The Power of This Moment No, THIS Moment!

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The Power of This Moment No, THIS Moment! Thomas O Reilly MS, PCC Copyright 2011 by IMPACT Solutions, All Rights Reserved. This document may not be reproduced or duplicated in whole or in part by any means whatsoever without the prior written authorization of IMPACT Solutions. Defining Key Terms:» Power: to be able; the ability to do, act, or produce; vigor, strength; authority; force or energy that is at, or can be put to work.» Control: (orig) to check or verify; exercise authority over; direct, command; curb, restrain. (2 buckets)» Influence: (orig) to flow in; to affect others.» Moment: movement; impulse; brief space of time; the present or immediate future. 1

History of this Concept:» There are many historical examples of focusing on the present moment» Jewish: Moses prayed, So teach us to number our days, so that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom.» Christian: Jesus said, Tell them, before Moses was, I AM.» Paul said, Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal... History of this Concept: (cont.)» Stone-Age Hawaii: The earliest recordings of their culture included a reference to 3 major Hawaiian gods (among their many gods). The 3 rd god in this trinity they named KU which was the god of the Aware Presence. KU meant Here! Present!» Greek Mythology: The stories of Hercules & Chiron (a centaur and healer), as well as Baucus & Philemon (mortals) include references to mindfulness in the moment 2

History of this Concept: (cont.)» Buddhist: Zen Buddhism is built on what is referred to as the Eight-fold Path. The Seventh element of this path is entitled, Right Mindfulness.» This promoted the cumulative use of the previous 6 elements (Right View, Intention, Speech, Action, Livelihood, & Effort), and these are the foundation for the 8 th element which is Right Concentration.» Right Mindfulness is the pursuit of restraining greed, hatred and delusion within a person. History of this Concept: (cont.) Buddhist (cont.):» There are many Buddhist schools, and each teaches/implements the Eight-fold path differently, but the focus is similar.» Mindfulness became more popular after the Chinese invasion of Tibet, killing all the monks and destroying the Buddhist libraries.» A few monks escaped to India, among them Dhali Lama, who taught of this practice. 3

Modern Mindfulness:» Western Civilization employs various forms of contemporary mindfulness to help people deal with chronic pain, stress, anxiety, and depressive mood states, OCD, and a host of mental, emotional and physical conditions.» Used in CBT, DBT, Gestalt, Meditation, etc.» A core component of our use of this practice is self-awareness & attending to the moment.» Some Buddhist Lamas reject current Western Mindfulness practices. Reticular Activating System:» The portal through which most info enters the brain. (Smells are the exception)» It filters out content you decide is of no value.» It acts on the beliefs and perceptions you already possess; your world view.» It controls consciousness, sleep, and the objects of your focus.» It keeps track of your goals and priorities.» It triggers emotions and stimulates arousal.» It monitors pain and guards your security. 4

Reticular Activating System: (cont.)» It responds to novelty, noticing anything new and different.» As long as you don t bog it down with your own personal issues, it will work for you.» The RAS is located in the brain stem, and transmits info throughout the brain & body.» Psychiatric D/O s that affect sleep/wake cycles will adversely impact functioning of the RAS (i.e. Depression, Anxiety, etc.). 5

Reticular Activating System: (cont.)» Life experiences are essential for the formation of synaptic connections.» Therefore, the RAS reinforces and regulates incoming data, based on those connections.» Beliefs are ideas with lots of references.» As you change your beliefs and perceptions, your RAS will promote the creation of NEW synaptic connections.» This brings new meaning to Changing your Mind! Backward, Future and NOW!» What does a focus on the past produce in us? Depression, guilt, regrets, shame, (Memories we rehearse and relive)» What does a focus on the future produce? Anxiety, worry, fear, dissatisfaction, insecurities (Anticipation of things we are not sure we can handle)» BOTH of these render us powerless!!! Let me explain 6

Backward, Future and NOW! (cont.)» Focusing on the present is the ONLY focus that retains power in your life.» I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. ~Mark Twain» If you want fear on purpose, get a future, if you want shame, get a past! ~Byron Katie How to live in the moment:» Learn to focus on what you have, who you are, & what is going on in/around you NOW!» Daniel Goleman defines Emotional Intelligence as awareness in the present moment, really mindfulness.» Forget about what if, and observe what is.» Become a student of your senses.» Zone In to the world around you.» Children are pros at being present. Be a child.» Nurture a heart of gratitude every day. 7

How to live in the moment: (cont.)» Focus on your breathing, with eyes closed.» Get out of your comfort zone; Explore life!» Develop Assertiveness in communicating.» Shed unresolved resentments and hurts.» Identify unhealthy, toxic beliefs and replace them with healthy, rich beliefs.» Lets take a moment to practice breathing and being present. Applied Mindfulness:» The Role of Forgiveness: Commit to a process of personal healing. Recognize the value of forgiveness to the offended. Reflect on the offense(s), feel the pain. Consider how the resentment has imprisoned the person who has not forgiven. Make a conscious choice to release the offender. Clearly say to yourself, I forgive them! When the thoughts and emotions return, be resolved to stay with the commitment to forgive. Relate to the offender as if they are forgiven; with compassion, yet with boundaries. 8

» Scrutinize your beliefs and emotions» We feel what we believe» A B C D Applied Mindfulness (cont.): Activating events trigger beliefs. Beliefs stir emotions. Beliefs & emotions drive actions/words.» Beliefs are formed through life experiences.» Beliefs are either Rational or Irrational.» Rational beliefs: truth, functional & healthy.» Irrational beliefs: lies, dysfunctional & toxic.» Changing these yields tremendous power. Applied Mindfulness: (cont.)» Develop your Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Practice asking How do I feel right now? Look beneath Anger (2ndary emotion) for Pain/Fear. With courage, face your uncomfortable emotions. Let your emotions expose your beliefs and needs. Channel emotions into motivations. Learn to accept others emotions 9

Applied Mindfulness: (cont.)» In Closing: Life contains two buckets! You give your brain its power Use it!! Backward & Future focus robs your power! Assertive Communication is the highest power in relationships. Forgiveness frees us from bondage NOW! Rational beliefs yield tremendous power! This moment is where true power lies No THIS moment! 10

IMPACT Provides You:» Free and confidential assistance for: You Parents/Parents-in-law Spouse/Partner Anyone living in your Children/Dependents household» Unlimited phone consultation available 24/7» Complimentary face-to-face counseling sessions per person, per occurrence» Legal assistance» Financial assistance» Identity theft prevention and recovery assistance» Comprehensive Work/Life web site» And much more! For Further Assistance Contact the IMPACT Solutions Employee Assistance & Work/Life Program by Calling 800-227-6007 or Visiting www.myimpactsolution.com 11