Walking Talking Mark - EDUQAS STYLE COMPONENT 1 - MODEL ANSWERS 20 th Century Literature Reading Commissioned by The PiXL Club Ltd. This resource is strictly for the use of member schools for as long as they remain members of The PiXL Club. It may not be copied, sold, or transferred to a third party or used by the school after membership ceases. Until such time it may be freely used within the member school. All opinions and contributions are those of the authors. The contents of this resource are not connected with, or endorsed by, any other company, organisation or institution. PiXL Club Ltd endeavour to trace and contact copyright owners. If there are any inadvertent omissions or errors in the acknowledgements or usage, this is unintended and PiXL will remedy these on written notification. 1
A1. How does the writer show what life was like for women in the time before the Republic of Gilead? [10] AO2 (1a, b, c and d) Answer 1 Before the Republic of Gilead, life for women is shown as dangerous. The writer uses the sentence Women were not protected then, in its own paragraph to highlight how women were not protected in the time before Gilead. Also, the writer writes what feels like a list to show what the dangers were to women before Gilead. The first is don t open the door to a stranger and the word stranger makes it seem like all people were dangerous if the woman didn t know them. The writer also says that women had to make him slide his ID under the door showing that women couldn t trust men just on what they said. Another way that the writer makes Gilead seem dangerous is by saying Don t go into a Laundromat, by yourself, at night. The use of the word night shows the reader that night time was dangerous and that women couldn t go out alone at night. Commentary: 4/10 marks. The length of this response limits the candidate s mark and the focus on one key idea (the dangers) rather than selecting a range of different ideas to answer the question means that is cannot achieve any more than 4 marks. The comments made are straightforward (and repetitive) with glimpses of a more comprehensive explanation (e.g. showing that women couldn t trust men ), but these are not frequent or varied enough to warrant 5-6 marks. There is some identification of subject terminology ( paragraph, list, word ), but not enough is made of them to show that this candidate considers them to be deliberately used by the writer to achieve effects. Additionally, this candidate doesn t comment on structure. Answer 2 The tone of this extract, from line 24 to 35 is very reflective and it is clear that the narrator looks back with wistfulness upon the time before Gilead. This reflective and wistful mood is created through the use of the phrase I remember but also through the childish imagery created by the anecdote of the game I avoid stepping on the cracks, tying the narrator s experience of Gilead to her memories as a child. The contrast here between then and now makes the time before Gilead seem like a happy and carefree time. 2
However, in contrast to this, there are a number of suggestions that in the time before Gilead, life was dangerous for women. The use of the adverb never in I never ran at night creates the impression that to run at night would be a careless thing to do in terms of personal safety and this is further supported by the notion created in line 32 that women shouldn t go anywhere by themselves at night. There is a sense that the authorities before Gilead could not look after women in the way that they needed - Women were not protected then, but the register of this short sentence sounds like official wording, like our narrator has to say that because of what the Republic of Gilead teach now rather than it being a personal idea. The fact that this sentence is said in an impersonal way contrasts with the wistful impression created in the rest of the extract, showing a reader that the dangers weren t as bad at the Republic of Gilead makes them out to be. In this extract, there is dichotomy in the way that life for women in the time before Gilead is presented. Whilst considerable dangers are revealed to us, most notably when the writer uses the masculine pronoun he in even if he says to show that men were the source of the danger, there is also a positive representation of the independence and freedom women enjoyed. When the narrator uses the sentence I think about having such control, there is a deliberate lack of emotion in the words used. However, the placing of this simple sentence used to end the paragraph causes the effect of ellipsis, making the reader think that this reflection is positive and that the narrator misses the control she used to have. Commentary: 9/10 marks. For the majority of this response, the writing warrants 8 marks rather than 9, but the final paragraph is perceptive and the candidate uses well-considered and accurate subject terminology ( dichotomy, masculine pronoun and the discussion of the placement of the final sentence for effect). There are a series of accurate comments made in answer to the question and the use of an overview at the beginning focuses the student s writing throughout. Whilst they keep coming back to the same idea of the narrator s wistfulness, this supports a range of ideas about what life was like for women. There is some analysis of language ( masculine pronoun men were the source ), tone ( reflective, wistfulness ) and structure (the placement of the final sentence and its effect) and, in the final paragraph, this becomes more detailed warranting 9 marks. There is a sense that this candidate has tracked the text carefully with the question in mind then grouped ideas in order to explore the effects. There is a good range of detail included, though there are perhaps a few elements of the extract that are not dealt with fully, meaning that this response doesn t receive full marks. 3
A2. Evaluate the way the Republic of Gilead is presented in this passage. You should write about: Your own thoughts and feelings about how the Republic of Gilead is presented in the passage as a whole. How the writer has created these thoughts and feelings. [10] AO4 Answer 1 The Republic of Gilead is shown as being a beautiful place that we would all love to live in. The writer has used the quote the lawns are tidy and they re like the beautiful pictures they used to print in the magazines to show us that the place looks lovely and somewhere I would want to live. The Republic of Gilead is also presented as being calm and a nice place to live in when they say, There is the same absence of people, the same air of being asleep. I think it would be a nice, calm place to live in for a while but then it would get a bit boring. The writer also says that The street is almost like a museum which makes me think more that it might be a little bit boring. Later on in the extract, the writer says Cars go by, black most of them, some grey and brown. These dull colours make me think that everyone and everything in the Republic of Gilead is boring, even the cars they use, so while it is a pretty place, I think it would be too boring to live there. Commentary: 4/10 marks. This candidate gives personal opinions that are supported by straightforward textual references. They have focused more on the explicit information offered by the passage and made their own inferences about Gilead. Whilst these are not incorrect, they do not fully explore the nuances offered by the text with regard to the physical appearance of Gilead and what that suggests for the people living there. Additionally, whilst this candidate has chosen appropriate textual references, they have not been selective and some of the quotations chosen could have been shortened to achieve the same point (e.g. air of being asleep instead of the full sentence). There is a limited interaction with the text and, like many candidates at this level, they have focused on one idea and struggled to move past it in this case, the physical appearance of Gilead. Whilst they have taken information from two different places in the passage (paragraph 1 and lines 17-18), the narrow focus means that this is not enough of a range to warrant above 4 marks and remains at limited interaction with the text as a whole. 4
This candidate also struggles to explore the how part of the question. They begin to talk about writer s intent when they start to think about the dull colours but do not move past this simple assertion, which isn t ever attributed to the writer. The use of the phrase This quote limits the student s ability to explore methods the writer has used to create these thoughts and feelings and, as such, cannot move up into the next band, where some critical awareness is required. Answer 2 In the first paragraph, the writer says the façades are gracious referring to the fronts of the houses in Gilead. However, I feel that this image can be applied metaphorically to the whole of Gilead; the beautiful imagery created by the writer to describe its physical appearance is a façade for the place itself. Firstly, it is an attractive, tidy and calm place shown by the simile like the beautiful pictures, which is clearly designed to make the reader admire the way it looks, but I feel that these appearances are deceptive (as often magazine pictures are), because a truly beautiful place would be one where people are encouraged to become better, but the university is closed showing that Gilead doesn t value knowledge. Additionally, the use of contrast between the past and the present, shown by the writer s use of used to in line 13, make the reader think that the past was better because of the conversations with Luke referred to by the narrator. It is almost like the narrator has to tell us the beautiful things about Gilead but she really longs for the past, creating the feeling that she is trapped in Gilead. The writer also refers to the protection of women in Gilead, but provides a careful contrast which a reader can pick up on between the idea of safety and the idea of freedom. The short, shocking sentence Women were not protected then makes the reader initially think that the past was bad because women had no protection (and society now teaches us that women should be kept safe) so we see Gilead as the saviour of women. However, this is contrasted by the writer s use of imagery to categorise women in the paragraph starting on line 17. For example, the clothes of the Econowives are green and cheap and skimpy, creating the impression that they are sexually provocative and not wealthy. This doesn t make me think that these women are protected in Gilead. Commentary: 9/10 marks. This candidate s persuasive evaluation (warranting 9 marks) begins with their perceptive overview that the physical appearance of Gilead is a façade. They give personal thoughts (as well as more general X makes a reader ) supported carefully with how the writer has created these impressions these evaluations are insightful and show that the candidate has inferred meanings and then grouped them by 5
subject (the contrast between appearance and the actual lives of the inhabitants / the treatment of women) in order to draw persuasive evaluations. There is consistent engagement and involvement with the text and, to support each point, the candidate has selected a range of details from different points of the text this shows a sophistication warranting the top band. The use of textual references is purposeful and each quotation used has been carefully selected to support the point being made. 6