Beverly Holmes, MBA, CHAE, CHTP Associate Professor of Business Administration and Management Alaska Pacific University
1. Understand how people differ in the way they communicate with one another. 2. Learn what your communication preferences are by understanding your motivators. 3. Learn tricks and tools to use to enable you to effectively communicate with anyone in your organization.
We will get along fine, as soon as you see things my way! But people are different!
Influence perceptions of self and others
Myers-Briggs Filters: Preference Dichotomies Extraversion ENERGY Introversion Sensing INFORMATION INtuition Thinking DECISIONS Feeling Judging LIFESTYLE Perceiving
Feelers Do-ers Thinkers Adapters
FEELERS: HELPING NURTURING Concern for the Protection, Growth and Welfare of Others Being open and responsive to the needs of others Seeking ways to bring help to others Trying to make life easier for others Trying to avoid being a burden to others Ensuring others reach their potential Ensuring others are valued Defending the rights of others
DO-ERS: ASSERTIVE DIRECTING Concern for Task Accomplishment, Concern for Organization of People, Time, Money and Any Other Resources to Achieve Desired Results Competing for authority, responsibility and positions of leadership Exercising persuasion Being alert to opportunity Claiming the right to earned rewards Accepting challenges Accepting risk-taking as necessary and desirable Demonstrating competitiveness
THINKER: ANALYTIC INDEPENDENT Concern for Assurance That Things Have Been Properly Thought Out Concern for Meaningful Order Being Established and Maintained Individualism, Self-Reliance & Self-Dependence Being objective Being right Being principled Being in control of emotions Being practical Being cautious and thorough Being fair Being resolute Being serious Being their own judge and jury Being their own person Thinking things through before acting
ADAPTER: FLEXIBLE COOPERATIVE Concern for Flexibility and Concern for the Welfare of the Group Concern for the Members of the Group and for Belonging in the Group Being curious about what others think and feel, open minded and willing to adapt Experiments with different ways of acting Proud to be a member Likes to know a lot of people Likes to be known by a lot of people Likes to be known as flexible
Observe Office areas, dress Listen Key words and phrases Ask Answers will reveal motivation
Feelers: Comfortable clothes, bright colors, loose fits, soft fabrics. Informal or vintage Thinkers: Conservative and proper, neat, tailored, neutral colors Do-ers: Simple functional clothes, neat but not fancy. Designer labels, good fabrics Adapters: Imaginative or very fashionable clothes. May look different every day
Feelers: Pictures of pets, loved ones, other people s kids. Candy to share. Flowers, knick-knacks with sentimental meanings Thinkers: Conventional, non-distracting workspace, everything in order. Backups of essential supplies. Closed door if possible Do-ers: Plaques, and other signs of achievement. Pictures of kids with trophies. Memorabilia from winning teams. Corner office Adapters: Variety of decorations. Objects selected for whimsy as much as function. Books on topics outside of work. Open door
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How to recognize a Feeler They re an empath and want to connect, make you feel comfortable If you're not doing so well, they will try to figure out a way to help you They want to see you succeed and be happy
Listen for signals that they are overwhelmed or exhausted They need to hear two things: 1. You understand they are having difficulties - something like: "I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I don't want to make things more difficult for you." 2. Explain that they are the best one to help you: "I'm in trouble and I need your advice; you're so good in situations like this." Being a rescuer is the role they live to fill, but they want to be acknowledged for it. When they feel appreciated, they will be ready to jump in.
How to recognize a Do er They labor under the constant pressure of deadlines and do everything - including communicating with you- in bursts of very intense energy. They have a short attention span and can make you feel as if you're taking up too much of their time just by saying hello.
They respond best when they know you have a plan for getting a task done fast. You need to communicate in easily digestible sound bites, so prepare ahead of time If you don't get to the point quickly enough, the Do-er will consider you an additional source of stress What you want the Do-er to know is that you can help reduce their workload.
How to recognize a Thinker They see projects through to the bitter end These people play by numbers and facts They are logical and realistic, and they will pop any idealistic balloon by citing a similar situation in which someone failed
Thinkers love systems and organization and solving problems When they point out inaccuracies or mistakes, let them know that you understand and will fix the problem They need to be reassured that you'll stay grounded in reality and that you'll be very careful about gathering your research
How to recognize an Adapter They are the problem solvers but not necessarily interested in sticking around to implement solutions they d rather move on to the next puzzle. They think in terms of the team. They ask a lot of questions so they can adapt to what the situation calls for. They see all sides of the issue and can t understand that you may not. They ask questions that may be annoying. They don t realize that you don't know what's in their brain.
Let them talk out their ideas for a while before you begin asking questions Questions should be phrased to show them you like their ideas but simply need more details to understand the full picture Be sure to include them in the team
Answer these 5 questions to find out your type!
A. Helping others do what they want to do B. Directing others to do what I want to do C. Doing what I want to do without relying on others.
A. How I can help is clear B. I am counted on to make decisions and direct others C. After through study, I determine my own best action
A. Seeing others benefit from my actions B. Having others turn to me for leadership C. Being my own boss and doing things for myself
A. In support of a strong leader who I have faith in B. The one who provides leadership that others want to follow C. Neither a leader not a follower but free to pursue my own way
A. A feeling person who responds to other people's needs B. An energetic person who is quick to see opportunities C. A practical person who is careful not to rush into things before I am ready
A : Feelers Care about the welfare and growth of others B : Do-ers Care about task accomplishment and winning C : Thinkers Care about order, rules and independence A-B-C : Adaptors Care about the group and being flexible
Ask 3 questions to understand why they are upset: 1. Why is this important to you? 2. What is the most frustrating part of the problem? 3. What do you want going forward?
Make it right without me getting upset Let me know you care Treat me like a person, not a problem Be engaged and sincere Keep your promises
FIX IT! NOW! LISTEN I m not going to repeat it No excuses, just action Be as good as I am Respond quickly
I need to know that there is a structure supporting the solution Give me clarification of the process Apologize for the inconvenience No emotion or story, just facts
We re want to be back in balance the relationship is win/win Admit error so we can work together to resolve it Ask me-listen without interruptions Have a positive attitude
Observe Understand your style first and appreciate how you may overdo your strengths and may cause conflict in another Listen Learn the styles of others in your life and how to speak their language Ask When things don t go well, ask with the intention of understanding what others value
Have a Nice Conflict by Scudder, Patterson & Mitchell Type Talk by Kroeger & Thuesen Beverly Holmes beverlyholmesak@gmail.com (907) 243-8333
Feelers: Fairness makes sure everyone gets a chance Do-ers: So we can tell who wins Thinkers: Because it s the right thing to do Adapters: It allows all opinions to be counted
REWARD Personalized gifts Knowing that their help made a positive difference A party where all can enjoy their success Teddy bears, hugs, flowers Being put on committees that will see to parties and welcomes PUNISHMENT Being in a conflict ridden environment Being told their help actually hurt Having offers of help rejected Being given the job of disciplining or firing co-workers Being made to work alone
REWARD Public recognition of success Assigned parking spaces with their name Increased staff Money (as a means of keeping score) Plaques recognizing their leadership Increased challenges Increased staff PUNISHMENT Being put in positions of no authority Reduction of staff Having information withheld Being made to work only at highly detailed tasks that must be done slowly Tasks with unclear outcomes Anonymity
REWARD Being given as much time as they would like to finish projects A door on their office Electronic gadgets that help them organize Complex tasks of analysis or creating order Trust their work is without error Tasks they can do alone Quiet recognition of a job well done PUNISHMENT Being put in a position where they have no privacy Working where there are short timelines that are inflexible Not being trusted Working where resources are wasted Being asked for ball park estimates Working in emotionally charged environments
REWARD Being given flex time work schedules Their choice of what task to take on next Consulting positions Variety in assignments Permission not to attend social functions occasionally Gift certificates from shopping centers Choice of committees to serve on Memberships in organizations so they can network PUNISHMENT Performing repetitive work and tasks that have rigid protocols Work environments that demand conformity A situation where there is no hope of changing their jobs Being told that no options need to be discussed Working with people who won t change their minds Not being trusted or being accused of betrayal