It Takes a Village! Putting You FIRST! Finding Individuality, Respect, and Safety Together

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It Takes a Village! Exploring the Intersection Between Sexual Violence and Sexuality Related Needs for People with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Putting You FIRST! Finding Individuality, Respect, and Safety Together

SHARES Task Force 2017 Annual Conference Healthy Sexuality: Knowledge is Power! Supporting Individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities through Education and Advocacy https://tinyurl.com/hlhkbdk March 13, 2017 8:00 am- 4:00pm EDT New Jersey Law Center One Constitution Square New Brunswick, NJ 08901

Tracy A. Higgins, MA, LPC Director of Counseling Melissa Keyes DiGioia, CSE Director of Education info@findingyourindividuality.com Putting You FIRST! Finding Individuality, Respect, and Safety Together

We are committed to providing quality education and counseling to individuals of ALL abilities. Our mission is to empower individuals with the education, skills, support and resources they need to meet their fullest potential in the relationship they hold with themselves and others within their community. Putting You FIRST! Finding Individuality, Respect, and Safety Together

Let s talk about sex baby, let s talk about you and me. Let s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let s talk about sex Let s talk about sex! -Salt n Pepa 1990

WORKSHOP OBJECTIVES 1. Describe at least two ways that sexual violence can impact the sexuality related needs of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. 2. Explain two approaches in addressing the sexuality related needs of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

Common Experiences Retard Sped Raped Teased Physical abuse Misunderstood Pantsed Called names Pushed Verbal abuse Everyday Sexual abuse Waiting for a call Manipulated Lied to Pressured Emotional abuse Tricked Coerced Neglect Isolated

What about Our Work with People with I/DD? People with I/DD, especially women, are at heightened risk for abuse (2-4x higher) Baladerian, 1991; Horner-Johnson & Drum, 2006 90% of women with I/DD will experience some form of sexual abuse during their lifetime. Curry, et al, 2011 92% -98% of victims reportedly knew the abuser Mansell & Sobsey, 2001 44% of survivors of sexual abuse (with I/DD) had a relationship with the perpetrator specifically related to their disabilities Only 1-3% of all incidents of sexual abuse are perpetrated by strangers Baladerian, 1991

ABUSE impacts thoughts, behaviors and decision making Feeling Feelings of blame, shame and embarrassment, loss of trust, fear of safety, anger and betrayal, anxiety and depression Thinking I m alone I m stupid I have no control I can t change things Doing Avoidance, confused personal boundaries with others, trouble saying no, over or non compliance, difficulty trusting, poor emotional regulation

Triggers can Be something we hear, feel, see, smell, taste Evoke memories/thoughts/feelings of events experienced Occur at any time Be avoided or confronted

Sexual Violence Verbal harassment & inappropriate sexual language Unwanted sexual touching of private parts Unwanted display of sexual parts (pornography, exhibitionism) Tricking or manipulating someone into sexual activity. Exposure to pornographic materials. Forced abortion, sterilization or pregnancy. Pursuing sexual activity when the victim is not fully conscious, or is not asked, or is afraid to say no. Hurting the victim physically during sex, or assaulting his/her genitals, including use of objects or weapons intra-vaginally, orally or anally. Sexual Assault

Developmental Disabilities umbrella term that includes intellectual disabilities and other chronic physical disabilities: -Autism Spectrum Disorder -Downs Syndrome -Cerebral Palsy -Prader-Willi Syndrome -Fetal Alcohol Effects/Syndrome severe, long term disability that can affect cognitive ability, physical functioning, or both appears before age 22 & likely to be life-long stemming from genetic or other causes (lead exposure, alcohol exposure, etc.) Source: American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (AAIDD)

Sexual Being

Myths About Sexuality & Disability People with disabilities are not sexual. People with developmental and physical disabilities are child-like and dependent. People with disabilities cannot control their sexuality. Source: Sex Education for Physically, Emotionally, and Mentally Challenged Youth. www.advocatesforyouth.com

Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction.

Circles of Sexuality Dailey, D. (1981). The Dynamics of Aging Original Essays on the Processes and Experiences of Growing Old.

Sensuality Awareness, acceptance of and comfort with one s own body, physiological enjoyment of one s own body and the bodies of others. Skin Hunger Aural Stimuli Visual Stimuli Human Sexual Response Cycle Fantasy Body Image

Intimacy The ability and need to experience emotional closeness to another human being and have it returned. Caring Sharing Loving/Liking Risk Taking Vulnerability Self-disclosure Trust

Challenge to Develop Peer/Interpersonal Relationships language deficits misjudging social cues misinterpreting types of relationships trouble recognizing when to terminate a conversation, difficulty forming questions or sentences, or inattentiveness Grieveo, et al., 2006; Gougeon, 2010; Smith & Tyler, 2010; Sullivan, & Caterino, 2008

Sexual Identity The sense of who one is as a sexual person including a sense of maleness and femaleness. Bias Gender Identity Gender Role Sexual Orientation Biological Sex/Gender

Biological Sex: A person s combination of genitals, chromosomes, and hormones Sex Assigned at Birth: The sex someone is labeled at birth, usually based on the appearance of their genitals Gender Identity: A person s deep seated sense of their own gender Gender Expression: The gendered way that a person dresses or presents themselves Sexual Orientation: A person s sexual, emotional, physical and psychological attraction to other people.

Graphic by Sam Killermann

Two spirit Gender Non-Conforming Bi-Gender Gender Queer Third Gender

Sexual Health & Reproduction The facts, figures, and biology of the body and sexual and reproductive systems. Includes the care of the organs, the health consequences of sexual behaviors, and biology of producing children. Factual Information Feelings & Attitudes Intercourse Physiology and Anatomy of Reproductive Organs Sexual Reproduction Sexually Transmitted Infections Contraception

Sexual Health.is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity.

Sexual Health.requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.

Sexualization The use of sexuality to influence, control or manipulate others. Rape Incest Sexual Harassment Withholding Sex Seduction Flirting Advertising

Why are People with I/DD More Vulnerable to Abuse? Lack of understanding of what constitutes abuse. May not realize that sexual abuse is abusive, unusual or illegal. People with DD are TAUGHT to be compliant at home and within other systems. Are not taught to challenge authority. Do not believe that they have the right or choice to refuse.

Why are People with I/DD More Vulnerable to Abuse? View everyone as a friend. Limited social opportunities. Low self-esteem and strong need for acceptance. Lack of assertiveness. Frequently fail to disclose because of fear of not being believed or taken seriously. They are not taught to reduce their risk of abuse.

Why Teach? rights in relationships with others and rights related to one s body cannot be exercised if not recognized. understanding the body helps to raise awareness of potential boundary violations manifest negative feelings towards the sexual organs struggle with interpersonal communication & reporting wants, needs, emotions do not understand the unwritten rules of social behavior (Couwenhoven, 2007; Walker-Hirsch, 2007; Schwier & Hingsburger, 2000; Sullivan, & Caterino, 2008; Leutar & Mihoković, 2007; Hellemans, Roeyers, Leplae, Dewaele, & Deboutte, 2010; Johnson & Sigler, 2000)

What to Teach When Ages 3-9 Differences between boys & girls Public and private places Parts of the body How babies are born Ages 9-15 Menstruation Wet dreams Puberty changes Ways to recognize & say no to inappropriate sexual touching by others How babies are made Sexual feelings Masturbation Schwier, K.M. & Hingsburger, D. (2000). Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities. Baltimore, MD: Paul H. Brooks.

Interdisciplinary Approach Disability Related Needs Social Competency Coping Skills Sexual Health Trauma History Treatment Planning Support Systems Physical Health Mental Health Social Opportunities

What resources might they need? Behavior Refuses to shower. Masturbates in public. Asks staff for sex. Resource Doctor Behaviorist Occupational therapist Sexual health provider Recreation program Respite worker Psychologist/ therapist Psychiatrist Sexual assault center

How Do I Respond? If you suspect sexual abuse and/or a person reports sexual abuse, reach out for help. Call the Sexual Assault Center in your county. SUPPORT the victim because most likely that individual is fearful that you won t believe them and/or won t be accepting of them. Be nonjudgmental and use non-judgmental language. Feelings and memories of the abuse makes it hard to talk about it for most survivors. Avoid pressuring the person to talk.

How Do I Respond! Leave interviewing to specially trained professionals. Do not involve more people than necessary. Document and report the details disclosed, provided resources and make appropriate referrals. Familiarize yourself to your organizations reporting policies and procedures.

SHARES Task Force 2017 Annual Conference Healthy Sexuality: Knowledge is Power! Supporting Individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities through Education and Advocacy March 13, 2017 8:00 am- 4:00pm EDT New Jersey Law Center One Constitution Square New Brunswick, NJ 08901

Closing I want to remember I plan to. info@findingyourindividuality.com