Ronald B. Adler, Lawrence B. Rosenfeld, Russell F. Proctor II Interplay : the process of interpersonal communication Brief Contents PREFACE PART ONE: FOUNDATIONS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION CHAPTER 1: CHAPTER 2: CHAPTER 3: CHAPTER 4: Interpersonal Process 1 Interpersonal Communication in a Changing World: Culture and Social Networking 28 Communication and the Self 64 Perceiving Others 106 PART TWO: CREATING AND RESPONDING TO MESSAGES CHAPTER 5: CHAPTER 6: CHAPTER 7: CHAPTER 8: Language 140 Nonverbal Communication 174 Listening: Receiving and Responding 208 Emotions 244 PART THREE: DIMENSIONS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS CHAPTER 9: CHAPTER 10: CHAPTER 11: CHAPTER 12: Dynamics of Interpersonal Relationships 278 Communication Climate 310 Managing Conflict 348 Interpersonal Contexts: Friends, Family, and Intimate Relationships 382 GLOSSARY G-1 REFERENCES R-1 CREDITS C-1 AUTHOR INDEX AI-1 SUBJECT INDEX SI-1
Contents PREFACE xiv PART ONE: FOUNDATIONS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION CHAPTER 1 Interpersonal Process AT WORK: COMMUNICATION AND CAREER ADVANCEMENT 7 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH DAILY CONVERSATIONS 19 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: HOW TO (NOT) ANTAGONIZE YOUR PROFESSOR: ADAPTING E-MESSAGES 23 EXCESSIVE SELF-MONITORING DISCOURAGES INTIMACY 24 Why We Communicate з Physical Needs 4 Identity Needs 5 Social Needs 6 Practical Needs 7 The Communication Process 8 A Model of Communication 8 Insights from the Transactional Communication Model 9 Communication Principles 11 Communication Misconceptions 13 Interpersonal Communication Defined 15 Quantitative and Qualitative Definitions 15 Personal and Impersonal Communication: A Matter of Balance 17 Communication Competence 19 Communication Competence Defined 20 Characteristics of Competent Communication 22 Summary 25 Key Terms 26 Activities 26 CHAPTER 2 Interpersonal Communication in a Changing World: Culture and Social Networking 28 Interpersonal Communication in a Diverse World зо Fundamentals of Culture зо Cultural Values and Norms 36 Codes and Culture 41 Developing Intercultural Communication Competence 48 vi
CONTENTS vii FOCUS ON RESEARCH: FITTING IN: PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES AND ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURES 32 ALONE TOGETHER 54 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: LESS CAN BE MORE: WHEN ONLINE PARTNERS MEET IN PERSON 55 AT WORK: CHOOSING A COMMUNICATION CHANNEL 58 Social Media in a Changing World 51 Characteristics of Social Media 52 Social Media and Relational Quality 54 Communicating Competently with Social Media 56 Summary 60 Key Terms 61 Activities 62 CHAPTER 3 Communication and the Self 64 Communication and the Self-Concept 66 How the Self-Concept Develops 67 Characteristics of the Self-Concept 70 The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication 73 Changing Your Self-Concept 76 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: BODY IMAGE AND THE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT 68 AT WORK: IDENTITY MANAGEMENT IN THE WORKPLACE 81 BATTLING ADDICTIONS THROUGH SELF-DISCLOSURE 95 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: DISCLOSING IDENTITY INFORMATION-OFFLINE VS. ONLINE 96 Presenting the Self: Communication as Identity Management 77 Public and Private Selves 78 Characteristics of Identity Management 79 Why Manage Impressions? 80 How Do We Manage Impressions? 82 Identity Management and Honesty 84 Disclosing the Self: What to Reveal? 85 Models of Self-Disclosure 87 Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure 90 Guidelines for Self-Disclosure 94 Alternatives to Self-Disclosure 96 Summary 101 Key Terms 102 Activities юз CHAPTER 4 Perceiving Others 106 The Perception Process 109 Reality Is Constructed 109 Steps in the Perception Process 111 Influences on Perception 116 Physiological Influences 116 Psychological Influences 118
viii CONTENTS AT WORK: SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND PERCEPTION 120 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: ETHNICITY SHAPES PERCEPTIONS 122 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: DOES HONESTY HURT? RECEIVERS SAY "YES," SENDERS SAY "NO" 127 WHEN EMPATHY GOES OVERBOARD 133 Social Influences 119 Cultural Influences 122 Common Tendencies in Perception 124 We Make Snap Judgments 124 We Cling to First Impressions 126 We Judge Ourselves More Charitably than We Do Others 127 We Are Influenced by Our Expectations 128 We Are Influenced by the Obvious 128 We Assume Others Are Like Us 129 Synchronizing Our Perceptions 130 Perception Checking BO Building Empathy 132 Summary 136 Key Terms 137 Activities 137 CHAPTER 5 Language 140 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: "I DON'T MEAN TO ANTAGONIZE YOU, BUT..." 152 THE INCIVILITY OF HATE SPEECH 156 AT WORK: SWEARING ON THE JOB 165 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: SEX DIFFERENCES IN INSTANT MESSAGES 169 The Nature of Language 142 Language Is Symbolic 142 Language Is Rule-Governed 143 Language Is Subjective 145 Language and Worldview 146 The Impact of Language 148 Naming and Identity 148 Affiliation 149 Power 150 Sexism and Racism 152 Uses (and Abuses) of Language 155 Precision and Vagueness 155 The Language of Responsibility 161 Disruptive Language 165 Gender and Language 167 Extent of Gender Differences 167 Accounting for Gender Differences 169 Summary 170 Key Terms 171 Activities 172
CONTENTS ix Nonverbal Communication 174 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: POWER POSING 191 AT WORK: TOUCH AND CAREER SUCCESS 193 ACCENTS AND STIGMAS 195 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: IT'S ABOUT TIME: THE COSTS OF DELAYED RESPONSES 200 Nonverbal Communication Defined 177 Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 177 All Behavior Has Communicative Value 178 Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational 179 Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous 180 Nonverbal Communication Is Influenced by Culture and Gender 181 Functions of Nonverbal Communication 182 Creating and Maintaining Relationships 183 Regulating Interaction 183 Influencing Others 186 Concealing/Deceiving 186 Managing Identity 188 Types of Nonverbal Communication 189 Body Movement 189 Touch 192 Voice 194 Distance 197 Territoriality 199 Time 199 Physical Attractiveness 201 Clothing 202 Physical Environment 203 Summary 204 Key Terms 205 Activities 205 CHAPTER 7 Listening: Receiving and Responding208 The Nature of Listening 210 The Importance of Listening 210 Listening Defined 211 Reasons for Listening 214 The Challenge of Listening 216 Listening Is Not Easy 216 All Listeners Do Not Receive the Same Message 218 Poor Listening Habits 218
x CONTENTS AT WORK: LISTENING ON THE JOB 212 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: DIVIDED ATTENTION: PHONING WHILE DRIVING 217 HEARING LOSS AND RELATIONAL STRESS 219 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: BLOGGING AS SOCIAL SUPPORT FOR THE MORBIDLY OBESE 233 Components of Listening 219 Hearing 219 Attending 220 Understanding 221 Remembering 221 Responding 222 Types of Listening Responses 222 Silent Listening 223 Questioning 224 Paraphrasing 227 Empathizing 229 Supporting 231 Analyzing 235 Evaluating 235 Advising 236 Which Style to Use? 237 Summary 240 Key Terms 241 Activities 241 CHAPTER 8 Emotions 244 What Are Emotions? 247 Physiological Changes 248 Nonverbal Reactions 248 Cognitive Interpretations 250 Verbal Expression 250 Influences on Emotional Expression 252 Personality 252 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: EMOTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE 249 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: SAYING "I LOVE YOU": DIFFERENT CULTURES, DIFFERENT RULES 253 AT WORK: EMOTION LABOR ON THE JOB 254 WHEN JEALOUSY REARS ITS HEAD 273 Culture 252 Gender 255 Social Conventions and Roles 255 Fear of Self-Disclosure 257 Emotional Contagion 257 Guidelines for Expressing Emotions 258 Recognize Your Feelings 258 Choose the Best Language 259 Share Multiple Feelings 261 Recognize the Difference between Feeling and Acting 262 Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings 262 Choose the Best Time and Place to Express Your Feelings 262
CONTENTS xi Managing Difficult Emotions 263 Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions 263 Thoughts Cause Feelings 264 Irrational Thinking and Debilitative Emotions 266 Minimizing Debilitative Emotions 271 Summary 274 Key Terms 275 Activities 275 PART THREE: DIMENSIONS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Dynamics of Interpersonal Relationships 278 ABUSING THOSE WHO DISCLOSE 286 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: OPENING LINES: INITIATING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS 288 AT WORK: SOCIAL CAPITAL AND CAREER ADVANCEMENT 296 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: REEL TO REAL?: RELATIONAL COMMUNICATION IN ROMANTIC COMEDIES 303 Why We Form Relationships 280 Appearance 281 Similarity 282 Complementarity 282 Rewards 283 Competency 285 Proximity 285 Disclosure 286 Communication and Relational Dynamics 287 Developmental Models of Interpersonal Relationships 287 Dialectical Perspectives on Relational Dynamics 295 Communicating about Relationships 301 Content and Relational Messages 301» Expression of Relational Messages 302 Repairing Damaged Relationships 303 Types of Relational Transgressions 304 Strategies for Relational Repair 305 Forgiving Transgressions 306 Summary 307 Key Terms зов Activities 308
xii CONTENTS CHAPTER 10 Communication Climate 310 What Is Communication Climate? 312 How Communication Climates Develop 313 Levels of Message Confirmation 314 Defensiveness 321 Climate Patterns 323 AT WORK: TAKE THIS JOB AND LOVE IT 315 CYBERBULLYING: ELECTRONIC CHARACTER ASSASSINATION 317 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: SAVING FACE WHILE DELIVERING BAD NEWS 322 Creating Positive Climates 325 Reducing Defensiveness 325 Offering Constructive Criticism 332 Transforming Negative Climates 334 Seek More Information 334 Agree with the Critic 338 Summary 344 Key Terms 345 Activities 346 CHAPTER 11 Managing Conflict 348 What Is Conflict? 351 Expressed Struggle 351 Perceived Incompatible Goals 351 Perceived Scarce Resources 352 Interdependence 352 Inevitability 352 AT WORK: THIRD-PARTY DISPUTE RESOLUTION 356 WHEN SILENCE ISN'T GOLDEN 360 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: ATTACHMENT STYLES AND RELATIONAL CONFLICT 369 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: SELF- FULFILLING PROPHECIES SHAPE CONFLICT OUTCOMES 376 Functional and Dysfunctional Conflicts 353 Integration versus Polarization 354 Cooperation versus Opposition 354 Confirmation versus Disconfirmation 355 Agreement versus Coercion 355 De-escalation versus Escalation 355 Focusing versus Drifting 355 Foresight versus Shortsightedness 356 Positive versus Negative Results 357 Conflict Styles 357 Avoidance (Lose-Lose) 358 Accommodation (Lose-Win) 360 Competition (Win-Lose) 361 Compromise (Negotiated Lose-Lose) 362 Collaboration (Win-Win) 363 Which Style to Use? 367
CONTENTS xiii Conflict in Relational Systems 367 Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles 368 Toxic Conflict: The "Four Horsemen" 370 Conflict Rituals 371 Variables in Conflict Styles 372 Gender 372 Culture 374 Conflict Management in Practice 375 Summary 379 Key Terms 380 Activities 380 CHAPTER 12 Interpersonal Contexts : Friends, Family, and Intimate Relationships З82 Communication in Friendships 384 Types of Friendships 384 Friendships, Gender, and Communication 386 Communication in Successful Friendships 389 Communication in the Family 391 Creating the Family through Communication 392 Patterns of Family Communication 393 AT WORK: CAN WOMEN BE COWORKERS AND FRIENDS? 388 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: THE COMMUNICATION CHALLENGES OF NOT-SO-CASUAL SEX 389 VIRTUALLY UNFAITHFUL: EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY IN CYBERSPACE 407 FOCUS ON RESEARCH: MAINTAINING MARRIAGES THROUGH FLIRTING 408 Types of Family Relationships 396 Effective Communication in Families 399 Communication in Intimate Relationships 402 Dimensions of Intimacy 402 Gender and Intimacy 404 Culture and Intimacy 405 Social Media and Intimacy 406 Commitment in Intimate Relationships 406 Maintaining Intimate Relationships 408 Summary 409 Key Terms 410 Activities 410 GLOSSARY G-1 REFERENCES R-1 CREDITS C-1 AUTHOR INDEX AM SUBJECT INDEX SI-1