Emotional Intelligence

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Cornell Municipal Clerks Institute 2015 Emotional Intelligence Understanding yourself, caring enough to understand others, managing yourself because you care

Session goals Explore the concept of emotional intelligence Discuss how developing this ability (and it can be developed) can make you more successful, more at peace, and a better performer at work. Try a few things to build your skills

While.. Intellectual capability (IQ) Knowledge Technical expertise Reasoning ability A threshold, not a differentiator for outstanding leadership* behavior Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Recognizing emotion in self and other, treating emotion as information Managing our emotions well in relationships* The differentiating factor in success EI is two times as important as IQ and technical expertise combined

Competence How Emotional Intelligence Develops Conscious Conscious Incompetence (feedback) Conscious Competence (experiment) Unconscious Incompetence (habit) Unconscious Competence (practice) Unconscious :

IQ plus EQ IQ Intellectual capability (IQ), knowledge, and technical expertise Is a threshold, not a differentiator for outstanding leadership EQ Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the differentiating factor in success EI is two times as important as IQ and technical expertise combined

Focus And Source Of Energy EXTRAVERTING (E)(46%) INTROVERTING (I) (54%) Stimulated by people, events, things Stimulated by inner world of thoughts and reflections Outer World Focus Gregarious Gets ideas by talking Many acquaintances Inner World Focus Quiet Gets ideas by thinking Fewer, deeper friendships

Focus And Source Of Energy EXTRAVERTING (E)(46%) INTROVERTING (I) (54%) Expressive Social: takes initiative in making contact with others Silence is embarrassing Reserved Introspective: lets others initiate contact Silence is a blessing Impatient Talk...think and feel Things that excite an "E", Patient Think and feel.. talk over stimulate an "I"

SENSING (S) (68%) Perceiving Function Ways of Gathering of Data INTUITIVE (N)(32%) Takes in information by way of the 5 senses: sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell Facts Details Accurately estimates time to do tasks Takes in information by way of the 6 th sense intuition Ideas Big Picture Difficulty estimating time to do tasks Present enjoyment Concrete Future achievement Abstract

SENSING (S) (68%) Ways of Gathering of Data INTUITIVE (N)(32%) Specific Likes to apply proven solutions Practical Discrete Learns sequentially (step by step) Today Trusts experience Live General Likes to create new solutions Possible Continuum Learns by seeking patterns, relationships Tomorrow Trusts theory Dream

Ways of making decisions THINKING (T) (53%) Males = 69%Females = 31% Objective Impersonal decisions based on analysis FEELING (F) (47%) Males = 31%Females = 69% Subjective Decisions based how it will affect people Analytical Trusts logic Guiding principles Fairness Persuasive Trusts personal reactions Guiding values Harmony

Judging Function: Ways of making decisions THINKING (T) Spontaneously find flaws/criticizes FEELING (F) Spontaneously appreciates & relates What? Analyzes plans Criteria/principles Questions Sympathized Who? Understands people Circumstances Accommodates Empathizes

How You Interact With The World JUDGING (J) (58%) PERCEIVING (P)(42%) Planned Closure Decisive Anticipate Likes things to proceed with order Likes structure Flexible Open-ended Curious React Likes to have options Goes with the flow

How You Interact With The World JUDGING (J) (58%) PERCEIVING (P)(42%) Finished Deadline conscious Likes to be in control of what s going on Schedules and plans to avoid anxiety Another angle Spontaneous Likes to see what s going on and then respond Energized by deadlines Doesn't easily tolerate uncertainty Makes lists and uses them Able to tolerate a fair amount of uncertainty Makes lists and loses them

Hogan Emotional Intelligence Model Intrapersonal Awareness: The degree to which people seem in touch with their emotions Interpersonal Emotional Perception Detection: The degree to which people seem aware of others emotions Regulation: The degree to which people seem to maintain positive emotional states Emotional Control Influence: The degree to which people seem intentionally to affect others moods, thoughts, and behaviors Expression: The degree to which people seem to communicate desired emotional states to others Emotional Sharing Empathy: The degree to which people seem to feel what others are feeling

Exercise: Awareness The self Directions: 1. Please take 3 minutes to reflect on how you were feeling when you prepared to come to the Institute today. 2. Write down those feelings, go into detail (don t worry, you won t have an obligation to share if you don t want to) 3. Reflect on how you are feeling after doing these first two steps. 4. Write these feelings down, again with detail.

Exercise: Detection the other Instructions: Please work in groups as requested. This is a silent exercise: Take 2-3 minutes and see if you can detect the emotions of a person in your group, just by observing. Write down what you detect. Listening exercise: Ask the other person to talk about what they are experiencing today and in this workshop Write down what emotions you detect. Repeat for the other person and then share what you have each detected about the other.

Academic Organizational Development 3. Ask the other person to tell their story. Prepare to learn about concerns--new information. Get ready to listen, without evaluating. Remember, this information is their feeling, their perceptions, their story----not yours. 2. Describe the situation What is the specific situation and behavior that is challenging. Express your perspectives without diminishing the other person. 4.Describe the impact of the behavior. How did you feel as a result of the behavior? 5. Develop options Work together to discuss options that will address the concerns. 6. Make a decision about which options to use and a plan for implementing the options. 1. Set a positive tone. Tell the other person why you value them 7. Meet and monitor Hold each other responsible for carrying out the plan. Evaluate whether it is working.

Exercise: Regulation-the self Instructions: Please work in groups as requested. Think about someone with whom you have recently been angry. What did you do or say? How did the other person react. What might you do to a)understand your emotion in that moment; b)act in a way that might diffuse or help you manage your anger. Please take turns sharing your stories.

Exercise: Influence The other Instructions: Please work in groups as requested. Reflect on another person you would like to influence (work-related). What can you do or say to modify the other person s emotion and reaction to you. Please take turns sharing.

Exercise: Expression The self Instructions: Work in groups as requested. Please take 3 minutes to reflect about what has made you happy, satisfied or grateful. Write down 3 things that made you happy, satisfied or grateful today. Share what you have written Note how you feel when you have shared with each other

Exercise: Empathy The other Instructions: Please think about someone with whom you have met recently who was experiencing some difficult emotions. Did you detect what they were feeling? If you didn t what were the barriers you felt? If you did, what did you detect? How could you have shown that you had empathy could feel what they were feeling.