Gentle Strategies to Get Your Newborn Off to a Good Start 7 Gentle Sleep & Soothing Tips for Your Newborn Kim West, Heather Irvine, and Andrea Strang medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this site. Gentle Baby Solutions 2013
Becoming a new parent is a time of great joy and excitement but we also know that it s also a time of mild panic, second- guessing, frantic research, and phone calls to every other seasoned mom you know. You re probably also bone- tired in a way that you never thought possible. Add to that the well- meant (but unsolicited) advice that everyone seems glad to share, and you may start to wonder which advice you should take, and which you should ignore. Why should you listen to us? Between us, we ve got more than 40 years of professional experience: Kim West, LCSW- C, The Sleep Lady has over 17 years of sleep coaching under her belt, and has been a family therapist for 21 years, along with two daughters who successfully survived infancy (in fact, they re teenagers now!). She is a passionate, educated sleep advocate for the entire family, and has built an amazing network of Gentle Sleep Coaches whom she personally trains and certifies. Heather Irvine is a Certified Gentle Sleep coach, and has been consulting with families for over 12 years. She was one of the first coaches that Kim certified. Heather is also a certified lactation counselor and mother to 5 (yes, you read that number right) children of her own. She s got so much experience that many families are amazed by how well she reads babies and can respond to their needs. Andrea Strang is a Birth and Postpartum Doula as well as a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach. She has logged more hours providing in- home coaching and support than any of Kim s other Coaches. In her 14 years of practice, Andrea has helped over 3000 families, and has 3 children of her own. So you see, between us, we ve raised 10 children, and helped literally tens of thousands of families with their questions about babies, and of course, sleep. This quick guide will help to answer some of the most common questions that we are asked by new parents. Questions that you are probably asking yourself. The difference is that we ve done the research for you, so you don t have to sift through thousands of search results hoping it s the right answer.
Insights into Infant Sleep Do you want to take a guess how many times your baby woke up last night? In the early weeks, your baby s sleep is incredibly (and frustratingly) variable. Most newborns sleep between 13 and 20 hours per day. That is a LOT of sleep! Infant Sleep Basics Between 6 and 8 weeks, your baby will start to establish one longer stretch of sleep at night of possibly up to 4 hours. Don t worry, your baby s sleep won t always be like this, She ll learn to sleep through the night soon enough, so try to be patient. She will be more awake and active during the day, and this will help her to sort out her nights and days. This is a great time to introduce a simple, soothing bedtime routine to help your baby get ready for sleep. At 3 months, your baby may lengthen that night time stretch a little more. Hooray! This is good news, especially since his daytime sleep may still be all over the place. Sometime between 3 and 4 months, your baby will begin to develop her circadian rhythm, which will help her to even out her naps. How Many Times Was Your Baby Up Last Night? I m sure that the night wakings are tiring for you. We remember how tired and bleary- eyed we were with our infants, but there is light at the end of the tunnel! Current studies show that the following average number of times babies wake up between 10:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m. are: 1 month old: 3-4 times 2 months old: 2-3 times 4 months old: 1-2 times 6 months old: 0-1 time In other words, sleeping through the night without waking may not happen for a while! You can help to encourage your baby s good sleep at night, starting right now by doing a few easy things regularly each day. The most current research suggests your baby is not expected to sleep through the night before 6 months of age. Waking to feed, or for a change is perfectly normal. The bittersweet news is that this first 6 months is going to fly by, so use some of these tips to help yourself and your baby both get better sleep now.
Encourage Your Baby s Circadian Rhythm Although your baby s circadian rhythm won t truly develop until sometime around 4 months of age, you can help to teach her the difference between night and day. This may be especially helpful if you re suffering from the dreaded day and night reversal, which is quite common before 6 weeks. Take your baby outside EVERY day. Make sure that night feedings are kept low- key, with dim or no lights. Your newborn needs to eat at least every 2-3 hours, so make sure that you WAKE YOUR BABY (6 weeks and younger) to feed him if he sleeps through a feeding during the day. Help Your Baby Sleep It s okay to help your baby to sleep during these first six months. You re not going to create any irrevocable long- term sleep habits. Sleep is one of those things that takes many new parents by surprise because it s not something that your baby instinctively knows how to do. You may need to help her fall asleep, and that s okay. We re here to tell you that it s OKAY to rock, nurse, feed, walk, shush, or pat your baby to sleep if that s what it takes. In fact, if your baby will only sleep in the swing, then that s okay, too. It s about allowing her to sleep soundly to help her develop and grow during these early months. Put Your Baby to Sleep in the Same, Soothing Room Each Night Believe it or not, your baby s sleep environment is incredibly important. You want to make sure that your baby is falling asleep in a dark, quiet, and cool room consistently. Steer clear of distracting items that attach the crib, and instead, provide soothing white noise, either from a gently blowing fan or a white noise machine. Also, remember that most babies sleep best with a temperature between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit, so be sure that your thermostat is set appropriately. When your baby wakes to feed, ensure that you keep the room dark (a nightlight is helpful, but be wary of white light, as it can disrupt your baby s sleep- instead, look for blue, green, or red) and speak softly, or don t speak at all. When you re done feeding her, return her to her crib gently and help her back to sleep.
3 Gentle Ways to Calm Your Crying Baby We know how tired you are, and we also know that you want answers, so we ve put our heads together to give you proven and effective tips that are known to help calm and soothe your new baby. Hold Your Baby Avoid Overstimulation Did you know that the more you hold your baby (especially within the first 6-8 weeks of life), the less she will cry? In fact, one study found that carrying your baby for just 3 hours each day may reduce crying in a colicky one- month- old infant by up to 45%. That s a significant reduction in the amount of time your baby could be spending in tears! Skin to skin contact has also been proven to provide amazing benefits to parents and babies, as well as infant massage. You may also want to try wearing your baby, as it s one of the easiest ways to hold your baby throughout the day without stress on your body. Your baby s nervous system is very fragile in these first few months of life. Your baby has an amazing ability to provide cues as to when she s had enough and needs a break from stimulation. If you miss these cues and your baby s system gets overloaded, then you may notice a major meltdown that could be very difficult to soothe. Start to observe your baby and make note of the times when she is very fussy. Stop and try to remember what happened directly preceding the major meltdown. Did you just come back taking your baby out to lunch at a noisy restaurant, or have family over where she was passed around from person to person? By observing and noticing these cues (and acting on them) you can help to protect your infant s sensitivities during this fragile time. Catching her S.O.S cues early will help you intercept a potential meltdown by removing your baby from the situation. Keep a Flexible Routine Although your baby is not yet ready to have a schedule, keeping a flexible routine throughout his day will help to ease transitions, and may help him to begin differentiating day from night. One of the easiest places to start with your baby s new routine is bedtime. Choose three things (often bath, feed, song or story are quite effective) that you repeat without fail every night. Allow flexibility because at this young age your baby is still developing, and his needs are constantly changing.
You can also help your baby ease into new routines by gradually adding routines as he gets older. Remember, newborn babies don t really have a routine, but as early as 6 to 8 weeks, you can slowly introduce new routines, such as playtime and feeding to help calm your baby throughout the day. For more infant tips, including expert advice about your baby s temperament, development, sleep, feeding, and more, please visit Gentle Baby Solutions. Photo credits: Bogofoo; Locutis