Mental Health Borderline Personality Disorder
a) Borderline Personality Disorder b) I want to go into detail because I feel that many addicts with Complex Trauma have this i. BPD comes out of more severe CT ii. Brain s extreme way of dealing with abandonment c) Key can go through life looking very welladjusted calm, sane, logical, nice. The problem occurs when a deep fear is triggered. They totally lose it become a different person, a psycho d) When triggered, it negatively affects their thinking, emotions, behaviour, relationships
1. BPD Characteristics 4 Areas A. Self - Very low self-esteem a) Nearly always feel empty b) Usually very hard on themselves c) Some feel they deserve to be abused d) Some deny that they have low selfesteem and work hard to prove they are superior to others e) Unclear or unstable self-image Sudden shifts in the way they view themselves or life. Can result in changing their goals, values and focus, likes and dislikes
B. Emotions a) Drastic mood swings - Anxiety, depression, irritability, anger b) Explosive anger - very hard to control - Often say very hurtful things, act out c) Hate self, beat self up d) Can have empathy when they feel safe; but when something triggers trauma, empathy goes out the window; powerful emotions take over; conscience shuts down e) Stress results in being paranoid, spacing out, dissociating
f) Worry about the negative effects of the past g) Fear uncertainty/change/unknown h) Fear failure, losing control or falling apart i) When triggered, go quickly to depression and hopelessness what s the point? C. Behaviours a) Impulsive, self-destructive behaviours b) Engage in risky behaviours driving, unsafe sex, addiction, spend money recklessly c) Self-harm or suicidal behaviours d) Super structured and controlling
D. Relationships mainly intimate relationships a) Romantic relationship are very intense and very unstable i. Lots of mistrust and intense jealousy ii. Jump to worst-case iii. Become needy, controlling, manipulate, tests, push/pull messages (needy, then pull away) b) Drastic shift in how they view those they care most about i. I love you, I hate you ii. Thinking that swings to extremes
c) Idealize others when they first meet them Then share intimate information; then feel they aren t there enough for them d) Or very suspicious of people read negative motives into their actions, look for negative e) If someone is nice to them, they wonder what s wrong with that person f) Summary unstable in moods, thinking, relationships, self-image, behaviours, goals, likes and dislikes i. Like living with one exposed nerve ending ii. Like being on a roller coaster
g) Observation they appear fairly normal. They will have some characteristics that are seen on an ongoing basis; but some will come out only when they are triggered 5. Question a) Is there an underlying issue that resulted in the brain creating these patterns when the person was young? Is there a common theme to the things that trigger it? b) Answer Key Characteristic - Deep fear of abandonment. Engage in frantic efforts to avoid
2. Triggers Note: Triggered most in intimate relationships a) Feel disrespected b) Feel rejected c) Feel situation is unfair don t feel heard; feel unfairly judged d) Feel loss of control new situations, unknown e) Failure not doing something perfectly f) Fear being abandoned
3. Once triggered a) Very hard to calm down b) Can t think straight; thinking is distorted c) Act out in reckless, hurtful ways d) Note: Triggers are very intense and create an intense, nanosecond pull toward unhealthy, hurtful responses e) Note: Feel great guilt afterwards, and determine never to do it again i. But know that it will happen again ii. Feel helpless to break cycle or change f) Note: Many with BPD also struggle with depression, anxiety, paranoia
4. Healing A. In the moment when triggered a) Pause b) Deescalate c) Grounding breathing, walks, counting, getting centred d) Note: The success of changing BPD responses hangs on making changes at this moment of feeling an intense pull towards old, unhealthy patterns B. Once deescalated, get thinking out of distortion into a wise mind
a) Self-awareness i. Of triggers ii. Of daily emotional state b) Mindfulness i. Grow spiritually and emotionally ii. Learn tools iii. Identify lies in your thinking c) Distress tolerance d) Don t feed the unhealthy characteristics e) Acceptance - You re a survivor of deep wounds/trauma. Healing is a long journey