasion, to show gratitude, or just because
Balance and Wellness 4 Making plans to do something fun with someone special Updating your resume Taking frequent mini breaks Cultivating friendly relations with co-workers Taking time to de-clutter or organize your personal space Sitting outside and enjoying nature and the sunshine Rearranging furniture Reading, watching, or listening to educational articles, videos, or radio programs Writing poetry or drawing/doodling Going on a walk The article The One Tool You Need to Lead a Balanced Life by Haider Al-Mosawi reiterates what Holy states about the importance of taking care of all the different areas of our lives, which is that every area of life is important because each impacts the other and our general well-being as well. Al-Mosawi (2009) explains how this causes stress, imbalance, inefficacy, loss of control, and inevitably dissatisfaction and unhappiness. He describes using a Personal Growth Map to recognize a similar set of seven life areas that need to be addressed: Spiritual, Intellectual, Psychological, Social, Professional, Recreational, and Physical. According to Al- Mosawi we need to be aware of all of these areas and work on each one of them regularly in order to achieve balance in life. To effectively use the personal growth map, he suggests three steps that we can take to achieve immediate results: 1. List all activities that you could possibly do to advance each area of your life (see the aforementioned quick and easy activities that Insight Journal suggests)
Balance and Wellness 5 2. Consider activities that span multiple life areas to maximize efficiency (get the most bang for your buck) 3. Select and begin working on activities that you would like to carry out for each life area immediately (start NOW and be sure that you cover all seven of them) Using this simple method, Al-Mosawi contends that we will gain greater control, balance, health, and satisfaction in our lives. In the article 5 Essential Zen Habits for Balanced Living, author Anastasiya Goers (2010) has a slightly different take on balanced living. At the start of her article she quotes Robert Fulghum who once said Live a balanced life learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. In Goers opinion, as impossible as living a balanced life may seem, in essence there is nothing simpler. She explains that, though difficult at first, once we get the hang of it, following the steps to a balanced life leads to more energy, empowerment, inspiration, and ultimately fulfillment. Goers believes that the key to balanced living means off-setting any negative events in life with positive ones and having the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The following are Goers five essential habits: 1. Awareness and Mindfulness: Being in the moment, finding joy in and appreciating everything that you experience. 2. Appreciation of your body: Caring for yourself by making healthy choices such as being physically active, eating a balanced diet, getting adequate rest, and having fun. 3. Creativity: Approaching challenges creatively can turn dreams into reality, make the work that you do more rewarding, and make life in general more enjoyable.
Balance and Wellness 6 4. Patience: Letting go of frustration to achieve our goals, be more effective parents, partners, friends, etc., and not stress out about the many little annoyances in life. 5. Simplicity: Streamlining work, relationships, food choices, and de-cluttering our lives of excessive social media, unnecessary personal possessions, and unrewarding obligations. Professional Organizer, Diane (her name has been changed) uses some simple techniques to maintain balance and sanity in her busy life. Diane has had to work most of her life while raising three children and because of this her life has not always been balanced. On numerous occasions she has had to resort to multi-tasking. She feels that anyone who has been a mother can relate to having to multi-task and does not feel that it is a bad thing to do, contrary to recent studies. When done within reason, she feels that multi-tasking can be an effective way to accomplish many tasks in a short amount of time, and sometimes it is essential in order to get everything done that needs to be. One way that Diane tries to stay balanced is to nurture her creativity. Diane enjoys throwing elaborate parties with amazing decorations that she often creates herself. Although she likes some alone time to dream up ideas and be creative, she also thrives on collaborating with others on a team to generate new ideas and inspiration than she would not be able to come up with alone. Diane finds that she is good at keeping others focused when organizing, which she currently does in her life as a Professional Organizer, and she is able to motivate people to create beautiful, serene spaces for themselves while also encouraging them to get out of their comforts zones a little in order to achieve this. In her personal life and when working at home she admits that she is all over the place ; nevertheless, she is successful at getting things done, albeit in a less than straightforward fashion as some people might prefer.
Balance and Wellness 7 She jokingly states that she is consistently inconsistent and unintentionally never does the same thing twice, at least not exactly the same way. Diane also finds balance in other activities that she enjoys, such as dancing, which she deeply loves, party planning, which she participates in frequently, and gardening when the weather is nice. She becomes frustrated if she must sit for long periods and is unable get up and move, so she tries to keep herself as physically active as possible. Diane does not consider herself a perfectionist, although she admits that she likes things to be and look perfect and will struggle to make things just right, feeling frustrated when she has a vision that she is unable to bring to fruition. She states that her husband is a perfectionist, though he does not believe that he is, which is why she often has him build things for her because she knows they will turn out right. The two of them share the love of creativity and work well together to make items for events or other needs. Diane realizes that she often compares herself to others and that can lead to stress and a continual need to improve herself and try to make things picture-perfect. She associates this with being raised in a family where a great deal of emphasis was placed on physical beauty and intelligence, in which she often felt that she did not measure up in either category, even though she tried very hard. She believes that the constant striving for perfection is a defense mechanism, allowing people to avoid feeling vulnerable. Diane also feels great deal of responsibility when working with others and does not want to disappoint anyone, stating that when she makes a promise, she follows through no matter what, which can sometimes lead to stress and loss of sleep when the stakes are high. She realizes that she often feels the need to jump in and save people when they appear to be
Balance and Wellness 8 drowning in some area of life, stating that she plugs holes that need to be filled in activities that she is involved in; however, frustration arises when there are so many holes that she cannot possible fill them all. Regardless, Diane tries to put things into perspective, realizing that not everything she does needs to be perfect and at times we can and should give ourselves permission to take shortcuts, which helps to alleviate stress in our lives. In the book Celebrate Yourself by Dorothy Corkille Briggs (1986), perfectionism is addressed among the many other helpful insights. Briggs explains that trying to attain perfection is an impossible ideal that only creates recurrent frustration and dissatisfaction. We need to recognize that humanness and compassion are far more important than perfection and inflexibility. She advises that we let go of unrealistic expectations by challenging our faulty beliefs and allowing ourselves the same consideration and compassion that we would others, which is no simple feat when our beliefs have been ingrained in us since childhood. Briggs states that in the long run perfectionism only serves to push others away because no one can live up to such impossible standards and being around those who expect them is usually unpleasant. We also need to recognize that often the most valuable lessons in life come from learning from our mistakes. If we continually strive for perfection we will likely miss out on opportunities for personal growth, greater awareness, and acceptance. As evidenced, caring for ourselves goes beyond simply having food to eat and a dry place to sleep, as represented in Maslow s Hierarchy of Needs (1954), a common theory found in many psychology classes. In the hierarchy, food and shelter are Physiological Needs situated at the bottom of the pyramid. As we fulfill our most basic needs we are then prepared and usually desire to strive for the next set of needs under the category of Safety, which ensures that we
Balance and Wellness 9 feel secure in all different areas of our lives. Once those needs are met we usually concern ourselves with Love and Belonging, which naturally leads to a need to fulfill Esteem, which is a yearning to feel valued by others. Once all of these lower level needs are filled people usually have the time, energy, and desire to reach their full potential in life, called Self-actualization. Although Maslow s hierarchy follows a logical course and the needs listed are applicable, the idea that one cannot move on to the next level until all of their lower needs are fulfilled is not necessarily accurate. Most people feel the need for safety, love, and esteem all at the same time and strive to attain them; however, unless their most fundamental needs are met, people usually have neither the energy, time, nor the desire to reach the other levels because their primary concern is basic survival. Nonetheless, each of these needs exist within us all, whether, due to the effects of adverse life circumstances or emotional issues, we acknowledge this fact or not. Maslow believed that to reach the final stage of self-actualization we must master all of the previous needs, which in reality rarely happens for the average person, and because of this many people unfortunately never become self-actualized. Achieving self-actualization could be viewed as motivation to work harder at fulfilling the other levels, which would be beneficial to one s well-being, as long as too many frustrations do not present themselves or a person does not go to extremes in their attempt to attain it. Below is a depiction of Maslow s hierarchy:
Balance and Wellness 10 Maslow s Hierarchy of Needs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/file:maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.svg In summary, aspiring to achieve higher standards in life is an inherent feature of humanity and leads to a healthier, longer, more satisfying and enjoyable life, which is something that we all deserve. However, we must be wary to not over-burden ourselves with unrealistic expectations of perfection. Ultimately, as human services professionals we must learn how to strike a balance in all areas of our lives in order to be effective helpers in our field, as well as our lives outside of our profession. If our lives are out of balance and we are not attending to our needs, our well-being will suffer. Furthermore, if we are unable to properly care for our own well-being we will find it difficult to advise others who are struggling or to help them reach their highest potential. Essentially, in taking care of ourselves and our own needs we become better able to successfully help others to do the same, which benefits society as a whole.
Balance and Wellness 11 References Al-Mosawi, H. (2009). The one tool you need to lead a balanced life. Retrieved from http://zenhabits.net/the-one-tool-you-need-to-lead-a-balanced-life/ Corkille Briggs, D. (1986). Celebrate yourself: Enhancing your own self-esteem. Garden City, NY. Doubleday & Co., Inc. Diane, Professional Organizer, Personal communication, February 15, 2014. Goers, A. (2010). 5 essential Zen habits for balanced living. Retrieved from http://zenhabits.net/balance/ Holy, P. (2007). Insight journal: The 7 aspects of wellness. Retrieved from http://www.anxiety-and-depressionsolutions.com/articles/health_and_wellness/7_aspects_of_wellness_intro.php Maslow, A. (1954). Motivation and personality. In Wikipedia. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs