Listen Up Now Hard Skills The crucial importance of listening in business Soft Skills Dr Darryl Cross Leadership & Careers Coach: Psychologist Emotional Intelligence The Stanford Research Institute proposed that notion that there were 2 main packets of abilities that lead to promotion, business success and profit: Technical Skills & Knowledge Interpersonal & Communication Skills The most important single ingredient to the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. President Teddy Roosevelt I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than any other ability under the sun. John D Rockefeller The constraint isn t money, it s people. Rex Tilerson 87.5% 12.5% Source: John C Maxwell, Attitude 101, P. 16
We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other. What s the ROI on Emotional Intelligence? Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence When I compared leaders who were linked to strong performance with Average Performers, 90% of the difference was attributable to emotional intelligence rather than technical skills. Star leaders add 127% more value to the bottom line than average leaders High EI CEO s create more profit that low EI CEO s EI is twice as important as any other factor in predicting outstanding employee performance Sales professionals in the top 10% of the Emotional Competence Scale averaged sales of $6.7 million versus $3 million for average Emotional Competence performers * Source: What Makes a Leader?, Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence, Bantam 1995 and Working with Emotional Intelligence, Bantam 1998), Harvard Business Review, November-December 1998 Source: Dr Martyn Newman, 2nd Australian Positive Psychology & Well-Being Conference, Monash University, February, 2010
The Art of Communication www.listenupnow.com.au Pdf plus Audio The Art of Listening Traps for the Unwary Listening is a Key Roadblocks
There are actually 5 levels of listening 1. Ignoring Interrupting Reassuring Why don t we listen? 17sec Giving Advice; telling Going off on a tangent Rehearsing in your head what you are going to say as soon as you can grab a conversational opening 2. Pretending: This is recognised by words like yeah, uh-huh, right 3. Selective Listening: This is recognised when the person only hears certain parts of the conversation 4. Active Listening: This is when the person pays attention to the words being said 5. Empathic Listening: This is listening with intent to really understand what is being said and to really understand the feelings being expressed 1. Stop and prop and LOOK at the person 2. Suspend your Judgment What are the 6 main skills for listening? 3. Paraphrase the Content (the What) 4. Reflect the Feeling (the How, the Emotion) 5. Summarise 6. Ask Questions (but after you ve done 1 to 5)
Pick the Common Mistake On the next slide are 4 examples of listening responses numbered (a) to (d) in response to a person s initial comment. You are to do the following: (1) If you think the response is good (ie., it is a paraphrase of the content and/or a reflection of feeling), then rate it with a + sign; if you think it is an inadequate or poor response, rate it with a - sign (2) If you rate it with a - sign try to say why you think it is poor or inadequate (eg., is it judgemental, is it premature advice, is it reassuring, is it going off on a tangent, is it intellectualising etc) I wince every time someone asks me about my education. As soon as I say Year 10, I see their minds turn off. I feel that I m as educated as any Uni graduate. I read quite a bit. I deal with people and the customers well. I think I ve got whatever you re supposed to get from Uni - except the degree. Uni isn t the only educator. I know some people who I think were retarded by Uni. (a) Uh-huh. (b) You feel good because you ve been the principal agent in your own education. (c) You re not only angry at potential employers, you resent the whole system, and you d like to show people a thing or two. (d) You resent being categorised when you say Year 10. You believe that you re an educated person in your own way. (a) (-) (b) (-) (c) (-) (d) (+) The basic formula You feel because Work is alright. I do make a good living, and my family really likes the money. And at work, they like me; they like what I do, so I think my job s secure enough. But it s the same thing day after day. Maybe I m not the world s smartest person, but there s more to me than I use working on that computer each day. (Reflection of Feeling + Paraphrase) You re sort of caught because on the one hand you feel ok about the money and job security, but on the other hand, you think that you re capable of more.
Now let s get real I can t understand this person, they just won t listen to me. Seek first to understand, and then to be understood. Source: Dr Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People People do not care what you know until they know that you care We have 2 ears and 1 mouth and we ought to use them in that proportion
Listen Up Now The crucial importance of listening in business Dr Darryl Cross Leadership & Careers Coach: Psychologist 39 Brougham Place, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph: 08 8361 7722 Web: Email: darryl@crossways.com.au