What is anxiety? What does it look like? Why is my child anxious? What can I do to help my child?
Group Activity: How do you know when your child is anxious?
What is anxiety? Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe. NHS Choices Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time Fear can be useful; e.g. keep you safe, in low levels it can help you pay attention and perform better..or a problem
Fight or Flight Response Evolutionary response Body s reaction to fear Adrenaline
Physical Indicators/ Physiology Dizzy Dry mouth Sweating Short of breath Stomach ache Feeling sick Being sick Headache Can t sleep Tiredness Fast or irregular heartbeat Muscles ache Feeling tense Trembling Shaking Pins and needles Lots of toilet trips
Distorted Thinking/Self Talk The way in we think affects how we feel and behave Anxiety = perceived threat/ prediction of something unpleasant or harmful happening in the future An overestimation of the probability of something bad happening and overestimation of the consequences (catastrophic) if it did. Underestimation of our ability to cope (intolerable)
I ll never be able to learn these formulas Distorted thinking I know I m going to fail this test I should be able to keep track of all my stuff by now I ll fall over at sports day and everyone will laugh
Write down one example of distorted thinking that your child often says
Behavioural Indicators 1. Challenging behaviour 2. Avoidance / withdrawal / escape 3. Increased activity levels 4. Increased sensory behaviour (eg: nail-biting, humming, scratching, chewing) 5. Increased repetitive behaviours 6. Increased focus on special interest Note down how your child behaves when they re anxious
Perceived threat Thoughts Feelings Symptoms Fear remains Avoidance Safety behaviour Anxiety Cycle Short term relief Westbrook, Kennerly and Kirk, 2007
Does it matter if my child is anxious? High levels of distress Poorer confidence in trying new things Fewer friends Underachieve at school Increased risk for future physical and mental health problems
How do you respond to your child s anxiety? Do you... Always help your child avoid things they don t want to do? Reassure them: don t worry, everything will be okay? Tell them to sort it out themselves?
What can you do to help?
Teach and explore Emotions Language for emotions label and model Explain anxiety is normal and how it serves a purpose Explore their physical indicators of anxiety body map
Find a picture, photo, piece of music and name the physical feeling
Level it how intense is the feeling? Teach emotions Use a 5-point scale linked to special interest Model it www.superpowerspeech.com www.jacobsfamilyblogspot.com
Learn what makes your child anxious? Write a list of triggers/stressors Which is the most important at the moment? When does it happen? Where? With whom? What makes it more / less likely to happen?
Challenge Negative Thoughts Encourage your child to become a Detective with their thoughts Thoughts NOT Facts What is the Evidence? What else could happen? What is an alternative realistic thought? (Calm thought)
Challenge Negative Thoughts Negative thought I can t do maths. Challenge Like everyone else I find some subjects hard and other things easy. I can ask for help. If I don t try I won t know. What if I make a mistake? Everybody makes mistakes. It is good to make mistakes because that is how you learn.
Breaking down Anxious behaviour Validate but avoid giving excessive reassurance (Safety Behaviour) Keeping your own emotions in check Avoidance makes the FEAR worse Loss of confidence more anxiety avoidance spreads
Fighting Fear by Facing Fear Bravery breaks the pattern Encourage and Model Courageous Coping Break a Goal down into smaller steps to build up to the Goal Stay in each situation until the anxiety drops Repeat several times before moving up the ladder Praise and Reward each step/courageous coping
Ladder/Exposure Hierarchy
Anxiety Curve Builds confidence in coping Tests out the negative thoughts.
What can my child do to get back to calm? Create a tool box: calm box, happy box.. Identify and use a chill-out zone Learn belly breathing Teach them relaxation and imagery skills (safe place) Refocusing - e.g. 5 Senses http://www.relaxkids.co.uk Think a brave thought I ve done it before, I can do it again Schedule worry time Worry box/ Worry book/ Worry eaters Visual timetables / Visual timers
Which strategy will you help your child try first?
Put on your own oxygen mask before helping small children or others who may need your assistance.
Self-care Practice sustainable and do-able things Find ways to be mindful: Be present Cultivate compassion and acceptance Use all of the strategies discussed to manage our own anxiety
Where can I go for help? Talking Therapies Counselling CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) Diagnostic Support Service (PSC) GP
Professional Help? Discuss further with SENCO/Family Liaison Worker Children s Action Teams (CAT s) multiprofessional teams, Educational Psychologist, Primary Mental Health Workers Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ - Parent Helpline Youth Counselling Services
Resources
Resources
Worry Eaters